Death is such a terrible thing, but for this girl of the same age as Mi Zixuan, death is a kind of relief, the only way to break free from all pain.

Mi Zixuan looked at her eyes that glowed with a full look of hope, and really wanted to say to her, "Don't give up, I have a way to cure you." ”

But he opened his mouth a few times, but in the end he didn't say a word, because now he really has no ability to cure her illness, he doesn't want to give hope to the girl in front of him who is suffering from illness, and then let this hope be disillusioned with his own hands, it is too cruel, for her, for her parents, is there anything more cruel in the world than giving hope to people and destroying this hope with his own hands?

Seeing that Mi Zixuan didn't speak for a long time, the glow in Song Liwan's eyes dimmed little by little, and finally became that empty eyes with no brilliance.

Mi Zixuan sighed silently, pulled over the chair and sat next to her, and whispered: "I know that death is a relief for you, but I'm sorry, I really can't help you." At the end of this sentence, Mi Zixuan's voice trembled a little.

He and Song Liwan don't know each other, today is the first time they meet, two strangers in this world that is so cold that it is already outrageous, one party should not have pity for the other, sympathy or even want to help each other.

But Mi Zixuan just wanted to help Song Liwan, he pitied her, he sympathized with her, he didn't want her to be so miserable.

Why is this happening? Because of Mi Zixuan's profession, he is a doctor, and because of Song Liwan's identity, she is a patient.

Seeing this, it is estimated that someone is going to scold, how can a black-hearted doctor have sympathy?

Is the doctor black-hearted? The answer for many people is yes, why blackheart? Because they have drug rebates, they try their best to prescribe more drugs to patients in order to earn more rebates.

That's the thing, yes and no.

Drug rebates do exist, but has anyone ever wondered what a doctor's base salary is? Has anyone ever wondered why there is a commission on medicines?

In the county-level hospital where Mi Zixuan is located, the basic salary of doctors in 08 is more than 800, how much is left after deducting insurance? 08 years of night shift 5 yuan, this is just a county-level second-class hospital, the number of disease sources is not comparable with large hospitals, and there are other hospitals in the county, public hospitals of traditional Chinese medicine, maternal and child health care hospitals, private men's hospitals, fraternity hospitals, there are so many hospitals in the small county, there will definitely be a certain number of patients.

How many patients can there be in the county hospital? There are patients who don't trust the county hospital, and there is a slight big problem, either going to the city hospital or going to the capital, and many patients are diverted.

Fewer patients means less bonuses, and there are only more than 1,000 good departments in 08, and 500 departments like emergency departments.

Without drug rebates, a grassroots doctor would earn more than 1,000 yuan, and the housing prices at that time were about to exceed 2,000.

Even today, doctors' salaries have only risen by more than 2,000 points several times, and housing prices have exceeded the 6,000 mark.

Today, the tension between doctors and patients is getting worse and worse, and incidents of medical staff being beaten up occur from time to time, even if doctors get drug rebates, even when there are the most patients in a department like the emergency department, the grassroots doctors only make four or five thousand quick money every month.

Is that a lot of money? Some people say a lot, then have you thought about the cost of education without a doctor, how much is the tuition fee for five years of college, and what is the cost of living for five years? How much does it cost to go to the hospital? And a doctor who has just entered the hospital still has to study, take the exam, and only after obtaining the medical practitioner qualification certificate and having his ability recognized, can he be eligible to get the four or five thousand quick money.

How long does it take for studying, exams, and abilities to be recognized? It will be nearly three years at the earliest, and how old is this doctor at this time? I'm afraid I'll have to be twenty-seven or eighteen years old, but it's still going well, not going well? I guess I'm thirty, or even older.

If people of the same age have outstanding abilities, I am afraid that it will not take long to get this money after graduation, but those who choose the medical industry cannot, and they have to wait for two or three years, which belong to pre-job training, and the basic salary will not be paid in full, and they also need family support.

Paying such a large cost of education, and the job is quite dangerous, you may be beaten and scolded at any time, and then you can earn five or six thousand fast every month, which is not enough to buy a square meter house, how fucked is this profession?

Some people say that doctors can prescribe more medicines, but are patients and their families stupid? The matter of drug kickbacks has long been a secret that is not a secret, even if this doctor is black-hearted and desperate, patients and their families will not be able to see it? Will you settle accounts with him after you see it?

So even if the doctor is in the dark, he doesn't dare to do such a thing, because he can't bear the consequences.

