I had a terrible headache and wanted to throw up, so I kept smoking. （.）

Mom's call came again.

"Son, you must not do such a thing, we have never had such a person in our family, think about it, you are going to divorce, where is your father's face? You just don't think about the two of us, you don't think about Lin Xi? What do you let her do in the future? Don't do anything stupid. "Mom was crying, and I could hear her despair, but also a little hysterical.

"I know, Mom!" I tried to be as calm as possible, I didn't want to talk to her too much on the phone so late, "I'll go and ask her to reconcile, you can rest assured, let's talk about it tomorrow, it's not convenient now." ”

"Oh! Then you'll call back tomorrow! Don't do anything stupid! ”

"I see, you should rest early, don't think too much."

Closing the phone, I began to reflect on myself, did I go too far, how did things develop like this?

The next day, the rain had stopped, and the weather was good. The head was chaotic, I sent a text message to Lin Xi, I want to go to her, I want to talk to her, talk seriously.

Drive to Xinhuang.

I drove very slowly, I didn't eat breakfast in the morning, my stomach was empty, plus I smoked too much, my stomach was very uncomfortable, I couldn't help it, I stopped and found a small restaurant to eat something, I didn't want to throw myself on the road because of stomach discomfort.

After waiting for a long time, she didn't reply, maybe she hadn't seen it yet, she didn't have the habit of carrying a phone with her. Forget it, let's talk about when you reply, I'm gone anyway.

Actually, she doesn't have to reply to me and I know that she doesn't want to see me.

I don't want to look at the scenery on the road, and I don't want to enjoy the music in the car.

In addition to Lin Xi's desperate appearance in my mind, it is my mother's crying expression, these expressions will appear in my mind like a slide, and I can't erase them, this is not what I want, but their expressions still appear in my mind in turn.

Mom's call came, which I expected.

"Where have you been?" Mom asked.

"I'm out of town! I'll be back tomorrow! I said.

"Do you have another woman?" Mom guessed right, but she was also alert.

"No, I'm under a lot of pressure, you don't have to worry about me, I'm fine, I'll just tell you when I get home." I'm lying, but that last sentence is an admission. I want to go home.

"That's okay, you bring Lin Xi back, let's make it clear what is going on!"

"She's not going!" I say.

"Then don't come back!" Mom was angry. "I haven't dared to tell your dad yet! What do you want me to tell him? I won't say more, you can count it yourself! It's so hard that one day you regret that you don't have a place to cry. Mom's words were obviously on Lin Xi's side, which was normal.

My mother hung up angrily and didn't give me a chance to speak at all.

I smiled to myself a little helplessly, knowing that this was going to be the case, so I wasn't surprised at all.

The sun has not yet set, there are many people in the square to relax and enjoy the cool, the swaying willow in the wind and the sparkling river surface constitute a perfect picture, Lin Xi and I strolled left and right on the brick-paved embankment, from time to time there are children of all sizes playing and passing by us.

Sitting on the embankment, I said, "I've been busy lately. ”

"It's fine." She said coldly.

I gave her the ring, and she threw it into her bag without looking: "Thank you." ”

"I'm sorry." I say.

"Does it work?" She looked at me and asked.

I didn't dare to look her in the eye, looking at the water that was quietly flowing, looking at the water, flowing past, would it be possible to return? I said, "I know you're sad. ”

"What about your promise to me?" She asked again.

I slapped myself hard, snapped, my face buzzed, I didn't look at her expression, I hated myself. When Saori was on the verge of collapse, she anesthetized herself with drugs, and when I was on the verge of collapse, I anesthetized myself with other women. I hated myself for not being able to jump to the level of their family, and I hated myself for not being able to make them look up.

Next, the two of them sat silently, and the sunset gradually stretched our backs. I don't know how long it took, but she got up, didn't say a word, and left. I didn't speak, leaned my head against the railing, and quietly looked at the water. After a while, I looked back and watched her disappear around the corner. Walking and walking, we lost each other.

Driving alone on the road, the sky gradually darkened, and it was already bright outside. Many large trucks began to hit the road, slowly blocking the road ahead.

Slow down, I thought to myself. For a long time, whenever I closed my eyes, a large truck flashed towards me, and I couldn't stop the car or move the direction, and I was hit head-on and shattered.

It took me less than half an hour to drive, and I walked for 5 hours.

