I didn't knock on the door, Xiaoyan didn't lock the door, and I twisted the handle lightly and walked into the bedroom not so calmly.

She sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the window, but she couldn't see it at all, her look was a look of struggle, maybe she had felt me, but at this moment she was not angry, nor did she speak, I didn't speak, or sat calmly beside her, quietly feeling the other party's breathing, as if time stopped at this moment, at this time there is only her in my world, but I don't know if there is me in Xiaoyan's world?

Xiaoyan pursed her mouth, her lips were a little dry, and her hair was falling messily, which seemed to show her emotions at this time, and the calm environment made her vividly reflected.

"Xiaoyan, are you looking forward to seeing the rising sun?"

I suddenly said such an idiotic inquiry.

"Nonsense."

Xiaoyan finally spoke, but it was just two words, I expressed helplessness, but I also smiled and said to her: "Since you want to see the rising sun, you have to have confidence, think that you can see it tomorrow, Xiaoyan, come back." ”

"What's back? What do you want to say? Shameless guy. ”

Xiaoyan still maintained the same posture and said to me, I am used to light words, for me it is good for her to sit and talk to me like this.

"I've heard such good things too many times, it's all nonsense, if I could see it, I would have seen it a long time ago, and now the doctors have given up, and only said one sentence unless there is a miracle, but the word miracle is such a luxury for me, don't continue to say such things to me, I don't want to hear you talk anymore, you let me sit quietly for a while, I want to be quiet."

Xiaoyan said indifferently and gave me an eviction order, but I sat on the bed as if I hadn't heard it, sat next to her, and still said solemnly to her: "As long as there is hope, there will be miracles, Xiaoyan, I will meet the miracle with you, promise me, let me be by your side." ”

However, my words fell, Xiaoyan did not answer, still indifferent, empty eyes, just sat blankly.

"Xiaoyan, no matter what you do or say, I just have no skin and no face, I have missed your most difficult time, and now I won't miss it, if you continue to miss it, it will be a mistake."

Xiaoyan didn't speak, but I continued, hoping that my moving mouth could shake Xiaoyan's heart.

And so I kept talking, and talking, as if I didn't have time to stop.

Ten minutes passed like this, Xiaoyan still didn't speak, she still sat like this, and her indifferent appearance finally changed.

"What about Qilei?"

Xiaoyan said to me sharply, she still didn't tilt her head, and still maintained the same movement.

"I'll talk to her."

I paused for a moment, then immediately replied.

"How so?"

Xiaoyan asked.

"Explain my thoughts clearly, but I won't explain your situation clearly, so let her think I'm a negative person."

I replied firmly.

"You're going to be a ruthless person, are you worth it for me?"

Xiaoyan still asked me questions, she was very serious, I could see that she was shaken, and this was an opportunity for me.

"Don't ask me if I'm worth it, now I just want to accompany you, if you lose your eyes, then I'll be your eyes, let you see the morning sun and the sunset, let you see Cangshan and Erhai Lake, let you see everything beautiful in this world."

I reached out and grabbed her palm as I said this, and I could feel her trembling frequency, and I could even hear her heartbeat.

"It's not worth it, I'm not worth it, you're not worth it."

Xiaoyan shook her head violently and said to me, emotionally unstable, and I have never been stable, I chose her, and I hurt her, this seems to be something I have to go through and have to do.

"Whether it's worth it or not, only I know, Xiaoyan, you are looking forward to seeing the newborn sun tomorrow with hope."

I held her hand tightly and said firmly and gently.

Xiaoyan stopped talking, fell silent again, and I gently hugged her, and we looked at the world outside the window together, the blue sky, although the colors were a little different, although the scene was too different, but it was enough.

I stayed in Dali for another two days, I didn't return to Hangzhou at the promised time, Qilei's call came naturally, this time I was ready to confess to her, I didn't want to tell her face to face, I cheated, I don't love her anymore, that is a torture for her, and it is also torture for me.

"Qilei, I'll tell you something."

I tried to keep my emotions as calm as possible, but it was still not so calm, and my hands holding the phone were shaking fiercely.

"What's the matter? Go ahead. ”

Qilei asked me suspiciously.

"Qilei I'll say I'm sorry to you in advance, I don't ask you to forgive me, because I'm just a bastard."

