Chapter 330: Love is Unspeakable [Qin Nansi]

In the cloudy capital, the light rain is sprinkled, the cemetery is solemn and quiet, and the air is dyed with the smell of coldness and death.

It's the beginning of spring again, the dead branches give birth to green shoots, and the crystal clear water droplets fall silently. A man dressed in black laid a bouquet of flowers in front of the tombstone, and a boy of seven or eight years old standing next to him also held a bouquet of blooming tulip flowers in his arms.

"Xi Feng, kowtow to Uncle Yan."

"Oh." The beautiful little boy put the flowers in front of the tombstone next to his father's bouquet, and then knelt in front of the tombstone in a regular manner, knocked his head three times, and stood up with water stains on his knee pants, which was a little cold.

He didn't quite know who this Uncle Yan was, but every year today, his father would bring himself to worship him and kowtow three times, even if it was his mother, his father had never been so cautious. In other words, for as long as he can remember, his father has never mentioned his mother, and he has never worshiped his mother, and every year his grandparents take him to worship his mother.

My grandparents all said that my mother died of a serious illness, and some people said that my mother did not die at all, but just betrayed my father and ran away with other men.

Qin Xifeng never asked his father which was true and which was false, because every time someone mentioned his mother, his father's expression was extremely heavy and gloomy, and he seemed to be very reluctant to hear his mother's name, and over time, no one dared to face him.

Qin Nansi squatted down and wiped the water on his clothes with a tissue, his expression was calm and unfazed, if he looked closely, he could catch the scars and pain under his eyes.

His mother died a few years ago, leaving him and Xi Feng to rely on each other, and in recent years, his temperament has become more and more introverted and quiet, and he rarely speaks. The whole person was lifeless, as if there was no longer the breath of a living person.

"You go to the car and wait for me first." Qin Nansi put the car keys in his hand.

Although Xi Feng is small, he is very smart and obedient, and the security around him is also good, so he has nothing to worry about.

"Okay." Qin Xifeng held the car keys, turned around and walked down the stairs step by step. Every year my father is like this, and he is used to it.

Halfway up the stairs, he suddenly stopped, suddenly a little curious, weishenme every time his father has to go first by himself, what is he doing here?

Qin Xifeng didn't continue to walk down, turned around and looked in the direction of the tombstone, walked back a few steps, and walked to the corresponding position of the point below.

Qin Nansi walked to the tombstone, his thin fingers gently caressing the black and white photo, his outline was still the same, warm and clean. He bent down, pressed his forehead against the cold tombstone, and slowly closed his eyes......

Qin Xifeng saw his broad shoulders trembling slightly, moved two steps to change positions, and was directly stunned in place.

From his point of view, he could just see his father's tears welling up.

The young master asks for the dividing line of the monthly pass************

Long Lifei and Long Ziqi flew to the United States at the age of fifteen to study, Xi Feng was young and needed to be taken care of, Qin Nansi did not continue to stay in the presidential palace, applied for resignation, and opened a café in the national capital.

The scale is not big or small, and the profit is just enough to sustain life. There are only two clerks in the store, a girl and a young boy who has just come out of college to work part-time.

In addition to picking up Xi Feng to and from school, Qin Nansi spends most of his time in the coffee shop on weekdays, and has no other entertainment. In the past two years, Rong Chen often came back to sit, he looked at Qin Nansi's eyes were gloomy, cold and piercing, and from time to time he said a few sneering words, Qin Nansi never took it to heart, even if it was a vicious verbal humiliation.

On the night Huang Rong died, Rong Chen drank a lot of wine, his body was full of wine, and his eyes were sloppy and he stumbled in. At that time, there were no customers in the store, and Qin Nansi was doing hygiene alone.

Rong Chen lay on the bar, laughed lowly, and muttered a sentence repeatedly on his lips: "She's finally dead...... She was tortured and finally died......"

The thick fan-like eyelashes quietly covered the eyes, and then oozing a teardrop the size of a bean across the corners of the mouth, which looked particularly unreal in the light.