By the time I got back to the hotel, I was exhausted, my feet were numb, and it was a bit difficult to go upstairs. I threw myself heavily on the bed, not wanting to move at all.

As soon as the phone rang, I panicked and hurriedly answered it, thinking it was hers. It's Mom's.

"Why don't you answer the phone? Have you eaten? "No matter what, the mother always cares about her son's body the most, even if the son still makes her angry.

"I've eaten it. The phone is vibrating, I don't know. "I lied.

"You're done?"

"What's the matter?" I didn't react for a moment. "I didn't deal with anything, I just went out for a walk, and I felt uncomfortable."

"Don't lie to me, I know you must have other women." Mom was very sure of what she thought. "Did you make it clear to her?"

"What did I tell her?" I still want to quibble. "Don't worry about it, I'll tell you another day, I just came back, I'm very tired!"

"I'll go to you tomorrow." Mom's tone was stern.

"You're coming?" Mom doesn't like to live in a building, she is bored. "Don't come, it's inconvenient for you to live in a building, I'll go back tomorrow."

"Then you come back to me tomorrow, don't make any more troubles for me!"

"Got it. You go to bed early. ”

I closed the phone and lay on the couch like a dead man, not wanting to move. My mother is not at ease with me, so she came to supervise me, and also to save my relationship with the witch. I think so.

Maybe I was too tired and fell asleep without taking anything off.

Love is like saving money in the bank, being able to appreciate the good in each other, just like supplementing income; Tolerating each other's shortcomings is moderation in spending. The so-called eternal love is from red face love to white hair, from flower blossom love to flower remnant. (by Francis?) Bacon)

LIJ, while busy with production, while the organizational structure is changing, the work functions of each department are changing, the work handover is very much, and the work of collecting the number of jù is also constantly carried out, I guide the managers of each department to design the report, except for the financial and administrative personnel, other departments are required to submit daily reports. After less than two months of operation, the following reflects that everyone is busy making reports all day and night, and there is no time to go to the scene.

Weekly production summary meeting, after I presided over a few times, I handed over to Yan Ning to preside, I just audited, I hope to train the department manager can be in the absence of the general manager to lead the coordination of a project, I plan to train a group of people, in the future I will leave the company for ten days, half a month or even a month, the enterprise can still run freely. When Yan Ning first started hosting, I felt unsatisfactory, but he tried not to express his position and added at the end. At the meeting, it is usually the department that summarizes the work of the previous week, performance, etc., picks out a few key products, points out which departments cause production abnormalities and what reasons, and then the heads of each department review their own problems, corrective and preventive measures. I prohibit a department from blaming other departments before reviewing its own problems, so slowly the meeting forms a pattern, everyone first reviews their own problems and puts forward corrective and preventive measures, and then puts forward opinions and suggestions to other departments, basically in a controllable and rational state, and then the supervisor takes minutes of the meeting for the next follow-up. After three or four times of presiding, Yan Ning was basically able to control the process of the meeting, and controlled the meeting time to about an hour.

I also participate in the departmental meeting of each department once a month, listen to the situation of each department, middle managers are often in the high-level meeting, will be some unfavorable to their own information filtered out, often prone to good news but not bad news, in this information asymmetry situation, the general manager according to one-sided information, it is easy to make wrong decisions, so, from time to time to listen to the situation of the grassroots meeting of the following departments, understand the scene, can make the high-level decision-making more accurate, more effective implementation.

At the meeting every month, the key work of the month is discussed, and the work plan is discharged, and each department is divided into departmental work plans according to these work plans. The work plan is classified according to the four categories of important and urgent, important and non-urgent, urgent and unimportant, and unimportant and not urgent, and the work will be carried out. Each department fills in the "Weekly Work Report" every week, reports it at the weekly administrative meeting, and the general manager supervises and tracks.

For example, when the output value reaches 1 million, you can recruit people according to the demand of 1.2 million, and constantly pull the output value to rise, instead of patting your head and recruiting as much as you want.

I arranged for Nanlin to convene a supplier meeting, one is to cheer up the suppliers, and the other is to listen to the opinions of the suppliers to facilitate internal improvement. Employees enthusiastically put forward opinions and suggestions to the general manager's mailbox, and can receive two or three letters a week, which is reasonable and feasible, and I arrange the responsible department to implement it, and timely request the administrative and human resources department to post a notice for rewards. Some employees write pragmatic, and some employees talk exaggeratedly, "teaching" the company's CEO how to do a good job in the marketing department, how to do a good job in human resources, how to do a good job in production, etc.