I tried to make my tone as indifferent as possible, although I was apologizing, my tone was still indifferent, which was a deliberate effect.

"Jiafeng, what's wrong with you, why did you suddenly say these words to me? Did you do something? Why did you say sorry to me? ”

Qilei continued to ask me.

Instead of answering immediately, I paused for a moment, and of course my moment was a few seconds bigger.

"Qilei, let's get a divorce."

I simply said seven words, and then sentenced Qilei to death, I knew I was cruel, but I had no choice.

I was standing on the shore of Erhai Lake, looking at the starry sky, the Chinese New Year was about to begin, but I said divorce to Qilei, which was a kind of unnatural injury and torture for everyone.

The wind is blowing fiercely, I feel very cold, as if I am about to freeze to death, in fact, I look down on myself, sometimes I feel that I walk into this beautiful lake calmly, and then as a beautiful home, how good, but such an idea is just to think about it, I have to do a lot of things, the only thing to do now is to stay by Xiaoyan's side, let her feel warm, let her smile, let her return to her original self, this is what I need to do.

My words fell, and there was no sound on the other side, and I knew that Qilei couldn't stand it.

"Jiafeng, what did you say? You said you want to divorce me? Did I hear it wrong? Or are you kidding me? ”

Qilei asked me in a trembling tone, even if she is not sure now, but I already feel her heartache, it is really a painful time for me at this time, I even want to slap myself, but even so, it is useless, I have hurt Qilei who loves me deeply after all.

"You heard me right, and I'm not kidding, I'm sorry."

I said in a low tone, in fact, I almost couldn't hear what I was saying, it was all a kind of great irony.

"What? You're going to divorce me? Jiafeng why? What's going on? I don't believe you're going to divorce me. ”

Qilei asked me loudly, all the words she said were interrogative sentences, and when I listened to every interrogative sentence of hers, my heart trembled for a moment, and every moment was an abnormal pain.

"It's true, don't ask me why I want to divorce, I don't need a reason for my clutch, Xiaoyan, calm down, don't get too angry, you just think it's a dream, and now the dream is waking up after all, and I'm not going to be a bastard after all, I'm sorry."

I was still muttering, I couldn't hear it myself, and the last excuse was raised in a higher tone.

"It's impossible, Jiafeng is April Fool's Day today, right? You're kidding me, aren't you? Haha, you're just kidding me. ”

Qilei didn't speak for a while, and then suddenly said to me, very loudly, very excitedly.

"Qilei, I won't go back for a while, Tom Nini will leave it to my parents, and I will call them."

I said quickly, and then hung up the phone, I knew that I couldn't communicate with Qilei myself, especially the current Qilei, but after I hung up, I was already in tears, looking at Erhai, which was not so calm, and muttering, "Qilei is sorry, sorry Qilei." ”

As soon as my words fell, the mobile phone ringtone was excited, I looked at the phone and found that Qilei called, I didn't answer, but turned off the phone directly, and then raised my leg and walked into the lake, the cold lake water instantly spread to my calf, and then I didn't continue to walk, but was eroded by the cold wind on my calf, this may be a punishment for me, right?

The phone is turned off.,I'm temporarily derailed from this world.,In fact, I'm also worried about what Qilei will do.,But I don't have the courage to face her.,I hurt her ruthlessly and unjustly.,Even if I did it for a reason.,But the so-called reason is just an excuse.。

"Liang Jiafeng, you are such a bastard, a ruthless and unrighteous bastard."

I stood in the middle of the Erhai Lake, shouting loudly at the towering Cangshan Mountain, angrily screaming and cursing myself.

The wind was blowing more fiercely, raging against my cheeks and hair, and the water seemed colder, as if it were about to freeze me.

I was crying, aching, tormenting in the lake, maybe I was a killer in my feelings.

I stood in the Erhai Lake for more than ten minutes, and finally left the Erhai Lake under the strange gaze of many tourists, I returned to the sea view house I rented, maybe I will settle here during this time, get up every day to see the rising sun, every evening to see the sunset, I wait for Xiaoyan to watch the double sun with me.

When I returned to the room with a sea view, I lay down on the bed, but I couldn't sleep anymore, no matter how I slept I was, my mind was full of pictures about Qilei, her alluring appearance, her painful look, her laughing face, her childlike hobby, the happiness of staying by my side, but I cruelly killed this happiness.