When I appeared in front of Lao Gou with a band-aid on my face and half of my swollen face, he was really startled, he subconsciously took two steps back, and before I could ask him a question, he hurriedly stepped forward and asked cautiously: "Why did your face become like this, like an angel who fell to the mortal world, did your face fall to the ground?" ”

"Someone stepped on the face."

"Hey, stepping on like this, it looks like you can't go to the United States."

"Why?"

"Because you're ugly."

Me: "......"

For a moment, I had the feeling of going back to the past, in the past, Lao Gou and I often used this way to have a mutually destructive way of dialogue, but now we talk in the same way as before, and it is more of a sense of loss of things and people. After being ridiculed by Lao Gou coldly, I didn't put too much emotion on this joke, but asked directly: "What are you doing here, is it because Li Shi is here?" ”

"We don't spend much time together, I'm busy, she's busier, it's common to get together less and leave more, and we sit together when we have the opportunity."

"Good guy, now you don't shy away from it!"

"Why should I shy away? There are some self-evident things, why do you want to ask and guess? I've heard that you've been on a rapid start since you left the hostel, and I'm here to congratulate you. ”

"Lao Gou, you don't talk in a weird tone here, you are a lot old, it's not easy to run a travel agency, I don't know what you have to toss."

"I'm so fond of tossing, I'm quite unreasonable, don't you still can't let go of my hostel? In fact, I am very happy to see you like this, you don't have to worry, one day you will know the value and meaning of my existence. ”

Needless to say, I hope you can do a good job of "Youtu" travel agency, after all, there are still so many employees who have to rely on this job to support their families. ”

"Since you still have feelings for "Youtu", then I will tell you some inside information by the way, that Jiang Laiyue is fighting with her confused father and stepmother, you be careful, don't be used and trapped, the rich man's capital game is not something you can mix, it is said that Jiang Laiyue has always been unattainable, you can get close to her, she can accept you, I'm afraid it's not a simple matter. ”

"I don't have anything worth calculating, and you don't need to worry about it."

"If you think so, I really have nothing to worry about."

After saying that, Lao Gou walked calmly towards the end of the corridor, he ripped off his wig, left the brightest head for me, and disappeared from my sight in a blink of an eye. I listened passively to him throughout this conversation, and those doubts became irrelevant with this conversation.

After Lao Gou left, I asked a little puzzled: "Li Shi, why don't you say a word?" ”

"What Mr. Gou said is what I want to say, so I don't have to say anything, I support all his decisions."

I was shocked and didn't understand what kind of force drove her to make this "transcendent worldly" decision, and finally asked her: "With your study abroad background and talents, the road in front of you is wider than the other, at least you don't have to be at the mercy of people in the hostel, why do you choose such a path?" ”

Li Shi looked at me, but did not answer again, crossed her arms around her legs, and looked at the unclear distance in distraction, this abnormal behavior made me even more confused, and then sat down on the chair not far from her, and followed her to look ......

"What are you looking at?"

"Look what's at the end of this walkway."

"And what do you see?"

"I didn't see anything but the end."

Saying that, Li Shi's expression was a little dazed and a little painful, she pressed her forehead with both hands, wrapped her down jacket tightly and said, "I'm a little tired, lie down for a while, wake me up when you're sleepy, let's sleep instead." ”

"It's so windy here, you can't bear it, find a room to sleep!"

Li Shi still stubbornly lay down, and after a long time, she didn't say another word, she pillowed her hands, curled up on her knees in a small coat, and soon fell asleep.

I sat down in the chair across from her, and then watched the wind in the hallway, playing with her hair from time to time, and the more time we spent together, the more I discovered the good in Li Shi. She knows a lot, but she never pretends to do so; Rich, but unassuming; Occasional bad temper, but covered up by delicate thoughts. Compared with Jing Qi, they have a lot in common, but in all fairness, Li Shi has a more pampered and indifferent temperament, which is difficult to cultivate, and has a bit of an innate taste.

After sitting for a while, I felt that something was really wrong, Li Shi must have caught a cold if she slept like this, but she was reluctant to rent a quilt from the hospital, so she planned to buy a quilt in a nearby supermarket, but she suffered from a wound on her face, her head ached faintly, and she was sore in several places all over her body.

I asked for a mask from the nurse to cover my face that was still red and swollen, real life is real life, after all, I can't live as the special forces king in the online novel, and I have the aura of the protagonist when I appear, and I can blow their heads when I encounter evil forces, sometimes I often think, even if I write the story I experienced as an urban novel, I am afraid that I will be scolded by readers, scolding my story for having no ups and downs, no way to develop the story, and even boring, it is estimated that many people will abandon the book when they don't see half of it.

I stood on the street for a while, determined the direction and walked hundreds of meters to find a supermarket chain, after paying the bill and walking out of the supermarket, my waist really hurt, I sat on the chair at the bus stop and watched the passing crowd in a daze, I don't like this kind of night when I am alone, because I have a lot of complaints I want to make, but the only one who is willing to listen to my complaints Lin Ke is lying in the intensive care unit, who else wants to listen to these complaints now?

