Time is like an arrow, the sun and the moon are like a shuttle, and before he knew it, He Xiaoming was promoted to the second grade of primary school. He Xiaoming's homeroom teacher is called Yan Li, a very traditional and serious female teacher, in her forties, who teaches Chinese.

On the first day of class, Yan Li said to her classmates: "Hello classmates, my surname is Chu, in the future, you can call me Teacher Chu, I will call you Chinese, although I can't speak into a chapter and keep my mouth shut, but I will definitely be conscientious; Although it can't be a word, it will definitely not be ugly. ”。 After introducing himself, Mr. Chu began to attend class, and Mr. Chu said to the students: "Students, we use the word 'bag' to make a word, and I hope you will enthusiastically raise your hands to answer." As soon as he finished speaking, Huang Xiaopeng raised his hand and said, "Bao Gong." Teacher Chu nodded and said, "This is good!" I hope that all male classmates will be Bao Gong when they grow up. Bao Gong was a famous Qing official in ancient China, and in today's highly expanded individualism, China needs talents like Bao Gong even more. But is there anything more creative"? As soon as Li Xiaopang heard about the idea, he immediately raised his hand and said: "Buns". Teacher Chu paused for a moment and said, "The buns are not bad, but you just care about eating them." At this time, the enthusiasm of the students was raised, and they all laughed. Teacher Chu said, "Can you be more creative"? He Xiaoming immediately raised his hand and said, "Bao Second Wife"! When Mr. Chu heard this, he was shocked: "I didn't expect that even children know the words 'second mother', this society is ugly." The classmates all rolled back and forth with laughter, and the teacher smiled awkwardly and said: "Bao Erma is a word used by corrupt officials and nouveau riche, and children can't use it." He Xiaoming said: "Why can't you use it? Teacher Chu glared at He Xiaoming and said, "It's just you." Teacher Chu was afraid that the students would say the words "Bao Sanma", "Bao Si Ma" or even "Bao Xiaomi", so he quickly changed the topic and said: "We don't need to make words with words, we use the word 'fan' to make words, Li Xiaofang stood up and said: "Standard". Teacher Chu praised her and said, "That's a good word! Society needs to be regulated"! Li Xiaopang stood up and said, "Hawker." Teacher Chu said: "Now there are no hawkers in big cities, and now the hawkers in big cities have been driven away like bandits by the chengguan." He Xiaoming immediately stood up and said, "Fan ran and ran." "Fan Runran?" Teacher Chu was a little puzzled and asked, "Who is Fan Ranran?" ”。 He Xiaoming said: "It was the male teacher who first told his classmates not to move during the Wenchuan earthquake, and then rushed to the playground like 'lightning' and his 'face and hairstyle' were very similar to those of middle-aged women from key universities." Li Na stood up and shouted, "He ran faster than Liu Xiang"! Teacher Chu finally remembered and said with a smile: "Oh, it turned out to be him"! Teacher Chu thought about it for a while and said: "Actually, this can't be all blamed on him, who called the officials who came to accept the teaching building to rate the tofu slag project as a high-quality project!" Forget it, let's not talk about sad things, now we turn to a new page". The classroom was still like an explosion, and the teacher knocked the blackboard a few times with the whip before the students quieted down. Since He Xiaoming made a big fuss in class, Teacher Chu didn't want He Xiaoming to answer questions every time she came to her class, He Xiaoming saw that his classmates were all speaking enthusiastically, but he was very bored, so he secretly drew a picture below, and a female teacher with eyes was drawn on the screen to seal a child's mouth, and it was written next to "Teacher Chu bullied He Xiaoming".

After He Xiaoming went home, he turned on the TV to watch "Joyful and Big Big Wolf", when the theme song of the cartoon sounded, He Xiaoming also sang along with the TV: "Don't look at me as just a sheep, the green grass because I become more fragrant, the sky because I become bluer, the white clouds because I become softer, don't look at me as just a sheep, the sheep's intelligence is unimaginable, no matter how high the sky is, the mood is as unrestrained, chasing the sun every day." When He Xiaoming saw that the lazy sheep was caught by the gray wolf and was about to be thrown into a boiling pot to cook, he was so scared that he covered his eyes with his two little hands, but he was afraid and wanted to see, so he slowly opened his two fingers and watched between his fingers; When he saw that the lazy sheep was rescued, He Xiaoming jumped up and clapped his hands with joy, and when he saw the wife of the gray wolf abusing the gray wolf, He Xiaoming immediately scolded the wife of the gray wolf for being an old witch who eats children. Mrs. Ming cooked the rice and asked Xiao Ming to come over for dinner. He Xiaoming was fascinated and ignored his mother. He Tianci saw that his son was watching TV and "forgot to sleep and eat", so he immediately came over and turned off the TV, and ordered: "Go and eat." He Xiaoming immediately made a fuss, "No, I want to see it, I want to watch it." Mrs. Ming came over to comfort her son and said, "Xiao Ming, let's watch it after dinner, okay?" Come, mom makes a lot of delicious food, and children don't grow tall without eating, you know? He Xiaoming was reluctantly pulled to the dining table by his mother, listlessly picking up the rice, his mother put the chicken legs and chicken wings into He Xiaoming's bowl, Xiao Ming didn't eat, only ate vegetables, and said to himself: "Bullying children again."

