My tablemate's name is Zhao Qinhan, a rare big man in the south, he is about 1.82 meters tall at a young age, he has bronzed skin, handsome appearance, quite masculine like his name, and he is also very righteous. Because he was good at math, I often asked him for advice, so he was the only person I knew in the class.

Occasionally, I think of Jin Yan, how sorry it should be...... I didn't meet him in the best youth, I didn't fall in love with him in the best attitude, and I didn't grow up with him and witness youth together. And this kind of regret can't be made up for in this life, right? The flaky, thrilling love between us that bears a huge price is considered the pain that should exist in youth? Looking back, maybe it is not called youth, it starts with passion and ends in reality, which is far from the pure beauty that youth should have.

I can't think about it, my nose is pantothenic when I think about it, how many times have I almost blurted out when I talked to Xingfeng on the phone, asking "Is he good", but I can't. I don't have to indulge in the love of my children and live up to the expectations of the criminal wind.

I forced myself to concentrate from this brief distraction, picked up the textbook and flipped page after page, and fell asleep after completing the study task for the day's interval.

Zhao Qinhan was very dedicated to helping me, which makes me very grateful. In the blink of an eye, a semester passed in full swing, and the study life day after day made my heart continue to precipitate, and the feeling of calming down to study also made my state of mind gain unprecedented peace. From summer to winter, from green to yellow, I also completed my academic progression. In the final exam of the first semester, I finally squeezed into the top 20 of the whole grade, and this huge progress surprised Xing Feng very much, and also made me want to cry inexplicably.

The Spring Festival passed in a hurry, and in a blink of an eye, 2008 had arrived. Time flies, and before I know it, I've entered the level of 20 years old. It's incredible to be 20 years old and stay with a group of 18-year-old juniors and sisters to fight for the college entrance examination.

Time flies, and in the blink of an eye, I have entered the middle of summer from early spring, gritted my teeth and persevered for a year, and the sacred college entrance examination has finally arrived......

On the eve of the college entrance examination, the teachers on the big sycamore of the school were driven away by the teachers in various ways, and the whole campus fell into a dark silence...... Like, the dawn before the war.

In one year, the power of my eyes increased from 200 degrees to 300 degrees, the textbooks on my desk were full of annotations, and the mountains of exercises at home were filled with my handwriting. But this breath can't be relaxed immediately.

On the day of the long-awaited college entrance examination, the campus was crowded with parents, who stared at their students through the iron gate, and told them with hope that they could be admitted to their favorite schools smoothly. Ten years of cold windows no one knows, in one fell swoop to become famous all over the world, has been the case throughout the ages.

This is the second time I have taken the college entrance examination, but my mood is far more nervous than the first time. When I first took the college entrance examination, I had no confidence in myself, I didn't have any certainty, and I had a mentality of having a beginning and an end, understanding that the end of the college entrance examination meant the end of my studies, so I spent those three days in a state of confusion. But now, I have a heavy hope on my shoulders, and this pressure weighs heavily on my heart, so that I have to show a 12-point posture to cope with this exam.

I knew that my chance to regain my destiny had come. In addition to nervousness, there is also a trace of excitement in my heart. I silently said to myself in my heart: "Pan Rushu, you must come on." ”

Chinese, Mathematics, English, Comprehensive ...... I will go all out in any of them, and I dare not take them lightly, and after each exam, I feel a little lighter. The moment I walked out of the examination room after the last exam, I heard the cheers of the students in the audience. And I, in the midst of this cheer, couldn't help but burst into tears.

It's finally over! God knows how it got through this year! Fate, I did my best! I'll take care of the rest!

At that moment, my heart was like lightning and thunder, and it was stirring for a long time, and it could not be calmed down. I hated to call home immediately and tell them that I had taken the college entrance examination again, and I hated to immediately hug my eldest sister and cry and tell her that I had taken the college entrance examination again! Like a dream! It's really like a dream!

I stood stupidly at the bottom of the school building, watching countless people come and go in front of me with joyful faces; With a hula, the window door of a certain classroom was opened, and countless people tore the test papers and scratch papers from the window and sprinkled them into the air, and for a time everyone followed suit, and the confetti in the sky fell to the ground like a cherry blossom rain and sprinkled on my body, I stretched out my hand and reverently held these scraps of paper that I didn't know who they once belonged to, and laughed silly, like crazy.

The indescribable relaxation, the indescribable relaxation, and the indescribable mixed feelings. You can't think about it, you can't feel it, and when you feel it, it's easy to cry. It's all over, and finally ...... It's all gone.

After the college entrance examination, I had nowhere to go while waiting for the results of the college entrance examination in S City, so I simply went to the library in S City every day to read books. One day Zhao Qinhan called me and said that he wanted to invite me to his house for dinner, and told me that I had to go.

