What is lost will not come back!

History corresponds to the past, not the present......

After Yan Ye finished bathing, Makoto also walked into the bathroom. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 info Of course, Makoto is not because of the cold! Although it was also a little cold after coming into contact with Yan Ye, this was not the main reason. Makoto just felt a little fidgety, that's all!

Take off your clothes and place them away. Turn on the shower and turn the water output to the maximum. Turn your back and bathe your entire back body under the shower.

Give up thinking, give up consciousness! Close your eyes and all you see is darkness! Not white, but dark, why? I don't know, I don't understand, but I understand!

What the eye sees is only an illusion reflected by light, but it is only an illusion - something that does not actually exist.

But understanding is just understanding! I can't parse it, I can't understand it, I don't even know why I understand it...... Maybe it's just Makoto's fantasy, and he's the only one who sees the darkness...... But, even so, even if it was really just a fantasy, he still believed that only this darkness was the only reality, and that he had the only place to be.

Who is he?

He is Makoto Ito.

Why Makoto Ito?

When he was born, he was given the name "Makoto", and then changed his surname.

What is the meaning of the name "Makoto Ito"?

It's just a title, a mark, but it's what binds him all his life.

Want to ditch the name "Makoto Ito"?

I thought before, but now it doesn't matter.

So, what is he after?

What he is looking for is to disappear completely!

Is it realized?

Nonsense......

Why?

……

Why?

……

Why?

Why...... That's because......

That day, he had a dream!

That day, he saw it in a dream!

A girl stands under a huge withered cherry tree. She held a black carnation in the palm of her hand and placed it on her chest. She stared ahead, at the end of the road that stretched from under the cherry trees to the bottom of the hillside.

She looked forward to it, gazing affectionately into the distance; She waited, silently watching the end of the road; Day after day, each time she would come very early, before the dawn of late autumn; Each time she would take the black carnation that seemed to never fade; She would stand in the same place every time, and each time she waited for an hour or two; She would come twice a day, in the morning until it was completely light, and in the afternoon until the sky was completely dark.

That's it, she comes every day, and I see it every day! In the blink of an eye, three months passed.

The girl repeated the same action for three months, and after three months she never came again. Is it disgusted? Or are you dead?

Neither, that's not coming?

Neither is it! She just doesn't need to come!

That's all......

There is still a week left until the end of three months.

The girl came earlier than ever before, but too sooner!

At this time, the moon in the sky had not yet disappeared, and the girl began to wait and wait as stupidly as ever. She was still holding the black carnation, but the petals were mutilated. Although she is careful to protect her, the cold wind always likes to play pranks on her, and will always be willful every time she passes. Perhaps black carnations are too rare, and the cold wind is attracted to them and wants to dye themselves with its scent.

This is not malicious!

However, for girls, it must be extremely cruel!

As the petals were taken away one by one, the already obvious sadness on the girl's face became heavier and heavier. Gradually, her attention turned from the end of the distant road to the black carnation in her hand.

The girl cared for it with all her heart, guarding it from the cold wind, because the number of its petals had been imperceptibly reduced to single digits while concentrating on looking into the distance.

It's been to the point where it's a pity that I can't see the flower anymore.,It's almost a state where only the skeleton exists.。

"You're here every day! I've been paying attention to you for a long time! ”

In the past, Makoto just silently watched quietly from the side, but today he accosted her!

"I'm waiting for someone!"

The girl did not look up at Makoto, but stared closely at the broken black carnation in her palm.

"He didn't come!"

Makoto didn't mind this, because he knew very well the weight of the flower in her heart at this time.

What is lost - the most important thing.

I knew the meaning of this sentence very well, so Makoto could understand her mood at this moment.

"Hmmm......"

The girl is lost, and subconsciously she has given up. I gave up waiting, and I gave up expecting...... And the reason why she still came was not because she still had any hope in her heart, but because she had already formed a habit, or she was just still strong.

It's just that the girl herself didn't realize it! Anyway, those are already ******** for her. It's just that......

"Maybe it's something urgent, I'll be late!"

