That night, Yuan Zheng crooked on the sofa and warned me, if you become famous in the future, you can't be a person like Truman Capote, others are hell, and the upper class society can't tolerate people like you. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info

I said, don't worry, I will follow the footsteps of the old man Thoreau in the future, build a shack in the deep mountains and old forests, raise two chickens, plant some sweet potatoes, pick chrysanthemums under the east fence, and see Nanshan leisurely, don't worry, I can't do Capote.

Yang Chenjun asked me if I could take him in.

I said I'll take you to play, so I don't need to say.

After that, we shook hands.

I asked, "You played with me, what about your girlfriend?" ”

"Threesome!" Yuan Zheng shouted at the side of him, and laughed lewdly after yelling.

Yang Chenjun immediately kicked over, Yuan Zheng screamed, and rolled to the floor.

Often idle eggs hurt people, it is necessary to know Capote's people. He is a black-bellied American novelist who has become a darling of Hollywood for pioneering the "true crime" genre of non-fiction.

As a writer, his greatest ability is not to write, but to communicate. Writers and socialisation seem to me to be incompatible, just as discordant as a monk or nun going to Walmart to sell pork.

After Capote became famous, he often fought with the upper class and couldn't extricate himself.

The problems of writers are similar to those of big-chested and brainless women, and if it were not for the domination of the aura of high and evil culture, many writers would be several grades lower than prostitutes.

Capote, who thinks he can do anything if he is close to high society, publishes the long-unfinished fragment of "Prayer in Return" in the American magazine Esquire, exposing the troubles of those wealthy and prominent friends.

The upper class was annoyed and thought that the neurotic Capote was exaggerating, so they kicked him out of the celebrity circle with a concerted kick.

Depressed, Capote began to drink and take drugs uncontrollably, and was exhausted by various lawsuits. In his later years, his indulgence and lack of restraint brought Capote to the same tragic end as countless talented and arrogant artists.

On the evening of August 25, 1984, Capote died suddenly at the home of a female friend due to overuse of drugs at the age of 59.

Capote has always been known for his courage to speak, and a word he invented turned purple after being packaged by China's literary youth. He once criticized his fellow writer James Baldwin for his taboo-breaking approach to heavy tastes in his novels as "vulgar and so idle that they are 'balls-achingboredom.'"

As a result, it is so idle that it hurts to run rampant on the land of China, and it is unstoppable.

Speaking of egg pain, college life can be described as the most painful time in life, and it can really be so idle that people's eggs hurt to fall. Except for top students.

When you find out that the score is 59 points at the end of the semester, you find that not only does the egg hurt, but the heart hurts even more.

I remember that Yuan Zheng was recruited in the first semester, "High Mathematics" scored 59 points, he angrily scolded the bald teacher in the dormitory, and scolded the school I went to your mother's Chinese department and opened a high mathematics class, isn't it a construction worker who also wants to learn nail beauty.

In this way, the three of us nested on the sofa and recalled our college life, which was quite touching. and then I was ashamed of the three old men for being so sentimental.

We were bored, talking about women after sports, talking about women after talking about women, and talking about women when we talked about movies.

In the end, I didn't talk about it, and I didn't know how to tear off the topic of fart, and I started to fart louder than who.

In ancient China, when the perverted emperor copulated with a concubine, the latter could not fart, and was not allowed to be sent to the cold palace for the rest of his life. Because farting will affect the harmony in the Imperial City.

Before the Renaissance, there had been a desperate struggle between the left and right wings of the West over the two lines of "forbidden farts" and "procrastination", and a compromise was reached in the relevant chapter of Erastas's book The Etiquette of Children, published in 1530: "Quiet farting is a virtue. ”

The Japanese are more offbeat, and the strange masterpiece of the Edo period, "The Picture Scroll of the Battle of Fart", describes the scene of a battle with a fart in ancient Japan. In this set of images, the warring parties fart at each other, blowing each other on their backs with their farts.

Not only that, but there are also professional fart people in Japan, who use their farts to imitate various drum sounds, musical scales, firecrackers, dog barking, rooster crowing, etc.

Finally, we discuss why people fart

Yang Chenjun said: "Human beings inhale too much turbidity, and the human body purifies the turbidity into clear gas and releases it through farts, so although farts stink, they are the cleanest things in the world." ”

We agree.

Yang Chenjun is a vegetarian all year round, lacks middle qi, and farts dumbly, and is willing to bow down in the fart competition.

Yuan Zheng pressed his stomach and held back his strength, only to hear the popping sound of a car motor, and the bed was shaken. He said: "Lao Tzu pulling the plug is the sound of a Porsche supercar, you are not convinced." ”

Yuan Zheng won the championship of the fart contest, and the reward was me and Yang Chenjun for letting him for a week.

Yuan Zheng was so happy that he couldn't help himself and asked us what we were asking him for a week.

