When everything returned to the feeling he had when he first met, Ane miraculously felt that all the sadness and confusion of the past would disappear immediately. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

And to return to the first meeting, the only thing you can do is to merge with your mother's heart - your mother will always be by your side, no matter how far away.

He finally understood the real reason why he had to be accompanied by his mother when he went to a barber shop in junior high school.

At that time, everyone looked at him as weird.

Now, he finally knows: it is the subconscious that drives him to show an external overdependence after the excessive separation of the mind from his mother.

All abnormalities are just appearances, but they are actually balancing the most real normality in his heart.

Even his little "fetish" and "sadness caused by excessive nostalgia" can be found here.

Then...... When his mother prepared a small schoolbag for him and put on his newly bought yellow shirt and new leather shoes, he was so elated that he jumped to school.

However, when he was slow to respond to the teacher's question, he vaguely remembered the teacher saying to him in a very disdainful tone: "You say that you are so stupid, is it useful to dress like this?" ”

At that moment, all the eyes of his classmates focused on him, and their eyes seemed to be laughing at him: "I was so naïve and happy just now, but now I am making a fool......

His hands unconsciously tugged at the corners of his clothes, and his toes seemed to be curling and crumbling inside his new leather shoes.

With tears in his eyes, his lips stubbornly pursed, he looked down at the new clothes and shoes he had just worn today, and his vision gradually began to blur, as if he had lost his temporary luster.

In that environment, where only reading is high, his happiness in wearing new clothes seems so insignificant.

Perhaps between him and his mother's heart, a kind of subtle crack or "amnesia" has long been caused by a chance accident.

He couldn't resist succumbing to the teacher's words: "Are you so stupid, is it useful to dress like this?" "This humility.

And betrayed his mother's words: "Xiao Nei, you see how beautiful my mother bought me new clothes, and I wear it!" "This pleasure.

From then on, he didn't even dare to try to wear new clothes.

Every time his mother bought new clothes, he had to deliberately crumple them before he dared to put them on.

And from this he has lost his curiosity and exploration of many new things, and only indulges in old things.

When the old things fade away, he will be infinitely sad.

But now, his memories are starting to return, if that childhood scene repeats itself......

"Chen Nei, you are so stupid, is it useful to dress like this?"

Ane suddenly developed a strong instinctive resistance, and no longer succumbed to the ridicule of his teachers and classmates.

The teacher's caustic words and the hysterical ridicule of his classmates were diluted and hazy by his ears.

He only focused on the curiosity and freshness that his new clothes and shoes brought him.

The expression is still so innocent and happy.

School was no longer a barrier to his soul, and he finally passed it unimpeded.

When I got home, my parents had a few more whiteheads.

Sadness naturally welled up in my heart.

However, it was only a fleeting moment.

Because of his only conversation with his mother, he pushed away the seemingly filial and irrefutable pessimistic description of outsiders imprinted in his mind: "Mom and Dad are old, youth is gone, there is not much time left, I have to spend more time with them, I want to spend more time with them......"

All that remains is the only memory of the conversation with my mother at that time - how hazy, wonderful, and safe the outside world was; There are no clear demarcations and definitions; Wonderfulness and joy are continuous, continuous, without sudden interruptions and disappearances.

What "what does it look like when a person reaches the age of XX; What will happen when you reach the age of XX"...... There is no such definition.

The first time he had this kind of definition of numbers, it was because of his covert compromise and subservience to his math teacher.

He only had to locate the frame of reference to his mother. No matter how old your parents are, there will never be the sadness of no longer being young. Because the age difference between him and his mother is eternally fixed. No matter how long it has passed, I still have the beauty of my childhood.

The sadness for my parents' gray hair is no longer there, but my father's authority is still there.

"Xiao Nei, you came back just in time. A former colleague of mine, who now works in the administrative agency, promised to help you find a job. When the call comes, you go to talk to him. ”

Dad said with a little eagerness and excitement, faintly with a sense of oppression.

Ane's authority over his father always seemed irresistible, like a mountain.

All attempts to rebel against patriarchal authority have failed.

This is very similar to the authority of the teacher.

When he recalled: it was his father who used his authority to force him to enter the classroom for the first time.

You will understand that the two (the authority of the father and the teacher) are basically the same.

So, it still comes back to the only conversation with my mom.

The only time he succeeded in rebelling against his father, and he left no trace.

There is only a distant and hazy memory.

But when that memory didn't become clearer, he couldn't completely shake off his father's authority.

"Okay, I'll try." Ane said indifferently. (To be continued.) )