Some employees reported that last year, many employees of the year-end bonus has not been issued, some of the company's promises have not been fulfilled, I arranged the administrative human resources department and the finance department to check, found that this is the case, the original cashier stuck and dragged on, I ordered the administrative human resources department and the finance department to implement it immediately.

Employees feel that their words have gradually become more important to the company, and their motivation seems to have increased, and from the monthly meeting in the first week of each month, I found that the employees' eyes seem to be brighter, which is a kind of hope in the eyes.

In the middle of the factory, someone opened a restaurant at the gate of the factory, and I immediately arranged for the general affairs staff to negotiate with them about the management of the meal, and after several negotiations, it was finally negotiated, and thankfully, the management personnel finally had a relatively clean and hygienic dining environment.

You don't have to worry anymore, we're done.

Finally on Saturday morning, I received a text message from Lin Xi.

'I'll go see you, I'll leave at once, please give me this opportunity.' I spoke in a tone that bordered on pleading.

'No, I don't. Three short words, three cold words, mixed with disappointment and abandonment of me.

"Don't be like this, Lin Xi, now is the time when you need to be taken care of the most, no matter what, you are experiencing this pain for me, I can't just let you bear it alone." So, please don't reject me. Okay? ’

I have a lot to say, but my phone is too slow to type.

'I'm not going to see you, you're still busy.' I'm feeling bad and need a break, please don't bother me. Thank you'

Also, please don't come to me again in the future, and don't contact me again. Then she threw them at again.

I don't know how to comfort or explain, a qiē words seem so pale and powerless, she will definitely not answer my call, maybe annoyed that she will just turn off the phone or change this phone number, then I will no longer be able to contact her. Even if I waited for her every day, it would be useless.

I'm sorry I hurt you, but I don't know how to compensate you, and even though it's all nonsense for now, I'm going to say, I'm sorry. Although these words are weak and useless, they are much better than ignoring them.

There is no news of her anymore.

I know it's her disappointment in me, it's that I don't have the courage to take responsibility, that I didn't stand up when it's time to stand up, and that a woman who has hurt herself is left alone to face the mistakes of two people and the bitter fruit I planted.

A woman who has been hurt by a man, does not quarrel with you, does not deal with you, does not blackmail you, does not cry with you, perhaps, she does not deliberately ask me to bear the condemnation of her conscience, but responds to your mistakes with a silent bearing and fearless acceptance, which can make men wake up more than any way.

It should be said that I was extremely lost, and the feeling of distress cannot be described, and hurting Lin Xi is the last thing I want. But when she came out that day, she didn't want to see me, no matter how much I pleaded.

Divorce.

This word lingers in my mind every day, and I am not very busy at this time, and I have a lot of time to be idle. I started typing these two words into the search engine a lot. Baidu knows that what appears in it is basically about property division, child ownership, and so on. None of this is what I want.

I'm looking for why people got divorced. I hung quietly on QQ, silently looking at Lin Huaxi's avatar, which was always gray. Not a little angry.

It seems that I have become accustomed to staring at that avatar silently like this, and it seems that I have to go through such a process every night.

I knew she wouldn't come because I hurt her so badly. Unexpectedly, she got on.

I hurriedly sent it: Witch, have you been busy with work lately?

She replied automatically: there was something to talk about on the phone, and she didn't have time to type.

I sent it again: Oh.

Auto reply: If there is something to talk about on the phone, there is no time to type.

I picked up the phone at the hotel and called, but I didn't expect her to answer, and as soon as she answered me, I expressed my concern: "I'm busy at work, right?" Have you eaten? ”

"That's my business, what does it have to do with you?" Her voice changed back to cold. "Let's not contact each other in the future, okay?"

"Lin Xi, me."

"I think we'd better stop here, what's the point of going on?" She interrupted what I was about to say.

"Lin Xi, can you give me some time?"

"No need, we're divorced!"

"Lin Xi give me a chance?" I shouted.

"If you still take into account my feelings, we are strangers, maybe it will be better."

"Nope! Xi'er, I can't do this, you have to give me a chance, I told you that I am working hard. ”

"Alright, that's it, I'm inconvenient now, bye!" She couldn't tell the difference, and hung up the phone in a hurry.

