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When I write the conditions of y in my mind, my mind is full of reasonFirst of all, this person is not annoying, and then I have to find out the reason for his divorce, and then I have to look at his character and qualities, and then I have to look at his development prospects, and then I have to understand his family members, and then I have to ......

I finally know what it was like to get married on a blind date.

If the Y condition is the same, then I gladly accept it.

The most amazing thing is that when I was dating Y, I don't know if it was because he could always give me some new experiences, or because I needed to take care of it seriously, and I would completely forget about those stalls. At that time, it was like a life-saving straw that gave me hope in life again. So I'm quite optimistic about the development of Hey, this opportunity is hard to come by, and it has the unique advantage of all exclusivity.

I certainly didn't fall in love with Y right away. We're just good friends who work together toward a "higher goal", so reason prevails over everything else, and it's natural to make a general choice to go to the market. So later, whenever I found some shortcomings in Y, I would frown, look at the other conditions in the food basket in my hand, and decide whether I could pack them together and accept them. This is a world away from my unconditional acceptance of a basket of faults. Marriage is not exactly the same as love&mdah;the former is that you choose it, and the latter is that it chooses you. Do you remember that I once made a vivid analogy: falling in love is like renting a house, and getting married is like buying a house, the requirements of the two situations are different, so the final choice of the object is naturally different.

Of course, it is best to be able to make two in one. It's a pity that there is no 100% good thing in the world. When I was nearly 30 years old, Y was the closest person I had ever met to meet my marriage requirements, stable and gentle, although I didn't fall in love at first sight, but also had a little affection, which made me feel confident about my future life. I can't miss him anyway.

At the beginning of my contact with Y, I still quietly went to L's date. Ben has always been the one who took the initiative to find me, and my emotions were hidden, and he didn't see the clues.

I decided to have a showdown with L after I decided to confirm the relationship with Y. I don't even think about what I'm going to say or what will happen now.

It's going to be L's 37th birthday soon.

"What do you want for your birthday?" I asked him on the phone.

"Whatever you want." l said gently.

I smile. There was a softness in my heart.

I miss him so much. But I don't want to say it anymore. I have to slowly strengthen myself so that when I face our collapsed world in the future, I won't collapse in an instant.

I will still follow L's "standard" and take the initiative to contact him several times a week so that he does not complain. When I'm alone, I really miss L, after all, two years of happy time here. Can you understand the two different states of mind? One is that from the moment you open your eyes to the moment you go to bed, you always feel that there is a warm existence on the other end of the phone, and you look forward to it but do not force any moment of warmth; As for Y, the other is the only moment I receive his message, the corners of my mouth will rise and smile happily, happy that he cares about me.

It was a rainy day, Friday, and it was close to the end of work.

I guess L should be free at this time, so I called his dedicated mobile phone.

It was connected, but no one answered for a long time. I guess I didn't have this phone with me.

I texted his work phone again: "Is it easy to answer the phone?" ”

He replied to me: "It's in a meeting." ”

"Okay, you get busy first." I replied.

Usually this is the end of today's contact.

As a result, at about 8 o'clock in the evening, L called: "The meeting just ended." ”

"Oh." I say.

"I don't know if I'm in a meeting with my boss today," L suddenly became excited, "If it wasn't for the meeting, I really want to scold you." I chose to call at that time......"

I couldn't help but smile, knowing that he was bluffing to show his attention to me&mdah;because he didn't just press my phone. He never does that, even when it's inconvenient to answer. This is also a strange "etiquette" insistence on his part, like always taking me to the subway station in the first place.

I pretended to be aggrieved and said, "I'm sorry, didn't I harass you too much, so I won't call you so much in the future, right?" ”

"Don't!" l Sure enough, his tone softened, "You're doing this very well." ”

My heart really warms. There's nothing happier than knowing that someone you like loves you just as much. The feeling of being pampered all in one.

"I'm going to have to work overtime again." l hummed helplessly, and suddenly the conversation changed, "Hurry up and take off your panties!" Let me ......" He began to decompress the erotic review again, this time there were improvements in specific terms, and I laughed when I heard it.

"You want to see me?" I asked in a whisper.

"It's all hard." L said, "We'll see how it goes." ”

"Don't do it, you work overtime, and you'll see you on your birthday next week." I reassured him.

l's birthday was a working day, and he took the time to spend it with me the night in advance, and the night of his birthday belonged to his family as usual.

I started preparing many days in advance. Book a buffet and a hotel, and the gifts are bought early in the morning.

On this day a year ago, I gave L a pair of cufflinks, and this is the beginning of this scene. The wildfire burned into the wasteland and began to spread indefinitely. Recalling the beginning, with a smile and a frown, the figure of the girl with a fawn in her heart seemed to be right in front of me, standing in the boiling water room and listening to the footsteps that were getting closer and closer. I looked at myself who secretly loved L back then, and felt pity and nostalgia. It's been a year. I was able to sleep with him in my arms, but the taste was not as sweet as I had imagined. I don't know if L has any other feelings.

I sat in his passenger seat, and before he could do anything, Y's call came.

It's nothing, I made an appointment for tomorrow night's dinner. It's a very common conversation.

l drove silently, and after I hung up the line, he asked, "Who is it?" ”

I was secretly shocked.

I used to answer the phone in front of him, and he never asked who it was, when I was leading a colleague's friend, or a classmate, who sold insurance.

"A friend." I replied a little unnaturally.

He didn't say anything more.

However, I always felt a thorn in my back, and kept reflecting on &mdah; was there any difference in my tone just now? Shouldn't it? It's really a friend at this stage...... Maybe I'm thinking too much. But it has to be said that men sometimes have a keen sixth sense. I used to lie to him that he had a boyfriend, but he didn't believe it.

At the moment I was in a very depressed mood&mdah;as if I was the one who cheated on me, doing something unseemly outside behind my back. It seems that I am really not suitable to be a lover after marriage.

I need to adjust my condition as soon as possible.