I ate dinner at Uncle Fireball's house.

Dr. Yu called me before and asked me where I went, and I excused myself by saying that I was going home to get my summer homework and would be back soon, so I didn't have to worry about him.

What is incomprehensible is that at the dinner table, Shu Zhe is still wearing a woman's clothes.

Although the black and white striped T-shirt on the upper body can barely be said to be a neutral dress, the candy powder skirt on the lower body and the mid-length wig with soft oblique bangs on the head clearly betray his true gender.

The reason why he wanted to wear it like this was the result of the strong demand of Uncle Fireball, Fan Chuan, and Xiao Ding, and the minority obeyed the majority, so I had to keep silent.

This set of women's clothes was also bought online by Uncle Fireball these days, it seems to be prepared for Shu Zhe, casual clothes that can go out, God knows this gambling curse that he swore that he would not push down his niece, but he couldn't keep that he would push down his nephew's perverted uncle, what kind of intentions did he have.

Is it still planning to take Shu Zhe to "play outdoors" to see if it will be mistaken by acquaintances that the girl he is carrying is Shu Sha!

Of course, Shu Zhe, who can't afford to be early, agrees to wear women's clothes to dine with them, which is conditional.

First of all, he wanted to eat Pizza Hut's pizza takeaway, which Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding of course agreed, watching the two of them almost fight over who to pay, Shu Zhe covered his mouth and snickered, quite proud.

Then, and more importantly, the uncle must allow himself to go home, especially today when the aunt is on the night shift, and cannot force himself to stay overnight.

"Isn't it fun here, uncle?" Uncle Fireball said with a little regret.

It's fun for you sister! Shu Zhe can only be played by you if he stays! Your nephew is the fun stuff!

"Anyway...... I can't stay today anyway. "I don't know if it's exercised by video chatting with people, Shu Zhe's imitation of girls has been meticulous, today is the first time I have seen all his pseudo-motherly demeanor, it is really blind to my dog's eyes.

"Xiaohong, this Italian sausage is very good, do you want to try it?" Fan Chuan sat on Shu Zhe's left and asked earnestly.

Feed! Don't let the pseudo-girl eat things like sausages! weishenme: I think the look of anticipation on your face is very evil!

"Don't listen to him! This seafood pizza is delicious! Xiao Ding, who was sitting on Shu Zhe's right, was not to be outdone.

Red (I can't call him by his male name anymore) is oblivious to the two men next to her, critically slicing the pizza into more palatable pieces with a knife and fork.

Whenever the pizza is cut off or simply collapsed the salad corn on the pizza because of unreasonable force, she puts down the knife and fork with a "hum" and frowns, and looks like a little character who is against her.

At this time, Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding immediately came over, whipped the bastard pizza who dared to make their sweethearts angry, and each offered the best small piece of pizza that they thought was the most perfect cut.

Uncle Fireball and I sat farther away, probably opposite Shu Zhe.

Because this takeaway pizza was a treat for Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding, Uncle Fireball reluctantly allowed the two of them to use their own dining table - they wouldn't leave anyway.

Seeing his nephew sandwiched between the two suitors, like a budding courtesan, Uncle Fireball complained to me a little worriedly:

"When did Shu Zhe become like this! I'm a little skeptical now if I'm mistaken, in addition to my brother, Sasha also has a sister of a water-based poplar! ”

Don't add unnecessary settings to the squad leader! For Shu Zhe, who is more than 90% similar to his sister in appearance, the only spiritual defense line that I can maintain my sanity is that Shu Zhe is a man!

If Shu Zhe is really the sister of the squad leader's water-based Yanghua, I don't have confidence that I will be able to hold it! All the delusions that can't be realized in the squad leader can be realized in her! Anyway, just give her money afterwards!

Although the squad leader will one day find out that I am with her sister **, and then shoot me to death, but I must be the only one with "Xiaohong"**, the squad leader Zuihou is going to kill many people, and I won't be lonely if I die.

"Ye Lin, Fan Chuan, Xiao Ding, Tang Jiang, and Su Dongpo! How did you all die? ”

Lord Yama, who was too lazy to look through the book of life and death, patted the startled wood and asked the few new ghosts who had just arrived.

"18.51 mm caliber ......"

"16.82 mm caliber ......"

The answer is none other than the above two.

In addition, Uncle Fireball said extremely depressedly: He has nothing to do with Su Dongpo, and hopes that Lord Yama will not call it wrong again.

"Uncle, why don't you eat much?" Xiaohong seemed to suddenly remember that she only cared about enjoying the love of Fan Chuan and Xiaoding, and snubbed her uncle who had just given her iPad.

"You're going back to my sister, I'm a little lonely." Uncle Fireball said truthfully.

"Uncle, don't be too sad." Xiaohong flicked the oblique bangs in front of her forehead, slightly blocking her eyes, which inadvertently made her eyes even more smoky.

"When my aunt is no longer on the night shift, I may come over to borrow it," Xiaohong said as if she cared for her elders, "If you don't force me, uncle, to dress like this occasionally, it's not impossible." ”

"What!?" Fan Chuan's voice suddenly raised an octave, "Xiaohong, how can you throw yourself into the net and fall into the tiger's mouth!" ”

"That's right!" Xiao Ding also said, "Although Fan Chuan is also a wolf, he is not qualified to talk about others......

Xiaohong ignored the two suitors' stops, and continued to say to Uncle Fireball: "But like a cat maid's disgraceful dress, I won't easily agree in the future, unless ......"

There was a seductive look in her eyes.