I was stunned and didn't react for a long time. When Lin Xi, who was originally gentle and lovely, seemed to become so indifferent in an instant, I couldn't accept it.

Because I love her, do I do something to be sorry for her? Or am I just a whore who deserves to be thundered? This question tormented me for a long time, and no matter how much I tried to find the answer, it was always the same answer: I should die.

In the years that followed, Lin Xi rarely replied to my text messages.

Maybe she's deliberately avoiding my questioning, or maybe she's really going to decide to leave me. I don't dare to disturb her too much, of course, this is just a reason I gave myself, I believe that Lin Xi loves me, she is waiting for me to contact her, even if I go to say something she likes to hear but doesn't believe.

Aren't all men and women in love like that?

During a meal, I accidentally threw away my phone.

The mobile phone that the witch gave me, I have been using it for several years, and I feel sorry for the phone, and I feel sorry for the text messages sent to me by the witch above, those text messages full of our romance. I felt bad for a long time because of this.

I'm also a detail-oriented person, and I've become my treasure for witch things, including chat logs, text messages, and things that she inadvertently left me when we met that didn't matter to her or to anyone.

I had to buy my phone again.

One afternoon, I was sitting on the company couch after drinking.

I wasn't drunk, I just had an urge to call her every time I was drunk, but I couldn't tell if it was inconvenient for her to get there now, so I might as well text her.

"Can I talk to you?" I thought about it for a long time before I sent it to her phone, which I remembered in my heart.

I waited for a long time, but I didn't wait for her reply. Is this time to take a nap? Or are you busy at work? Or just ignore it?

I thought so.

According to my understanding of witches, as long as she sees such content, she will definitely enter her brain to ponder it.

Before someone else gives you a reply, you don't have any clues to guess the other person's mind.

I checked to make sure I was right, and if it's convenient for you, I'd like to talk to you, 'I'm not giving up, but I don't know what role to play in order to continue.'

I'm busy, I'll talk about it later if I have time. ’

From her words, she seems to have decided to meet and face it, and you can feel a trace of her unease, a trace of simplicity, and a trace of fearlessness. Looking forward to her text messages, looking forward to being careful. Her text message arrived, and I didn't know how to reply to her. What should I tell her?

What role should you play?

It's been a long wait again, and I can't imagine what the witch is doing, maybe this counts as a stage victory for her? Or, what is she going to explain at length in a half-considerate, half-serious language?

I've been waiting.

It was getting dark, most of the staff had left, and the occasional car passed me. The red brake lights were reflected in my face. There were already a lot of cigarette butts piled up next to the car door, and although our text communication was only a few words, it felt like a century. The weather is overcast and it will be another rainy day.

I'm a person who doesn't have many hobbies for fun, going to work, going home, going home, going to work. It's just two points and one line.

But since the experience of being a witch busy with work, I don't like to go home, but I don't have much place to go. What I often do is stay in the car, in the car downstairs of the company, in the car downstairs of my own house.

Idle.

Until the evening, the rain began to fall, and there was no waiting for her text message. Maybe it's because she's inconvenient, maybe she's doing something else. That's all I can think of.

'Shall we reconcile? I'm going crazy. I typed those words on my phone, but I didn't send them out. Perhaps, I was afraid, afraid that after this sentence was issued, the witch would really cut us off like this. I couldn't call her either, because I promised her that I couldn't just call her.

But what I want to know most is what the witch really thinks. I can only say that I am really a useless man who wants to be responsible for the family, but I can't provoke it. I want to have the love of my dreams, but I don't have the courage to be a complete white-eyed wolf. I also know very well that there are only two paths in front of me, either divorce, a complete showdown with the witch, and start another unknown life. Or, ask the witches back, and then listen to them, go to work in Xinhuang's eight classics, obey Lin Batian's dispatch, and live a life like a dog, and the result is that you must hurt one or a group of people.

I was holding a cigarette, I don't know if it was smoky or heartache, and in the car, I couldn't hold back my tears.

'Can I call you?' The next morning, I texted her.

'Yes, but not right now,' I was a little nervous when I received those words.

She still ignored me, so I decided to go to the city where she grew up and lived, the city where her mother had been waiting for Lin Batian for N years. Because I'm going crazy.