I always thought that I would never be able to say such things in my life, but when I said it calmly, I realized that being a bastard was not as difficult as I imagined, maybe because as long as I opened my mouth, there was no longer a reason not to say it, and I could frankly face the embarrassment and unbearable in my heart.

I stood there, staring at Su Ruoshui, I knew that my simple words were like thousands of arrows piercing her heart, and no one could empathize with her about the pain.

She kept crying, didn't come forward, didn't speak, I stood there looking at her, cruel without even a word of comfort, at this moment I selfishly only wanted her to hate me, to be completely disappointed in me, and then, let me go, and let her go.

Su Ruoshui cried for a while, wiped her tears, squeezed out a smile that was more ugly than crying, and said: "This is the holy land of the Buddha Hall, and to say this kind of thing is to insult the quiet place of the Buddha Hall, so let's stop talking about it, you go out first." ”

I didn't expect that my ruthless confession was not waiting for Su Ruoshui's questioning and abuse, but this sentence, I was stunned for a moment, and then I understood that she wanted to be quiet and wanted to use this excuse to escape this matter, but some things can't be delayed, and they must be solved when we make up our minds. I admit that I can't wait, I don't want her to have any illusions about me anymore, because I'm afraid, I'm afraid that I will relent, and then I will only hurt more people.

Thinking of this, I said, "The master said, the Buddha can't solve your problem, and it is meaningless for you to worship the Buddha, let's find a place to talk." ”

After speaking, I reached out to hold Su Ruoshui's wrist and wanted to take her out, but who knew that she desperately shook me off, and suddenly shouted hoarsely: "I don't want to go!" I don't want to talk to you, Chen Ming, don't force me, okay? ”

I was shocked, turned my face, only to see her eyes full of pain, looking at me with pleading in her eyes, at this moment, my hand loosened, she immediately withdrew her hand, turned around and knelt on the futon, I still wanted to say something, the master said: "Buddhism is pure, please also ask this layman to know how to measure." ”

I was already soft-hearted, but now that I heard the master say this, I was even more reluctant to 'embarras' Su Ruoshui anymore, I looked at her and said, "Escaping won't solve any problems, Sister Shui, I will wait for you outside, and I will come to you when you are in a good mood." ”

Su Ruoshui didn't answer me, but her shoulders were shaking, I knew she was crying, just like she buried her face in the quilt and cried last night, silently, helplessly.

I turned to leave, my heart heavy, and my steps became heavy.

I came to squat under a tree not far away, and the weather was fine at this time, but my mood was like a dark cloud, and my mind was full of those things from the past, those beautiful and heart-rending love words that I had said to her.

"From today on, I'm going to be a love madman."

"I want to sing a song to the person I love the most, I want to tell him that I have made mistakes, I have hurt him, but now, I want to be with him."

"Little virgin brother, can I love you?"

- "I'll take you to eat hot pot later, and I'll take you to a movie tonight when I'm done." ”

- "Just like any other couple?" ”

- "Yes, just like any other couple. ”

"I don't care how many people you have in your heart, I don't care who you're having an affair with outside, I just want a small space, I think, where you are completely mine, that's enough."

"The person I love the most passed away 154 days ago, and I heard that doing more good deeds to accumulate virtue for him can make him live happily in another world without suffering so much, so I have always insisted on doing a good deed every day......"

- "You're still alive, you've come to save me, but why don't you recognize me?" Am I already your trouble? ”

- "No, it's just that I can't recognize you because of the mission. My sister Shui is so good, why am I willing to leave you alone? ”

"I shot you, and now I'm back, fair or not?"

"Live well, okay?"

……

Shen Nuoyan handed over a tissue, I struggled to withdraw from the past memories, wiped my face, only to find that I had already been full of tears, I buried my head, held my head in pain, and said: "It's me who is sorry for her, I always knew that these were my own mistakes, sins, she was not wrong at all, but I couldn't find a way not to hurt her...... What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I can't say what I said again. ”

I thought I would never cry like this again, I thought I could deal with this matter steadfastly, but when these memories came like raging waves, I once again lost my troops and disarmed in front of these memories, in front of her affection.

Shen Nuoyan didn't speak, maybe he didn't know what to say to me, he just squatted quietly beside me and was sad with me.

I babbled some things, talking about my former bastard innocence, talking about the immaturity and greed at that time, talking about her grievances in this relationship, humble and pitiful, talking about the struggle that surged in my heart, I knew that everything now was retribution, retribution for my ignorance, but ...... Why did I make a mistake and hurt her Su Ruoshui?