The next day was the weekend, He Xiaoming's family of three was eating breakfast, He Tianci was reading the newspaper while eating breakfast, looking at it, looking at it and "sweating profusely", Mrs. Ming saw that her husband was so nervous, and asked He Tianci: "See a ghost?" Or do you see the underworld slashing people"? He Tianci ignored his wife, and said to himself there: "Fortunately, I didn't go to college at that time, fortunately"! Mrs. Ming immediately said loudly, "What are you talking to yourself?" He Tianci was yelled at by his wife, and immediately came to his senses and said: "It's nothing, here is a cruel article on college students' employment." Mrs. Ming said disdainfully, "What does the article say?" Look at it scares you out of sweat! The article said: "Dozens of male college students in Beijing are waiting for someone to ask them to be nannies." Mrs. Ming smiled and said, "Men also go to be nannies"? He Tianci said depressedly: "Yes, there are hundreds of college students in Jinan who apply for dung diggers." Mrs. Ming was surprised and said, "Dung digger? No way! Is that what college students do? He continued: "There are thousands of college students who have applied for the job of being the administrator of a five-star toilet in Suzhou." Mrs. Ming was very surprised and said, "I'm dizzy, then they won't be the head of the toilet!" He Tianci continued: "Also, the party and government kindergartens in Fangchenggang, Guangxi Province need a master's degree to recruit teachers." Mrs. Ming said very angrily: "Kindergarten teachers also have to graduate with a master's degree, which is too wasteful of talents!" He Tianci said helplessly: "Alas, what kind of world is this!" I think that back then, all college students had good job assignments, why are college students so miserable now." Mrs. Ming said: "It's no wonder who said that most of China's private enterprises are "OEM"! Whoever calls the scientific and technological innovation of China's state-owned enterprises is just lip service! Who calls many private entrepreneurs in China neither brand, nor sales channels, nor R&D! Who is called ....... Mrs. Ming still wanted to say, but He Tianci immediately stopped and said: "Okay, don't 'call anyone' anymore, don't talk about so many gray things when your son is next to you, you say so many gray thoughts to him, so that he has no confidence in his future." Mrs. Ming said, "Yes, in front of children, you must say that the world is bright and life is beautiful, just like what is taught in school." At this time, He Xiaoming suddenly asked: "Mom, what is a dung digger"? Mrs. Ming was drinking soy milk at the time, and when she heard He Xiaoming ask, she reluctantly swallowed the soy milk and said, "The dung digger, the dung digger is actually a worker." He Xiaoming really said: "Oh, then Dad is a worker, and Dad is also a dung digger"? He Tianci was furious when he heard this, and said, "Alas, you demon king of the mixed world, who told you that your father is a dung digger?" It's not big, it's not small. He Tianci came over and wanted to beat his son's buttocks, but Mrs. Ming persuaded him and said, "Tong Yan Wuji, why should you, as a father, worry about your son!" You're too stingy, aren't you? He Tianci said angrily: "I'm stingy, it's you who taught my son badly." Mrs. Ming said, "Okay, why bother to have a breakfast for the sake of a news report"! Mrs. Ming said to her son, "You can't say unhygienic things when you eat, you know"? He Xiaoming really said: "Got it."

