I closed the door and looked at the gap that was missing, and there was no sound outside the door, and it seemed that the whole world was sleeping. I kept telling myself not to think about what might happen in the opposite room now, what the husband and wife originally did should do, did Ji Rongke still have to live the life of a eunuch. But I still felt like a hole had been ripped open in my heart, and a lot of blood gushed out of it.

He Qu ate dinner and went upstairs to the room, he twisted the door lock, found that I was in control, he called my name outside the door, I suddenly came back to my senses, I closed my eyes, wiped the moisture around my eyes with my hands, and quickly opened the door, He Qu stood at the door with a plate of fruit, he saw that my face was wrong, so he bent down and leaned back to look at me carefully, "What's wrong with you, are you uncomfortable." ”

There is probably a lot of difference between forced smile and true joy, no matter how good my acting skills are, I can't hide myself even more than Ji Rongke, I simply no longer force myself to grin the corners of my lips and let out such an ugly smile, I pressed one hand on my temple and said to him, "I'm a little sleepy." ”

He glanced at the wall clock on the wall, "Are you sleepy so early?" ”

I said, "It's just that I'm too bored and sleepy." ”

He handed me the fruit and smiled and said it's okay, I'll accompany you.

I took a piece of orange from it, I was about to eat it, the doors of the study and the bedroom opened almost at the same time, He Guici came out on crutches in a silver-white Tang suit, Ji Rongke changed into a burgundy nightgown, his hair was still very neat, he glanced at us all, after greeting He Guici, he went downstairs and took two glasses of water, he said goodnight, when he pushed the door into the room, I didn't know whether I was intentional or unintentional, my eyes glanced over, He Run was lying on the bed and was about to untie the straps of his nightgown, She looked up and saw Ji Rongke coming back from outside, her red and swollen eyes were bent, showing a hint of a smile, and then the door was closed.

I didn't have time to wait for me to reverie, He Guici walked in front of me on crutches, although he was old, his tall figure was no longer what it used to be, a little sluggish and retracted, but it still did not prevent him from oozing out of his bones, I was slightly stunned in front of him, but my hair was all pretended, just to let all the people in this house believe that I was fragile and cowardly, I was used to shooting and staining blood, and I was no longer afraid of anyone, except for Ji Rongke and Gu Wennan, who are far better than me in this world, I will not be afraid of anyone anymore.

I moved my body behind He Qu, showing a somewhat helpless expression, He Qu blocked me with one arm, and he said to He Guici, "Father, Feng Jin's matter, we will handle it ourselves, and when I am really embarrassed, I will trouble my father to remember the father-son relationship, and help me secretly." ”

He Guici's sharp eyebrows exuded a terrifying chill, if it weren't for the fact that I had seen Ji Rongke's more terrifying appearance, I would have really been frightened, he smiled coldly, "The He family is not a place to do nonsense, do you understand." ”

I nodded, and shook my head hurriedly, "I just want to live in peace with He Qu, and I don't have any other thoughts that shouldn't belong to me." ”

He Guici didn't believe me or didn't believe it, he ignored me, only looked at me deeply, and then poked his crutches and went downstairs.

When He Qu took me back to the room, I held his hand and said cautiously, "Dad hates me very much." ”

He smiled and hugged me from behind, his thin lips opened and closed slightly, fitting my cold earballs, "Dad is very serious, military life has developed the habit of saying that he is not serious and serious, but you see this family is still chickens and dogs, He Run and I are not so demanding of ourselves, he has to get by, family life is not military training, how can there be so many fears and fears, you don't have many opportunities to contact him, don't worry so much." ”

I tilted my head slightly to look at his face hidden next to my ear, there was a smile in his eyes, warm and gentle, and I said, "How can it be done, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, and no matter how bad it is with your father, I can't get a foothold." ”

I deliberately didn't mention He Run, I think that when I mention her, He Qu will think a lot, such as children, such as Ji Rongke, now everything is clear, the child's father is someone else, it's nothing, even if He Qu is curious, he won't care about an irrelevant stranger, but the child's father is Ji Rongke, his nominal brother-in-law, this inextricably linked embarrassing relationship is like opening your eyes every day and seeing the green hat on your head.

