After the weekly ceremony, the guests who came to congratulate had to drink the banquet before leaving with the return gift, I really didn't have the spirit to entertain those occasions, so I took Nuo'er back to the room to rest on the grounds of physical discomfort. Pushing open the door of Yun Zheng and me, there has been no owner living in it for more than a year, and the room is still clean without a trace of dust. My hand gently stroked the Fu character I cut and pasted on the furniture, remembering that time last year, I took the Fu character and pasted it upside down on Yun Zheng's chest, choking in my throat. I closed my eyes, waited for the mist in my eyes to dissipate, felt Nuo'er twist her little body excitedly in my arms, looked down at him, saw him pointing in the direction of the dressing table, and stared wide-eyed: "Mother, mother......"

I couldn't see what he was pointing at, and glanced at Xiaohong: "Xiaohong, what does Nuo'er want?" ”

Xiaohong didn't make a sound, went over to pick up the things on the dressing table, and walked up to the two of us: "Sister, it's two dolls." ”

Nuo'er hugged happily, the fat little hand poked the doll's face, my chest twitched, looking at the two dolls in Nuo'er's hand with trepidation, the two wedding dolls I gave to Yun Zheng on Chinese New Year's Eve last year, I thought that the pain that had calmed down spread out again.

"Baby......" Nuo'er held "Xiao Zheng" in front of me and smiled happily, "Mother, baby......"

"Not a baby." I shook my head, looked at "Xiao Zheng" stupidly, and said softly, "Nuo'er is the baby, this is the father." "Ever since Noel started talking, I taught him all sorts of names: mother, sister, grandfather, uncle, ......, but I never taught him, Daddy. I'm afraid that he will learn to call him Daddy, but he will not find the one who can respond to him gently.

"Baby ......" Nuer insisted on her own name, playing with the doll intently, I turned my face away, and felt sad for a while. Xiaohong said beside her: "Sister, if you are tired, rest for a while, and I will play with Nuo'er." ”

I shook my head, this room is full of sweet memories of me and Yun Zheng, how can you let me rest peacefully? After a while, Ning Er came in and said that the old man came to see me, and quickly stood up, the old man had already come in, and hurriedly said, "Girl, sit down." ”

Huiniang hugged Nuo'er out, Nuo'er held the doll in her hand, and she no longer stuck to me and didn't let go, so she obediently let Huiniang take it away. The old man and the others all went out, and then said to me with a smile: "Girl, it's rare for you to go down the mountain, just stay in the Hou Mansion for a few more days." ”

"Grandpa......" I looked up at him, he was sitting across from the soft couch, I could barely see his facial features, "I ......"

"I know, you are reluctant to be alone on the mountain, but you are Nuo'er's mother, the head of the Yun family, and you can't live on the mountain for the rest of your life." The old man looked at me seriously and said gently, "Your mourning period is almost over, and when Zheng'er's anniversary is over, move back to live, family, it's not a matter of living at the two ends for a long time." Girl, come back to help grandpa take care of the housekeeper, grandpa can enjoy a few days of blessings......"

The mourning period of the Heavenly Dawn Kingdom only takes one year, which is different from the ancient times of my previous life, but it doesn't matter if it is one year or three years, it doesn't make much difference to me. Being able to live quietly in Aoxue Villa, accompany Yun Zheng, and guard Nuo'er to grow up Chengren is my only hope now. I also know in my heart that it is impossible for the old man to let me live in the villa all the time, the old man's health has been getting worse and worse recently, he is also a sick person, Yun Zheng is gone, and the old man will not be less sad than others, but he is a man and the head of the family, and it is impossible to do whatever he wants like me.

"Grandpa, isn't Uncle quite able to help you now? I'm a woman, and my eyes are not good, so it's good not to mess with you, what else can I do for you? I smiled. When An Yuanxi was the head of Xiuzhuang, I knew that he was a person who could do things, and the old man has now handed over a lot of business matters to him to take care of, and I heard that he is also more than competent.

"But No'er is the son, and you are his mother." The old man shook his head, "Nuo'er is still young now, you have to take care of him more, how many years can my old man take care of this family?" In the end, you still have to pick it up to become a ......"

My head started to hurt and I was a little distracted. The old man is actually satisfied with An Yuanxi's ability to do things, and on the surface he seems to trust him very much and loves him very much, but he still has some pimples about his identity in his heart, right? Coupled with the entanglements of the previous generation, the old man refused to hand over the power of the Yun family to him. However, do I have the ability to manage the Yun family? Don't say that I'm a half-blind person, and I have no mental affairs, even if my body and heart were good at the beginning, maybe it's not as good as An Yuanxi now, right? If he let An Yuanxi be in charge, wouldn't everyone be happy? I am quiet, An Yuanxi can also give full play to his talents, and the old man doesn't have to worry about who will threaten Nuo'er's status in a hundred years, he can live peacefully, why make the situation so difficult? Speculating for a long time, what the old man thinks in his heart, no one knows, the old man always has his intentions in doing this, he has been shrewd all his life, and the only thing he looks away from is probably the current saint.