Even if you are aware of it, you will not admit it, because you are unwilling to accept it! didn't want to face this undesirable result, so escape and self-deception became her only choice.

"You're holding a carnation in your hand! Are you doing something wrong? ”

That kind of person often doesn't accept honest persuasion, so Makoto doesn't intend to say anything.

"I failed to keep what was agreed upon! For him, it can be regarded as a betrayal! He hates betrayers the most...... Maybe you'll be resented! It's hard to get forgiveness, so I can understand that he's testing me! It's okay, I'll stick with it! (like this black carnation)"

I always feel a little pitiful!

However, Makoto doesn't sympathize with her! Because he also hates traitors.

Although in fact traitors betray because there are some compelling reasons to be sympathetic, Makoto will not forgive you in any case, traitor! Even if it is a small thing, for a traitor, the betrayal is always a fact!

Turning one's back on what one holds on to, betraying unquestionable trust, and never forgiving even if it is a last resort.

Even if you die, it doesn't change anything.

"That's right...... But why wait here? You see, maybe he didn't even know you were waiting for him here! ”

This is not the truth of the heart! He said that on purpose......

"I used to agree with him that if I wanted to apologize, I would take the black carnation to the place where we met for the first time."

Does the betrayer who fails to keep the promise expect the betrayed person to keep the promise? Stop joking, and be willful in moderation!

"Then you'd better just go back! He won't come, but if you wait here, you'll never see him. Go back, go to him, if you can find him, maybe there will be a chance...... If you have a secret, maybe he will forgive you......"

But Makoto can't be a bad guy! For such things, Makoto always intervenes. Not out of kindness, of course, but just his own willfulness. If you don't do anything, you will always mind, and you can't rest assured! So, no matter what, he can't be the 2 bad guy that the world defines as 2.

Makoto left there, leaving the girl, and saw another huge withered cherry tree on the inside of the hillside. Turning around to the front, he saw a boy in a black coat. He leaned against the cherry tree and stared boredly at the end of the line.

There is a winding mountain road that leads to the bottom of the cherry trees.

Looking at this scene, Makoto couldn't help but laugh funny, and he smiled very emptyly, because he didn't feel the slightest joy. After laughing, Makoto ignores the boy's presence and walks straight to the mountain road.

"Hey, you're coming from the hillside over there!"

The boy walked over and accosted Makoto.

"Something?"

Makoto stopped and looked at him calmly.

"Well, I just wanted to ask if you saw a girl standing under the cherry tree over there when you came over? She should be holding a black carnation, which is very recognizable. ”

The boy's eyes flashed with confusion.

"Is there a black carnation in this world?"

Makoto didn't answer the boy's question, he just silently walked down the hill.

Although he doesn't want to hurt others, he sincerely likes to see others hurt, so it is natural that he can't be a good person in the definition of the world.

But Makoto believes in fate! But it is not a providential encounter or reunion, but a heart-to-heart connection. Not by the hands of others, but by one's own sense to win over the so-called fate that has been fixed.

Makoto left, away from the hillside.

Since then, he has never seen the two girls standing under the two cherry trees not far from each other who want to apologize and the boy who is waiting to accept the apology.

Wake up from the dream and the story is over!

The sound of rushing water sounded in my ears, crisp and intense. What I saw was still the eternal darkness, and the nose was breathing a faint fragrance, which was the scent of shower gel. I felt two soft touches on my chest and a heat that was enough to burn my brain.

Although it was the first time I had experienced it myself, I understood what that fire could destroy the will in an instant, and that I was not interested in and could not arouse the desire for "sex".

Something that didn't exist suddenly came into being?

No. It's just the first time I found out that I have one!

There is **** in the spirit, and there is a reaction in the body. As for why it came so suddenly, you can get the right answer even if you don't open your eyes.

What I have is a male body, and the only thing that can stimulate a male body is a woman's body. Now that I'm the only one in the house, it's easy to see the identity of this woman who inspired my male instincts.

"What do you do?"

Some people may think that it is better to open their eyes and confirm at this time, but for those who think like this, I can only say that you are really simple enough. At least I wouldn't do that, even if I saw something, I wouldn't care, and I wouldn't have any shame or guilt to run away from myself.

