A tough life never needs to be explained, and I just molested the wife of a policeman, the chief, and the chief.

Here's the thing, the police officer in charge of interrogating me was recording a confession for me, asking me if I was going to prison for Mao and pretending to be crazy and stupid, asking me which folk artist I learned ventriloquist from, and even asking me where I bought my two pets. For Mao to be obedient for a while, and wild for a while.

Of course, I wouldn't tell the truth, so I told the story of my car accident, and excused me that I had just been discharged from the hospital, and I was a little unconscious.

So, I took a photo with each of the caring police officers and signed them one by one, I don't know what they think, how can my photo ward off evil spirits?

After tossing for a long time, the police finally agreed to release me and let me go home, and then, at the moment of going out, I saw two women break in, and the two of them fought while entering the door, one greeting each other's wife, and the other greeting each other's wife.

The excitement is something that the majority of Chinese people like to see, so I stopped and began to watch, this look does not matter, I found that one of the women I had seen, it was the female driver who drove me to the pet market at noon.

When the eldest sister saw me, she stepped back suddenly, raised a hand and pointed at me tremblingly, and then shouted at the woman who was scolding her with her mouth wide open: "It's him, it's him, he got it." Lao Ma and I are fine, it's all this kid's ghost. ”

Listening to this, I figured out, it turned out that the prank at noon had begun to ferment, and yesterday the daughter-in-law of the driver's eldest brother finally heard the rumor, looking at the tragic situation of these two people, eighty percent had already experienced a vicious fight just now, otherwise how could it be to the public security bureau?

I don't know when a few policemen came over next to me, and they also looked lively, although these people all put on a look of embarrassment and shock.

The driver's eldest sister continued to shout at the woman next to her: "There is something wrong with this kid, he is not human." ”

You're not a human being, hmph, since you're scolding me, don't blame me for being rude.

I suddenly squeezed out a lewd smile, and said to the driver's eldest sister: "Sister, what did you say, you abandoned me, and you just followed Brother Ma, how can you bury me like this?" As I spoke, I walked over to the driver's sister and hugged her.

A cold hiss sounded, hum, what I want is the effect, to make fun of you in front of the police, and to end all these rumors.

"I'll go to you......" Before she finished scolding, the driver's eldest sister was suddenly stunned, and then her face changed, she opened her arms and hugged me, muttering in her mouth: "Dead ghost, why do you say this, you are the heart, Brother Ma is the liver, they are all my little baby......"

Liu Ming is so smart, he knows me best!

"Who's the most handsome?" I scratched my head.

"Damin is the most handsome!" She posed.

"Who's the most coquettish?" I laughed lewdly.

"I'm the most coquettish!" She's shy.

A group of policemen and the woman in her forties next to her were already stunned and speechless, and a young policewoman was covering her mouth and shaking her head in a low voice, as if she had seen something completely incomprehensible.

Just as I was about to take a deeper look at my acting skills, I was keenly aware of a person running out of the police station, wearing a police uniform and holding a gun in his hand, with a face full of anger and trembling, and quickly rushed towards me.

A policeman hurriedly ran to the middle and stopped him hard: "Director, don't be impulsive, killing people is a crime!" My sister-in-law is not that kind of person, there must be a misunderstanding. ”

As soon as he said a word, the other policemen around suddenly woke up, and they all ran to persuade them to call the so-called chief.

I glanced at the driver's eldest sister who was attached to Liu Ming, and then we both realized something at the same time...... Liu Ming slapped his head, and then got out of the unconscious driver's eldest sister.

"I can't stand it anymore! Yes!! I don't know who shouted coldly, and then kicked me in the back. Nima, don't look at it if you can't stand it, you kick my dry hair?

The woman who scolded the driver's sister before squatted next to me and said with a respectful face: "Young man, you are the highest level of death." It's because her man is the director of the public security bureau that Lao Ma didn't dare to come, and you are more than him. ”

"Isn't her man dead?" I muttered, who would have thought that the daughter-in-law of a public security chief would have to drive a taxi to earn money, besides, that was what she said!

"Brother, don't be funny, if you don't know that she is married for the second time, can you come to this place to stir up the scene?" The woman nodded admiringly at me again, turned to leave, and before leaving, left a sentence for the driver's eldest sister: "Nima, it's so easy to faint now, just shoot your head?" Why are you hitting the wall? ”

The scene was chaotic, two or three policewomen surrounded the chief's wife for emergency care, and the director was blocked by the human wall and kept wandering, always scolding unreasonable, saying that he would divorce tomorrow.

