Zhang Zhe didn't answer the phone and scheduled to go out together, but the two seemed to have disappeared together. Zhang Xuan pressed the phone irritably. I didn't have class, Zhang Yuan sat opposite and kept playing with his mobile phone. Zhang Xuan stood up and called him: "Let's go to Zhang Zhe's house to have a look, the two of them have not heard from me all day, I'm a little worried." Zhang Yuan put away his mobile phone: "I have an extra class in the evening, you can go." With that, he took his bag and walked out.

Zhang Xuan was a little surprised, in the past, Zhang Zhe was very active in showing up when he had something, and he couldn't stop it, and today's state seems a little strange. Zhang Xuan shook his head and didn't think much about it. He's also older, maybe it's in love or something. I don't want to interfere too much in his private life.

Zhang Zhe rang the doorbell for a long time and no one answered the door, it was already dark, he pressed the password and walked in by himself.

The dim light of the street lamp shone into the house, and Zhang Zhe sat on the ground against the wall, motionless. Zhang Xuan was startled, ran over and grabbed his shoulder: "Brother? Zhang Zhe slowly turned his head to look at Zhang Xuan: "You are here" Zhang Zhe's voice was hoarse like sandpaper polished porcelain, his eyes were dull and unfocused. Zhang Xuan took a breath of cold air: "What's wrong with you?" What about Chen Chen? Hearing Chen Chen's name, Zhang Zhe's heart throbbed and he couldn't breathe.

Fragility is what it is, when you have no one to rely on, everything seems to be able to be carried by yourself; But once you have someone around you who can rely on a little, even the original insignificant suffering can make you cry bitterly; And the pain that you could have barely endured will be enough to break you.

But Zhang Zhe suddenly smiled, "She's gone, she doesn't want me anymore." Zhang Zhe's tone of voice seemed to be talking about other people's affairs, but his face was desolate and desolate like a desert where no grass grows. It was the first time Zhang Xuan saw him smile like this, as if he had seen through everything, and he was going to accept everything, and he didn't want to struggle at all.

Zhang Zhe is sad that after she left, she began to think about her life alone. She said that she was indecisive and that sooner or later there would be this day. He wasn't quite sure if it was true, but he couldn't make a decision that was certain.

When the doorbell rang, Zhang Zhe lowered his head and did not respond, Zhang Xuan stood up and went to open the door, Wang Qian squeezed in along the crack in the open door, saw Zhang Zhe in the corner, and rushed over.

"Brother Zhang Zhe, you said you came to see me today, why didn't you come, what's wrong with you?" The makeup on Wang Qian's face was flowery, and her red and swollen eyes looked like she had been crying for a long time.

Zhang Zhe raised his head and stared at Wang Qian with a worried expression. Chen Chen's words suddenly appeared in his mind, and he slowly spoke: "Don't come, okay?" It's all for you, don't come to me again, I have nothing, nothing more to give. His voice was tired, like an old man who had struggled all his life, faced too much trauma and helplessness, and began to compromise with life in his last days, wanting to accept it and not plan to continue to resist.

"You said you were going to see me today, why didn't you come?" Wang Qian does not plan to give up.

Zhang Zhe didn't intend to answer her. But Wang Qian's step-by-step appearance made him suddenly remember what he had been doing all these years. It's obviously not a failure, but life seems to be wasted. He turned his head to stare at Wang Qian.

His eyes were bloodshot red, and his messy hair and red sockets looked fierce. He burst out laughing

"What do you want? What do you want as a family? There's nothing more for you, don't come again, don't come to me again! Zhang Zhe's tone became more and more excited, and at the last little bit it turned into a roar.

Wang Qian seemed to have never seen the collapsed Zhang Zhe, so she cried out in fright, trying to comfort him with thin language: "Brother Zhang Zhe, what's wrong with you?" ”

Zhang Xuan stepped forward to grab him and took him into his arms. He leaned on Zhang Xuan's shoulder and finally couldn't restrain himself from crying: "What should I do? She said that sooner or later we will have this day, why do we have such a day, why will I have this day? ”

What we thought was free was always the most expensive. Zhang Zhe didn't know how others grew up, whether they went to the playground on their birthdays or went down to the river with their children to fish in the summer. From the very beginning of his life, he was a man. The age was guessed by Zhang Xuan's mother, and life was lived according to the needs of others; The cruelest thing is not that you don't know what you want, but that you know that this is not what you want, but you can't be sure of what you want. It's stuck in the middle, not up or down. You can't be completely depraved, you can't think; I can't be excited and find what I'm after.

Chen Chen was very afraid of this world, but he knew what he wanted, she came and taught him how to think; And then gone. After seeing the best, how can it be so simple, to be able to turn back and feel at ease with filth and turbidity.

The most terrifying thing is that he sorted out his life, and it seems that only the day he was sent to the orphanage, wrapped in his blanket, was the only clue in his life.

