Li Xuan didn't remember how he got out of the palace gate and how he got home.

By the time he was fully conscious, he had been sitting in the Chenxi Pavilion for a long time.

The room, which had been vacant for a long time, was unusually cold, and the orange candle flame shone out a thick layer of dust on the furnishings.

The slender fingers caressed the cold soft couch, and the cold seemed to penetrate into his heart through the skin on his hands, making him shiver.

…… She used to like to read books on the couch by the window, and sometimes she fell asleep when she looked at it, and her soft body curled up like a poor child.

Every time he saw her, he was afraid that she would sleep uncomfortably, so he couldn't help but carry her to bed. But as soon as the hand touches her body, the little girl will wake up as soon as possible.

………………

"Hmm...... You're coming......" She lazily wrapped her arms around his neck and muttered to bury her face in his arms.

"Don't you go to bed when you're sleepy? The windows are not closed, and I am not afraid of catching a cold. He frowned and reproached solemnly.

"People didn't want to sleep...... she pouted, her sweet and soft voice with the laziness of waking up, like an explanation and more like coquettishness, which made people's hearts ripple.

"Why do you wake up every time I hug you?" He couldn't help but wonder.

"Because ......" Xi Yan's little face deliberately rubbed against his chest, sniffing like a puppy, and his big bright eyes narrowed with a smile, "I smell you." ”

"Huh?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Really......" she pursed her lips and smiled evilly, a pair of shallow pear vortices looming on her cheeks, "it's very sweet." ”

………………

I remember that it was not long after he came back from Chengde, and once he rarely had a free time to come to see her at noon, and saw that Xiyan was still asleep on the big pillow as usual. In the dream, she was very uneasy, her brows were frowned, and beads of sweat kept oozing from her forehead, "Don't ...... Help me...... Li Xuan...... Help me......" She burst into tears, tears falling from her closed eyes, and her whole body trembled. Only then did he realize that the thin autumn clothes on Xiyan's body were already soaked, and he was busy patting her and whispering.

She opened her eyes in a daze, but the tears fell even more fiercely, and she threw herself into his arms and cried bitterly, "Li Xuan...... Woo...... Li Xuan......"

This was one of the few times she took the initiative to get close to her in those days, and he was very useful at the time, so he took her to his lap to comfort her, and asked her what dreams she had to be frightened like this.

She just kept crying...... Clutching his shirt, he couldn't cry. It took a long, long time before she said that she dreamed that she was playing by the pool, but she stumbled and fell into the pool.

"Fool, you can be scared like this in a dream. Where did the wild girl who was not afraid of the sky and the earth run away? He jokingly helped her brush her sweat-soaked hair, and when he saw that she was still frightened, he hugged her and said softly, "Don't be afraid, I will protect you with me." I won't let that happen. Don't be afraid of anything, you know? ”

She stared at a pair of big watery eyes, as if she wanted to say something, but her lips trembled, but she didn't say anything, just choked back tears and nodded vigorously, "With you by my side...... You're going to protect me......" She barely pulled out a smile, her hand still shaking violently as she grasped him, "you...... will protect my ......"

Later, after some time, he found that she was really afraid of water, and he didn't even dare to approach. He thought she was letting the nightmare, and although he didn't think so, he was just left to her.

…… She must have been very scared and aggrieved at that time, but he didn't notice anything!

Now that I think about it, his sworn words are really funny and hypocritical! How could he have protected her in her time of need? Who ever cared for her when she was sad? What he cares about is whether she belongs to him completely, and what he cares about is whether he can enjoy her beauty anytime and anywhere!

Yun Heng is right, he is a complete bastard. keeps saying that he loves her and likes her, but he never really loves her and takes care of her for a moment, and even many times, the harm she suffers is caused by him!

But no matter what he did, she would always forgive him...... Perhaps, it was because he knew that no matter what he did, she would forgive unconditionally in the end, that he was more and more emboldened to let her down!

He has been forcing her to marry him from the time she marries him...... No, maybe earlier, since she was a little girl, he was pushing her. Forced her to be obedient, forced her to be obedient, and forced her to become what he was satisfied with. Now, he's finally driven her to death...... He obviously wanted to be good to her, why did he become what he is today?

It seemed that he weighed a thousand pounds on his body, as if he could no longer bear it, and he finally squatted on the ground and cried muffled.

"Sunset...... Am I wrong...... You forgive me...... I don't really know...... I didn't mean to...... Am I wrong...... I know it's wrong......"

He was like a child who had made a mistake, helpless and desperate.

That's the punishment.

He lost her, and God punished him to bear this heart-cone-crushing pain alone for the rest of his life, and he could never be redeemed.

Because from now on, there will never be such a person who will forgive him unreservedly.

Never again.

………………

On the second day of the Lunar New Year, when many people were still immersed in sweet dreams, the dust hermitage had ushered in its first pilgrim.

"Donor, He used to live in this meditation room." The middle-aged nun who brought him said so. Xiyan didn't reveal her true identity when she lived in the nunnery, because she didn't know that the decadent and haggard rich son in front of her was actually the famous Prince Rui, but he was just a negative man who repented.

"Master Lao." He looked around blankly, barely smiling.

"I heard Master Jixuan say, you have been taking care of you since Xiyan went up the mountain, thank you here, Master."

The nun hurriedly folded her hands and recited "Amitabha", and then said, "The donor's words are serious. The poor nun is only responsible for delivering three meals a day to the benefactor, and it is really impossible to take care of it. ”

He walked to the side of the desk and carefully picked up a thick pile of Buddhist scriptures on it, and the beautiful handwriting of the sunset came into view.

"These are ......"

"He copied the scriptures in his room every day and prayed for the blessings of the children in his family."

He nodded subconsciously and flipped through the pages—almost every piece of paper had ink smudged off......

When he closed his eyes, he seemed to be able to see the thin figure lying on the desk, weeping and putting pen to paper.

"When she left, our baby was not yet a full moon...... She...... I must be worried about it in my heart...... "Even if I had already anticipated the one I might see, even though my heart had already been crushed by the truth over and over again, it was still like a knife piercing deep into his heart at this time, making him almost suffocate in pain."

☆☆☆☆

Thank you to all the pros who have supported, 17 ~ haha, the wish has been overfulfilled, thank you! (To be continued.) )