The policeman who had taken my confession lifted me up from the ground and whispered in my ear, "Are you lying on the ground trying to slander someone?" I'm telling you, if you had been whipped dozens of times before liberation, get out of here......" he said, pushing me out of the police station.

……

On the way home, I started to get scared, I really can't joke around, some extreme things happen in this kind of coincidence, it seems that in the future, I really can't let the customer and Sophie Fei mess with each other.

When I got home, I found that Liu Qian hadn't come back yet, so I decided to learn from the pain and self-criticize myself again for five minutes, and then I started to play landlord with Liu Ming and Su Feifei.

I really don't know how Liu Ming mixed up at the bottom, the level of this guy's cards is just one word - rotten, more than ten cards down, this guy is basically about to lose the industry in the underworld to me and Su Feifei, it is estimated that if you play two more, his company will change its surname.

Just as Liu Ming once again asked to change seats on the grounds of feng shui problems in his position, the doorbell suddenly rang.

As soon as I opened the door, I found two men, and I was looking at a man in his forties, wearing a black suit, with cold, sharp eyes, and behind him a young man in his twenties, wearing sunglasses and carrying a computer bag.

I was about to ask who they were, but something suddenly occurred to me, if they were my colleagues, if I asked them like this, it would definitely arouse their suspicions, so I smiled and didn't speak, just waiting for them to speak.

Then, we just stood in front of my house for half an hour.

Nima, these two people didn't even speak!

During this time, I saw multiple emotions in the eyes of the middle-aged man, doubts, surprises, and incomprehension. Of course, I was not idle, and in this half hour, I shot twelve mosquitoes to death.

Grandson, I'm still spending it with you! My waist and thin legs were a little sore because I had been standing for too long, so I went into the room and got a chair, came back to the door and sat down, and then looked at the middle-aged man.

Bacheng was shocked by my momentum, and the middle-aged man finally spoke: "Hello, Wang Damin, I am Zhang Qiang of the National Security Bureau, in charge of the affairs of the National Security Bureau in Coal City, this is my assistant Li Yang, can I go in and talk to you." As he spoke, he took out a document from his bosom and held it up to me.

Fortunately, it wasn't my colleague, Nima startled me, and while leading the two of them into the house, I wanted to explain what had happened for half an hour, when suddenly, I realized a problem.

This guy says he's from the NSA? How did you find me? Is it because of something in the Public Security Bureau? No way? Even if you really have an affair these days, it's just a criticism and warning, and you can't find national security, right? In my impression, Guoan is the existence of the FBI and the S.H.I.E.L.D., and the staff in it are all the characters of Tom, I never dreamed that one day I would meet a real person.

Doubts are doubts, but the smile on my face is a little more, this is a real master, I have to leave a good impression on others.

After arranging for the two of them to sit on the sofa, I walked to the water dispenser and poured water for the two of them, at this time, I heard Li Yang behind me whisper to Zhang Qiang: "Zhang Ke, this kid is not insane, right?" Have you ever seen yourself and yourself playing landlord fights? ”

Bacheng thought that I couldn't hear their voices, so the cold Zhang Qiang explained to Li Yang: "You don't understand, this is called self-defeat, I have dealt with several cases of Go masters before, and they always do this!" ”

"Then why did he play us at the door for half an hour?"

"Who knows? Eighty percent is really problematic! ”

……

I took the cup, handed it to the two of them, and asked politely, "I don't know what the two of you are looking for me?" ”

Zhang Qiang smiled and nodded at Li Yang. Li Yang quickly took out a laptop from his computer bag and put it in front of Zhang Qiang.

"Mr. Wang, we have some things that are very confusing, I hope you can explain them." As he spoke, Zhang Qiang moved the computer in front of me and tossed his hand on the trackpad a few times, and then I saw a video.

There is a man in the video, limping, protecting his crotch with one hand, twisting his ass coquettishly, the pockets on both sides are bulging, and I don't know whose ** it is.

I just laughed twice, and suddenly, I felt that the scene in the video was somewhat familiar, Nima, isn't this my community? I said why is it so familiar, isn't this the ** me when I go out in the morning?

