She really should hate him, and she should not have anything to do with him.

They should have broken off with each other a few years ago, and it was he who insisted on being there and was reluctant to let go.

This feeling is like the person who should leave the scene when the story should come to an end, but he is still nostalgic for the prosperity of the story, reluctant to end gloomily, and stubbornly wants to extend the ending time.

even did something that he himself looked down on, not only causing her obstacles, but also cutting off their possible future friendships with his own hands.

Even if she chooses not to care about them, it is impossible to return to the beginning, she can't go back to the beginning without estrangement from him, he can't go back to the beginning, and the feelings she gave out can't be recovered.

Even if they didn't mention this past, even if she really couldn't care about it, he felt that he couldn't face that kind of self.

It's selfish, it's disgusting.

As long as he saw her, he remembered the two years he had imprisoned her by his side, but she believed him so much at that time, only that he had never thought about his clumsy mind for the sake of her condition.

He himself was embarrassed to think about these things now.

But if he was to choose again, he would still take her away.

Although two years are short, even a moment with her by his side can withstand his dull life.

He hated himself like that.

But as long as he sees her, his careful thoughts still can't help but pop up, he likes her so much, and he can't help but want to have it when he sees her again.

It's like he just wanted to take her to the United States for treatment, and he didn't have any other ideas. Even saw her enter the bathroom, and he planned to call Shen Muhan and ask him to come over and see Lin Shuang.

But he just hung up Bai Guyu's phone, and before he could call Shen Muhan, Lin Shuang came out of the bathroom, and he didn't have the time to think about calling Shen Muhan anymore.

Later, she asked him to go out with her, and then he told her about going to the United States, and saw that she was so depressed that he did not even agree to give it a try with him.

It's more like she's lost confidence, this trip to the United States is just a distraction for her, and she is so low that she asks not to let her family know.

He obviously knew her mood at that time, she must have thought that she would only be a drag here, and if she could be cured this time, everyone would be happy to be cured, and if she was gone, they would gradually forget about her for a few years, and when the news of her absence came back, they might not be so sad.

He also knew that she was just impulsive, as long as he persuaded her a little, she would be reluctant.

He knew her like that. He could see through whatever she was thinking. But that time, instead of comforting her or persuading her, he couldn't wait to take her away.

I'm afraid that she will regret not wanting to go with him when she calms down for a while.

Sure enough, she hesitated a little not long after she got on the plane with him, she had calmed down, and he saw her touching her phone very tangled. Pick it up and put it down.

She was visibly shaken.

At that time, he just had to give her a step down. Whatever she says, she'll dial the phone. Then follow Shen Muhan back.

Then nothing will happen after that.

She and Shen Muhan will not miss these two years, Shen Muhan will not lose her soul for two years, and her parents will not "send white-haired people to black-haired people". Her child will not be without motherly love for two years.

But he didn't.

Not only did he not even say something that he couldn't forgive himself for irritating her when he thought about it now, but he didn't know the specifics, only vaguely remembering that it was related to her condition and her pale face for a moment.

He poured salt into her wounds in order to keep her as cruel as she was, made her remember the pain, and then made up his mind to leave everything behind and go to the United States with him.

At that moment, he didn't think about what would happen to Shen Muhan, what would happen to Dad Lin, what would happen to Mother Lin, and what would happen to her children.

He was just crazy, selfishly, trying to take her.

He knew that he would have no reason to care about her this time, and there would always be Shen Muhan by her side, and he, an outsider, would never be able to get in for the rest of his life.

He didn't want much, he just wanted to spend some time with her.

No one else.

At that time, he was so impulsive, his heart was almost chaotic, his breathing was unsteady, his palms were a little sweaty, and there was only one thought in his heart, he couldn't let her go back, he couldn't let her go back.

To take her away.

Desperate to take her away.

Later, he did successfully bring her to the United States, no matter who the phone was, he didn't answer the phone and even turned off the phone, he was a little uneasy in his heart, but after all, selfish desire prevailed.

Maybe there was a selfish and despicable devil living in his heart, who would do whatever it took to keep her and use her trust to imprison her.

At this point, the generosity he had been pretending to be generous and pretending to be free and easy was finally completely shattered by himself, and he was selfish and shameful, pitiful and hateful in this unobtainable relationship.

He is not so open-minded, those "I am fortunate to lose my life" are all lies that he has to do.

He finally caused irreparable scars between her and him because of these selfishness, erasing the only beautiful past they had.

But why didn't he find out about these feelings earlier, if he found out earlier, he wouldn't have had to even tell her after Shen Muhan appeared, so he could only hide in his heart and pretend that there was no her there.

When did you first become aware of these terrible feelings?

It seemed that she and Shen Muhan went to the mountain to attend some temple fair, and he remembered that they hadn't really dated at that time.

That day was no coincidence at all.

It was not a coincidence that he braved the cold wind at night to wander around the bottom of the mountain, it was not a coincidence that he stopped because he was attracted by the excitement of the mountain, and he hurried over just after receiving a call from her.

He had been sitting on his motorcycle and looking at the top of the mountain.

It was dark and there was a cool breeze, and he was worried that something would happen to her.

Since they are just a game, not a real relationship, what if Shen Muhan doesn't send her back after the date is over?

He hesitated for a long time and went.

At that time, he didn't know his feelings, but he was supposed to take care of her as a childhood sweetheart for so many years, but he seemed to feel that something was different from before.

He didn't dare to think about it.

even mixed with Qin Qing to match her and Shen Muhan.

Maybe he was already aware of it at that time, just running away from the question, because he also knew that they couldn't be, from the moment that handsome back appeared in her life.

He knew he didn't stand a chance.

In her eyes, there is only one Shen Muhan in the whole world, who is clear, and he is dazzling enough to eclipse everyone except him.

Xie Lulin sighed and stretched out his hand to extinguish the cigarette butt, he always suddenly thought of the past, but he also knew that he couldn't go back.

He and Lin Shuang.

and Qin Qing, they can't go back.

But Qin Qing did better than him.

He did far more than this, if it was just like this, he and Lin Shuang probably wouldn't have become like this, and he wouldn't have no face to meet her.

But in fact, the "news of her death" was all a lie made by him.

Because he knew that Shen Muhan was looking for her everywhere, he had chased her to the United States, and even found the hospital where they had gone to ask about the situation before.

If he didn't do something, he would definitely be able to find the hospital where Lin Shuang was soon. (To be continued.) )