I said, "Let you volunteer to clean the dormitory for a week." ”

He was so angry that he screamed. However, he didn't go home for a month, and as a result, the burden of housework still fell on me and Yang Chenjun.

After farting, people are out of breath, and they are even more bored, and Yuan Zheng began to instill in us the Dafa of picking up girls. "As roommates, I feel a deep sense of shame that you two are still virgins, and this shame is even worse every time I see you quietly masturbating like bears," he said. Especially you, Junjun, who broke up with your girlfriend and didn't do anything about her? ”

"Wait until you get married, I'll ......"

I said, "It's an impossible task for you to turn me and Monk Yang into non-virgins, you should die." Isn't it, Monk Yang? ”

Yang Chenjun is actually not so literate, and he can talk about anything when he chats with us, he said: "Yes, I have thought about the first time very wonderfully, and my lover is in front of the flowers and under the moon, the lights are red and willow green......"

Yuan Zheng was annoyed: "How did Lao Tzu meet two such sullen roommates, go, I'll take you out to see and see." ”

"What do you see?" I asked.

"Don't worry, I won't let you be ducks, just follow my brother."

Yang Chenjun asked: "Where are you going to mix in the middle of the night?" ”

"You don't understand, Beijing's nightlife is only starting now."

Let's think about it, it's not to sell our bodies anyway, and we will follow Yuan Zheng to see his erosive life and not lose a few catties of meat. We got up, got dressed, and slipped out.

Yuan Zheng drove us straight to Sanlitun in his sports car, and the Third Ring Road had never slipped so smoothly as if it had cleared our intestines. Yuan Zheng said that the scene was similar to the year when the tank hit the streets.

I said you ****** was only one or two years old at the time, you know something. He said he had crossed over.

The car was flying fast, and Yang Chenjun and I grabbed the door handle of the car, afraid that we would be thrown out of the car and die.

Yuan Zheng looked at our **** and smiled: "Damn, you won't, this turtle speed can scare you like this." ”

Yang Chenjun said stupidly: "It's good to be steady, why rush in life." ”

In less than half an hour, the car hurled to Sanlitun.

There are many bars here, lit up everywhere, and the gorgeous colors are eye-catching.

People come and go on both sides of the street, all dressed up in the most avant-garde and fancy, but they can't see their spirit, let alone temperament.

This is the place where the so-called fashionable urbanites are looking for nightlife, which is not attractive to me in the slightest, but more like a place for rural migrant workers and fake literary youth.

Yuan Zheng pointed to the group of people and said: "Look at these men and women who are pretending to be forced, they are dressed more fashionably than anyone else, and the discerning people will know that these are all local chickens and ducks at a glance." ”

I said, "To put it bluntly, isn't this a place for all kinds of chickens and ducks to bargain?" ”

Yuan Zheng looked at me with great contempt: "You are out, the chickens and ducks go to low-level places, my brother will take you to see high-end goods today." ”

"Isn't it just a place for high-end chicken and duck activities?"

Yuan Zheng sneered and said, "Whatever you want, let's be happy tonight, and you have to hold on to it later to avoid premature ejaculation." ”

I was thinking about what kind of high-end place Yuan Zheng was going to take us to, it must be the most prosperous nightclub here. As a result, the car turned into an alley, and finally planted into a deserted underground parking lot, which was a little deserted, but all kinds of luxury cars were parked.

Yuan Zheng said: "This Beijing city, just like a pyramid, the three religions and nine streams have their own scope of activity, and the high-end clubs are all over the place, what you can see is low-end, and what you can't see, then it is high-level, and high-end goods are lurking here, understand?" ”

I said, "It's just a harem for the rich, a place for people with fat brains to vent their bestiality, it's not interesting." ”

After the car stopped, two young men in ceremonial dresses came over.

Yuan Zheng took out a card, and one of the young men took it and glanced at it, and then said politely: "Sir, please come with me." ”

We followed these two people to the elevator entrance, the elevator decoration is magnificent, the golden dragon and phoenix dance picture on the elevator wall is very eye-catching, next to the English word Gorgeous. The combination of East and West has no sense of disobedience.

Gorgeous, whether it's a bar or a clubhouse, it's unknown, but it's safe to assume that this must be a glamorous place of sin.

The elevator opened, and there was a hole on this floor, a spacious and atmospheric hall, crystal chandeliers on the ceiling, every decoration presented an elegant European style, and soft blue beams of light hit each table, making each table look like a separate planet. A purple porcelain vase sits on the table, blending in appropriately with its surroundings.

On the east side of the hall, a woman in an evening dress is elegantly playing Chopin's "Fantasia Improvisation", although only her side face can be seen, but the woman's temperament and figure can be discerned.

There were several couples of men and women sitting at a few tables, wearing dresses, whispering, and some looking at each other ambiguously.

Yuan Zheng chose a table and beckoned us to sit down.

