The light rain in the sky street is as moist as a crisp, and the grass color is close but there is none.

It is the most beneficial spring of the year, and it is absolutely better than the smoke and willows in the imperial capital.

- "Early Spring Chengshui Department Zhang Eighteen Members" Han Yu

The snow in Yuxue Mountain has not yet melted, but the bottom of the mountain has brought a hazy*. I lifted the curtain of the carriage and looked out the window, the cool breeze carrying the rain from the window and hitting my face, I was stunned. It has not gone down the mountain for a year, this Jingshi is as prosperous as before, it is not like a person's state of mind, and it does not become desolate and barren because of the disappearance of any person.

"Mother......" Nuo'er in my arms called me softly, I lowered the curtains, bowed my head and kissed his pink cheek, and smiled at him. My Nuo'er turned one year old today, and the old man held a weekly ceremony for him in the Hou Mansion. There are three important ceremonies in the life of the men of the Tiancao Kingdom, the full moon banquet, the one-year-old Zhou, and the sixteen-year-old Chengren ceremony. I missed Noor's full moon banquet, but I can't miss it anymore, even if I am still in the mourning period, even if I am no longer willing to leave Yuxue Mountain and leave Yunzheng.

I followed Yun Zheng's wish and buried him on the Jade Snow Mountain, in the Aoxue Mountain Villa. For a long, long time, I felt that everything that happened on the Jade Snow Mountain was a dream, and when I woke up, just as he had woken me up from a nightmare before, I would still be embraced by him in that warm and safe arms, and I would see his gentle and soothing gaze. However, Nuo'er is true, Stygian Flame is real, and Yun Zheng will no longer be by my side, which is also true.

I don't remember how I lived in the first days after Yun Zheng left, I only remember that on the day of the burial, many people came to the mountain, many familiar or unfamiliar faces, but I couldn't tell who they were, they were talking to me, and I couldn't hear what they were saying. I just looked at my Yun Zheng, looking at his pale face and closed eyes, my heart ached, I knew that no matter how painful and desperate I was, these eyes would never open again, looking at me gently.

Yun Zheng lay peacefully in the coffin, many people were crying, but I couldn't shed tears, my tears had dried up. Yun Zheng, I promised you that I would live well. But if you're not there, who can heal my heartache? The coffin lid slowly covered the coffin, Yun Zheng's face was gradually blocked by the coffin lid, disappeared from my sight, and suddenly realized that after this moment, the person who loves me the most, cherishes me the most, and treats me the best in this world, I will never see him again. Rushing forward like crazy, holding the coffin lid deadly, I shouted in a panic: "Yun Zheng, Yun Zheng, you get up, you get up...... I thought I could be strong and keep my promise to you, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't pretend to be strong, I couldn't control my heartache. Yun Zheng, how can you bear to leave me, how can you leave me......

The pain in my heart was expanding, expanding, and the boundless pain seemed to swallow me. I thought I wouldn't cry anymore, but there was a hot and moist liquid running down my cheeks from the corners of my eyes, and the sky and the earth were instantly red. Someone came to pull me, someone was screaming, I just threw myself on Yun Zheng's coffin, calling my dear Yun Zheng one after another. The back of the head was hit hard, the blood red in front of my eyes turned black, and my consciousness gradually drifted away, I heard someone calling, "Ye Yatou", "Young Lady", "Sister-in-law", "Sister", "Huahua", "Mrs. Ronghua", and even "Xue'er", who it is, I don't want to care about ......him, because there is no more "Ye'er" for whom I am willing to wake up.

Yun Zheng, I want to go to you, whether in heaven or in the underworld, don't be angry with me, let me have my surname this time, Nuo'er has a grandfather and an uncle, they will take care of him. Yun Zheng, take me away, no matter where you go, turn into wind or clouds, please take me with you......

However, man has the shackles of his body and cannot fly where his soul wants to go. How you don't want to go, but your body is helplessly weakened, how I want to go to you, but my soul can't break away from this body that is gradually regaining sanity. Gradually, I could feel someone checking my pulse, someone giving me medicine, but I didn't want to try to open my eyes like you did when you were there during the postpartum hemorrhage. I want to sink deeper into the darkness, to find your light in the darkness.

Until I felt a warm little body lying on top of me and began to cry.

My heart twitched, my Noor......