Qin Nansi knew that his tears were not because of Huang Rong, but because of Bai Yan. The woman who killed Bai Yan died tortured to death. Do you see the white words in heaven?

Qin Nansi didn't go back in the evening, and accompanied Rong Chen in the café all night. He sat at the table, not knowing when he fell asleep, and when he woke up, the café was empty, and he was the only one left.

He knew that Rong Chen would never come again in the future.

Ye Ni is dead, Huang Rong is dead, and the people who killed Bai Yan are all gone. Rong Chen, when he sees himself, he will only want to speak more in vain, so he will not come again.

Later, Qin Nansi never saw Rong Chen again until the news of his death came out. On the day of Rong Chen's funeral, it was raining, he stood in the crowd and saw the funeral convoy moving forward in an orderly manner, and the boy with clear eyebrows slowly walked in front with Rong Chen's portrait......

He immediately recognized the boy as the college student who worked part-time at his café. It turned out that he was Rong Chen's person!

On the third day after Rong Chen's funeral, the boy came to the café. He sat down and said straight to the point: "In the future, I can't come again." ”

Qin Nansi handed him the salary that had already been prepared: "I know, take care." ”

The boy was stunned, he didn't expect his reaction to be so calm, his clear eyes looked at him for a long time, Nanji looked at him, and seemed to see another person in these eyes.

That person also has a pair of eyes that are not stained with dust, clean and pure.

"Don't you want to ask me what's going on?" Rong Yu's red lips are a little different from boys, and his thin body is a little weak, and he has a feminine beauty.

Who would have thought that such a young man would be the head of the Rong family, a new generation of family heads.

Qin Nansi's expression was calm, and he invited him to drink a cup of Americano: "I don't want to know." "He has lost interest in everything, and the only reason to support his life is only three words: Qin Xifeng.

Rong Yu's face turned pale, and he took a sip of the coffee cup, and the bitter taste spread on the tip of his tongue, all the way to the deepest part of his heart. Regardless of whether Qin Nansi would listen or not, he said in a low voice: "Rong Chen is my uncle, I know him and know your business, because we are the same kind of people." ”

He saw a picture of the man in his uncle's drawer, slowly inquired about them, and followed his uncle's footsteps to get here. Something hidden in his heart broke through the ground in an instant, and he seemed to vaguely understand something.

For example, I don't like to be intimate with the opposite sex, for example, I am curious about the man in front of me! The closer you get, the more curious you become, and the more you know, the more you want to get closer. Those things that had been suppressed for a long time seemed to be released in an instant, and he suddenly realized that he liked men, just like his uncle!

What kind of people are the same kind of people?

"The person that my uncle likes, doesn't he like you? I thought you didn't like him, but during all my time working here, I found that you loved him more than anyone else, and loved him more than my uncle! But you didn't want him in the first place? ”

Qin Nansi paused as he wiped his hand from the cup, his eyes looked at him, and a faint trace of pain flashed.

Oh, yes! Weishenme didn't want him in the first place? If you can be brave, isn't it him sitting in front of you now!

"He's dead, you're still alive!" Rong Yu pursed his lips and looked at him with shining eyes: "I like you, I want to ......"

"You'll go back after your coffee." Qin Nansi's faint voice interrupted him, his eyes looked out of the glass window, and his subordinates were still waiting for Rong Yu: "Don't let them wait too long!" ”

Rong Yu's face turned pale, and the hands hanging beside him involuntarily tightened into fists: "Weishenme? When a person dies, he will never live! Weishenme not looking for a new beginning? You have a long way to go......"

Weishenme wants to immerse herself in the silent shijie, allowing her sadness and numbness to swallow herself.

Qin Nansi's unwavering gaze met his unwilling gaze, and after a moment of silence, a heavy voice sounded: "The only thing I can do in the long future is to think about him." ”

That's why he still breathes at the moment.

