Who are we in the dream? And who lives in reality? When a person has nothing, there are only two ways we can take: one is to open up our own path with our bare hands, and the wind and dust are drenched in blood; One is to attach others to catch a fast train and take off to get around the mud.

I chose the former, and Xiaoxue chose the latter. We're not all the way.

The aftermath of our argument led me to leave Xiaoxue's villa overnight, wait for a long time on the side of the road, and finally get into a taxi and take a taxi back to the dormitory.

I drank and wandered all the way, looking at the neon and traffic everywhere in the city, and my heart was infinitely lost. A strong voice came out from the bottom of my heart, and that voice was telling me: Pan Rushu, people can be poor, but they must not fall.

In Xiaoxue's words, isn't the story of me and Jin Yan a kind of depravity? I lost my first time in a daze, got pregnant in a daze, and eloped in a daze...... Love shouldn't have started like this, but it's already like this. If possible, I am willing to borrow the hands of fate to gently pluck the place where Jin Yan and I met in the first place, and if I can go back, I will definitely not use such a beginning to obtain our love. But we can't go back, we can't go back.

Since then, Xiaoxue has never called me again, and Xiaohua's contact with me has faded a lot. I silently accepted this reality, and after work, I still spent all my free time reading books as before.

At the same time, I began to write one love story after another, and each love story had a male protagonist as domineering as him, and each story reminded me of the past.

His badness, his laughter, his domineering, his vexatiousness, his willfulness...... Each element is embodied in the male protagonist in the story. I sent these stories one by one to the eldest sister's mailbox, and after the eldest sister read them carefully, she sent her opinions and insights back to me, and we went back and forth to discuss the various plots and endings of the heroes and heroines in the stories, and finally refined them, and put them into the magazine we carefully selected.

Most of the manuscripts were lost, and of course, there were occasional responses from editors, and sometimes they barely passed the first or second trial, but the final review was still killed. But the eldest sister told me that it doesn't matter, what we enjoy is the process of working hard for our dreams, and the result is not important, the important thing is that you are persevering and improving.

My eldest sister's words have a sacrosanct and inviolable power in my heart like a holy decree, and this power has become the driving force for my efforts. I know that I may not be able to reach the height of my eldest sister in my life, but I want to work hard and get closer to her.

My daily expenses have become more reduced, because Xiaohua's expenses in school have increased a lot, but fortunately, my salary is barely enough to cope at this time, so every month when I pay my salary, I will directly transfer one-third of my salary to Xiaohua's bank card.

Perhaps in this way, the small paintings gradually changed from indifference to enthusiasm for me. A little more than a month later, she told me that there would be a big gala at their school and the neighboring school, and that there would be one of her shows, and gave me a ticket to attend it when I could.

It happened to be a Saturday night, so I went.

The party was held on the school's basketball court, and it was still early, but the stands were already crowded.

Because it was Xu Song's girlfriend, Xiaohua successfully became a student union cadre and became the main force of Zhang Luo's party. She and Xu Song didn't have time to take care of me at all, so they hurriedly came over and asked me to find a seat to sit down, and they were busy maintaining order on the scene.

I sat down in a corner, and quietly looked at these college students my age with my cheeks back, and every time I came to campus and saw them, I felt a sense of envy in my heart. How I wish I was one of them, but it's just not possible.

But to be able to sit here and see such a scene makes me feel very happy. Anyway, I'm close to this life, at least I'm among them, aren't I?

The party soon began, Xiaohua wore a very cool dance costume, and danced a sexy and hot opening dance with a group of girls. After the passionate opening dance, Xu Song and a girl with pretty short hair came to the stage to host, he was wearing a silver suit, looking quite like a CCTV host from a distance, standing on the stage handsomely and talking about the opening remarks.

I couldn't take my eyes off the stage, and a wonderful, self-written and directed program appeared one after another, and applause and laughter resounded throughout the audience. Suddenly, there was a scream and sigh behind me, and I turned my head in surprise, my eyes widening!

It's actually Jin Yan! He actually showed up at the venue!

Not only that, but he and the four people behind him are all dressed in Mike Jackson's classic black suits, each holding a green crutch in their hands, and all five of them are wearing sunglasses, walking towards the center of the stage in a cool manner!

