With good people, people usually feel tired and depressed. If you can't change this mentality, then it's hard to be friends with great people, and it's even harder to learn from them. In this way, the value is not enhanced. Many people do nothing all their lives, not because they have no opportunities, but because they refuse to learn from the masters.

Therefore, if you can't find your own value and can't see the direction of the future, then it is recommended that you start by making friends with excellent people, and in the process of communicating feelings with them, you will naturally be well nurtured.

In today's "people-oriented" society, whether a person can succeed often does not depend on how many truths he knows, nor on how many skills he has mastered, nor on how highly educated he is, but on what kind of people he knows and what kind of people he is willing to rely on. Even if you only have one very important person in your friend, as long as you are close enough, then he is likely to contribute to your big progress; If you have a lot of very powerful friends around you, then your future will not be underestimated.

On the journey to success, you must not only rely on your own efforts, but also constantly improve the level of your network. If you want to improve your own value, you must keep looking for people with higher value.

If Hu Xueyan hadn't met Wang Youling, then he might not have been able to become a "red-top businessman" in the future, Zhang Liang hadn't met the old man Huangshi, and his role in life might just be a smart person, not a "strategist" founding minister; There are countless examples of this......

Some people attribute this change in life roles to "fate", believing that people are a pawn of fate, and they can't meet strange people. It's not up to you to decide. Is that really the case? If this is the case, then Liu Bei does not need to "look at the thatched house three times". Zhang Liang doesn't need to "Fengqiao three pick-ups".

There is a saying in Huaguo: Birds accompany Luan and phoenix to fly far, and people are virtuous and virtuous. Your efforts are not just about improving your abilities. It should also focus on improving the quality of your network. You are a small person because you are in the circle of small people.

Most people are ordinary people and live an ordinary life, which is not bad, but if you want to make yourself and your family live better, you want to make more achievements, and you want to live a vigorous life, you can choose a faster and easier track of success, that is, to take the initiative to make friends with your nobles. Take the initiative to step into your circle of nobles. You're still a small character? It doesn't matter, as long as you know the big names in certain industries or related fields to you, and step into the circle of those big names, you won't have to worry about the day of your future! Your success could come naturally!

Many people think that this is too dark. Actually, those big people or nobles are very important to everyone, just like soil is to flowers, water is to fish. Without them, success would often be incredibly difficult.

Some German psychologists have done such a survey, they have conducted a 15-year "growth tracking" of 300 students who graduated from some famous public primary schools in 1990. When the tracking results are finally collated. They discovered an intriguing phenomenon.

After 15 years, these 300 students have all entered the workplace from school and have made achievements in their own jobs. 70 people have been promoted and reused to become elites in the workplace. Incredibly, among these 70 people. When I was in elementary school, 40 people wrote letters to the principal. Thirty-six people had intimate conversations with the principal, and 23 had lunch with the principal. Final statistics. Of the 70 people, only 2 have never met the principal, less than 3% of the total number.

It is hard to imagine that 68 of the 70 students who were the first to be recognized by society and the first to find their value in life had a common inducement - to meet the principal in elementary school.

Psychologists, of course, did not dare to draw rash conclusions, after repeated analysis and research, they found some rules, all those who can get acquainted with the principal when they are in elementary school generally have three characteristics: one is not afraid of authority, the second is good at communicating with others, and the third is willing to express themselves in front of the "big man". It is because of these three characteristics that they can easily grow into "big shots".

However, for those who are far away from the principal of the elementary school, they are always very cautious in their lives, "do not dare to raise their voices, for fear of the heavenly people", such people can of course succeed, but they will always encounter more setbacks and tribulations.

When the results of the study were published, there was an immediate uproar. Many primary schools quickly carried out activities to guide children to care about current affairs, the environment, and others through different forms such as writing letters, sending emails, and making phone calls, and then let the children get to know the principal and various "big people" at an early age.

This research can give us a revelation, that is, the reason why some people are small characters is because they always like to live in the circle of small people, and they do not dare to associate with big people, let alone take the initiative to interact with noble circles. Because this circle of little people makes them feel comfortable, without pressure, and without an inferiority complex. This is not to disparage a certain group, but to tell the truth in terms of personal development.

