After this slap, Xing Feng hurriedly stopped in front of me and said, "Uncle, I have something to say." ”

"This is my family's family matter, don't interfere with it. Pan Rushu, let me ask you, where have you been this year? Do you still know you have this home? Dad pointed to my nose and said tremblingly.

I covered my face, lowered my head, and asked slowly, "How is Mom?" ”

Xiaoxue, Xiaohua and Xu Song all came over, Xiaohua stepped forward to support her father, looking at my cold gaze, she said, "Pan Rushu, why do you still have the face to come back?" Why did you say goodbye so much, do you know how much it hurts your parents' hearts? ”

"I'll explain to you slowly in the future, Mom is okay, right? Still having surgery? I tried my best to control my emotions and asked slowly.

"It's been a long time since the operation, and I don't know what the situation is." Seeing this, Xiaoxue couldn't help but interject. I looked up and looked at her gratefully, and she immediately lowered her head, looking a little embarrassed.

At this time, the lights in the operating room went out, and the doctor came out of the operating room with a tired face and asked, "What about the family?" ”

We swarmed around to ask about the situation, and the doctor shook his head helplessly and sighed: "We tried our best, but we still haven't rescued us, please mourn." ”

When I heard this, I only felt that my eyes were dark, and I almost wanted to faint, but I was held back by the torture wind, and he whispered in my ear: "Be strong, little book." ”

My father collapsed to the ground, Xu Song and Xing Feng hurriedly helped him to sit on the bench, I looked at the door of the operating room stupidly, my heart was surprisingly calm, I wanted to cry but couldn't.

Xiaohua was already crying with his father, Xing Feng, Xiaoxue and Xu Song were persuading, and I was standing alone in the corridor, looking stupidly in the direction of the operating room, walking to the door of the operating room and muttering, "Mom, did you leave before I could make you proud?" ”

Is our mother and daughter destined to be lost? Shouldn't I be your child in this life? Scenes of the past came to mind, and I remembered that my mother was always lying on the chaise longue at the door all the year round, and when my father whipped me, she persuaded me weakly, but she never seemed to shed tears for me. Mother's love for me is a faint affection, a small piece of flesh that she occasionally stuffs into my mouth when she peels an apple for her; It was her "child" when she wiped her body and helped her turn over; It was her gentle admonition before we left; It was a ten-yuan red envelope that she stuffed every year during the Chinese New Year when she was young...... Before we could reconcile with time and reconcile, before I could set things right and start again, before I could return to her and weep and confess, before I could tell her the regrets in my heart, she just left, without leaving a word for me, gone, gone forever.

The door to the operating room opened, and the nurse slowly pushed her out of the operating room, covered with a white cloth. The father rushed forward like crazy, uncovered the white cloth, and called out his mother's name. I stood closest to my mother, looking at the serene look on her face, I tried to pull her hand, it was cold, there was no trace of heat.

The rule in the hometown is that the eldest daughter and eldest son are responsible for sending them to the end. So I resolutely provoked the home of my mother's funeral, like an adult, I went to the table with my uncle and relatives in my hometown to discuss funeral and funeral-related matters, I took out all my savings to undertake my mother's funeral, and at the same time my uncle taught me what to do, which relatives will come over these days, what I need to do to prepare, how to arrange the relatives who come to help, and so on.

The baptism of this funeral made my heart much stronger, I calmly faced all kinds of disputes that arose throughout the process, I was silent about my father's insults and unbearable swear words to me, I did my duty as my eldest daughter in an orderly manner, and I did not have the slightest timidity at the moment when I faced my mother's body and put on her shroud.

My father forcibly ordered me not to participate in anything, but I was persuaded by my uncle and a group of relatives. After the funeral, I took off my filial piety clothes and knelt down in front of my father's bed. I understand that my father may not forgive me for the rest of his life, but I am more aware of my responsibilities as a child.

I knelt for a day and a night, in the same position from beginning to end, and no one tried to persuade me to get up. I don't want to describe how sore my legs are when I kneel for so long, because how much my legs hurt, how much my heart hurts.

Early the next morning, the uncle and sister came again. Seeing that my father was always facing inside with his back to me, the uncle got angry and scolded my father as an elder brother. The father remained unmoved.

The eldest sister sighed heavily and tried to help me up, but I didn't want to. The uncle sighed with emotion: "Both father and daughter are hard bones, hey! ”

A shallow sentence reveals the connection between me and my father's blood is thicker than water, and the cut is also cut.

My father finally turned around, sat up, looked at me, and said, "You go!" If you want me to live a few more years, don't go back to this home from now on! I don't have a daughter like you! ”

This was not the first time he had said this, and he had shouted these words in a furious manner from the moment he carried his mother's coffin back to his hometown, and from the moment I stepped into the door. After that, during the seven days of the funeral, he said this every time he saw me. Once for anger, twice for hate, three times, four times, five times...... I guess it must be hatred from the bottom of my heart!