In this life, he can't have the strength to love others anymore, because his heart is occupied by a man named Bai Ziyan, and the crowd is about to explode, and there is no longer the slightest gap left for others.

"Do you want to do this for the rest of your life?" Rong Yu's black and white pupils widened and stared at him quietly, as if he couldn't believe it!

Qin Nansi didn't speak, the relationship between him and Bai Yan didn't need to be explained to others, and he was concise: "I'm not the same kind of person as you. ”

Rong Chen and Rong Yu both like men, but he is not. He just fell in love with someone, and it just so happened that this person was a man. You can't be any other man......

Today, he finally began to understand Bai Yan's feelings, but unfortunately that person is no longer there. But it doesn't matter, his ring finger is wearing a wedding ring that belongs to them, and the soul mate in his heart is only Bai Yan! His feelings for Bai Yan are unwavering, transcending life and death! Regardless of whether Bai Yan was alive or dead, he never felt separated from Bai Yan.

Although this belief came too late and too late, Bai Yan was already waiting for all his thoughts and despair!

Rong Yu looked at him, his eyes were a little red, and his eyes fell little by little on the ring hanging around his neck and the pair he was wearing on his finger. His heart was tight, he didn't know that this man was dull and silent these days, nor did he not know how twists and turns and pain he had with that person at the beginning.

What is more painful on this shijie than being in love but not being able to stay together? What could hurt more than death.

He likes this man, but he never gets into his heart.

When his uncle died, he had to take on the entire Rong family alone, and perhaps it would be difficult for him to even see this person from now on.

Picking up the coffee cup in front of him, the coffee was already cold, and he drank it all, cold and bitterness intertwined all the way down the esophagus, and every drop flowed into the deepest part of his heart. When I put down the empty cup, I also seemed to let go of my infatuation with him.

Standing up, he bowed respectfully: "Thank you for taking care of me all these years, zaijian." ”

Qin Nansi looked at him quietly, and his thin lips pursed out two words: "zaijian." ”

Don't force what you can't afford to give, and don't force what you can't afford. He was powerless to respond to anyone's feelings, so naturally he would not give anyone the slightest hope, the voice fell, Rong Yu had not yet walked out of the café, he had already lowered his eyes and continued to wipe the cup, as if he had only sent away a customer who was destined for one side.

Rong Yu walked to the door, paused, couldn't help but look back at him, he lowered his head and wiped the cup very seriously, his eyes were red, he pulled his lips inexplicably and smiled inexplicably, and then pushed the door and left.

How many bloody lives have been buried by the Rong family, how many dirty pasts have been buried, including himself! I came today with the attitude of giving it a try, and the result was the same as expected!

That's fine, at least something, I told you! In this life, there are no regrets!

The young master asked for the dividing line of the recommendation ticket******************

Qin Nansi continued to live his life peacefully, and Rong Yu completely disappeared into his shijie. Former subordinates would occasionally come to his café to drink coffee, and when they chatted about Rong Yu, they would say the same four words about him: cruel and ruthless.

Qin Nansi was always unheard, and once he saw Rong Yu in an online video. He has grown taller, his silhouette is becoming more and more cold and hard, and there is a dark aura all over his body, and he is no longer the little boy with red eyes and a thick neck who will be embarrassed by customers in a few words.

Those black and white eyes that were not stained with a trace of dust gradually turned brown after too much war and killing, and they no longer looked like that person.

Before the news was finished that day, the wind chimes at the door rang, and a shadow walked in, and the light of his eyes wandered between the long figure and the video. Sitting on the high chair, he pursed his lips and said, "He's not a little boy who blushes when he secretly looks at you anymore." ”

Qin Nansi gave her a cup of hot chocolate and said in a deep voice: "He was just confused for a while. ”

Because Rong Chen likes men, because their story is too twists and turns, it is not surprising that Rong Yu was confused for a while.

Chu Bingyan drank hot chocolate, his eyes narrowed slightly, and he seemed to be smiling: "Why is your face so fond of Xiao Xianrou!" ”

"I heard that he has not been very happy since he got married, and he plans to divorce." Qin Nansi's faint voice couldn't hear the emotion, and the face of the woman sitting opposite him had sunk.