Little people, most of them give people a small vision and a small realm; Big shots, of course, can bring a big vision and a big realm. If you are surrounded by small people, the ultra-low standard of living makes you very satisfied with your current state and lose the desire to struggle. If you're surrounded by little people, then all you see are trivial things, all your excitement. Affection will drown in these trivialities; If you are surrounded by small people, you have no object to learn from, no ladder to rely on, and naturally you will not be able to enter the wider world.

If you have one or two big people around you, then every day when you see him living in style, you will have feelings such as envy and jealousy, and under the inspiration of this emotion, you will naturally have the desire and excitement to struggle. Feeling. If you have one or two big people around you, then a word or two from him may make you pause; If you have one or two big people around you, then a "boost action" from the big people may make you rise to the top.

This is the reason why there is a phenomenon in nature that "dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and the sons of mice make holes". In 2009, in "Cloud. In "The Sound of the South", there is a little girl who is particularly eye-catching, and her dancing skills are amazing. It wasn't until she was asked about her origin that people suddenly realized that she was Yang Liping's niece-Little Bunting. With the personal attention and love of world-famous dancers, coupled with their own hard work and talent, it is difficult not to succeed.

The ancient "Meng's mother's three neighbors" is also a powerful explanation. The harsh environment is really a terrifying thing, and it will create a circle for people -- an artificial "tightening spell" that restricts people's progress and growth. Everyone lives in a social group, and the network is the background of their growth, and what kind of background they have, what kind of life they will have.

The ancients said: The room of Lanzhi is fragrant with it, and the abalone is smelly with it. In fact, whether in school or in society, getting acquainted with authority will help to form such a chain of progress: contact with the "big man" -- understanding the "big man" -- being understood by the "big man" -- seeing the wise and thinking alike and learning from the "big man" -- sharpening one's conduct and laying a good foundation for becoming a "big man" -- being appreciated by the "big man" -- getting encouragement and opportunities from the "big man" -- becoming a big man.

After all, there are not many natural big people, and extraordinary qualities and characters need to be learned to forge in order to achieve, so stop worshipping the famous saying "gold will always shine", enter the higher social circles, enter the world of those so-called big people, try to improve the quality of your friends, form a high-quality network circle, you are easier to expand your horizons, easier to succeed. However, many people can't easily enter another circle, and the reason is that everyone likes the one that is most comfortable. As long as you can break through this self-imposed limit, you will be able to do anything. This is the concept of "comfort zone" that we will introduce in the next section.

There is a term in psychology called comfort zone, which refers to the degree to which people feel comfortable in different situations.

People feel safe in a place they are familiar with, in a crowd they are familiar with. The comfort zone is a necessity for our survival, but because there is no pressure and no sense of urgency, in the comfort zone, people will become lax and their potential cannot be stimulated. For growth and maturity, breaking through self-imposed limits and stepping out of your comfort zone is the only necessary condition.

The same is true for socializing. A lot of people always emphasize: I'm not good at socializing, I don't like to talk in front of strangers. This language is often used by people who emphasize their uniqueness, in order to block the flood of interpersonal interactions, and choose to communicate only with people of their own kind. But for those who are afraid of socializing, the meaning of these words is less optimistic.

It is human nature to have a fear of the unknown, but growing up is a process of breaking through fear. If you let fear control your life, you will not have the opportunity to explore and discover, and you will not understand the meaning of life more broadly. Therefore, in the study of success, people have said that we should jump out of the comfort zone and enter a broader world in order to have better development and greater success.

This kind of success advice can also be used to develop networking, if you only live with people you know, if you only survive in the circle of friends you feel comfortable with, your network will slowly dry up. Because without new friends, you will have less information, among old friends you lose the ability to spread information, and the only way for you to maintain relationships is the so-called relationship, and there are constant habits. In this age where information is life, unless your friends are also a bunch of old people, no one wants to repeat the monotonous pattern of life for many years. (To be continued......)