After breakfast, Mrs. Ming put on very short shorts for her son and went to the park to play with him, and just walked to the gate of the park, He Xiaoming saw a big sister wearing a pair of super shorts. He Xiaoming immediately asked: "Mom, why is that sister's pants shorter than mine?" Mrs. Ming smiled and said, "That sister is afraid of the heat, so she wears it very short." He Xiaoming said without any worries: "Oh, it seems to understand." Mrs. Ming took her son to the children's amusement park, and He Xiaoming was so happy that he danced happily, making a train with his mother for a while, entering Snow White Castle for a while, and playing with the bed for a while, which was really happy. After a day of playing, the sun has set in the west, Mrs. Ming takes her son home, and when she gets home, Mrs. Ming immediately cooks rice, He Xiaoming watches cartoons, eats and takes a bath, He Xiaoming goes to bed immediately. Mrs. Ming was sitting in the living room reading a magazine, and suddenly, she saw an article entitled "Seeing People from the Outside", and the first sentence of the article was "Men mix well, and their hair is coming back; Women mix well, and they wear less and less clothes." Mrs. Ming laughed when she saw it, and as soon as He Tianci came in, she saw his wife holding a magazine and laughing. Ask: "Why do you smile so happily?" Mrs. Ming said, "No, just seeing this sentence reminds me of the question my son asked me at the gate of the park today." He Tianci said: "What question did my son ask"? Mrs. Ming said: "Today we walked to the entrance of the park and saw a woman wearing a miniskirt, and my son asked me, 'Why is that sister wearing shorter pants than his?'" He Tianci said disdainfully: "What do children know." Mrs. Ming asked, "Where did you get this magazine?" He Tianci said: "I bought it from a roadside stall, it was very cheap, six yuan." Mrs. Ming said: "Men mix well, their hair falls back, women mix well, and wear less and less clothes." This author can write it all, and his associative ability is too strong!" He Tianci said: "Actually, he is also very right! Look at those corrupt officials and big money in my country, which one of them has a bare forehead? And the hair is combed back. No matter how many young wives you wear with second wives and sugar daddy, which clothes are not too little, otherwise how can you seduce those big and corrupt officials." Mrs. Ming said disapprovingly: "According to what you say, the hair that falls back is corrupt officials and big money?" Are the scantily dressed second wives and other people's lovers? Everyone has a love for beauty, and it's okay for girls to love beauty and dress less? Now it's the 21st century, do you think it's still like the old feudal era, everyone is hiding at home, women are not allowed to show their heads, such things can only be imagined by those so-called saints! A woman's lack of talent is virtue". He Tianci said: "Yes! Now is the age of individuality, women are liberated, so dress more revealing than the other, be careful not to meet perverts, and seduce people to commit crimes. It's not that women are talentless, it's indeed virtue, you see how many people Empress Lu, Wu Zetian, and Cixi have killed." Mrs. Ming was not convinced and said: "You can't beat a woman to death with a stick, there is a great woman behind many great men." He Tianci and his wife did not give in to each other, Mrs. Ming argued with reason, He Tianci felt bored, and slept with his back to his wife, and Mrs. Ming also turned his back to her husband, and the two slept back to back.

The next day, He Xiaoming's school held an activity to join the Young Pioneers, the elder sister and elder brother wore a red scarf to the younger brothers and sisters, He Xiaoming saw the bright red scarf and felt very beautiful, and liked it very much, when the senior sister put on the red scarf for him, He Xiaoming felt very funny, touched and touched the red scarf, after the ceremony, the principal spoke to the students and said: "The red scarf is a corner of the red flag, it is dyed with the blood of the revolutionary martyrs, everyone must love it, cherish it, Everyone is required to wear a red scarf when they come to school, and they are not allowed to enter the school gate without a red scarf, and they are not allowed to enter the classroom without a red scarf." After school, He Xiaoming proudly returned home with a red scarf, and He Tianci asked his son: "What is that one around your neck?" He Xiaoming said proudly: "Red scarf, I am already a Young Pioneer." He Tianci saw his son's innocent appearance wearing a red scarf, and he was smirking on the sofa alone, Mrs. Ming touched He Tianci and said, "What's so funny"! He Tianci smiled and said, "I smiled when I was happy." Mrs. Ming ignored He Tianci's practice of entering the kitchen, and He Xiaoming asked He Tianci: "Dad, did you wear a red scarf when you were a child?" He Tianci was asked by his son, and said with a smile: "Dad's family was very poor when he was a child, and the school was also very poor. He Xiaoming said: "Dad, did you wear underwear to school when you were a child?" He Tianci laughed and said, "It's almost, but it's not underwear, it's middle pants, it's middle pants sewn with rags." The father and son chatted and talked about Mrs. Ming's meal, and the meal was ready. During the meal, He Xiaoming said to Mrs. Ming: "Mom, did Dad often wear pants to school when he was a child?" Mrs. Ming covered her mouth and smiled, "Yes! At that time, your father wore a pair of floral pants to school, and he was quite embarrassed to see me, his face was flushed, and he deliberately avoided me." He Tianci said embarrassedly: "Who is flushed and deliberately avoids you, everyone was about the same at that time, which family is not so thrifty, just cover the buttocks of the child, do you understand my name Xinchao"! Mrs. Ming smiled and said, "Yes! New Dynasty". He Tianci said: "Today's parents buy so many clothes for their children, which will only increase their vanity and teach the children badly." Mrs. Ming said: "Now that the Chinese have money, of course they have to consume, otherwise how can China's economy grow"! He Xiaoming said: "What is vanity"? Mrs. Ming said: "Vanity is greedy for enjoyment, greedy for beautiful appearance, greedy for some worthless honors, you don't understand when you are so young, you will understand when you grow up." He Xiaoming said while taking a big bite of meat: "Oh."