"See, right? Well, let's move on to the next paragraph. Zhang Qiang moved his finger and opened another video.

Obviously, I was standing on the side of the road, muttering something to the two pets on top of the dumpster, and after a minute or two, suddenly a group of strangely dressed teenagers rushed at me, and one of them picked up the dumpster and smashed my head...... Four or five minutes later, I honestly took out two hundred dollars and handed it to a young man......

Seeing this, I couldn't help but glance at the illusory Li Ming on the sofa, and Zhang Qiang and Li Yang were suddenly a little surprised.

I can guess it's like you're chatting nicely with a friend, and then your friend looks at you meaningfully, and I promise, you're going to feel cold......

"Section Chief Zhang, please continue." Finding the problem, I hurriedly smiled at Zhang Qiang and motioned for him to continue.

"Why do you ......" It is estimated that he wanted to ask me how I knew that he was the section chief, and he might have realized the problem that was getting darker and darker, Zhang Qiang began to continue the topic just now: "You are also very strange, right?" And what's more! ”

After speaking, Zhang Qiang opened the third video.

In the picture, my nose and face are swollen, but I walk much more steadily, and I have completely lost the virtue of the morning, and I also know the scene, which is the road in front of the prison gate.

"These three videos were obtained from the cameras in your community, in front of the pet market, and in front of the prison, and we had a few questions, first, why did you do such a weird act before you went out in the morning? Is it giving someone a discovery number? Why did you behave normally in the following videos? Zhang Qiang looked at me with a sneer, imposing:

"Second, we want to know why you got beaten for some reason? And instead of calling the police, they gave them money? We checked and found that the young men were all local students and had no criminal record. We don't understand why they are violent to you, I just gave them a confession, they said that you molested their friends, but in the video, you obviously didn't talk to them. ”

Cold sweat ran down my head, it was obvious that I had been targeted, and these two people were very professional and asked sharp questions, and after a few seconds of silence, I opened my mouth to explain: "Actually, it's like this, I had a car accident and just woke up, so I was a little ......"

I had no choice but to fool them with the excuse of deceiving the police.

When I finished speaking, Zhang Qiang nodded: "We know what you said, and I understand it, but look at this!" ”

Zhang Qiang opened a video again, and unlike the previous three videos, I could not be seen in this video, but the impact recorded by an infrared recorder. Zhang Qiang started to jump the progress, and let me focus on comparing the two pictures.

The first picture is of me sitting on a chair, a cat and a dog sitting on my left and right, and there is a tall image opposite me, which is Wang Peng. There was also a video standing next to it, which was supposed to be the hapless prison guard. The images of all of us are orange, but the images of the two pets are red.

In the second picture, I was being grabbed by Wang Peng's neck, the kitten was already lying on the head of the prison guard, and Jingba was urinating on the prison guard's feet, but at the same time, my color changed to red, and the rest of the people and two pets turned orange.

Although, I was shocked, and although I had almost guessed that this change might be caused by the ghost's upper body, I had to look puzzled.

"How so?" I asked a question.

"We were also curious, and our colleagues in the technical department said that there are only two possibilities for this strange phenomenon: first, your two dogs have a high fever of 60 degrees, and then they recover instantly, and then you start to have a high fever of 60 degrees." Zhang Qiang explained.

"What about the second one?"

"The second is that you are taking some kind of very special drug, and it must be an extremely exciting, extremely crazy hallucinogenic drug!"

"You don't think I'm giving my pet Viagra, are you?" When I heard this possibility, I almost picked up an ashtray and smashed him!

Just kidding, how can I say that I am also a decent gentleman, last night, I was in the same bed at the same time with a woman and a female ghost, and I could guard myself like jade, is that like having eaten viagra?

"I can't rule out this reason." Zhang Qiang smiled bitterly and made a color at Li Yang. Then, Li Yang took out a needle from his pocket and smiled lewdly at me.

"What for?" I grabbed the ashtray and took a defensive stance.

"Don't get me wrong. You have two options, first, find a reasonable explanation to convince us both. Second, let's take blood and take it back for testing. After speaking, Zhang Qiang closed the computer, and then stared at me with a smile.

Time passed minute by minute, it is estimated that after a while, I am afraid that Liu Qian will come back, I gritted my teeth, stretched out my arm, and said to Zhang Qiang: "Smoke, remember to inform me of the results of the physical examination!" ”