I opened my eyes and looked at Noel, who I had only seen once since I was born. He lay on my chest, looked at me curiously, and actually stopped crying. There was a layer of redness in front of him, and his heart twitched with joy and pain, he and Yun Zheng were too similar and too similar, although Nuo'er was still so small, but the contours of his face, his eyebrows were clear, his eyes were clear, and his demeanor was almost exactly the same as Yun Zheng.

I hugged him and never let go. Yun Zheng, you insist on refusing to take me away because you know that Nuo'er will be my salvation, right?

I think of you in the dead of night, and I repeatedly review the nights and nights with you, every minute and every second, and after I no longer feel the heart-rending pain, I began to thank God instead of resenting God, and I finally understood that God treats me well, and he can't give a person too much happiness.

In the last life, I have seen so many couples, or turn against each other, or part ways, or sleep in the same bed, or are just partners in life, pots and pans, stumbling, quarreling and quarrelling, how many people really stick to love all their lives. In this life, most of the men who are a little rich are three wives and four concubines. If I were asked to grab a man from a bunch of women who couldn't be fully my own, I couldn't do it; Today is deeply affectionate to me, and tomorrow I will go with other wives and concubines, I can't stand it. And Yun Zheng, his heart, such a flawless and priceless heart, actually belongs to me completely, how fortunate I am, I am his first love and the only one.

From a tearful heart-to-heart exchange, to the understanding and tolerance of honest life experience, in the face of the court, we work hand in hand, he shelters me from the wind and rain, even if it is an unspoken wish, he has to do his best to help me realize it. When I was in a coma, he cared for me and was willing to live and die with me; And when he is gone, he only wishes me a good life. Except for his illness, he never made me angry or sad, and even in his illness, he was always afraid of my worries, and endured the pain alone, not wanting me to take risks for him.

I, Ye Haihua, an ordinary woman, once had a husband like this, what more could a husband ask for.

My journey with him, there is only beauty, no regrets. Maybe I was fortunate that if it weren't for the Black Dragon Jade of the Dark Flame, and without all the encounters that prompted me to come to Cangdu, I wouldn't have met him; Maybe it's misfortune, if I had met him earlier, he could have solved the Gu earlier, or if I hadn't hemorrhaged heavily after giving birth, would my life have been different? Unfortunately, there are no ifs in life, and there are no answers to my questions.

But I know that I am not alone, I will never be alone, he is always as elegant in my heart as when I first saw him, as real as when I was entangled, as vivid as when I looked at each other, as if as soon as I stretched out my hand, I could touch his handsome and gentle face, and hold his slightly cool and slender fingers. I didn't need to worry about his illness anymore, I gently told him about the people and things I met every day, and told him about Noer's growth. Thinking of the morning and twilight with him, his sincere promises and beautiful lies with me, the banter and laughter with him, his tender love for me, I often fell asleep with a smile on my face, only to wake up, I don't know when, tears wet the pillow towel.

"Sister, the Hou Mansion has arrived." Xiaohong saw me holding Nuo'er in a daze, and called me softly, and I came back to my senses. Xiaohong was received by the old man in the capital, probably because he was afraid that I wouldn't be able to open it after Yun Zheng left, and wanted to be accompanied by someone I was familiar with, I actually had to admit that the old man was actually quite good to me, and he didn't despise me because I lost the value of use. Noel's nurse, Hui Niang, reached out and wanted to take Noel out of my arms. Nuo'er hooked my neck and shouted softly: "Mother, hug, mother......"

Nuo'er just opened her mouth for a long time, and now she can only say some single words, I remember the first time I heard him call out "mother" from his mouth, I couldn't stop my tears, and I was nagged by Xiaohong for a long time. I patted Nuo'er on the back soothingly and said to Huiniang, "It's okay, I'll hold him." ”

"But the young lady's eyes ......," Huiniang looked at me worriedly, and stopped talking. I smiled: "I'm holding No'er, you just hold my arm, it's not like you can't see it at all." ”

My eyes, on the day of Yun Zheng's burial, shed blood and tears. When I woke up, my eyes were always covered with a layer of hazy red, and everything I saw was red. My eyesight gradually deteriorated, and I was able to see them clearly when they were so close to me. Now Mr. Fu has become my doctor again, treating my eyes, but he can only control his eyesight from getting worse.