"Girl?" The old man saw that I didn't respond for a long time, and called me, I came back to my senses, and heard him say, "This matter is so decided......"

"What? Grandfather? I was dazed. The old man was stunned and sighed: "Girl......"

I immediately reacted, knew what the old man said, and smiled: "Okay, when the mourning period is over, I will move back to live." "I can't be too selfish, how long can the old man watch Nuo'er? And I, my nostalgia for Yun Zheng, will not be reduced by half a point because I don't live in Aoxue Villa, in the end, I am too paranoid.

"Okay." The old man seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, looked at my eyes, and said gently, "Girl, your eyes, Mr. Fu said that the bruises have already dispersed, and it should have been healed a long time ago, why can't you see clearly?" ”

Really? It's not that my eyes can't see, it's that my heart doesn't want to see, right? Or maybe I've been subconsciously running away from the obligations and responsibilities that I have to bear. After the old man left, Jinsha and a few of them came to see me, a few children are older, maybe there have been more things in the year, they are not as chattering as before, the surname gradually became calm, the children played with Nuo'er for a while, Nuo'er began to be sleepy, I asked Huiniang to take him to sleep, and several children also said goodbye sensibly. The room fell silent, and the boundless silence seemed to overwhelm me. I stood up, and Xiaohong immediately came over to support me: "Sister, where do you want to go?" ”

"Has the rain stopped outside? The house was a little stuffy, and I wanted to go to the garden to blow the wind. I whispered. Xiaohong hurriedly put on a brocade coat for me and helped me out. Walking into the garden, I sat on the bench in the pond water pavilion, the chair was a little cold, Xiaohong hurriedly said: "Sister, I'll go back to the house and get you two cushions, don't walk around." ”

I smiled, where can I go? Leaning sideways on the back of the waterside bench, with your face pressed against the back of your hands, closing your eyes and feeling the moist air after the rain, you feel the tightness in your chest gradually disappearing. There seemed to be someone next to me, I didn't open my eyes, and said softly: "Xiaohong, brought the mat?" ”

The visitor didn't answer me, so I whispered, "Bring it quickly." ”

"Sister-in-law, it's me." An Yuanxi's voice sounded in his ears. I was stunned, opened my eyes, looked in the direction of the voice, and a hazy figure appeared in my hazy eyes. I turned around and sat up straight: "It's uncle, I thought it was Xiaohong back." ”

He didn't say anything, just stood where he was. I didn't hear him speak for a long time, and my face turned to him: "Uncle, something?" ”

"Oh, Qiao Qi sent the guitar that my sister-in-law sent to change strings, and I sent it to you." An Yuanxi seemed to have just come back to his senses and handed me the things in his hand. I took the guitar he handed me and fumbled to get it out of the case. Some time ago, I found that two strings of the guitar were broken, and I asked people to send them to Qiao Qi to change the strings. I stroked the strings with my hand, fumbled for tuning, and tried to change the strings, and there was no problem. smiled: "There is Uncle Lao." ”

"Sister...... "Xiaohong came back, and when she saw An Yuanxi, her voice was a little cold, "I've seen the second young master!" ”

He ignored Xiaohong's cold attitude, and only owed me a debt: "Sister-in-law, I'm leaving." ”

I nodded. Xiaohong saw him walking away, so she said angrily: "Sister, what is this stupid man doing?" ”

"He just brought over the guitar that he was going to pick up the strings." I smiled, "Don't call him stupid, he is now the second young master of the Yun family, and he is not stupid." ”

"Who do I care about him? Even if he becomes an emperor, he is a heartless and unrighteous thing! Xiaohong pursed her lips, spread the cushion on the chair, let me change seats, and said, "Any person can send the piano to my sister, and ask him to come and be courteous, not ......."

"Little Red!" I gave her a warning look, and she snorted when she heard the reproach in my tone. I said lightly: "This is Yunfu, don't say anything casually that causes trouble." ”

She didn't say anything, thinking that she was still not convinced, I sighed faintly: "You go back to the room, I want to be alone for a while." ”

Xiaohong walked awkwardly, I held the guitar, unconsciously looking ahead in a daze, the breeze was blowing, I felt a little cold splash on my face, and it was raining again? The hair on my forehead trembled gently with the wind, and I reached out to feel the misty rain drifting in the wind. Yun Zheng, are you back? Are you coming back to see me?

