The rain was falling on the windowsill as if to "shhhh Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

The campus was quieter under the cover of night, and the wind squeezed in through the crack in the classroom door, making the half-dropped portrait of Marx on the wall rattle, and the old man's face was twisted into various shapes with the wind, as if he were making a face at me.

The corridors are silent, and the lights appear hazy and dim on rainy nights, making them especially suitable for haunting.

I studied late in the classroom, and everyone was gone, leaving the empty classroom deserted and miserable.

Bed bugs and moths constantly collide with fluorescent lamps, making a soft thumping sound.

I fell into deep thought, the moths that put out the fire know how to live towards the light, let alone humans.

BJ draws us in like a magnet and the city is our fluorescent lamp.

Once, I watched the movie "Burning Years" with Geng Hao and Lu Zejun, and there was a line in it: "If a person lives according to his heart, he will either become a madman or a legend." ”

I said to them, "Are you all ready to live according to your heart?" "They all know what I'm talking about.

Geng Hao said: "BJ has the best art school, the most famous masters, and the largest art circle, and I must go there to see it." ”

"I want to apply for BJ's School of Mines to learn about clean energy technology, and I hope my children can breathe better air," Lu said. I am my purest thought. ”

For me, BJ has a group of thinkers and media people that I have admired for a long time, and a group of intellectual people with ambition and ideals, I grew up reading their books when I was a teenager, and when I grow up, I will inevitably follow their footsteps to defend the dignity of life.

Our ideas are simple and clear, and there are no distractions.

Applying for BJ's school to meet Yin Deji's house is a promise we made after drinking blood wine when we were evil children, and blood wine can't be drunk in vain. With ideals, motivation is endless.

I was thinking about it, some moths crashed and fell on my books, the act of fighting fires always has a deep meaning, who knows if we will be like these little insects in ten years, knocked unconscious on the ideal road.

I heard a delicate voice coming from the door: "You didn't leave either?" ”

When I looked up, it was the beautiful woman in the next class next door that Yu Yue said was interesting to me.

I only know that this girl's name is Jie, and I had a brief conversation with him at the class party. I often see her mixed up with the pile of scum in the school.

On my birthday, she gave me an envelope to open in a place where no one was.

I went to the toilet and opened it, damn it, Lao Tzu was startled, it contained a condom and a note, which read: "Tonight at 19:30, the north gate of the cafeteria." ”

In a lush forest outside the north gate of the cafeteria, there are a flock of mandarin ducks, and Yu Yue told me that he likes to go there most when he fools around with the girls.

I smiled, feeling like I and Jie were living on two planets. Without even thinking about it, he threw the envelope down the toilet.

From then on, when I met her in the corridor, I deliberately avoided it, and she looked at me with very complaining eyes every time, as if questioning.

That night, Jieping was dressed up in a fancy way, and the fragrance was so fragrant that he could smell her perfume three or four meters away from him. The thin slings obviously couldn't hold her prematurely developed body.

I glanced at her and said "hmm".

Jie said, "I don't know how to do a math problem, can you help me explain it?" ”

I looked at her expression, which I don't know if it was slightly aggrieved or teasing, and my heart pounded like a fawn.

Lonely men and widows review their homework late at night, and the plot is beautiful, but I believe in the admonition and self-control in my heart.

After thinking about it again, maybe people really don't know how to do the questions, but I think too much. He said, "Yes." ”

She smiled, walked in, sat down next to me, and said in a commanding tone, "Take out the math books." ”

I did.

Jie casually flipped the page, pointed to a question on it, and said, "Tell me about this question." ”

It was the first time I was so close to a girl, I could almost feel the breath of her breath and heartbeat, and my hands trembled involuntarily, and I was so drunk by the fragrance of her body.

I didn't know what I was talking about, and I didn't dare to look at her, but I knew that she didn't listen to me at all, but kept looking at me with her head propped up, and after a while she said faintly, "You're so beautiful." ”

I smiled awkwardly.

Zhang Ailing wrote about this scene in "Lust and Caution", Mr. Yi and Wang Jiazhi were secretly Chen Cang on the mahjong table, and as soon as he sat down, he hugged his arm, and one elbow was against the outer edge of her fattest southern hemisphere......

She could clearly feel my face burning and breathing heavily.

The moral code that he had set for himself since childhood, the will to always maintain a clean spirit and flesh, suddenly cracked and tended to collapse.

I tried to control it, but everything was like a speeding car on the highway, and if you pressed the brakes slightly, the car would rush out of the fence and crash and die.

I don't know what to do, where is the precepts, the morals, and my high soul?

I waited in a state of helplessness, panic, longing, and confusion...... I began to travel as if I were looking like I was wandering, eliminating distractions in my mind.

I think of F4, I think of our commitments, I think of BJ.

"Everyone, young, you must have the courage to this world, you can't when you're old." This is what we said to Yoon Deok-gi before he entered the ticket gate when he took Yoon Deok-gi to BJ at the train station.

