"But...... I've never heard you say that. Jin Yan muttered, looking at me with guilt and anxiety in his eyes.

"Have you always thought of yourself as a perfect man?" I asked him rhetorically, and I knew he was always proud, and in fact he was good enough.

"Hmm...... I thought so when I was successful, but I don't think so anymore. He said.

"Actually, you have a lot of problems, you know?" I paused, and I said, "You have a domineering personality and only treat feelings according to your own ideas, you don't ask me if I'm happy or unhappy about it, you just take it for granted that I'm happy." If you want to take me away, take me away, if you want me to elope with you, I will accompany you to elope, you are happy and don't want to wear T, I will depend on you, and as a result, I am pregnant twice because you don't know how to protect me; When you were young, you had a lot of habits like a son, you loved to smoke, you loved to drink, you loved to play games, you never did housework, and you were used to being served, we just graduated from college and lived together for three years, you came to reach out for food and open your mouth, you often messed up the room, the clothes you changed were thrown away, you were used to a luxurious life, so you never paid attention to details; You instinctively run away from difficulties like all young people who live in good fortunes, you never thought of letting me face it with you, you all disappeared and came back suddenly; You occasionally like to brag and lose your temper, you like to take risks and like to pull me to accompany you on adventures; You like to stay up late watching the World Cup and I have to applaud you next to you, but I still can't tell how many teams there are...... There are too many small details like this, Jin Yan, in fact, you are not perfect, just because I love you, so I think you are perfect, I am willing to echo your perfections, I am willing to tolerate your little faults and shortcomings, and I am even willing to fall in love with your faults and shortcomings. And in this process, I am constantly correcting myself, making myself adapt to you, and making myself more worthy of you. I'm not good enough to play with you, but at least I've always been on the same level as you, you don't think I'm an alien when you talk to me about Dota, I can give you a shout when a team scores a goal in the World Cup, I can kiss you on the face when you throw dirty socks and dirty clothes on the bed and silently put your clothes in the laundry basket...... But what do I like, you know? Do you know what dreams I have? I put a lot of my own things aside when I'm with you, you know? ”

I saw the shock in Jin Yan's eyes, he looked at me speechlessly, and his face turned pale.

I said, "Actually, do you think that I have to be you for more than ten years?" There is no one in this world who has to be alone. Just because I loved you from the beginning, I am willing to sacrifice and pay for you, I am willing to work hard for you, I am willing to turn myself into a woman worthy of you for you, everything, not because you are perfect, but because I am willing. ”

"You've never said that to me, little book. Why are you only reminding me of this now? He muttered, and he said, "Yes, I haven't thought about that until now, I just feel like I love you and you should love me." I just feel like if I haven't given up on you, you can't give up on me. I didn't think about how much you sacrificed and sacrificed for me, how much your life changed because of me, what you gave up for me...... Sorry, little book. ”

I shook my head and I said, "No, I'm telling you this, not to make you feel guilty, just to make you understand." Accepting the process of a man's transition from youth to maturity, sometimes a woman has to endure and sacrifice a lot. Look at the current society, Lori always looks for an uncle, but before the uncle fell in love with Lori, how many women in his life made him finally grow up in the name of love. Over the years, my heart has not drifted in the slightest, I have not been moved by any other man, all my firsts have been given to you, and I have given so much for you wholeheartedly. Now, I'm really tired. I want to walk around alone, I want to live my own life, I think I can be a little more relaxed, don't have so many burdens, don't be burdened by anyone anymore. What I need most now is not love, it is relaxation, it is that I need someone to take a good breath and take a good look at the world. ”

"Now that I have matured, all the ups and downs have passed, I know that I have not done well enough in the past, I have not been able to hold up a piece of heaven for you, but you have been sleeping with me, accompanying me to go through all kinds of ups and downs and hardships, and accompanying me to endure so many things that very people can bear. But not in the future, I have matured, I already know how to plan my future life, I will not let you and Qiuqiu suffer anymore, I will really stand up for you like a man, and I will not make you tired anymore, I promise. Jin Yan said.

"Jin Yan, I'm tired. Now I just want to take the ball with me and walk by myself. I said.

"I understand, I know all your tiredness and suffering, and I also know how hard Zhao Qinhan's death hit you. I have been with you all the time when you are sleeping, I have been calling your name, I have been wiping your face with a towel for you, in fact, I have always been by your side. You just have to look back and you will find that I have always been, that I have never left. Jin Yan said again.

It turned out that it was really him in those days...... No wonder I always felt a very familiar feeling around me, and I always felt like the smell of Jin Yan, but I didn't see him when I woke up, so I thought it wasn't.

"Since you've said everything, then you can talk about me too. For so many years, I have never heard what you say about me. I said.

"My evaluation is all in action, how much you deserve to be loved, only I know. I know you're a rare good woman. I didn't have a mother since I was a child, I grew up with my father, and Aunt Xu only married into my family later. I know that I have always relied on you, because you are not just my wife in my life, and to a certain extent, you have given me a kind of love that I have never had since I was a child. Jin Yan said.

He paused, and then said, "After meeting you, I found that you are different from other girls. Others think I'm a rich second generation, so playing with me is just running for my money, or I'm as selfish as I don't know how to care about people, but your appearance gives me an inexplicable warmth. At that time, even if you knew that I was just playing with you at first, you still didn't want to ask me for the money I gave you, and you would secretly cover me with a quilt in the middle of the night when I was asleep, and you would quietly put a box of medicine at my bedside when I had a slight cough and runny nose...... At that time, I felt that no one had ever done this to me, and I thought you were good, really good, so good that I felt guilty. ”

"You've never said that, hehe." After listening to this, I said in a daze. I forgot all the things I did for him in the first place, but I didn't expect him to remember.

"At that time, you were just a little bartender, I obviously played with you so much, I called a large group of boys and girls to play with me every time, but you didn't seem to mind, every time you made me a fruit bowl was my favorite fruit, every time it was arranged in a heart shape, I saw it." He fell into the memory, and a smile appeared on his lips.

"On the day we eloped together, I took the train for the first time, there was no seat, I slept on top of you, but you never pushed me away, I know it. I know every bit of what you have done for me, I know how good you are to me, I also know how dead you are for me, I know that I have lost you, and I will never find the same you in the world, I know it. He looked at me and said with great affection.

"You've lost me, I'm not the stupid person I used to be, and I'm not going to do to you the way I used to. You see, I already have my own world, I can be well fed and clothed, I don't need love so much anymore, and the biggest growth in the past two years is that I finally got rid of my dependence on love, and I began to enjoy this kind of life now. I looked at him and said word by word.

"If you don't want to accept me now, let me be by your side in this way, I want to watch you and don't want any man to sneak you away again. I want to be by your side every moment to save myself from being stolen by someone else. He smiled with relief, and suddenly his expression became serious again, and he said, "I know that you have been tired of love over the years, and you have endured enough. For the rest of the time, I will chase you, I will love you, I will bear your willfulness, and I will bear everything you have endured, okay? ”

I looked at him helplessly, and I said, "I won't defend you anymore, if I meet someone better and more suitable for me, I may choose someone else." I'm not going to hold my ground as much as I used to, you have to. Is that acceptable to you? ”

He looked at me suspiciously, then he nodded heavily, and he said, "Even if I get back to the starting line and chase you again, I'm willing." ”

At this time, the romantic postman uncle knocked on my office door again and said to me, "Little book, your letter is here again." ”

There was a natural sense of joy on my face, and I took the letter and opened it, on which a sentence was vigorously written in square script: "The best love is this: no matter how you run, always in the direction of each other." ”