When she saw off Chen Fei at the airport, she was a little distracted. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

I asked her if she was not feeling well.

She fell into my arms and shook her head.

Seeing her go through security, I expected her to look back and give me a warm look.

However, she didn't look back.

Two days later, I called her and asked her what she needed help with, and I went back to Beijing immediately.

She was resolute and didn't let me go back, told me to work hard in Shanghai, not to be distracted, and to be fine.

After thinking about it, I thought there must be something strange here, bought a plane ticket, and prepared to fly to Beijing.

When I arrived at Pudong Airport, I hadn't entered the security check before I received a call from Chen Fei.

I said I was going back to you, and we would face something together.

She paused for a long time on the other end of the phone, not speaking.

"Fei Fei, are you still there?"

"Well, I'm here." Her voice was as calm as water, without the slightest wave, "Xiaoyu, let's stop here." ”

Suddenly, as if frozen by an extremely cold current, I froze there, slowed down for a moment, and spit out a few words with difficulty: "This is the end, what...... What do you mean? ”

"We don't fit, I'm sorry, take care of yourself in the future."

Then there was the beep of the phone hanging up.

It wasn't the phone that she hung up, it was like my pulse.

Confusion, despair, anger, sadness, a mass of emotions churned inside me like a demon, and the sense of the end of the world that the sky was falling made everything around me lose its sound and color

I didn't know how to walk back to my accommodation, lay on the sofa, and fell into a deep sleep.

When I woke up, it was already dark.

I thought she was around, sleeping in my arms as usual. When you open your eyes, you can see her lovely eyelashes and beautiful red lips.

Then, I kissed her awake and together we cooked, washed dishes, watched movies, and chatted.

However, I stood alone, and everything here lingered with the fragrance of her body.

Am I in a dream?

It's my nightmare, and the beautiful time with me is the reality.

I wanted to wake myself up and slam my fist on my forehead until tears ran down my cheeks and down my neck.

Finally came to his senses and realized what he had lost.

In those days, I snuggled up in the house, only drinking water, in a daze, looking at our photos on my phone, and then deleting them one by one.

Every time I delete one, it is like cutting off a piece of flesh on my body, which is the most cruel punishment for me.

When Fang Xiao knocked on the door, I couldn't tell if it was day or night, because for me, it was always night.

She walked into the house, looked at me with a scruffy beard and the mess of the room, and didn't speak, perhaps, she had guessed a little.

"She's gone." I said calmly.

"Oh." Fang smiled in response and began to clean up the room silently.

I sat on the couch and watched her, and when she was done, she threw a bunch of clothes into the washing machine to wash it...... Start wiping the table, mopping the floor, cooking.

Her dishes are my favorites.

The hunger suppressed by grief finally exploded, and I gulped the vegetables and choked.

Fang Xiao handed me a glass of orange juice, and the position she was sitting in was the same as where Chen Fei had been sitting before.

Thinking of the exact same scene when Chen Fei and I were together, I couldn't help coughing violently and choking on tears.

Fang Xiao patted me on the back and said, "Slow down." ”

Afterward, she sat quietly and watched me burp after eating.

"Are you full?"

I nodded.

"The magazine needs you, adjust it, and come to work next Monday, is that okay? Luo Da Prawn, Guifei, Wu Shuang and colleagues miss you very much. ”

"Okay."

"There are some things, we are in the middle of it, we feel that the wind and waves are about to be overwhelmed, in fact, time will always smooth everything, what should go will always go, and people must always learn to look forward. I know that no amount of comforting words are enough for you now, and I am sure that you will start all over again. ”

"Thanks, I'll be at the office next week."

After Fang Xiao left, I slowly came to the mirror, and when I saw the emaciated and decadent person inside, I could barely recognize it.

After a hot bath, for half an hour, the muddy water flowed down from me and into hell, as if my sorrows had been washed away with me.

Even though the hard core of this monster is still in my body, I decided to hide it and try not to hurt myself or others.

Shave off your presumptuous beard and slowly unload your frustration.

On Monday, I walked into Fang Xiao's office in high spirits and went straight to the point: "I am willing to accept the position of associate editor." ”

Fang Xiao saw that I was so calm, and smiled: "I've been waiting for your words!" ”

In the future, the circulation and influence of "Roadfarer" have become more and more large, and it has been able to compete with the first-line domestic tourism geography magazines in a short period of time, which is due to the team's advocating openness and freedom.

The atmosphere here is very similar to that of New Speech, where everyone has the opportunity to show their ingenuity.

I told the team at the meeting: "Filmmaker Buñuel also said: 'A writer can't change the world, but they can pose an extremely important edge of disobedience.'" In this age when the power is free to manipulate art, our magazines must insist that we are the marginalized people who do not obey. ”

It was extremely gratifying to see their heartfelt applause and approval.

Slowly, I came out of the night and the pain.

Meng Yishen began to chase after Fang Xiao and often invited us to dinner. However, I spent most of my time shirking it and creating a two-person world for them.

Occasionally I got drunk with He Tielong in a bar, and he took me to a place I had never been to before, a place to play in Shanghai, and he was really him. Damn.

He said, women's things, just like clothes, are boring, there are so many clothes, don't stare at that one.

But, for me, women are not clothes, but a species with more souls than men.

I started a new life in Shanghai, a petty bourgeois city, not as rugged and gruff as Beijing, nor as lazy and intoxicated as Chengdu.

She is like a modern Jiangnan woman, half graceful, half fashionable, I wander between these two poles, reading books, watching movies, watching dramas, and meeting friends.

It's just that when a person walks on the Huangpu River and sees lovers snuggled together, his heart still hurts slightly.

I believe in the curse, perhaps, my curse is that I will not be able to find her, and I will be doomed to be lonely for the rest of my life.