On a deeper level, the meaning of "breathing" is actually just that: the mother's breath. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Through all the analysis and deconstruction, all doubts and fears are eliminated, and the patient can have an unprecedented state of calm.

At this time, his heart was so calm that he could only hear his own "breathing".

This breathing sound was the most familiar "mother's breathing" sound he heard in his mother's arms as a baby, and it was the first and strongest sense of security.

People who have not undergone psychoanalysis generally do not understand this reasoning.

They don't understand that the breath between mother and child is connected.

However, that doesn't mean that this connected breath doesn't exist in them.

Because this only exists in most people's subconscious.

There is an example that you may be able to see from this: this connection between mother and child breathing.

There is a boy who, during an argument with his mother, inadvertently triggers his mother's heartbreak.

The mother's attitude at the beginning was very resolute, without a trace of sadness.

However, when this sad point was triggered, she couldn't help but cry.

Say, "I was in the same breath with you then, but now I say I don't care enough about you......"

When she said this, her sadness could not be suppressed. And repeated it a few times.

But after a while, the mood calmed down and relieved a lot.

There is also an introverted and depressed boy who has slept in a separate room with his parents for many years.

One night, by chance, he slept in the same room with his parents. I inexplicably felt an aura of long-lost and déjà vu.

This breath gave him a sense of incomparable security.

It seems that all the timidity, depression, and sentimentality that I usually have have come to naught in that moment.

It can be seen that mother and child are physically and mentally connected.

The sound of his mother's breathing evolved into his own breathing.

Hearing the sound of his own breathing, all the bad cues and words around him will weaken a lot.

The mind has reached an unprecedented and familiar sense of security, no longer anxious and manic.

This can be called a state of "micro-sleep" and can happen at any moment.

At this time, he will suddenly feel a wonderful feeling that he has not felt for a long time:

Lying in the warm and familiar embrace of my mother, hazy, wonderful, and safe.

I began to be curious about everything in the outside world again.

(This curiosity, to be specific, is neither repulsive nor excessively intimate with the outside world.) Just like dealing with a strong paternality, if it is too repulsive, it is actually a deliberate evasion, which is equivalent to too much attention or intimacy. ）

And not like before: preconceived.

Full of fear and anxiety about the unknown.

This hazy feeling is a qualitative breakthrough, and it is possible to truly rely on one's own instinct to eliminate all bad hints from the outside world, without relying on the guidance of psychoanalysts.

These bad hints are: mental illness is prone to recurrence and cannot be cured; Mental illness is caused by physical defects and is irreversible; You've had mental illness and you've always had an indelible shadow over chromium......

None of these hints seemed to him before that they were not fatal and hopeless.

Now, all his mental energy is concentrated on his mother, restoring the original pure and unpolluted heart.

His normal psychological mechanism of resisting the hints of the outside world began to revive.

Now when someone speaks of these bad words, he is as hazy and curious as if he were listening to her tell other people's stories in his mother's arms; I feel like I have nothing to do with myself.

He also downplayed the infinite money, fame and fortune in the outside world a lot, as if it was someone else's business.

In the past, he would have miniaturized himself to the extreme because of the great success and achievements of others, and lost the motivation to move forward.

In its place is the most primitive kind of self-confidence that sweeps everything and thinks that it can do anything.

That is, the kind of child who exaggerates his own ability, even if he sees a snake, he is not aware of the danger, and he dares to catch it; Even if it is a few feet high, it is not afraid of falling.

Although it is exaggerated, this exaggerated ability is the most primitive motivation for success and self-confidence in the future.

He will no longer imitate his "idol", which leads to all kinds of suggestive symptoms.

He will take pleasure in the "uniqueness" that he inherited from his mother's appearance, and no longer take pleasure in being like a star.

I don't always have to refer to others before doing something. (Referencing others is a typical external cue.)

Rather, rely on instinctive impulses to judge and live.

