I don't know when my cyclical episodes began, and even if I searched through all my memories, it was fruitless. I'm not used to this kind of feeling, I like to be able to grasp the source of things, analyze the development of things, so I have discovered a very unique way of remembering, I like to classify and compress memories, so that it will be very convenient and easy to forget when extracting. Speaking of memories, I remember my earliest memories when I was very young, I was only about two or three months old, and I remember that I didn't roll over at that time. It was an autumn afternoon, I woke up from my sleep, the sun was slanting into the house, shining on my little body, I felt warm and peaceful. My mother was sitting on the edge of the bed smiling at me, and several neighboring children screamed excitedly and nervously when they saw me wake up, "Look, look, he's awake." ”

I remember my mother didn't stop the screams, I remember my mother just looking at me with a smile and saying softly, "Xiaoshan, you're awake." ”

I remember blinking my eyes and looking at my mother's smile in the sun, which was very abrupt and felt very peaceful for no reason.

I came back to my senses, blinked vigorously, and looked around, the room was quiet, and Lu Xue was sitting in a chair by the window reading a book. The afternoon sun slanted in, sprinkled on her satin-like hair, shining softly, gently rippling with the breeze through the window, and her creamy skin also looked more crystal in the sun, she was delicately scribbling the pages with her fingers, and the smile on her face was gone, and she didn't know when it had changed to contemplation. I chuckled lightly, and I suddenly felt that the dew snow bathed in the slanting sun had a very holy smell.

It's peaceful here.

"Brother Xiaoshan, you're awake." Lu Xue heard my chuckle, hurriedly put down the book, smiled and said softly.

"Yes." I answered.

"Are you feeling better?"

I nodded, straightened up, and leaned back on the head of the bed, "What are you looking at?" ”

"This? College textbooks. Lu Xue shook the book, and then asked, "Brother Xiaoshan, are you hungry?" I'm going to make you something to eat. As he spoke, he put down the book, stepped out of Muguang, and walked towards the door. I suddenly felt a sense of loss and regret.

"Thank you, Luxue." I said softly.

Ruxue looked back at me with a smile at the door, held out a finger and shook it in front of me, and then ran happily to the kitchen.

I shook my head gently, it's peaceful here, and I like this feeling, but it's myself who spoils the atmosphere, maybe I don't deserve peace anymore, I smiled helplessly, got up and got out of bed.

By the time I finished washing, Luxue had already warmed up the meal. Yesterday, when I came back from my post, I fell into a coma, and except for a few times when I drank water toilets, the rest of the time I spent in my sleep with a high fever. After a day and a night of self-repair, I finally had control of my body again.

I picked up the dishes and chopsticks and took a bite of food, and the food was very fresh, not like overnight. "You made this now?" I asked Lu Xue, who was also sitting at the table, smiling with her cheeks on her cheeks.

"No, I thought you would wake up at noon, and this was done at noon."

"Have you eaten yet?"

"I've eaten it,"

I exhaled lightly, the way the dishes were presented was still her unique artistic shape, but the quality of the dishes was a little soft, obviously after a long period of soaking.

I looked up at my watch, "It's past four o'clock, you can eat some together, and it's dinner." ”

"Brother Xiaoshan, let's eat first, I'll wait for my brother to come back and eat together." Lu Xue smiled and refused.

"I don't think it's been a long time since I've cooked for myself." Looking at Lu Xue, I shook my head slightly.

"Am I not doing well?"

"It's good, but I'm afraid I'm not good at cooking."

"That's easy to do, I'll cook for you in the future." Lu Xue looked at me with a smile and a serious tone.

I put down the dishes and chopsticks and looked at her seriously, her sitting posture was a little stiff, the smile on her face was a little stiff, and there was a hint of expectation and hope in her eager eyes.

I chuckled, shook my head slightly, picked up the dishes and chopsticks again, looked away, and said softly, "I'm too poor to afford a cook like you." ”

There was a sudden silence in the room, as if all the sounds had suddenly disappeared, and even the second hand of the clock seemed to have stopped moving. I struggled to eat, but I still couldn't hear myself chewing. The space around me suddenly seemed to be far away from me, and it was as if I was suddenly in outer space. My world is nothing, and it seems that only this nothingness is what I really have.

My world is empty, there is no light, no clouds, no mountains and rivers, there is nothing here, I have thought about building everything, but the result is not ideal, I have no luck against the sky, I am not smart, I am not strong, and I have two family genetic histories. In my world, the only thing I can do seems to be calm thinking, calmly facing everything around me, calmly facing myself, calmly facing the world, and not letting myself disappear into nothingness and sink into nothingness.