Then he stretched out his middle finger in front of us, looked up to the sky and let out a long howl, and said, "Wait for you in BJ, brother will explore the road first." ”

The security guard thought he had just run out of a psychiatric hospital and was going to come and get him back. We said it was okay and joked among friends.

Yin Deji asked us when we would arrive at BJ in the QQ group all day long.

We said it's going to be soon.

There are so many cloudy days in SC that it makes people moldy, and the sun doesn't show its face a few times a year. The so-called "Shu dog barking day", the Wang Xing people who live in SC can't stand it, and they feel strange when they see the sun come out, and they all bark at the sun.

Summer has finally arrived, there is more light and heat, and the hot and humid air is full of restlessness.

There are garbage domestic dramas on TV, and the cheap special effects for five cents are miserable.

Jay Chou's songs are forever floating on the streets, and heavy calluses are already heard in my ears.

Killing Matt in the Internet café sweats and plays "Legend" and CS.

The college entrance examination is imminent. I still have love letters and little things from girls in my drawer, and I still don't care about them.

Geng Hao and Brother Mei snatched my love letters every time, and deliberately read them aloud. Whenever he encountered this kind of thing, Fu Wenxin didn't say a word and didn't talk to me for a week.

Come to think of it, I didn't seem to do anything to be sorry for her.

Most of the time, we live a very happy life, and as soon as we get out of school, we call Lu Zejun to go to Mei Ge's cold noodle shop to eat cold noodles.

"The great painters, great writers, great scientists, and great beauties of the future," Mei Gelou hugged Fu Wenxin and gloriously announced to her parents, "They have all come to our shop, our shop will definitely be popular!" ”

Once, Geng Hao picked up Lu Zejun's math textbook, looked at the thrilling mathematical symbols in it, and said, "Bianzi, I really want to cut open your skull to see what's inside." ”

Lu Zehuan sometimes looks like a child, he said: "You liberal arts students don't understand the logic of our science people, what you see in this bowl of cold noodles is taste and culture, and what we see are molecules and elements." Test you, which weighs a kilogram of iron or a pound of cotton? ”

Brother Mei raised his hand with lightning speed and replied: "The same weight!" A mouthful full of chili peppers sprayed on the table.

Fu Wen was attentive and heard the moth: "Of course it's a kilogram of iron." I will test you: Once upon a time there was a chicken, and there was a cat on the left side of the chicken, and there was a dog on the right, and there was a rabbit in front of it, and what was behind the chicken? ”

Brother Mei was excited again, and immediately replied: "Chicken tail!" ”

Lu Zehuan pretended to be a scientific person thinking: "The twelve zodiac signs rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, rooster, dog, pig, they are in turn with the twelve earth branches, ugly, yin, mao, chen, si, wu, wei, shen, unitary, xu, hai, I said that the dog's words are definitely not right, this question is not so simple, it should be paired with the dog's '戌'." ”

Geng Hao's brother pretended to be cold, and said coldly: "I don't know, don't answer." ”

I said, "Behind the chicken, of course, is 'from'." ”

"If the answer is correct, add ten points to Xiaoyu." Fu Wenxin smiled and applauded.

At this time, Geng Hao's enthusiasm was mobilized, and he asked a question: "Why do you have to hide in the basement during the air raid?" ”

Everyone's answers were rejected by him one by one, and finally he announced the answer: "It is convenient for future people to archaeology." ”

This joke is so fucking cold.

Sometimes, we go to the Internet café to play CS, Fu Wenxin doesn't, he cheers for Brother Mei on the side, and occasionally covers Brother Mei's mouth to prevent her from making a sound.

Because this girl is too easily excited, she jumps east and west with the AWP, and when she is excited, she can't help but scream, and the sound of the whole female Vitas shook the owner of the Internet café and the people next to her, and some of them trembled, and the mouse was thrown on the ground and broken.

We cherish that time and know it won't be for long. If you want to go out and see another world, you must overcome the hurdle of the college entrance examination.

……

The scent of cleanliness changed me back.

The serious and demanding philosopher Immanuel Kant once said that if a married man **, he has broken the contract of mutual happiness with marriage.

If this philosopher were allowed to rule the world, it would be a nightmare for all couples with uncoordinated sex lives. Our Confucius disagreed, and said shyly: Food, sex, too. But there is no way to solve it, so you can play freely.

Metaphysical idealism and metaphysical realism are clearly distinguished by Kant and Confucius. The philosophy of Confucius is a kind of realist philosophy, which avoids the world on the other side of people, and sounds like the philosophy of Lao Wang next door, which is very down-to-earth and refreshing.

In a man's life, there is always such a woman who breaks into his fantasy world, whether she is the star on the poster or the class flower next door, or the little fang in the village, when you entertain yourself, she comes quietly, acting as a star and a moral law, guiding herself in the too illusory realm that seems to be true and false.

Eventually, she will take root in her spiritual homeland, abstracted into an image that fulfills all her fantasies.

Before the college entrance examination, during my youthful rebellious period, that woman was clean.