I could have seen enough, but I didn't!

-- Because I'm in a dangerous state right now.

I am a casual person who does not suppress my desires, and I do not use boring rules and reason to curb desires when they arise, but "go with the flow and do what I want".

So, I'm very dangerous right now!

"People have desires, so they have their pleasures, their pleasures, and sex is harmonious!" I don't know who said it, and I don't know where it came from. But that doesn't matter, what matters is the hidden meaning of the sentence.

I realized it and reminded myself of it as a motto. Maybe it's because of this that I'm the way I am now, and I'm not very interested in women. Whether it is appearance, figure, temperament, or connotation; For me, there is not much difference between men and women, just people.

So, I don't give "special treatment" to women.

It doesn't matter if I'm not a gentleman, I don't know how to pity the fragrance and cherish the jade, anyway, I will always subconsciously ignore them when there are women.

Because from that sentence, I learned that "a woman is a terrible creature".

Isn't there a very famous quote?

"From the age of mythology, it is the woman who makes a man fall."

How early is the age of mythology? I don't know, I wouldn't have been able to do it anyway.

It's too far! In short, if we let this slightly ignited flame continue to grow, it will be over. And, there are two other reasons!

One is that I care a lot about the dream that just comes to mind.

That's what I've done in my dreams before, and I waited under that cherry tree for three months until the night I had that dream in my dreams that night...... I haven't dreamed of that place since!

And in real life, I left that place two years ago. There, too, there is a girl who resembles the cherry blossom girl.

That's a good girl I don't deserve!

She is also a betrayer who forgave her, but is no longer worthy of me......

I left that place two years ago and never went back. Probably, I won't go back in this life! I had lost so much, so much in that place, that I couldn't go back......

The other is that the current speech is very abnormal.

Even after some careful mental transformation, Yan Ye has become much more cheerful, but the girl named Gui Yan Ye will definitely not be able to bathe naked with a man.

Why do I know, you ask?

Because the leaves are now attached to my body, the feeling of comfort that comes from the contact between the skin is the best proof of everything.

Even if I am the irreplaceable favorite person in Yanye's heart, this is still too difficult for "Guiyanye".

So, there must be something driving her to force herself. And when you think about what's happened recently, it's clear!

Thinking of this, the pleasure instantly becomes imperceptible!

The flame of desire also turned black, and to be honest, I was angry, angry with Yan Ye, angry with myself, and angry with the person who instilled the concept of "atonement" in Yan Ye.

I wish I could kill him or her right away.

- So, I'm in danger right now.

"I just want to take a bath with Mako-kun......"

The voice is beautiful, the words are affectionate and sincere, but they are false.

"So, let's wash it together!"

Even so, it is more appropriate to go with the flow than to expose or resist. That's where the calculations come in!

"Hmmm......"

It sounded a little disappointed in his voice, but it was also accompanied by a faint sense of relief.

Maybe it was because he was excited for a while, and then in the process of taking a bath, Yan Ye didn't have any other radical behavior.

"Then, I'll help Chengjun wipe his back!"

Of course, if it's just this level, I can't help it, so I have to accept it all!

"Chengjun, let's sleep together tonight, okay?"

I was also tired from watching Yan Ye, who was wearing loose pajamas that didn't fit well, with an innocent smile and saying such terrible words.

"If Yan Ye has no opinion, let's sleep together!"

"Hmmm......"

"Good night, Makoto-kun......"

Sleeping on the inside of the bed, Yan Ye fell asleep after a while. In this dark space, where I am usually alone, I looked at Yan Ye, who was already asleep, and looked at the serene face on her pink and soft face, and I smiled faintly.

"Good night, Yanye." I whispered to myself.

The dark space fell silent. The night did not stop, and outside the black space, there were still lights flickering, they illuminated the earth and the night sky. Even if there are no clouds, you can't see the stars anymore!

Is it a tragedy? Or is it comedy? Or is it just a pointless farce?

Who knows?

Even if you do, what can you do......

Helpless, pointless!

-- It's just sentimentality, it's just a sigh.

- It's just me, but it's just me.