I ate in silence in my world, embarrassed and helpless. Suddenly, a burst of laughter broke the silent world. I looked up and saw Lu Xue looking at me with a smile as always, she smiled and said, "Then when I graduate, I will open a restaurant downstairs, and then Brother Xiaoshan will remember to come and patronize, if Brother Xiaoshan is unemployed one day, remember to help, I will count your shares." Her gaze was still eager, and the expectation and hope in her eyes seemed even stronger.

I seemed to hear myself laughing, as if I heard myself say, "Okay." ”

Sun Hao came back a little late today, but fortunately, he called earlier and told Lu Xue that he didn't have to wait for him to eat, otherwise Lu Xue's dinner could be changed to a supper. When he returned, it was almost eight o'clock, and somehow he didn't use the key to open the door, but rang the doorbell wildly. When I opened the door, I was greeted by three depressed and angry faces.

There were three people standing outside the door, only to see Sun Hao sweating profusely, looking depressed, holding the wall with one hand, and supporting Zhou Ying, who was also pale and depressed, with only one foot on the ground, and behind them was Xiao Yin, who was also depressed. Their combination made Luxue and I stunned for a while.

"What's going on?" When they came into the house, Lu Xue asked impatiently.

"Our School"

"My Feet"

"My Miserable Day"

The three of them spoke in unison, and then abruptly stopped at the same time.

"Let's talk about them one by one, Zhou Ying, what's wrong with your feet?" I asked.

"You ask him?" Zhou Ying pointed at Sun Hao and said angrily.

"I" Sun Hao was speechless again.

"Let's talk about it first." Lu Xue poured them tea and said with a smile.

"Brother Xiaoshan, you have to be responsible for me!" Xiao Yin roared angrily.

Sun Hao and the three of them turned their heads sharply and stared at me, Sun Hao's face was really like this, Zhou Ying was incredible, and Lu Xue's eyes were more shocked and a little lost.

I looked at Xiao Yin seriously and said calmly, "My last method didn't solve the problem?" ”

"Xiaoshan, such a young child, you won't" Sun Hao touched his chin, incredulous.

"Brother, Xiao Yin is talking about the last time she was bullied at school, what do you think?" Lu Xue also seemed to come to her senses and hurriedly stopped Sun Hao.

Zhou Ying just looked at us with a smile and didn't speak.

"It's solved, he's not bullying me anymore, but," Xiao Yin stopped talking.

"But what? Xiao Yin, don't worry, say slowly. Lu Xue said with a smile.

"My classmates are passing on it, saying, saying, saying that I like him, so I collect his graffiti, but the original plan can't go any further, and he doesn't scribble."

"Isn't that great?" Sun Hao was puzzled.

"But, but," Xiao Yin said in a hesitant manner, "but he began to speak ill of each other, always saying some ugly things to me, and my classmates said that I was chasing him, embarrassed to death, I just don't go to school, Brother Xiaoshan, you are responsible for your ideas." Xiao Yin sobbed sadly.

"I see, that kid really likes you, you should be happy." Sun Hao said with a look of course.

"Brother, just say a few words."

"Actually, it's nothing, little sister, when I was in school, it was normal for someone to like it, and it was despised when no one liked it." Zhou Ying said with a smile.

"No one likes to be despised, and the breakup is even worse." Sun Hao shrugged his shoulders and muttered in a low voice.

Zhou Ying glared at Sun Hao angrily, and her face turned pale all of a sudden.

"Xiaoshan, do you have a solution?" Sun Hao hurriedly changed the topic and asked.

"Is he really that bad?" I asked, pondering.

"It's a kindergarten level, Brother Xiaoshan, you still told me to keep it like a baby, and now there is such a thing again, what do you say I should do?" Xiaoyin sobbed aggrievedly, "The teachers at school don't like me, my classmates bully me, and now the female classmates have started to spread the word, Brother Xiaoshan, I'm afraid, I'm afraid that the teacher will find parents, then my grandma, what should my grandma do, she is old and her health is not very good, Brother Xiaoshan, what should I do?" ”

I took a deep breath, and to be honest, I didn't expect things to be so complicated. "Do you still have his paintings? Take it and I'll take a look. ”

"Yes, yes, I'll go get it." Xiao Yin seemed to grasp a life-saving straw, and ran out of the door as if a gust of wind.

"Do you really have a way?" Sun Hao asked suspiciously.

I shook my head slightly, and Luxue seemed to be lost in thought.