The rain gradually soaked my hands, and my fingertips were cold. "Sister!" My hand was grabbed, and I angrily wiped the rain stains on my arm with my sleeve: "Sister, why do you care so much about your own body?" ”

I smiled slightly, and let him cover my hand, which was a little red from the cold, in his palm: "Stygian Flame, I'm fine." ”

He looked at me, frowning, silent, just rubbing my hands. I smiled, "Stygian, what new things have you learned today?" made Nuo'er late for the weekly ceremony. ”

A year ago, he and Mo Xiuqi were inexplicably hunted down and killed, and the Yun family didn't find out anything, and those two ninjas disappeared from then on. After Stygian Flame lived in Aoxue Mountain Villa, Yun Zheng asked the guards to teach Stygian Flame a little self-defense, the original intention was just to let Stygian Flame have something to do, and he didn't expect him to really learn a good martial art, after all, the age of his martial arts learning was already over. Unexpectedly, the Dark Flame turned out to be very smart, and the moves taught to him by the Iron Guards, he could read it once, and he would fight well. The guards all say that he is a wizard of martial arts, but unfortunately the internal force is not something that can be possessed overnight, unless there is a master with deep internal strength or someone who is proficient in medical science to help him get through the second pulse of Ren Du, and he can obtain internal power overnight. I don't believe in this kind of legendary thing, once I asked Mr. Fu, but I didn't expect that Mr. Fu had long been interested in the wisdom and talent of the Stygian Flame, and after diagnosing his pulse and touching the bones, he was even more ecstatic, and he had to accept the Stygian Flame as an apprentice, saying that as long as the Stygian Flame agreed, he would help him open up the meridians and improve his internal strength. I can't ask for such a good thing, Stygian Flame worshipped the teacher like this, in addition to practicing every day, he also learned some strange things from Mr. Fu, and I have since learned that Mr. Fu is not only excellent in medical skills, but also has some side skills. After thinking about it again, it suddenly dawned on him, if Mr. Fu didn't know these side techniques, how could he have the ability to suppress Yun Zheng's Gu poison? The old man can take a strange person like Mr. Fu for his own use, which is also a skill.

"I'm sorry sister, I've rushed over as soon as possible, I've been to see Noor, and he's still sleeping." Stygian Flame stuck out her tongue embarrassedly and said with a smile, "Sister, it's interesting for the master to teach me 'casual meditation' today." "His surname has gradually become more cheerful over the past year, he may have learned some skills, regained some self-confidence, and is much more cute.

"Casual Zen? What is it? I was a little surprised and said, "Is Mr. Fu still knowledgeable about Buddhism?" ”

"It's not about that, casual Zen is a little spell." Stygian Flame said excitedly, "To put it simply, whatever you say is what you say, for example, I accidentally said that you would pick up your wallet today, and then you did pick it up on the way, that's what it means." ”

"So amazing? Isn't that a wish-fulfillment spell? I was a little excited, and grabbed Stygian's hand, "Then, can you bring Yun Zheng back to life?" ”

Stygian Flame's smile froze on her face: "Sister......"

"Can't? Isn't it? My smile also stiffened, "I'm sorry, I was confused......"

"Sister......" Stygian's eyes were full of worry and apology. I withdrew my hand and landed on the strings of my guitar with a slight muffled sound, and Wrath changed the subject: "Sister, I've never heard you sing." ”

"Do you want to hear it?" I glanced at him. Wraiflame nodded, and sat down beside me. The hand plucked the strings, and the sound of the piano sobbed and whimpered in the wind, Yun Zheng, everyone knows that it is impossible for you to come back, and I am the only one here who is whimsical.

The white unfamiliar street, the cold wind obscured everything.

The fog rises by the window, in the heart, in the corners of the eyes, and it is impossible to discern the cold night.

Snow is falling outside the window, getting farther and farther away from all the feelings.

There is no temperature, there is no thought, all the fire has been extinguished.

The snow is falling slowly and the night is still dark, this is a world that only belongs to giving up.

The wind and frost in the sky have become my parting, and my heart is as cold as snow.

The wind blew on my face and I shivered so strongly, and my tears were ice chips scattered in the wind.

Love and hate are ignored in the wind and frost, and say goodbye on a foreign night.

It is in this season, picking up a fallen leaf, in that white street, you make me feel close.

It is also this season, the heart is like a broken thread, and I don't want to gather and scatter again.

The snow is falling slowly and the night is still dark, this is a world that only belongs to giving up.

The wind and frost in the sky have become my parting, and my heart is as cold as snow.

The wind blew on my face and I shivered so strongly, and my tears were ice chips scattered in the wind.

Love and hate are annihilated in the wind and frost in the sky, and say goodbye on the night in a foreign country.

Yun Zheng, my love. The world without you is still running, and I am still alive without you, but my heart is empty and taken away by you. When will I see you again, return my heart to me, and fill my heart empty.

——2007、3、15

Vancouver Grief One:

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