Text/Lu Sihao

(a)

Sometimes I deliberately avoid some songs because I am afraid of hearing my previous self. It's like at a certain stage, you don't go through the previous photos and status, you tell yourself that it was the former you, and the former yourself was a big fool.

People probably grow up in the constant denial of their past selves.

Truly.

However, there is another voice within you that tells you that the reason you are putting your past self in the trash can is that you are afraid to face your former self. You're afraid of a huge sense of loss when you see who you used to be.

This sense of loss comes from the distance between the current you and the imaginary you.

Just like no matter how much you classify petty feelings as hypocrisy, your dreams as ignorance, and your falling in love with others as blindness, you can't deny that some mistakes cannot be avoided and some things should be kept. It's like a song in the zài earphones, after so many years, there has been no change at all. And it's no wonder what kind of changes you can expect them to make. But when you see the people singing these songs, still standing on the stage for so many years, you feel like you've been smacked in the mouth, once you were pedestrians walking side by side, once you would go to see some movies and some books, and now you, probably at some point, are dead.

And then you start repeating your life, day after day, year after year.

(b)

God bless those who have dreams.

Although I don't know if God really exists, maybe even if God really exists, He will not be able to bless so many people. He has to be fair, whether you have a dream or not, you have to live in this world. Accept what you don't want to accept and learn the facts you don't know.

That's why I especially admire people who have dreams. When I was a child, I had dreams and naively thought that they would all come true, and at that time I thought it was like we would grow up after all, and it was an extraordinarily natural thing. He was brave because of ignorance. And when a person grows up, after understanding that the world is not made up of flowers and applause, he can still stick to his dreams, this kind of thing is called courage.

I admit that I haven't listened to the songs I used to have for a long time, whether it's the Slam Dunk theme song, or Mayday, or Jay Chou, or even Tao Zhe before. I also haven't watched Friends or Slam Dunk for a long time, and I haven't paid attention to Digimon since Digimon came out in the fourth installment.

There was a time when I felt like I didn't like these things anymore and said to myself that this was growth. When I went to the concert, I found that there were more and more fans, but I was not as fanatical as I was at the beginning. At that time, I had a huge disappointment, not because I was afraid that they were not good enough on stage, but because I was afraid that I would eventually become the self I used to dislike.

Fortunately, when I listen to certain songs and see certain messages, I can still have some strange chemical reactions. It's like the qiē around me has slowed down, only I am as usual, and the sounds around me are gone, and I can hear myself in addition to the song in my ear. It's not them in front of me, it's his mother's former self.

(c)

I've lived alone for six years, and I've had a lot of people coming and going. I felt more and more like I was living on the moon, and the air around me was nearly thin out of a strange sense of loneliness. It's not that I don't want to meet new people, it's just that it's hard for someone like me to be lazy to manage a new relationship, and secondly, I have already formed a fixed circle of friends. Although this circle is getting smaller and smaller as it grows, there is no need to expand it at all, and it is self-sufficient.

The side effect of living alone for too long is that it becomes more and more self-ego. Sometimes I even feel that I am a bystander of my own life, and I feel that there is nothing difficult for me to pour myself when I look calm when I am busy. It may not be a side effect when I think about it once in a while, but even though I am forced to live alone, I inevitably have more time for myself.

And today I suddenly figured out something, the kind of rhythm that you get when you hear a song you like, you see a movie that used to be, when you go to their concert, it's nothing else, it's your own thing. That's the old you, you who found their CDs in a shabby video store, who sent notes to the girls you liked, who blushed like a stupid person, and who swore that you would make your dreams come true.

Those things don't just disappear, but they become some kind of note and some kind of rhythm hidden in your body. When you're lost beyond measure, when you're alone, when you have self-doubt, it comes out in time. It's so coincidental, because that's exactly what you save yourself.

(iv)

After all, you are the only one who can save yourself. If you don't have that little bit of hope left in your heart, you won't listen to those songs and see those things, you won't be able to resonate with those things, and you will even have disgust. And it's you who makes you feel this.

However, when you are forced to keep up physically and mentally because time flies too quickly, some things are forgotten by you. It's like the feeling of being left after a long flight, probably because your body is too fast and your brain hasn't kept up.

So at this time, it is very important to be able to appear in your life and support you. I remember that in the first three years of living alone, I always watched an episode of Friends and an episode of Slam Dunk before going to bed, and I don't remember how many times I watched it now. My phone is full of Mayday, Eminem, Maroon5 songs, and I can't remember how many times I've listened to them. I was somewhat dependent at the time, so I still can't explain to anyone why I can't contain my excitement whenever I see that poster from Friends.

You will eventually have to face loneliness, whether you want it or not, and the sooner you can accept that loneliness is inevitable, the better, and the sooner you can start your own life. Some people have been escaping loneliness and boredom all their lives, giving up many things and being happy; Some people have passed the bottleneck in an instant, accepted their current life very quickly, and changed the world with their talents. And I'm not the former or the latter, I'm not smart and I don't want to give up, so it took me a long time.

It takes a lot of courage to stick to your dreams in the face of life. This kind of courage is sometimes difficult to form, but once it is formed, it is difficult to see the hope of perseverance. The same goes for the rhythm of life, sometimes you can't find your own rhythm of life and you are dragged into the torrent of reality, and once you find your rhythm, it is difficult to change. And this courage and rhythm requires great loneliness to support.

Even though you are human and you need the warmth of your other half, you have to be in a world of your own before that, because no one can be by your side all the time, not even your other half. Speaking of such a thing as warming each other, both parties have to have a temperature, so why do you want others to warm you who is extremely cold?

So I hope you can experience a long period of loneliness, don't be afraid of loneliness, don't be afraid to face your former self. Admit your previous stupidity and mistakes, but don't use the past to implicate your future. The world isn't made of flowers and applause, but it's not as bad as you think. Listen to the songs that once moved you, see the people around you who have always persevered, take a little bit from it, and slowly turn it into your thing.

On the subway in the early morning, in the vegetable market at dusk, in the early hours of the morning, you may be anxious, have a headache and stay up late, but there is always a moment when you can suddenly hear your rhythm. And then, you know how much these lonely days have made you grow.

Therefore, dear friends, may you no longer be afraid of loneliness, no longer afraid of facing your previous self, no longer anxious to seek external security, but can find the strength of stability from yourself, find the courage to persevere, and find your own rhythm. It is your own strength, which is enough to replace the sun in your night.

===Divide the line ===

I feel that after reading the above text, there are many things I want to say!

However, at this time, there is no sound or a voice!