After a while, Xiao Yin ran back with another gust of wind and stuffed a homework book full of graffiti into my hand, "It's all here, Brother Xiaoshan, think of a way?" ”

I looked at it carefully, Xiaoyin's description was very accurate, this is indeed the kindergarten level. I closed my homework book and said to Sun Hao, "Lend me your computer." ”

"Can't you get one of your own?" Sun Hao muttered, took out his laptop from his bag and handed it to me.

I took the computer, turned it on, and Lu Xue came over. The computer turned on, we glanced at the desktop, invariably looked at each other, and quickly looked away. I open the webpage and type search.

"Search for Malevich." Lu Xue whispered, and at the same time glanced at Sun Hao inadvertently.

After a while, I found what I was looking for and said to Xiao Yin, "Xiao Yin, take your watercolor pen, and the mp4 sent by your parents." ”

Xiao Yin answered, and ran out like the wind.

"Xiaoshan, do you have a way?" Zhou Ying asked suspiciously.

I shook my head, "No, now it's only a deception." ”

"At the end of the day, it's not about deceiving people." Sun Hao said disdainfully.

"It's not a lie, although this graffiti is really bad, but this method may really give him the motivation to paint, maybe he can really become a generation of masters in many years, maybe there is also a maybe." Dew Snow Road.

"How?"

"Find a painting by an abstract master similar to this graffiti, paint it in a similar color, and then show it to himself, suggesting that his graffiti is similar to the master's painting, so that his thinking will return to the original transaction, and he will identify with and admire Xiao Yin."

"Is his drawing that good?" Zhou Ying asked.

"Abstract paintings are about lines, colors, light and shadow, and meanings, which can be painted by a child with graffiti." Ruxue shook her head.

"Brother Xiaoshan, I brought it." Xiao Yin gasped and rushed through the door.

"I'll do it, little brother." Lu Xue smiled at me and took Xiao Yin's watercolor pen.

I looked at Lu Xue, nodded, and asked Zhou Ying again, "Xiaoying, what's wrong with your feet?" ”

"It's gone." Zhou Ying replied angrily.

"How?"

"You ask him." Zhou Ying pointed at Sun Hao and said angrily.

Sun Hao shrugged, "This has nothing to do with me." ”

"Why doesn't it matter? If you hadn't called me, would I have broken my foot? ”

"I called you to say hello, and I didn't knock you down the steps, you should go find the person who hit you." Sun Hao argued.

"If you hadn't called me, would I have been distracted? Can I let her bump into me if I don't get distracted? ”

"Wait, wait, Sun Hao, you went to her company today?" I asked, confused.

"No, today, was originally to pick up a customer, but by this grandson Dongcheng, South City, West City, North City, enough to slip me around, originally just some small bolts for the replacement, this does not need me to go out of the car to deliver, but I am kind, want to help deliver the delivery, who ever thought that this grandson, first said to pick up a friend in Dongcheng, and then said to go to the construction site in Nancheng to see, and finally finally brought him to Xicheng, finally to the place, but this grandson said that he had a dinner in Beicheng, and said that drunk driving is harmful, He didn't want me to lose a big client like him. I could only grit my teeth and pull him to the north again. It was five o'clock in Beicheng, and I just saw that Xiaoying had just gotten off work, so I said hello.

"Why did your colleague hit you?" I asked Zhou Ying again.

"And why? Despised it. Xiao Yin suddenly turned her head and interjected.

"You, you kid" Zhou Ying seemed to be very angry and annoyed.

I looked at Sun Hao, and Sun Hao gave me a helpless look.

Zhou Ying took a deep breath and said with a wry smile, "There is a department manager who wants me to be his junior, but I didn't agree, but he made it more difficult, he knew that I had no relatives here and no reason, and wanted me to obey or get out, hmph, I won't let him get his wish." ”

"You are Zhou Ying, how can you let him get his wish, you are the strongest of us here, he is simply delusional, if there is anything you need our help with, just say it." Sun Hao also said indignantly.

"No, I can solve it myself, what gossip, what excludes slander, just come on, I'll continue. I did it with my true skills, did I think I was a crying child? Hmph, then he's wrong. ”

"I'm a child, and I sympathize with your plight, but you can't use this to bully me." Xiao Yin's sensitive meaning is something, and she doesn't follow the Tao.

Lu Xue looked at Xiao Yin with interest, smiled and shook her head.

"Hehe, it's not just you who are children, we are all children, we are all stupid children." Sun Hao said with a smile, and suddenly sang, "Oh~ There is a stupid child outside the quiet village, born in the eighties"