I stood up, staggered to myself, and said, "I, Chen Ming!" Just a complete bastard! It's me who should be sad, it's me who should be abandoned, I'm a scumbag who should be struck by lightning, why should such a good woman hold on to it? It's not fair to her! ”

There were some tourists around, all looking at me like stupid people, Shen Nuoyan pulled me and said: "Chen Ming, you calm down, this kind of emotion will only make you even more unable to handle this matter, think about it, why are you so determined to reject her?" ”

Shen Nuoyan's words calmed me down, I looked at him, and said slowly: "It's to tell her not to waste time on me anymore, and it's to be with Song Jiayin." ”

It's to fulfill the love I have chosen now.

It's just that I can't talk about it.

Shen Nuoyan nodded and said: "It's good that you know, just like you said, you can't give her what she wants, you have wasted her best years, you can't waste her remaining time, Chen Ming, she is not small, we are not small, in this world, time is such a thing, no one can afford to consume, so, you are for her good, you have to strengthen this belief, even if it is shameless, but this can paralyze yourself, this is enough." ”

I looked at Shen Nuoyan, he looked at me, and said bitterly: "You often say that you are a bad guy, since this is the case, you will continue to be bad." ”

Listening to Shen Nuoyan's words, I calmed down a little, he took out a cigarette and handed it to my mouth, I held the cigarette, he lit it for me, and said: "Calm down, don't have any more hesitation, I believe that she who has loved you so much will understand you, as long as you say it well." ”

At this time, Su Ruoshui walked out of the Buddhist hall in despair, and when she saw me looking at her, she also looked up at me, at this time she was not wearing a hat or a mask, many people recognized her, at this moment, something strange happened, a group of people rushed over from all directions, and rushed towards Su Ruoshui excitedly, at first glance I thought they were fans, but they rushed quickly, and there were men and women, old and young, I was suddenly extremely uneasy in my heart, and said coldly: "Protect Su Ruoshui!" ”

After I finished speaking, my bodyguards surrounded Su Ruoshui, and I also rushed over, but there were more than 100 people on the other side, but there were only a few people on our side, and there was no way to stop them, unless they used force or even pulled out their guns, but these people were ordinary people, presumably because someone instructed them, so once I pulled out my guns, maybe we would fall into a bigger conspiracy.

I was annoyed when I thought of this, and I couldn't help but think, who would have thought of using ordinary people to create a crisis? If these people weren't ordinary people, I wouldn't have found out at the last minute that there was such a danger lurking around me.

As I thought about this, we had been 'pushed' to the other side of the steps by this group of people, and I vaguely guessed the purpose of these people, but I couldn't believe it, because I never thought that a group of ordinary people would put someone who had nothing to do with me to death for money.

I shouted, "Get out of the way, if you don't, I'm not going to be polite to you." ”

Shen Nuoyan said: "We have been shouting for a long time, and these people don't listen at all, what should we do?" ”

These people continued to push us to the side, shouting Su Ruoshui's name, and those who didn't know really thought they were Su Ruoshui's fans. I was upset for a while, gritted my teeth and said, "Throw money!" ”

When Shen Nuoyan heard this, his eyes lit up, and then he took out his wallet, and I looked at Su Ruoshui, she grabbed my arm in a little panic at this time, someone had already put his foot into the gap, and was stepped on her, and someone took the opportunity to rub oil with his hand, I was annoyed, turned around and took her into my arms, she was shocked, and then raised her head and looked at me with affection.

Shen Nuoyan threw a handful of money into the sky, many people suddenly saw the money and ran to pick up the money, I felt that our pressure was instantly a lot less, just when I was relieved, I suddenly saw a bright dagger from the rear towards Su Ruoshui's waist, I panicked, pushed Su Ruoshui away, and then kicked on the person, but this gap, Su Ruoshui screamed, I turned around, and I saw an old lady pulling her sleeve and pulling her down the steps.

Looking at Su Ruoshui, who was about to fall, I didn't want to, I rushed up and hugged her, and then used my body to protect her, and fell down with her in embarrassment, with Shen Nuoyan's angry and concerned shouts in my ears.

Su Ruoshui and I rolled all the way down, and when I stopped, I felt as if I had been crushed by something, and my headache was terrible, Su Ruoshui broke free from my arms, looked at me in a panic and said, "Chen Ming, are you okay?" ”

I looked at her and said, "Don't worry, I'm fine." ”

Su Ruoshui suddenly cried and laughed, she hugged my neck tightly, and cried bitterly: "You scared me to death, you know? You're scaring me to death! ”

I wanted to push her away, but I didn't move when her warm tears poured into my neck, and I thought, just for a moment, just hold her for a while.