He finally didn't take the initiative to ask me, so I didn't want to hit the muzzle of the gun.

He Qu felt particularly funny at my cranky thoughts, he hugged my arms tightly, and his face was very close to me, "You have to think so much every day, you are not tired." ”

I knew he felt sorry for me, so I turned my back to look out the window at the moonlight, "I'm a little tired." ”

His thin lips brushed past my ears, and his voice seemed to be down, "Are you tired now?" ”

I just wanted to say a little bit, but suddenly I realized that something was wrong, He Qu placed behind me in the hot chest scorched me, that trace of damp breath spread from the pinna of my ears to every corner of my body, like an electric shock, I instantly burned, I vaguely understood He Qu's intentions, my heart was completely panicked, I didn't know how to get rid of it, in order to appear very complete, instead of being estranged from both parties because of this.

Unless I use the child as an excuse, but I was ashamed of his kindness to me at the beginning, I took the initiative to mention that it was okay to be three months old, and these two days are almost thirteen weeks, although He Qu said that he was not in a hurry, this is not the key to marriage, but what happened today changed his state of mind, he couldn't tolerate hearing that the child was Ji Rongke's flesh and blood, he was eager to declare sovereignty, eager to save face for himself, eager to raise the crumbling and unstable relationship between husband and wife to the height of facts, So he doesn't plan to keep that line anymore.

However, I didn't want to break the barrier between us, which gave me a sense of protection and security, but now it doesn't seem to last.

He Qu hugged me to death, I didn't dare to break free too much, let him sense my dissatisfaction and unwillingness, I could only struggle and swing very slightly, trying to quietly let him let go of me, but he didn't, he almost lifted me up, I firmly pressed against his chest, and fell on the bed with him.

He remembered that I was special, and when I fell, I deliberately deviated to the side of my body, but my arm was still pressed against my chest, against my soft parts, such intimate contact made my breath stagnate, and after I reacted to what was going on, I just wanted to open my mouth to breathe, and he suddenly kissed it, this kiss was very strong, with a power that I could not refuse, and turned all my sanity upside down.

He Qu was placed on top of me, his elbows propped up on both sides of the bed, and he did not press down on me, I opened my eyes wide to look at his closed eyes, slightly trembling eyelashes, and felt the deep kiss that he gradually reveled in, and the sensibility made me want to push him away, push him away fiercely, but reason extinguished the flame of my sensibility, and let my wayward thoughts take root.

He is the husband I want to live with, and he is always waiting for me to let go, and as soon as I say yes, he will immediately give me the title of wife, and no one can do it so simply, and I will never be blessed to meet a better man than him.

The years are so long, do I refuse once and get a second rejection? Can I keep refusing and break his heart, this is my obligation, and it is my only remedy for him.

My clenched fists gradually loosened, and in my self-paralyzed consciousness, it was like a white mist dissipating and volatilizing.

I can't express how I feel, but I finally understand how great love is and how harmful it is.

It makes me never want to live such a life of indulgence, circling between men to laugh and sell amorous, it makes me only accept one person, a man named Ji Rongke, except for him, it is like chewing wax, and even I refuse to chew this wax. My body's unconscious rejection, unconscious resistance, has become my instinct, the idea of guarding his chastity is a vine that is constantly expanding and growing, getting thicker and thicker, strangling me fiercely, I can't escape, I can only accept its curse and bondage.

I looked over his head at the ceiling in the dim light, the delicate patterns, the beautiful colors, but I was like floating and sinking in the monstrous waves, unable to breathe, unable to survive, and the great pain swallowed me.

This life is not as uncomfortable as death, I have never been, in the Carmen banquet, in the casino, among thousands of men, they have come and gone for a flash in the pan of their own lives, I have not lost the last bottom line, but I have also done everything else, I think the blurred collision of men and women is normal. But after meeting Ji Rongke, kisses and hugs became his exclusive to me subconsciously. I couldn't give it to a second man, and no matter how hard I tried, it made me feel miserable.

