"When, when~~~", in front of the old teaching building, the bald doorman just rang the bell for the end of class, and the hoarse professor was talking so that the bruises on his neck were rising, and after hearing the bell, he stopped abruptly like a radio power failure, picked up the book and walked out of the classroom. The relationship between the teacher and the student in the undergraduate classroom is like the relationship between the doctor and the patient in a psychiatric hospital, everyone is in the same room and is very busy, but neither of them knows what the other person is doing or what the effect is, and in the eyes of the students, the teacher is often just a sleeping pill.

I raised my head in a daze, glanced at a large pool of saliva on the table, poked the top girl next to me with my elbow, and asked a little confusedly, "Beauty, what class is this?" English? There's a lot of English letters on the blackboard, I don't know any of them! ”

After asking, I suddenly realized that the object of my inquiry was the famous inner beauty of our chemistry department, because I really can't see the external beauty. I was regretting that I shouldn't have asked, but Inner Beauty really rolled a single eyelid with a large and a small eyelid to give me a white of my eye, and let out a sound from my nostrils: "Social silverfish!" This section is "Analytical Chemistry", and the blackboard is full of English equations! ”

Even though I had forgotten how to write the word "silverfish", it was clearly an insult, so I wrote a line on the table with a marker on my face, "I'm Les, a like-minded person" and left her phone number. I also wiped it with my hand to make sure that the marker was sure that it could not be erased firmly, and then I was satisfied.

Nima, I'm actually a scholar, but I just want to try what the world of scumbags is like, but I can't come back as soon as I go in, what kind of big-tailed wolf are you in front of me?

At this time, the mobile phone that was turned off in class buzzed, and I looked down and received dozens of text messages, all of which were: "I'm waiting for you outside the teaching building, come out quickly!" ”

As soon as I walked out of the classroom door, I saw a lewd old man squatting on the flower bed next to the teaching building. An old liar who has been missing for 3 months!

As soon as the old liar saw me, before I could open his mouth to scold him, he ran over in a hurry and pulled me: "Hurry up, find a place where no one is, it's too late!" ”

Now at this point, no one is our dormitory, the three idiots and the fourth go out for internships, Luo Yongqing rarely comes, and I am basically alone in the dormitory.

Seeing that the old liar was indeed full of anxiety, it didn't look like he was joking, it was estimated that there was really something big, I took three steps and two steps, and led the old liar back to the dormitory.

As soon as the old liar entered the dormitory, he sat down on my bed, pinched his fingers and calculated, and only after half a minute did he take a long breath and say to me, "There is still time for a stick of incense, and there is still time to prepare!" ”

I'm completely confused now, and I'm dumbfounded, "What are you going to prepare?" What is the time of incense? You'll make it clear to me! ”

The old liar smiled mysteriously, and there was an irrepressible excitement in his voice: "Boy, good things are coming!" ”

"Phew! You're here! I spat him, "Your good things are coming, your aunt is also here, and your menstruation is irregular!" ”

The old liar was probably excited, and he didn't think it was angry at all, and lowered his voice and said, "Didn't I write a letter to it last time?" The top management has paid attention, and now there are big leaders who want to see you! ”

As soon as I heard it, this is a bit of a score, science is still science, and the arrival speed of the paper report is about the same as the day I calculated! I was also a little excited, and quickly asked, "Big leader?" How much leadership? ”

"Haotian Jinque Supreme Supreme Nature, Mi Luo Supreme Jade Emperor God's throne, law enforcement Heavenly Venerable, Qingyuan Miao Dao True Monarch!"

"Speak human words!" I lifted the crystal spatula.

"The Jade Emperor, his nephew, Erlang, wants to see you!" The old liar hurriedly jumped on the bed and winked at me, "I haven't seen Erlang God a few times in more than 2,000 years of flying up, and he actually wants to see you by name, a mortal!" ”

"Erlang God? Three-eyed one? "I'm a little dissatisfied, I don't have a good impression of Erlang God, he has a holiday with my idol Monkey King, "Didn't you say the big leader?" ”

The old liar was anxious, and Mao Jiao shouted angrily: "Erlang Zhenjun, Heavenly Law Enforcement Tianzun, the number one person in the Heavenly Realm, is not a big leader?" ”

Hmph, Erlang God is the number one person? Lie to me less, bully me for reading less?