In fact, this hazy sense of security and happiness was indeed ubiquitous in his childhood.

He was sometimes able to play in the mud all day and have fun with it, without needing anything in return.

It's a creative, unconditional joy.

It is different from the happiness of compromising after illness that depends on a specific occasion or a specific person (such as a festive time).

Although he also enjoyed the joy of compromise, after the excitement, there was endless loss.

Because his ego has been lost in that bustling environment.

Creative joy is a very different story.

It is the instinct to be able to create happiness in oneself at any time and in any place.

It's like being able to breathe all the time.

Because this creative joy is unconditional and non-utilitarian, it can be easily obtained.

Even on festive occasions when everyone celebrates, he will not lose himself and "go with the flow".

You can also create your own happiness in addition to "happiness is completely created by others, and you only need to enjoy it".

It's like S once enjoyed the fun of picking up firecrackers and setting off firecrackers on a festive occasion when a relative moved to a new house.

is not like him in the future, for every part of the celebration, everyone, will not miss; Excessive interaction.

And to do so, you have to compromise with them and give them all the power to make happiness.

In this way, there will not be endless loneliness and emptiness left after the excitement.

Of course, this over-reliance on the festive environment also has its peculiarities.

Similar to the above example of S's man's house breaking into a chaotic crowd, in the distant past, S was also strongly frightened on a festive occasion, which attracted the attention of many people and destroyed his most original happiness; And this pleasure is transferred extremely secretly to those who pay attention to him.

So it leads to his compromise and dependence on the people in the festivities.

It is precisely because of the loss of this unconditional primordial happiness. (e.g. playing with mud and setting off firecrackers...... ）

It is also the result of physical and mental separation from the mother.

Transfer the most original happiness of getting along with your mother to the people in the outside world.

And after losing this unconditional happy memory, he also became excessively suffering from gains and losses.

Back to the topic.

This hazy sense of security and happiness can also resist all seemingly irresistible sadness.

Just like an aunt from his childhood, she was very fond of him.

He also enjoyed his love very much.

But when his aunt died, he was not overly saddened.

It's just a kind of ignorance.

Because this hazy sense of security is something he was born with, and he receives it from his parents.

It is also the most primitive kind of maternal love.

So, when those who love Him leave Him.

He wasn't overly sad.

Because he believes that security is always there, and love is always there.

Like a question:

If your loved one or loved one has left you forever.

How can you show your love for her?

Perhaps some people will think that grief is the greatest love for a loved one.

And the more intense this grief, the more love for her is expressed.

This is not unreasonable.

However, another answer may make more sense.

He will be sad, but not so sad that he will be depressed and heartbroken.

Because he believed that his relatives loved him.

This kind of love is eternal and unchanging, and it will not be because he did not die of a sad heart that he will not love him.

If you are sad to death, it will interrupt the continuation of this love.

His love for his loved ones was thus interrupted.

There are many people with hidden psychological diseases, and after the death of a loved one, depression is often induced.

Even if his loved ones have not left him, but he is sick, he will be extremely frightened and dare not face it.

In fact, this can be seen from the experience of the S man in the above example.

It was a chaotic crowd that suddenly broke into his home, and his instinctive resistance mechanism was unexpectedly suppressed.

caused him to suddenly feel the danger of his mother, and because of the suppression of instinct, this danger was infinitely magnified.

It can also be boldly speculated that some of those people at that time may have made some "tsk" surprises.

This kind of surprise is a manifestation of exaggeration.

Later in life, he was indeed afraid to hear such exaggerations.

He will feel unusually resistant.

Because of the exaggerated hints of danger and suffering, he did not dare to face the hurt and pain of his parents.

But now, he has regained a hazy sense of security, and the outside world will gradually fade away, leaving only his conversation with his mother. Naturally, his pain and sorrow were minimized to the maximum.

So, when a sentimental person faces the death of a loved one.

His grief and despair are beyond words.