And not all doctors have such low professional ethics, if so, there would not be so many doctors and nurses on the front line during SARS, so many people died, and there would not be so many doctors and nurses rushing to the front line of earthquake relief in several earthquake relief.

Most people in this profession abide by their professional ethics because they don't want to raise interest rates and make their profession more undignified in today's increasingly tense doctor-patient relationship.

Most people in this profession have the same compassion as you, me, and him, because of the profession, there will be more compassion than ordinary people.

Doctors are accustomed to seeing life and death, indifferent to death, numb to the point of making ordinary people outrageous, but under this numbness is a deep helplessness and powerlessness, because they can't save these patients, they blame themselves, they are in pain, but they don't want to show this expression, so they can only wear a mask of numbness to cover up all their self-blame and pain.

People who have never been a doctor will never be able to understand these feelings that belong only to medical care.

Mi Zixuan is also blaming himself, because he obviously has a cure for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, but because of the limitations of science and technology, he is helpless against Song Liwan's illness.

He sympathized with her, he was also blaming himself, he hated his own incompetence, he hated this damn era, why technology was so backward.

But Song Liwan said in a voice without any human feelings: "You know what? It's so painful for me to live like this. ”

Mi Zixuan lowered his head and said, "I know." ”

Song Liwan's tone suddenly became a little intense, and she said loudly: "Then why don't you let me get relief from this pain?" Can't you let me die with dignity? ”

Mi Zixuan stopped talking, he actually knew very well that death was the only way for her to get relief from the pain, and it was also the only way for her to leave her last dignity, but Mi Zixuan couldn't help her.

Because there is no euthanasia in Huaxia.

If there is, Mi Zixuan would prefer to give her this way to free her and retain her last dignity, rather than just lying on the bed and pulling, urinating and not knowing at all, and then waiting for death to come, this process is too painful and deprives her of her dignity as a human being in the end.

Song Liwan turned her head sideways and shouted frantically, "Aren't you a doctor?" Isn't it your duty to heal the sick and save people? Haven't you always said that you want to alleviate the suffering of your patients? I know you can't do anything about my illness, and I don't ask you to cure me, because I know it's impossible.

But I just want to die, I really don't want to be in such pain, I don't want to even pull and pee, I don't want my parents to change my pants when I'm old, I'm not a baby, I'm an adult, I really don't want to live so undignified, if you're really a doctor, you just let me leave with dignity, I've had enough, I've really had enough, I'm begging you to do it. ”

Speaking of this, I don't know Song Liwan's strength, she actually sat up slightly, and then grabbed the corner of Mi Zixuan's clothes, she cried: "I beg you, I'm in too much pain, it's really painful, can you help me, help me, let me die, let me die." ”

Facing Song Liwan's hoarse shout, Mi Zixuan stood there blankly.

Song Liwan was completely desperate, her hand slipped silently, and then she lay there motionless like a soulless walking corpse.

Mi Zixuan raised his head and looked at Song Liwan, and he suddenly said, "I will give you the last dignity and wait for me." Still saying this, Mi Zixuan resolutely turned around and left.

And Song Liwan's empty eyes lying on the hospital bed once again glowed a little brighter, that look was the desire for death, and that look was the hope of being able to be free from pain.

Mi Zixuan went out, sitting in the office without saying a word, his face was ugly and terrible.

I don't know how long it took, he suddenly said, "Has Song Liwan's family returned?" ”

The nurse was already frightened enough by Mi Zixuan's terrifying face, but when she suddenly heard his words again, she was immediately startled, and stammered a little: "Just now, I just came back." ”

Mi Zixuan stood up, turned around and left.

Xiang Qi Xuan had a bad premonition in her heart, and she hurriedly said, "Mi Zixuan, what are you going to do?" ”

Mi Zixuan's angry and cold voice came: "Do what a doctor should do." ”

Xiang Qixuan hurriedly chased out, but she was still a step too late, Mi Zixuan had already called Song Tao out, he looked at the father in front of him who was numb to the point of pain and said directly: "Your daughter is too painful, I hope you can respect her decision and let her die with dignity, instead of lying on the bed and waiting for death." ”

Song Tao's numb eyes suddenly changed, his eyes were angry and painful, he grabbed Mi Zixuan's collar and roared, "What did you say?" You're going to let my daughter die? You ......"

Xiang Qixuan rushed over and hurriedly said to Song Tao: "Don't get excited, he ...... He ......, "Xiang Qixuan really doesn't know how to explain it, because what Mi Zixuan said is right.