Since I can't keep her, I can only use this kind of agitation, I still think that she will keep me when she hears that I am leaving, my subconscious still thinks that Xiaoyan still loves me, she can't, and will never be in love with me, she said to me, where you are, I will be there, I will accompany you, so I firmly believe that she will not leave me.

"There is no relationship between us anymore, so I don't want to listen to your affairs, and I have no obligation to listen, you go, I don't want to make a big fuss."

Xiaoyan listened to me, said to me very hurriedly, and then turned around and left, and I stood motionless, staring blankly at Xiaoyan's departing back, at this time she was so ruthless, so indifferent, and I was so heartbroken, so desperate.

I took it for granted that I thought that I would directly extinguish my hope, and my heart that I had never wanted to give up fell into the abyss in an instant, and I really felt that I and Xiaoyan were impossible at this moment, Xiaoyan really didn't love me anymore, this is not a fake, but a fact that it really can't be true anymore.

Watching Xiaoyan walk into the villa and close the closed double doors again, her figure disappeared from my eyes, her hair was out of the control of the cold wind, my love may be the worst time in this life, Xiaoyan who loves me the most left me, gave up on me, and no longer chose to stick to our love, my legs were weak, I couldn't help but retreat, I couldn't believe it, I never dared to believe that Xiaoyan would be so ruthless.

But this kind of desperation has become a fact, I lack the fighting spirit to continue to stay here, I am afraid of such a moment, I don't want to stay here, I turn around and leave in a daze.

I couldn't see the people gathered outside the door, maybe they were looking at me with tinted glasses, but none of that mattered, the important thing was that I was out of love, I was really out of love.

I walked slowly to the gate like a walking corpse, opened the cold and rusty iron gate with trembling hands, the whole person was in a blurred situation, I don't know how I got out of the villa, I don't know how to get through the crowd, I don't know how I drove on the wide road, my head was confused, I didn't know anything, only one thing, Xiaoyan left me.

This time I didn't drive like crazy, but parked the car on a street that I was not familiar with, lit a cigarette in the cold compartment, smoked in a daze, maybe shrouded in smoke, I was a pleasure, the pain came too much, I couldn't guard against it.

I fell out of love on the first day of the new year, and the day before the new year, I kicked the woman who liked me into the fire pit, which is really a mockery, but also a punishment for my sin, in fact, I should think the opposite, first think about the day before the new year, and then think about the first day of the new year, so that it is clear.

When Xiaoyan said the last word to me, I held back my tears, walked out of the villa, walked through the crowd, got in the car, and endured it while driving along the way, but when I stopped the car and lit a cigarette, I couldn't bear it, the tears that had been hidden in my eyes surged out, I couldn't continue to smoke the cigarette in my mouth, I covered my face with one hand, choked in pain, crawled on the steering wheel with my front body, and cried loudly. The rushing love made the tears unbridled.

My love for Xiaoyan is very true and right, but I can't be wrong because I speak for other women and get angry with her, and this kind of love can't continue.

It's already pitch black in front of me, and the cannibalistic darkness is about to engulf me, and I don't know how to escape, maybe I can't escape, I just curled up in the dark corner and cried bitterly, Xiaoyan is important to me I cried to know, I secretly hated why I wanted to speak for Yu Xue and Li Qingshu, I~ Why are I angry with Xiaoyan because of the troubles in my heart.

Maybe I've taken it for granted that Xiaoyan is a trash can to deal with love, whenever I have something, I will think of Xiaoyan, I will think that Xiaoyan will tolerate me, and even take care of me, sometimes I am very vulnerable, but I didn't think that Xiaoyan has always been pretending to be strong, and her so-called strength is all for me, in fact, she is more fragile than me.

I cried because of this, I ran so badly, I was angry because of my own ignorance, and the air of sadness and anger had filled the cold carriage, and of course there was a strong smell of regret.

When I broke down, the tears didn't stop so easily, I mixed all my feelings into tears, this is not the first time I have felt this kind of pain of broken love, but I have never felt so painful and uncomfortable as today.

I don't know how long I cried at the wheel, but it was a long, long time, and then I don't remember anything.

When I straightened up from the steering wheel, I touched my aching head and looked out the window at the world, and found that it had darkened, and I cried and cried and fell asleep, perhaps because I was too tired.

Now that it's dark, my feelings are even more tormented, and instead of alleviating the pain from breaking down and crying, it is even more uncomfortable.

My eyes were a little hazy, I looked ahead, and saw that many homes had already sounded cannons, many people were traveling in groups, and the whole road was in a lively state, and such a lively atmosphere had filled the whole city.

A sleep did not make me forget Jì Xiaoyan's indifferent face and ruthless words, and I clenched my hands into fists except for sighing.

Now I don't even know where to go. Everyone else took their girlfriends home for the New Year, eating happily and happily with their families, setting off guns together, watching the Spring Festival Gala together, and playing big A together, I am really envious of these things, and the envy highlights my loneliness and loneliness.

I didn't dare to go home, I was afraid that my parents would say Xiaoyan, I didn't know how to face the anxious second elder, how could I tell the news that Xiaoyan and I broke up, how dare I look at their desperate faces, too much fear made me unable to launch the 2000 like an ice cellar, I could only curl up in the carriage cowardly, shaking my body, my hands clenched into fists, in such a night, although I was very irritable and painful, but I didn't want this night to pass quickly, I hope the hour hand can never catch up with the seconds, I hope that I will never see the dawn, Then I won't have the moment to hurt my parents, and I won't see their desperate faces.

Just when I was hiding in the car and falling silent, the phone rang suddenly, but I didn't want to pay attention to it, I didn't have to look to know that it was my anxious parents, so I didn't dare to answer, I would only continue to lie if I did, I felt that I couldn't make up lies at this time, I would only reveal my stuff.

I don't know if I should go back to my hometown, but now Xiaoyan has given up on me, I will hurt Yu Xue like that, Li Qingshu is not treated by his parents, I feel that there is no room to continue to stay in Hangzhou, this place does not belong to me anymore, even if it is very big here, there are a lot of people, but I am tired, really tired, when I completely lose Xiaoyan, this tired feeling is even stronger, this is not a simple body fatigue, but a tired heart, half a year of wandering, almost everywhere is torment, all kinds of things that make my egg ache have happened, On the first day of the Lunar New Year, he fell into such a fate.