As soon as they came, everyone in the audience stood up, everyone screamed loudly, and everyone was excited. Xu Song was stunned on the stage, but soon came to his senses and hurriedly rounded the stage: "I forgot to tell everyone!" The mysterious guests of our party today are our Jin Shao and the four handsome guys behind him! Let's welcome them to the stage with the warmest applause to perform a dance for everyone! ”

At this time, Jin Yan and the four handsome guys came to the stage, each posed, and Xu Song whispered a few words to Jin Yan and ran off the stage. Soon, Michael Jackson's music "BillieJean" sounded, and Jin Yan opened with Michael Jackson's classic crotch covering action, which instantly exploded the audience, and everyone was stunned for a few seconds, applauding and screaming wildly to express their inner shock!

I blended in the crowd, involuntarily stood up and looked at Jin Yan on the stage stupidly, involuntarily applauding him and shouting for him. It was the first time I saw him dance, the first time I knew that his dancing was so good and infectious, and his ability to imitate was so strong.

It turns out that he is so good, it turns out that everyone has their own skills...... I thought to myself, and I felt more and more insignificant.

Why did Jin Yan appear here tonight? Looking at Xu Song's reaction at the time, Jin Yan seemed to have come by himself temporarily, not like he had rehearsed before? Who is he performing for? Is it for Shen Ziyan?

I couldn't help but look around, but I didn't find Shen Ziyan's voice and shadow in the crowd. At this time, Xiaohua found me, she put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Sister, are you excited to see Jin Yan dancing?" ”

"I'm excited." I said with a smile.

"He came suddenly, he didn't come after inviting him several times before, and he suddenly appeared on his own for some reason, it's really unpredictable." Xiaohua muttered, and said, "Wait a minute, Shen Ziyan will also sing on stage." Oh, by the way, Zhang Yu also has a sketch. ”

"Really?" I asked in surprise.

Xiaohua handed me a bottle of water, and then said, "I'm going to continue to be busy, sister, you can watch the show by yourself, don't leave after you're done, let's have supper together later." ”

I nodded, my eyes still lingering on the stage. I didn't look at the four handsome guys behind Jin Yan during the whole dance, and poured all my eyes on Jin Yan. His every move, every step of his dance, every expression of his face is deeply engraved in my mind.

When the dance was over, I couldn't get enough of it. I can't help but think to myself, if he hadn't been so rebellious, if he had taken care of his life, maybe he would have been the brightest star in this school!

The dance was over, and when I heard the hostess announce the name of the next show, I walked out of the venue in a huff, wanting to get out and breathe. Forget it, I don't want to listen to Shen Ziyan sing at all. That only reminds me that they are the best match and that I am just the most inconspicuous audience in the audience.

I walked slowly along the tree-lined paths of the campus by myself, still moonlit tonight, and a thunderstorm had just fallen in the evening, when the sky was cloudless and looked very clear.

Although many people in the school crowded on the basketball court to watch the party, there were still many people strolling around the campus, so I specially chose a road with fewer people to enjoy the beautiful scenery under the moon.

The lotus blossomed, a faint fragrance wafted in, I looked at the lotus flower that "the little lotus has just shown its sharp corners", and I wanted to pick a lotus flower that had not yet fully bloomed and brought it back to the dormitory.

So, I pulled the willow branches on the shore with one hand, and stretched out to the pond with the other hand to pick a lotus flower, who knew that a cold voice suddenly came from behind me: "I didn't watch the show in the middle of the night, and I actually ran here to steal lotus flowers!" ”

I was already a thief, was yelled like this, suddenly shocked, lost the soles of my feet and stepped on the air, the willow branches pulled by my hands were broken, I fell into the pond with a "poof", the cold water instantly submerged me, the pond was much deeper than I imagined, I panicked and had nowhere to focus on my hands and feet, choked several mouthfuls of water, and finally maintained the balance of the body, but the feet seemed to suddenly step on something long and slippery, and screamed in shock, I didn't have time to see who the person standing on the shore was, but I felt that the voice was extremely familiar.

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