After getting out of the car, Yun Yi greeted him: "The young lady has worked hard." ”

I smiled, and under the leadership of Xiaohong and Hui Niang, I cautiously walked up the steps and went inside. The Hou Mansion must have invited a lot of guests today, but I really couldn't see it clearly, so I had to keep a proper smile and nod to the person who saluted me with my voice, so as not to be rude. Before he walked to the atrium, his grandfather greeted him, and his voice was a little excited: "Ye girl......"

I smiled: "Grandpa......" lowered my head and whispered to Nuo'er in my arms: "Nuo'er, call Grandpa!" ”

Nuo'er pouted, opened her mouth but didn't make a sound, raised her eyes and saw the old man's face full of anticipation, and continued to urge him softly, Nuo'er opened her mouth, and only after a moment did she make two indistinct monotones: "Too, ...... master"

The old man's tears rolled out at once. I feel a little guilty in my heart, the old man is old, and I must want to get closer to Nuo'er in my heart, but I don't want to live in Houfu, I only want to stay on Yuxue Mountain, the old man didn't leave Nuo'er in Houfu because of my inconvenient eyes, I have always been grateful to him in my heart. I lowered my head, looked at Nuo'er, and said softly: "Nuo'er, let grandpa hug me, be ......"

Nuo'er struggled slightly, hugged my neck unsnuggly, and I coaxed him softly: "Good, grandpa loves Nuo'er the most, let great-grandpa hug ......" Nuo'er didn't move, obediently let me hand him to the old man, the old man picked him up helplessly, and tears came out again.

"Grandpa, let's go inside, the ceremony is ready." An Yuanxi's voice sounded beside the old man. I looked up at him, his face blurring in my eyes. "Sister-in-law!" His voice couldn't hear the ups and downs, and he still didn't have any expression on his face, but no matter what his expression was now, I couldn't see it now. "Uncle." I nodded, smiled slightly, and handed my hand to Red. The old man looked at me and said softly, "Girl, are your eyes better?" ”

"It's good, it didn't continue to deteriorate." I smiled, not wanting to talk about my eyes, "Grandpa, go inside." ”

The people of Tiancao attach great importance to grasping the Zhou ceremony, and the child is one year old, which means that he has spent the first spring, summer, autumn and winter on the road of life safely, so he must celebrate it vigorously, not to mention that it is a wealthy family like the Yun family, and Nuo'er is a premature child who lost his father, and he ushered in his first birthday safely and healthily, which is of great significance to the Yun family.

Nuo'er put on a new dress that had been prepared a long time ago, and tied a tasseled ornament symbolizing longevity around his waist, I couldn't see the color of his clothes clearly, but it was still red in front of me, and I could still feel that the color of his new clothes should be very bright, embroidered with peonies and Fushou characters. After offering to God, I prayed to the god that my Nuo'er could grow up safely and healthily, and that her life would be smooth and free from danger.

The items of the grabbing Zhou were placed on a table: the four treasures of the study, swords, bows and arrows, official hats, books, ingots, abacus, toys, pastries and sweets, rouge gouache, jewelry, ....... The old man placed Nuo'er in front of the "table" and asked him to grab the items on the table, and Nuo'er fluttered curiously on the table for a while, grabbing a small silver sword. The relatives and friends who came to watch the ceremony said pleasing words, such as "a great future, a stable country" and so on. I sat on the chair and smiled faintly, my Nuo'er, I don't expect you to be able to govern martial arts in the future, you can live a healthy and smooth life, which is the greatest wish of your father and me.

The old man was very satisfied with the sword that Nuo'er caught, hugged him to the main seat and sat down, and said loudly: "Today, Ben Hou invites you to come to watch the ceremony of grabbing the week of his great-grandson Yun Nuo, because he wants to announce one thing in public, from now on, Yun Nuo is the son of the Marquis of Yongle, and after a hundred years of Ben Hou, he can inherit the title of Ben Marquis." ”

As soon as these words came out, everyone said hello, and many people poured out in front of me, saying things like "Congratulations to Mrs. Ronghua, congratulations to Xiao Shizi". I just felt a lot of figures dangling in front of me, and I was a little dizzy. A wry smile appeared on the corner of his lips, I knew that the old man had this in mind, and he mentioned it to me a few times, but I prevaricated back, but I didn't expect him to insist on saying this decision in front of everyone. I sighed faintly, in the future, I am afraid that the peaceful life of me and Nuo'er will be broken.

——2007、3、13

;