I slammed a spatula at the old liar: "Isn't the Heavenly Realm Boss the Jade Emperor?" Erlang God and the Jade Emperor are not right, you and I don't know about those filthy lace news in your heavenly realm? ”

The old liar smiled: "The Jade Emperor basically doesn't care about anything, Erlang God is now the Law Enforcement Heavenly Venerable, and he is in charge of Heavenly Punishment!" ”

I thought about it and didn't understand it a little: "To put it bluntly, isn't he the secretary of the Discipline Inspection Committee of the Heavenly Realm?" Nowadays, it is the big man who manages people, money, and materials in the government! ”

"Let's go-" The old liar saw me raise the spatula and quickly swallowed the "fart", "The heavenly realm doesn't worry about eating or drinking, where do you need anything to manage people and property, the most powerful is the Erlang God who is in charge of the 'Temple of Eliminating Evil', and I was demoted by him with a big stroke of the pen!" Perhaps, in a few tens of thousands of years, the Jade Emperor will give up his seat to him! ”

"Don't lie to me, the Jade Emperor will give up his seat to him, not afraid that he will wear small shoes for himself?" I'm kind of convinced.

"Broken bones and tendons, only one of the nine sons of the Jade Emperor was reorganized by Hou Yi, and he was psychologically stimulated to go crazy, and he had seizures at every turn, and the remaining seven daughters were all daughters, and this throne was not passed on to his nephew to outsiders?" The old liar shook his head and sighed.

"Immortals can also get sheep madness?" It's the first time I've heard this, and I'm immediately interested.

The old liar really can't help it, I didn't expect that I didn't care about the business at all, I was so interested in lace news, and I got rid of a male version of the "little nurse", so I had to explain: "Hou Yi shot eight arrows to kill the Jade Emperor's eight sun sons, and the last one was so frightened that he suffered from sheep epilepsy, and every once in a while, you scientists call it 'sunspot eruption', in fact, the sun is mad!" ”

I was satisfied now, and suddenly remembered something, and asked the old liar: "No! You reported to the heavenly realm that someone would use immortal arts, how could it be on my head, and Erlang God still wanted to see me by name? Say! ”

The old liar was stunned for a moment, but he didn't expect me to figure this out so quickly, and after a long time, he said in a hurry: "I'm worried that the amount of reporting materials is insufficient, and I also reported the matter of 'Bi Xijue' recognizing you as the master!" ”

As soon as I heard it, it was angry, and I slapped it directly on the pan and roared: "You sold me for a shit?" Traitor to seek glory, you old liar, in case the world sends someone to dissect me and retrieve 'Bi Xi Jue', I won't let you go if I become a ghost! ”

The old liar was slapped by me, and howled in a toad voice while hiding: "No, it's a good thing, it's a good thing, you believe me, no one can take away the treasure!" The time has come, and I am ready to welcome Erlang Zhenjun, please ......"

I heard the old liar say that he was sincere, it seems that it is indeed a good thing, if the gods want to kill me, it is like stepping on an ant to death, and I still need a leading cadre like Erlang God to meet me in person? The few guards at Nantianmen had more than enough to sneeze and kill me, so they stopped and asked the old liar, "What are you going to prepare?" Ready to burn paper? ”

The old liar laughed dryly: "How can it? What kind of identity and supernatural power does Erlang Zhenjun have, as long as he casts a wisp of divine consciousness possession! By the way, do you have a Buddha statue here? ”

"Nope!" Ask some, how can there be a Buddha statue in the dormitory?

"Is there a jade humanoid sculpture or something?"

"Nope!"

"There's always a doll in the form of a human, right?" The old liar was a little flustered, "The gods of the heavenly realm project their divine consciousness to the mortal world, and they must be projected on humanoid statues, the golden Buddha statue is the best, the jade sculpture is second, and the worst must be a humanoid rag doll!" ”

I was also a little dazed, I didn't expect there to be so many rules, and hurriedly asked the old liar: "Why don't I go to the girls' dormitory to borrow a 'crayon Xiaoxin'?" "I remember that the fourth fool once gave the lover of his dreams a doll of "Crayon Xiaoxin", and he showed a little finch in a very hooligan manner, I wonder if Jiro Shinji would mind possessing it?

"It's too late!" The old liar cried with a sad face, walked around the dormitory for a while, and finally his eyes lit up, and he picked up Luo Yongqing's inflatable doll imported from the United States, "I have to use it!" ”

/* If you like it, please collect, recommend, reward, all kinds of requests! A little finger will be the biggest motivation for the creation of the old flying demon! Thank you*/