Any comfort would pale in comparison, and even time would not allow him to let go.

The only way to do that is to silence him.

Utter silence, unable to hear any sighs and comforts from outsiders.

Receiving too much sympathy and pity has the same negative effect as "aggression" from the outside world.

Because the reason why there is too much sympathy is because outsiders also hurt him a lot.

It's like a very fierce person who always bullies an honest person.

When one day, the murderer suddenly becomes a little gentler towards the honest man, and this kindness may be exaggerated by the honest man.

……

only left the hazy memory of the outside world when his mother gave birth to him.

Only then will he not be affected by the sad hints of the outside world.

He doesn't want too much sympathy, he doesn't want the outside world to exaggerate his grief, he just needs the innocent and ignorant curiosity of his childhood. He believes that this is a "game" that his mother has done with him, and he is still full of love.

Maintain this natural curiosity and ignorance, and deal with all sadness.

Children don't understand much about the concept of death.

This is also true in healthy people.

The subconscious of healthy people is able to face a lot of great sadness precisely because they have inherited this curiosity and ignorance from some children.

But they don't know it.

Therefore, Sigmund Freud said: people either do not believe in death, or subconsciously believe that they are not dead.

That's why.

This hazy memory is the most primitive and pure self, which is not adhered to by any suggestion.

Therefore, the patient, prompted by psychoanalysis, constantly recalls.

Every time he recalls a past event, he feels extremely happy.

Because he finally reawakened the joy of those past events.

This could not have been done during his illness.

Because he thinks those pleasures are "dead".

But now he was able to resurrect "them" again.

The only regret is that they can't bring "them" into the real life of the moment.

Because reality is already a matter of things.

This regret may plunge them into a new depression.

This is actually the mechanism of "recurrence" and "hollowness" that I mentioned earlier.

In addition, there are many people who suddenly feel extremely frightened in the process of getting to know themselves deeply.

Because he was afraid that he would turn into another strange and unknown personality.

They are afraid that after getting deeper into themselves, they will upend some of the beliefs that have been formed over the years.

In fact, it is because he has not broken through the last barrier and has not recalled the first moment.

At that time, he didn't believe much at all, and he lived a happier life.

Therefore, when I recall the hazy memories of the most original source, there is no such regret and fear.

It's as if everything is fulfilling, safe, and familiar.

The scenes that once seemed to him to be extremely happy, but later regretted to be lost, were just a flash in his continuous, dynamic memory.

And not like it used to be - the joy just stops there.

It's like a college student who is about to graduate and is extremely melancholy when he faces the scene of his classmates being separated.

The more I reminisce about my happy college days, the more sad I feel. It seems like there's no going back.

But when he recalls the hazy moments of his childhood when he first met his mother, he realizes that college was just a slice of his happiness, like just leaving the house, meeting some friends who had fun, and then returning home to feel that familiar feeling. Rather than bonding too tightly with these friends, so that they are separated like life and death.

To put it more generally, a sentimental person, facing the separation of classmates who have been classmates for several years, is sad and melancholy.

This sadness is almost insurmountable and can even trigger depression.

However, what is not known is that if at this time, imagine that your mother is by your side.

When he looked at the separated classmates, it was as if he had just begun to know each other, so curious and wonderful, and the sadness no longer existed.

Even "depression", which symbolizes the end of happiness, is just a flowing fragment of his memory.

Happiness doesn't stop with graduation, it moves on.

Because in that hazy moment, his curiosity and exploration are the strongest, and the happiness of the outside world is fluid and continuous.

If you have a strong logical and concatenated ability, you can come to the conclusion that because the symptoms are all unusually harsh happiness, if you convert conditional happiness into unconditional happiness, this pathological happiness will be truly forgotten and never appear again.

In short: symptoms are forgotten forever.

Because unconditional happiness is always easy to forget.

This is explained in the first chapter of the concept that "the repressed are often satisfied".