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We went to visit the mother and son.

Is it because I don't have a flood of motherhood? I don't want to touch this little lump of meat at all, I always feel that it is not enough to hug left and right, and I am afraid that I will fall for him.

He really looks like a little m, especially his mouth, which is carved out of the same mold. Looking at a child is like seeing the continuation of oneself, life is amazing.

Xiao M has gained a lot of weight, but he looks very good, white and red, and has the aura of honor of becoming a mother. She spoke so much faster that I was a little unaccustomed to it. Her house was a mess, full of things for the children, and I couldn't sit still.

The other feeling is that X has grown up&mdah;he began to make milk powder and take out the garbage, and he has as much money on hand as before. Xiao M made no secret of his praise for his husband: "I said that my son is my lucky star, since I gave birth to him, X has become diligent!" Ha ha! ”

X stood behind shyly and proudly smiling.

On the way back, Y looked a little lost.

He must have thought of the child he had never met and had been abandoned. It was four months since the abortion, and his ex-wife was really ruthless. But maybe it's because she hasn't really become a mother yet, and she hasn't gotten the brilliance of maternal fraternity, but after getting rid of the burden, she's still a girl as light as the wind&mdah;I don't know what happened to this girl later. Y was always secretive about his ex-wife, and I heard that he had gone to another city.

I looked at Y and sat aside without words: "Husband, I think you must be much more capable than X in the future!" You see he's clumsy when he changes diapers! ”

Y smiled and asked softly, "Then you are going to give me this opportunity to perform this year...... Or next year? ”

I immediately said, "I won't want it this year......

There was no special expression on Y's face, as if it was expected.

"This year...... I'm likely to be selected for the company's executive development program in the middle of the year," I stammered, "or should I wait until I settle down?" ”

"Hmm."

I glanced at him with little confidence. Y is 37 years old, and for me, the so-called "female career freak", when he was his age, his daughter was already 5 years old. Thinking of this, I was shocked: L is 8 years older than me, he is 39 this year, and he will be 40 next year.

I gasped, as if I had just seen this fact: the old man who is running for four is gone! Why has he never changed in my eyes, and he is still as young and handsome as he was when I first met, and even more and more childish? Does the love of not seeing firewood, rice, oil and salt really keep people young forever?

I'm 31 myself. Time flies! I don't remember what happened in the middle, from the first time I saw L, four years have passed all of a sudden! Four years! I could have graduated from college!

After I got married, I didn't care so much about my birthday. I remember when I celebrated my 30th birthday last year, I deliberately kept it simple and bland, and there was no more celebration other than receiving Y's cake (and L's Cartier blue balloon watch). Thinking of this, I still laughed secretly, Y asked me when I would change the new watch, I said that I saw it at the stall at the train station and thought it was good, saying that the parallel goods were discounted and very cheap, only more than 300 yuan. Y scolded me severely, saying that what I bought must be fake, and that I had spent money in vain. Later, he took a closer look at it himself, and sighed: "Don't say that this workmanship is not bad." I glanced at him nonchalantly: this engineering idiot who grew up poor would not find anything.

I can ask my lover to buy me a watch for 30,000 yuan, but I still have to cry poverty with my husband.

The gift of his 30th birthday, the iron rooster readily agreed, saying that it was counted as compensation for "lost and regained"&mdah;I broke up with him when I gave him a Longines watch, and he has always been haunted by this stalk. After this incident, I went back and taught: "Don't keep buying logos in the future!" Otherwise, I have to search for the same model on Taobao every time, and then waste dozens of hundreds of dollars to buy it back and steal the beams and change the pillars, and lie to my husband that it is a cheap A goods. "If I don't really buy it, I'm afraid that I will check my online shopping records in the future.

It's been four years.

From another point of view, it is proved that the maintenance of a certain extramarital relationship can really be long-term and hidden&mdah; For me, the road to cheating after marriage has just begun, and I feel powerless: perhaps my sense of moral self-condemnation is still above L.

I rubbed my hands together silently, and I didn't move for a long time. Y asked me, "What do you want to eat at night?" I bought pork ribs yesterday, do you want to make sweet and sour pork ribs? ”

This 37-year-old man is my husband. He taught me the traditional family dishes that I had loved since I was a child, and his skills were comparable to those of my mother. In addition to sweet and sour pork ribs, he is also very good at sharp pepper back to the pot meat and boiled fish. Although he himself can't eat spicy food. Can you control a woman's heart by tying her stomach? When I work late at night now, I definitely just want to go home and drink millet porridge with pickles. If you're going to let me go out for a late night snack with a bunch of people again, I'll lose my appetite in an instant.

It seems that it can. When you are old, your stomach can't stand the toss.

I pinched Y's cheek and said, "Save more money, I'll be your mother next year." ”

"What nonsense! I'm almost the same as being your father! Y gave me a mischievous look and smiled happily, "Then I will have to raise two daughters: a big girl and a little girl." ”

"How did you know I was going to have a daughter?"

"Didn't you say you wanted to marry Xiao M?"

"Give birth to a son and get married, when the time comes, see if she dares!"

"Don't talk nonsense!"

I grinned and grabbed Y's arm, and he pushed me away and patted me on the head: "Go home and make trouble, what about driving." ”

Well, I believe that it won't be long before I will be promoted and raised, become a general manager, become a CEO, marry Bai Fumei, and reach the peak of my life. That's it.

In the dark parallel world full of thrills, lies and deception in my heart, there was suddenly a ray of light:

If I'm pregnant with a child, maybe I'll be able to make a complete break with L.

It's been less than a year since then.

If I was deceiving myself when I said, "I'm going to get married next year, so I have to break up", then becoming pregnant and becoming a mother will be a powerful objective resistance. It is not subject to human will, and I firmly believe that this process, which is full of the sacredness of life, can lead me to be reborn and recreated. The best outcome of this inexplicable relationship between me and L is that time passes.

That's what I thought at the time.

Over the years, every time I thought about going on a date with L, I was thrilled like a fawn; But every time I think of being able to see you again, my life becomes brighter, like the liberation of the eight-year War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression and the whitewashing of criminals, filled with an inexplicable and huge sense of happiness. This is a battle between selfishness and soul, and carnal desire has long been sidelined.