Chu Bingyan has been like this for so many years, no matter who mentions that person, she is like a great enemy, and the whole person is tense like a hedgehog!

Your Excellency and Mrs. have been very busy in the past few years, everyone has their own lives, Qin Nansi has guarded this shop and Xi Feng's life, which is neither good nor bad, and occasionally gathers with his former subordinates, and he rarely speaks.

Chu Bingyan would come to sit when he was fine, and when he was in a good mood, he would take the initiative to talk to him for a few words, and when he was in a bad mood, he would find a secluded corner and drink cup after cup of hot chocolate.

She is very close to Xi Feng, and Xi Feng looks at her every day. Qin Nansi somewhat understood Xi Feng's careful thoughts, no child would not be eager for maternal love. He can give Xi Feng a lot of love and care, but he can't give his mother's love, and he can't let others give Xi Feng mother's love.

Once he made a mistake, he would never make a second time.

The two of them were so quiet, neither of them spoke. The dust in the air was noisy, and the light of the sunset outside the glass window was faint and gradually fading, to be obscured by neon.

Qin Xifeng came down from upstairs after finishing his homework, and when he saw the slender figure sitting in front of the bar, he immediately showed a smile: "Aunt Bing!" ”

Chu Bingyan looked sideways and saw him, and immediately stood up, with a faint smile floating on his face: "Xiaofeng, come here......"

Qin Xifeng ran in front of her, his eyes shining: "Aunt Bing, are you here to see me and my father?" ”

"Hmm." Chu Bingyan nodded, and took the bag that was placed aside to him: "Try the clothes you bought, they don't fit." ”

"Aunt Xiexie." Qin Xifeng smiled, and looked up at Qin Nansi on the other side of the bar: "Dad, Aunt Bing is very good to us, right!" ”

Qin Nansi glanced at Chu Bingyan and didn't speak, just nodded!

Qin Xifeng hugged the bag, seeing that his reaction was still very cold, he continued to ask unwillingly: "Dad, don't you think Aunt Bing is very suitable to be a mother?" ”

As soon as these words came out, Qin Nansi's face quickly became gloomy, and he coldly squeezed out two words: "Xi Feng!" "The warning is self-evident!

In the past, as long as Qin Nansi came over with a cold look, Qin Xifeng immediately shrank his head and closed his eyes, not daring to speak. But today he didn't know what was wrong, he gambled in his heart, he felt that Aunt Bing was very good, how good it would be if the three of them became a family.

No one laughs at the fact that they don't have a mother anymore.

"I like Aunt Bing, I want Aunt Bing to be my mother!"

"Qin Xifeng, shut up! Go upstairs, immediately! Qin Nansi put down the cup in his hand, his strength was slightly greater, and his voice kept echoing in the huge space.

Qin Xifeng's eyes turned red when he reprimanded: "Aunt Bing is so good to us, you don't want her to be my mother!" I hate you, I hate you! ”

After saying that, he pulled his legs and ran upstairs.

Qin Nansi's face was pale, and his eyes helplessly shifted from Xi Feng's figure to Chu Bingyan, and he said slightly apologetically: "I'm sorry, the child is not sensible." ”

"It's okay!" Chu Bingyan was stunned for a moment, came back to his senses, and said lightly: "Don't you think Xi Feng really needs a mother?" ”

Qin Nansi was stunned, and there seemed to be disbelief in his eyes. Chu Bingyan chuckled: "I mean I can take him as a godson, and you also know that I can't be with anyone in this life!" ”

“xiexie！” Gratitude flowed from his deep eyes.

Chu Bingyan just smiled indifferently: "You're welcome, I just want someone to send him to the end!" Go up and see him! Children need to be coaxed! ”

***

Nan Si silently pushed open the door, Qin Xifeng lay on the bed crying, and there were clothes that Chu Bingyan bought for him next to him.