I didn't want to go, but when he told me that Aunt Gu, who had taken care of me for a year, was his mother, I was surprised, and then Aunt Gu took the phone and told me to go, so I agreed, and soon Zhao Qinhan came to pick me up and took me downstairs on a bicycle.

S City is probably because it is an ancient city, there are few high-rise buildings, most of them are low-rise bungalows, and the wealthier ones are single-family buildings with a small courtyard outside. Zhao Qinhan's family belongs to the latter, it is a self-built house, the appearance of the house is designed to imitate the European architectural style, the age should be more than ten years old, it does not look new, but it looks more chic because of the washing of the years.

The yard enclosed by the wrought iron fence is verdant, and the yard that does not look big is planned in a patchwork manner, with a small rockery and a pool, and lotus flowers are planted in the pool, and you can smell the fragrance of lotus flowers as soon as you enter the door. I couldn't help but exclaim, "It's beautiful." ”

Zhao Qinhan parked the car in a vacant corner of the yard, and then said with a smile: "This yard is taken care of by my father, these flowers and plants are my father's treasures, and he loves to tinker with them after he retires." ”

"What does your dad do?" I couldn't help but ask.

"He used to be a cadre in the government and has been retired for several years." Zhao Qinhan said with a smile, and then, he took me into the main gate of his house.

As soon as I entered the door, I smelled a faint smell of sandalwood, as soon as I entered the door, there was an antique screen, behind the screen was the living room, the decoration style of the living room was the style loved by the old cadres, and there was a feeling like walking into the government living room.

I had a very delicious dinner at Zhao Qinhan's house, and Aunt Gu took my hand and talked for a long time before Zhao Qinhan sent me home. Unexpectedly, not long after I arrived home, I received a call from Xingfeng. Xingfeng asked me to prepare in advance, and he came to pick me up immediately. His tone was urgent, as if something big had happened.

After waiting for more than an hour, I finally heard the sound of the horn honking downstairs, and I rushed down with an arrow and saw Xingfeng turning the car around.

I rushed over and opened the car door and sat in, so anxious that my face was sweating, and the whole person shivered with cold when the air conditioner blew, and I said, "Brother, what's wrong?" What the hell is going on? ”

"Your mother may ......" he looked me in the eye, not knowing for a moment how to continue. But from the solemn look in his eyes and the tone in which he wanted to say something, I already had a faint sense of something.

"What's wrong with my mom?" I asked anxiously.

"I had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage and am now in the hospital. Rushu, I'll take you to H City first, and you promise me to be calm. Xing Feng said as he drove out of my neighborhood and ran wildly on the road.

My brain "buzzed", my eyelids jumped suddenly, tears fell at once, I bit my lip desperately, my hand firmly grasped the edge of the cushion, and slowly asked, "Bad luck, right?" ”

Xing Feng looked at me nervously, then slowly stopped the car, he turned me over and let me face him, he looked directly at me and said, "Xiaoshu, you listen to me." No matter what happens, be strong. Promise me, huh? I'll face it with you, okay? ”

Tears were streaming down my face, my teeth were biting my lips, a salty liquid was swallowed into my stomach, and I nodded. Xing Fengfu started the car again and drove towards the entrance of the highway at a fast speed, and in only two hours, he had already taken me to H City.

He told me that my mother was in the central hospital of H City, and that he had just transferred here from the central hospital in my hometown at 8 o'clock in the evening, and he came directly to S City to pick me up after hearing the news.

After getting out of the car, the torture wind pulled me all the way wildly, my heart beat wildly, and we arrived at the door of the operating room at an extremely fast speed.

There was a group of people I knew very well outside the operating room, I saw my father first, then I saw Xiaohua and Xu Song, and Xiaoxue. The sound of our hurried footsteps caught their attention, and as I stood with Xingfeng, their eyes brushed toward us.

They all had a look of surprise and bewilderment on their faces, probably thinking that I had already disappeared from this world, but they didn't expect me to reappear in their sight unscathed.

I saw my father's dark face, standing in place with his body trembling slightly, his heart beating like he was about to run out of his chest, I didn't dare to move forward, so the torture wind stood beside me. After the two of us looked at each other for nearly a minute, my father slowly got up from the bench and walked towards me.

I instinctively wanted to back off, but I didn't, I stood there and looked at my father with tears in my eyes. In more than a year, he has aged a lot, his back is hunched, his hair is whiter than before, his clothes are very shabby, his face is so thin that his cheekbones are prominent, and his eyes shoot a sharp light, which makes me shudder.

He stood still in front of me, looking at me with fierce eyes, and I timidly shouted, "Dad......"

He slapped me so hard that my ears buzzed and my face seemed to swell.