"Unless it's when my uncle is going to give me an iPhone5s."

I'll it! Shu Zhe, you're playing with fire! Are you hinting at Uncle Fireball, as long as you give you an iPhone5s, then not only Catwoman, but also dress up a little more shamefully, will you agree? You are not afraid of playing with fire and self-immolation, and you will sell your chrysanthemums for an iPhone5s!

But if you think about it carefully, since someone is willing to sell one kidney for the iPhone, then Shu Zhe is not too much of a loss to sell a daisy.

Although Shu Zhe's chrysanthemum was exploded once by the rogue school doctor Chen Yingran in the name of "examining the prostate", he used his rubber gloved index finger once, it can't be regarded as a daisy in the full sense......

Listening to his nephew's words, Uncle Fireball was silent, the corners of his mouth seemed to be snickering, but there was worry in his eyes, in short, it was a very complicated expression.

"Xiaohong, you can't do this!" Fan Chuan said bitterly, "You can't get close to a perverted uncle for a mobile phone!" You want iPhone5s, I can buy them for you! ”

"Really?" Xiaohong's eyes widened slightly, and she held her pointed chin with her wrist with interest, and asked in disbelief.

"Don't listen to him!" Xiao Ding couldn't help but grab Xiao Hong's idle other hand, the silky and delicate touch made him stunned for a moment, but he quickly woke up and shouted to Fan Chuan:

"You haven't even found a job after graduating from college, what capital do you have to buy a mobile phone for Xiaohong? If you want to buy it, I'll buy it for Xiaohong! ”

Xiaohong let Xiaoding grab her hand, and seemed very happy to see the two men arguing about herself.

"Let go of your dog's paws! You fat man! Fan Chuan shot back at Xiao Ding, "You work in a broken pet hospital, do you earn more!" I think it's more than 2,000 yuan a month, right? You'll have to go without food or drink for at least two months to save enough for an iPhone5s! ”

"I ......" Xiao Ding's face turned red, "I've started to lose weight!" Besides, I'm just a bit big! The salary of the pet hospital is really not high, but I can go to another part-time job! I also have a part-time job at the zoo pretending to be a fake tiger! ”

When Xiaohong heard this, she covered her mouth and chuckled, as if she felt that it was ridiculous and funny for Xiaoding to go to the zoo to pretend to be a big and stupid tiger in order to please herself.

"Cut! You can pretend to be a fake tiger, can't I pretend to be Wu Song? Fan Chuan said disdainfully, "In short, no matter what I do, I will ride on your head, and I will never give Xiaohong to you!" I'll be getting a job soon! The salary will definitely be more than you when the time comes! I must have been the one who bought the iPhone5s for Xiaohong first! ”

Xiaohong was noncommittal, just frowned slightly and said to Xiao Ding: "You hurt someone's arm." Xiao Ding hurriedly let go of his hand, and did not stop daoqian.

I really couldn't stand Shu Zhe being coquettish at the dinner table, and couldn't help but complain: "Shu Zhe, are you auctioning your chrysanthemums publicly?" ”

"Well...... Shu Zhe immediately had a hurt expression, his body slammed backwards into the back of the chair, and his thin white little hand pressed on his chest, as if his heart had been greatly hurt.

"What did you kid say!?" Fan Chuan Huodi suddenly got up from his chair and threatened me viciously: "You dare to talk to my girlfriend like this, you don't want to live anymore!?" ”

"Xiao Ye, what you said was a bit excessive." Xiaoding was embarrassed to turn her face with me, and said weakly, "Xiaohong, she just wants an iPhone5s......"

If you really want to, you can work and earn it yourself! You don't need to send flyers in the wind and sun, you sell pseudo-mother's underwear, video chat with **, and you can barely support yourself! You only rely on selling cuteness, and let a man give you iPhone5s for nothing!

Is it just because it's more effortless!

The dignity of men has been abandoned! Forced by my uncle, I wore a maid costume to serve each other for several days, and I wore off a little shame of Zuihou! It's nothing to eat with four men in women's clothes, and she began to openly rely on her pseudo-mother identity to imply that the suitor obediently gave gifts!

I brought Fan Chuan and Xiaoding today, my original intention was to use them as bodyguards, but I didn't expect to change camps so quickly and become your bodyguards! I don't want to touch you even a finger!

I really feel that if the squad leader sees her brother now not ashamed, but proud, our dinner will be zuihou.

One counts as one, starting with Uncle Fireball and me, taking turns to use shotguns for blood sacrifices! Tribute to the male soul of her brother who is gone!

Finally, not only is it the appearance of a pseudo-mother, Shu Zhe has also begun to be "pseudo" from the inside!

Anyway, it's hard to be bullied as a man, and it's very expensive to have a girlfriend like Xiaoli, not to mention, Zuihou broke up with himself in the name of his lack of manhood.

It's still easy to be a pseudo-mother! Knowing that she is a pseudo-mother, there are still people vying to be their boyfriend, and basically nothing has been done, and you can get a brand-new iPhone5s for nothing!

And seeing that I wanted to beat him a chestnut chisel and didn't succeed, I didn't know that a large part of me was due to heart disease, and I thought I was afraid of his two new bodyguards, and I felt that I could get out of my control from now on!

Do you still want to set up a "boyfriend bodyguard group" to ensure that you will never be bullied?

Just wait and get away! Sooner or later, those prospective boyfriends who were deceived by your feelings will take turns to bully your chrysanthemum! When the time comes, this sex toy store will sponsor you with 1500 ml of lube out of humanitarianism! Have fun!