"Three classic beef Western dishes", before the waiter was on the menu, he ordered, and looked at us again, "Brother drink red or champagne?" ”

I told Yang Chenjun not to drink bars.

"If you don't drink it, you can't say it, we'll go up and drink it later," Yuan Zheng said to the waiter, "Let's serve three cups of fresh orange juice first." ”

The waiter bowed and said politely, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I wait a moment." ”

After the waiter left, I asked Yuan Zheng, "This is your secret base?" ”

"One, how is it, the environment is okay, right?"

"Yes, it's the first time I've been to a place like this."

Yuan Zheng glanced at the woman who played the piano and said: "As long as you are willing to pay money, this woman is the same thing under the crotch, don't look at her pretending to be like a fairy daughter Qing Gao here, screaming more than anything else in bed." ”

Yang Chenjun interrupted and asked, "How much does it cost for us to eat?" ”

Yuan Zheng said: "What are you worried about, today's eating, drinking and entertainment are all wrapped up in my brother, it is difficult to cut off one of your kidneys to cover our meal expenses." ”

Soon, the dishes came up. A piece of beef and a lobster sit on a delicate plate, and some mixes and vegetables are neatly arranged next to them. The food looks delicious, with a golden liquid that makes people salivate.

Yuan Zheng cut a small piece of beef and put it in his mouth, closed his eyes and chewed, and let out a very enjoyable voice in his mouth: "The best Kobe beef, plus the world's top ingredients, from the hands of a French special chef, this taste is ...... In your Sichuan dialect, it's a good description. ”

I said in Sichuan dialect: "Ba Shi is miserable!" ”

"Yes, Ba Shi is miserable." He also repeated it in Sichuanese, and then slowly enjoyed the meal on his plate.

I like to look at the hole-punched jeans of fashion people with the eyes of a beggar, the meat of this beef and lobster is indeed delicious, but my taste buds are dull, and I don't find the difference between this and one or two hundred yuan of civilian Western food.

After eating, Yuan Zheng said, "It's time to get to the point." ”

Afterwards, the waitress ushered us to a large private room on the second floor, which was also luxuriously decorated, with large oil paintings hanging on both sides of the corridor depicting naked girls with plump breasts and fat buttocks, which at this moment were nothing more than sexual innuendo and sexual provocation.

Every inch of the wall and every inch of the floor is extremely elegant, without the frivolous and cheap feeling of mass-selling KTV.

The room is furnished with a 65-inch high-definition color TV, luxurious Danish imported crown stereo, and an oversized soft bed and a bath, in which you can swim without any problem.

The water in the pool is steaming, and the heat is around the colorful Nordic-style curtains, which looks extravagant and ****.

Before we could sit down, beer, champagne and wine had already been brought in, and the waiters here were all women, wearing low-cut kimonos, revealing their white hemispheres, without heavy makeup, all tall and fresh.

When the wine is put and the wine is arranged, they all kneel on the ground in a uniform kneeling posture without raising their heads.

I was uncomfortable, and when I just wanted them to stand up, Yuan Zheng, who was lying on the leather sofa on his back with ease, said: "I just like the kneeling service here, this is to treat customers as God, and I really feel like an emperor, haha." ”

Although Yang Chenjun is called a monk by us, this guy is not a real monk, and he is still 108,000 miles away from seeing through the purity of the six roots of red dust, staring at a few beautiful waiters dumbfounded.

"Monk, are you so good? I'll come up for dinner later. Yuan Zheng was quite proud.

Yang Chenjun's voice was like a mosquito: "No, I just want them to stand up." ”

"Pretend to be a **, we don't need to pretend here, Junjun."

After the waiter set the wine, he retreated with Yuan Zheng's consent. Then, a fifty or sixty-year-old aunt and nurse came into the house, who looked like Mama Rong.

I thought to myself, ****, Yuan Zheng likes to play role-playing, and he doesn't have such a heavy taste.

I whispered to Yuan Zheng: "Isn't this ****** the fat Mama Rong of Daming Lake that year, you kid has a really strong taste." ”

Yuan Zheng laughed and did not answer.

I saw that the nurse and aunt bowed to Yuan Zheng with a smile and handed him a wad of paper, and I leaned over to see that it was a physical examination report.

Yuan Zheng flipped through it casually and changed the physical examination report to the nurse aunt.

He leaned over and whispered to me: "You ****** think too much, this is the nurse aunt of the top physical examination center in Beijing, and she is a real nurse." The women we play with next have all been strictly screened and can't be sick, you know? This is called service first, the magic weapon of the 21st century! ”

It turns out that there are still such plays, and today I have seen it.

After a while, a row of black women came in.

Yes, they can only be described as "black", they are wearing uniform black evening dresses, black high heels, exposing slender and white thighs, their height is about 175cm, they don't seem to see any difference in appearance, their facial features are exquisite, beautiful, sexy, and charming, like a beautiful robot corps cloned from a mother in a science fiction film.