He walked over, took the paper from the bedside table and gave it to him, and said earnestly: "Xi Feng, what you said today is very rude. ”

Qin Xifeng snorted with a piece of paper, looked at him with red eyes, and was very aggrieved: "But I want Aunt Bing to be my mother!" ”

"This, no!"

“weishenme？” Tears welled up in my eyes again!

Qin Nansi looked at him, his eyes were very serious, and his big palm fell on his head and rubbed it gently: "Because Dad and Aunt Bing both love someone deeply in their hearts, there is no way to be together." ”

"Mommy?" Qin Xifeng didn't think so, and sure enough, he saw Qin Nansi shaking his head, "Who is the person that Dad loves deeply?" ”

Qin Nansi was silent, he didn't know how to talk to his young son.

Qin Xifeng thought of something, and said in a hoarse voice: "Is that Uncle Yan?" ”

"Weishenme would ask like that?" Qin Nansi was surprised that his son would mention Bai Ziyan.

Qin Xifeng touched the birth card hanging around his neck, sniffed and said, "Feel!" He remembered that his father was crying in front of Uncle Yan's tombstone, and he remembered that his father looked at Uncle Yan like Brother Rong looked at his father's eyes, and Brother Rong said that it was because he liked and loved his father!

He didn't quite understand what "love" was, but he knew what it felt like. Just like he likes Ah Ting's sister very much, he thinks when he can't see her, and he laughs when he sees her.

"Will you hate Daddy?" This sentence was like a stab in the throat, and I couldn't swallow it, and it was very difficult to open my mouth for a long time.

Qin Xifeng thought for a while and shook his head, although he didn't know that Weishenme's father would like a man, it was nothing, as if he also liked Long Lifei's brother.

"Dad, if you love someone deeply, you can't like someone else?" He tilted his head sideways, his eyes shining at him, full of curiosity.

"Hmm." Qin Nansi nodded, thinking of that face, his heart was soft, and even the light in his eyes couldn't help but soften: "Because I like one person too much, I can't hand my heart to a second person, not even a little bit." ”

Qin Xifeng seemed to understand whether he understood or not, nodded, and put his hands around his neck, very dependent.

Qin Nansi's strong fingers wiped away the tears on his cheeks, and said in a deep voice: "Boys should be strong, don't cry." ”

"Dad, I was wrong! I won't say anything like that again! ”

Qin Nansi hugged the child in his arms tighter, and his voice was heavy: "Xi Feng, be ......"

"Dad, is Aunt Bing angry?" Qin Xifeng asked very carefully, he knew that what he just said was very rude.

"Nope." A faint smile tugged at the corner of Qin Nansi's mouth, "Aunt Bing wants me to tell you that she wants to recognize you as her godson, so that she will be your mother!" ”

"Really?" The sadness on Qin Xifeng's face immediately vanished: "Great! I'm going to change the clothes that Aunt Bing bought for me, can we have dinner together in the evening! ”

"Yes!" He smiled and replied, "But you should call her mom instead!" ”

"Hmm!" Qin Xifeng jumped out of bed with the bag in his arms and walked to the bathroom, when he was at the door, he suddenly stopped and turned around and shouted, "Dad!" ”

Qin Nansi didn't finish speaking, and looked at him with sweeping eyes.

"Dad, I love you!"

There was a spring breeze in his quiet eyes, and a warm smile rose at the corner of Qin Nansi's mouth: "I love you too!" ”

Qin Xifeng hugged his clothes and went into the bathroom to change his clothes with a happy face.

Qin Nansi looked at the smile on his face the moment the door was closed. Fingers couldn't help touching the wedding ring around his neck, the slightly cool touch, as if the heart was connected, and it warmed up instantly.

Bai Yan, although you are not by my side at this moment, although I did not go to you immediately, I know that you will not blame me, nor will you leave me.

You know, I miss you.

Extremely poor all his life, all the time.

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Update 11,000 words today, remember to give the young master if you have a recommendation ticket. What's the matter!