I felt a trace of warm, moist saliva slide down my body, getting heavier and greedier, and I squeezed a whisper out of my throat, "Don't..."

He Qu said vaguely in the kiss, "I'll be careful." ”

I suddenly saw Ji Rongke's magnified face, right at the door, appearing outside the door that was slowly pushed open, he stood with his hands in his hands, all in pitch black, staring at me silently, his eyes were fierce and betrayed, I was so frightened that I quickly shook my head at him, I said no, it's not like this.

A layer of white mist floated around him, in this confusion, his thin lips suddenly closed twice, I don't know what he was talking about, I couldn't see or hear clearly, I stretched out my hand to grab him, I wanted to explain and want to tell him my distress, but the door suddenly closed again at this moment, and he disappeared without a trace.

I suddenly opened my eyes from the nightmare that had caused me to panic, and I was so frightened that a layer of sweat quickly rose on my body, and there was no trace of him at the door, but the scene just now was as real as if it had happened.

He Qu had already kissed me on the abdomen, and the nightgown on my body had already been completely untied in my unconsciousness, revealing the naked body inside, I could feel his breathing getting thicker and thicker, and the uncontrollable lust, but I didn't want to continue, I desperately wanted to stop, and it was too late to stop.

I grabbed the sheet and raised my leg to kick He Qu's shoulder, this time I didn't use force, I was afraid of kicking his wound, but it was not light, I was afraid of kicking him and ignored it, I felt that I kicked him, I pulled the nightgown and sat up from the bed while he was unprepared, and my back was pressed against the head of the bed, the light was so bright and dim, but it was sprinkled on me and him, and it was still dazzling.

I looked at him as I quickly fastened the belt around my waist, and there was a hint of confusion and frustration in his stunned eyes, he didn't understand why I had held out for so long, but when he was about to get to the point, he brutally pushed him away, and without hesitation, silently and fiercely refused.

This is the moment of the greatest defeat for men, the cruelty they least want to face.

I hate myself so much, I was persuaded to take this step for so long, but I still suffered Ji Rongke's cup at a critical moment.

I can't do it, I really want to cry and why can't I do it.

I'm afraid that he will dislike me, I didn't leave the best version of myself to Ji Rongke, and I don't want to be contaminated with a trace of disgusting breath for him.

After I hurriedly wrapped myself, I lowered my head and was extremely ashamed, I didn't know what to say, and there was no sound in the quiet bedroom.

I made a lot of excuses and were vetoed by me in my heart, it was too pediatric, and it was difficult to deceive a child of a few years old, let alone be as shrewd as He Qu.

All I could say in the end was, "The wound on your back just tore, and we... When your wounds are healed, then-"

Before I finished speaking, he suddenly laughed, this was a wry smile, a sneer, a sneer mixed with a smile that made me uncomfortable, I didn't dare to look at him at all, I only saw him sitting there with my peripheral vision, his nightgown was also torn open, revealing his white and fatless chest and waist and abdomen, flashing in the dim light with a seductive charm, but I was the only one who was still like water.

He exhaled deeply after laughing, and he didn't let me go this time, he asked me, "Do you really just care about my injuries?" ”

I raised my eyes to look at him, stunned for a moment, He Qu's words broke through all my pretenses and lies, and collapsed in an instant.

I hugged my knees and was speechless, his silence and his decadence were all written between my troubled eyebrows.

I whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm not ready." I thought you were willing to give me time, willing to wait for me. ”

He was silent, he didn't seem to hear me, his eyes narrowed, staring at the light of the moon shining in the windowsill, I crawled over like a flatter, sat down in the middle of the bed next to him, grabbed his hand and put it in my pounding heart, I pleaded sincerely, "I really want to marry you and want to live with you, but I need time, I need time to break the high walls, to break the instinctive hiding I have been in the relationship, I am not unwilling, I am willing." But you wait for me, and finally wait for me. ”

He was silent for a long time, and when my palms were soaked with hot sweat and wet his fingertips, he suddenly turned his head and looked at me with burning eyes, "Isn't it because I still love him and can't let go, so I want to keep and reject me." ”