Zhang Xuan hugged Zhang Zhe, turned his head and whispered to Wang Qian, "You go, don't come again." This house is mine, you are not welcome here. ”

Wang Qian tried to say something, but Zhang Xuan interrupted her: "If you don't leave, I'm going to call the police." Wang Qian didn't say anything, stood up with a sob, and walked out step by step.

Zhang Zhe couldn't remember what happened after that, and when he opened his eyes, he was lying on the bed. Zhang Xuan was lying on the other side of the bed. Dizzy, raising his hand to block the dazzling sunlight, Zhang Zhe slowly sat up. What happened? Zhang Zhe held his forehead; Chen Chen left. His heart began to throb and he wanted to cry, Zhang Zhe closed his eyes and covered his chest and lowered his head.

Zhang Xuan didn't know how to comfort him. Lifted the quilt and stood up and walked out.

Zhang Yuan opened the door and walked in with breakfast. After Zhang Zhe fell asleep yesterday, Zhang Xuan called him, explained the situation, and asked him to bring breakfast.

Zhang Yuan put things on the coffee table and asked in a low voice, "Brother Zhang Zhe is already thoughtful, I don't know if I can stand it." ”

Zhang Xuan didn't say anything because he didn't know the answer. Zhang Zhe collapsed like this, it seems that it is not only because of Chen Chen, but also because of Chen Chen. Before she came, Zhang Zhe never thought about whether his contribution to Wang Qian's family was right or not, it seemed like his obligation. He may be unhappy, but he doesn't feel hopeless. After she came, Zhang Zhe began to think, began to ask what he wanted, and began to hesitate why he did it.

Beginning to doubt oneself is the starting point of correction and the fuse of collapse.

Zhang Yuan's father died unexpectedly not long after he was born. At that time, Zhang Xuan was only ten years old, as if he had grown up in an instant, and Zhang Xuan never went out to run all over the street with his children. All the extracurricular time is spent on my younger brother. When I was in school, my mother took my younger brother to work in an orphanage; Zhang Xuan went with his mother during the holiday, his mother went to take care of the children who were lost by other people's homes, Zhang Xuan stood next to the little Zhang Yuan to coax him to sleep and wiped his saliva, until Zhang Zhe suddenly appeared in his mother's office and accompanied him to try to change Zhang Yuan's diaper.

Zhang Zhe didn't speak all the time, Zhang Xuan thought he was dumb, and he didn't speak, just by gesturing. There was always a family who came to see him on weekends with two little children and never took him with them. Tong Yan Wuji is the most innocent and the most vicious. The early death of his father made Zhang Xuan precocious, and he pieced together Zhang Zhe's story from their mouths: Zhang Zhe was eight years old when he was adopted, and his adoptive parents always wanted children, but they didn't, after the doctor completely broke off the thoughts of the two people, they decided to adopt one, and the quiet and sensible Zhang Zhe was taken a fancy at a glance. But when Zhang Zhe was eleven years old, he was diagnosed with a person who said that he would not have children, but he became pregnant. The good news of the dragon and phoenix fetus is not only exciting, but also depressing. Wang Qian's father is an ordinary salaryman who works as a teacher in an elementary school; My mother has no job, and the three children are not easy to raise, so the final decision is to send Zhang Zhe back.

When they told Zhang Zhe that they were going to send him back, they cried very sadly, explaining how helpless, how unbearable, and how helpless they were forced to send Zhang Zhe back; But Zhang Zhe didn't know that what they told the dean was that Zhang Zhe tried to kill their biological child.

Tong Yan Wuji sounds cute and beautiful, but Zhang Xuan also knows how vicious it is. Being adopted and sent back is something that is unacceptable to all children. They unscrupulously talked about the reason why Zhang Zhe was sent back, added branches and leaves, and 'unintentionally' told Zhang Zhe. Zhang Zhe was silent, and he only suffered silently.

Fortunately, they still hold their two children to see Zhang Zhe every weekend, and when the two children grow up, they also call him brother affectionately. Every time they came, Zhang Zhe was very happy, and kept talking and laughing around them. Say goodbye obediently when you leave. But the smiling faces always disappear with their disappearance.

When Zhang Zhe was 20 years old, Zhang Xuan was only 19 years old. Mom was overworked and collapsed on the desk. Before leaving, she grabbed Zhang Xuan's hand and told Zhang Xuan to take care of her younger brother, and then glanced at Zhang Zhe, who was standing silently by the wall, opened her mouth but didn't make a sound, closed her eyes and never opened them again.

Zhang Zhe has always been silent, as if nothing in this world will stimulate him; But Zhang Xuan grew up with him, and he could feel all the turbulence under his calm expression. Zhang Xuan never tried to comfort him, because Zhang Zhe always had an indifferent expression on his face, so you couldn't imagine that he needed comfort. Some people are afraid of being debunked when they pretend to be strong, Zhang Xuan knows that feeling, so he never comforts him.

And how much damage does it take to make him completely collapse?