I was still on my knees, my leg completely unconscious as if it had been broken, and I said slowly, "Dad, this may be the last time I'll call you that." Today, I'm going to give you three kowtows. The first ring, I wish you good health, a long life, and a long life; The second ring, I thank you for your eighteen years of nurturing me; The third ring, fulfill your wish, no longer be your daughter, I just hope that you can be less angry and pay more attention to your body. Dad, I thank you and Mom for giving me life, please forgive me for my unfilial piety, and please take care of your body. Everything I owe you, I will pay back with the rest of my life. Take care, Father! ”

I kowtowed three times on the ground with the most solemn gift in my hometown, one, two, three, and slammed the concrete floor. After three knocks, blood oozed from my forehead, and a tear slipped from the corner of my eye, and I reached out to brush away the blood and tears, and tried to get up from the ground, but I was exhausted and fell down again.

Uncle sighed heavily again, and the eldest sister burst into tears at my words, and squatted down to lift me up from the ground. I took a deep look at my father, and when I saw that his face was still as cold as iron, my heart fell to the bottom.

The eldest sister helped me out of my father's room, and the uncle remained in the room, probably trying to persuade my father. I looked up at the portrait of my mother on the wall of the living room, looked at Xiaohua and Xu Song standing at the door, and said softly: "Xiaohua, in the future, Dad, I will trouble you to take care of you." ”

Xiaohua has been treating me very badly like my father these days, she has always been close to her parents, unlike me, who are very estranged from my parents. I especially understand the hatred she has for me, and as an older sister, I really have nothing to make her proud.

She looked at me with her mouth wide open in surprise, her lips moving, trying to say something, but not saying it. The eldest sister helped me across the threshold, and Xiaohua and Xu Song automatically stepped aside. She didn't keep me, she didn't.

I couldn't say anything more, so I told her to take care of my family for me, and then I left the hometown where I was born and raised on foot, and walked towards the town step by step, without looking back, and letting go of that attachment.

It was inconvenient for Xingfeng to stay at my house for a long time, and he left after sending my mother to the funeral. I bought a ticket alone and left Panjia Town by car, bidding farewell to Panjia River and Shennu Mountain. Before leaving, I gazed affectionately at the peak of the Goddess Mountain, and silently said in my heart: "One day, I will definitely return to this homeland with pride." ”

I was admitted to Z University with a high score without any suspense, and my dream was settled at this moment. One morning at the end of August, I bid farewell to S No. 1 Middle School and S City in a mist and drove in the direction of H City, and another new chapter in my life was about to begin.

September 1. Back-to-school season.

The weather in H City is still hot. I wore a new dress that Xingfeng bought for me, a white puff-sleeved shirt with vertical stripes, a pair of washed jeans with holes, a pair of white Adi sneakers on my feet, and a suitcase by myself, and appeared at the door of Z University, which I was very familiar with.

I stood at the door of Z University for a long time and was still reluctant to enter, I looked up at the solemn and sacred plaque above my head, I remembered that I had accompanied Xiaohua to this school for the first time, I remembered that I had been here with Jin Yan, I remembered that I had sat at this gate all night in the rain, and I remembered that I was out of place and envious at their friendship party...... It's only been a little over a year, but it makes me feel like I was in the last place.

I saw a luxury car with students driving into the campus in a high-profile manner, a dark-faced father carrying a big burlap bag and a plainly dressed child struggling to squeeze in through the side door, a girl who looked like an old student walked in in a row singing and laughing, and I also saw some well-dressed but low-key parents carrying several suitcases for their children and entering with a smile.

Many boys will look back at me when they pass by, some try to come up and talk to me but probably because they feel the alienation of my gaze but don't dare, I stood at the door for a long time, just as I was about to go in, a bright and familiar male voice came from behind me: "Classmate, are you a freshman who came to report?" ”

I looked back, and the other party looked stunned. He was Xu Song, who had just walked in from the school gate, and the signature smile on his face froze after seeing me: "Little book? You...... How did you......? ”

He looked me up and down and saw that I was carrying a large pink suitcase, looking at me in disbelief. I generously gave him a big smile and I said, "Yes, I'm a freshman, and I'm reporting on the first day today." ”

He froze completely. The expression on his face was the one I had imagined a thousand times in my heart, stunned, surprised, complicated and tangled, and full of disbelief...... Yes, I'm back, as a freshman, no longer Pan Ruhua's younger sister, nor is I longer a librarian at Z University, but a freshman in the Department of Human Resource Management at Authentic Z University.