So I remembered the scene of sitting in the bar yard with Lin Ke drinking, no matter how much I drank, there would always be someone who accompanied me to the end, patiently listening to my nonsense......

Thinking of those old times, remembering that I was almost separated from my friend Yin and Yang, I couldn't help but feel melancholy, so I lowered my eyebrows and lit a cigarette for myself, regretting in my heart that I shouldn't ignore Lin Ke's changes, and leave every time I finished drinking, because he was so lonely after drinking alone.

From the early hours of that morning, when Lin Ke asked me to accompany him, I should have realized that all his expressions of trying to smile were just appearances, and in the past, I always thought that he was a person who was not afraid of the sky, the earth, and nothing, so at that time I was just curious about why he was frightened by nightmares, but I never thought about the story behind this thing, until he committed suicide......

He once touched on a similar topic with me when he was drinking, saying: "This day is so sad, after a while, I will commit suicide on the live broadcast." ”

I thought he was complaining, and laughed and said, "Don't make a fuss, okay?" Why don't you go to the live broadcast of the whole luo jumping off the building? ”

He said that the impact of Quan Luo's jumping off the building was not good, and he wanted to go abroad to broadcast the injection of euthanasia, and make the whole preparation process into a 5-day live broadcast, maybe he could mix up some clicks after death.

I laughed and said that he wanted to be famous and wanted to go crazy, and said with disgust: "Internet celebrity has become a derogatory term, are you SB, still leaning up, isn't it good to live well?" ”

He smiled, but didn't speak again, remembering his expression at that time, I was in a cold sweat, and he said seriously: "I'm SB." ”

……

When I returned to the hospital with the quilt, Li Shi was still sleeping quietly, I tiptoed, subconsciously lightened my steps, and then even when the doctors and nurses on duty passed by, I didn't make any sound, for fear of disturbing this kind woman who was sleeping soundly.

I gently unfolded the quilt and put it on her, but I didn't dare to help her tuck the quilt corners, and I was already sleeping on a very uncomfortable chair, I am afraid that if I was not really tired, I would not have fallen asleep.

In the second half of the night, I gradually couldn't support it anymore, my eyelids became heavier and heavier, and finally I endured an extremely awkward posture, leaned back on the chair and fell into a deep sleep.

……

Early in the morning, I was woken up by a nurse and told me that Lin Ke woke up, I was so sore that I couldn't move, and I actually kept a position and slept all night, and then looked at the quilt on my body, and I understood.

I looked around, Li Shi should have left first, after all, the hostel's business has been surprisingly good these days, and after quickly folding the quilt, I hurriedly followed the doctor to the ward to see Lin Ke who woke up, and the doctor looked at Lin Ke, who was emotionally unstable, and then gave me a look, and then retreated first.

I looked at Lin Ke, who was full of instruments, and asked solemnly, "Do you think it's comfortable now, or is it comfortable to hang on a rope?" ”

Why did it break, I already knew that I would use wire.

"What about you, in this scenic spot, my friends are fucking left except for Song Niange, you are now looking for death and life, what do you want me to do? I'm getting depressed right now. ”

Lin Ke seemed to hear the words that made him electrocuted, and asked me with a somewhat dull gaze: "Let me ask you, if there is no hope in living, is there still meaning in living?" ”

"Yes, being alive is meaning in itself."

Lin Ke smiled miserably: "I don't live for myself, but for others." He paused, then continued: "I haven't been in touch with my parents for a long time, but I know that they are silently watching me, so I can't hold on to it, I hope they can see that I'm doing well, and then make them feel reassured, and I also want my friends to see that I'm doing well, and then let them not worry, I've been pretending, just to make you think I'm doing well......"

I was silent, and he kept muttering, "Just to make you think I'm doing well," and he repeated it many times to himself......

"No matter what, no matter how hard the days are, you have to live first, okay?"

He didn't have any emotional ups and downs, as if he was telling someone else's story, and asked me, "If being alive makes you feel pain, will you still be alive?" ”

"Mengmeng is at such a young age, but she is still tenaciously persevering, waiting for the right bone marrow, you can too."

"If I am a patient with terminal cancer who suffers from cancer pain every day, will you let me live better than death, or let me die quietly?"

Me: "......"

"Do you know cancer pain? That kind of pain is a pain that goes deep into the bone marrow, but it's not enough. The physical pain is fine, can you feel the psychological pain? There is no desire to do anything, there is no idea of living at all, every day is hopeless, you can only let yourself complete one task after another like a machine, and every day is painfully entangled because of some things that you can't let go...... The only reason I'm alive is that I can't put down the bar, and now it's gone......"

"The bar is still there, Mo Qiu hasn't been demolished."

"Life and death have gone through a while, and it is meaningless to be there."

"It's not a reason for you to be lazy, the bar still needs you to stick to it."

Lin Ke still smiled and said: "I'm not lazy, you won't understand this feeling, I can live every day, and I have exhausted all my strength." ”

Just as we were talking, Li Shi pushed the door with breakfast and walked in, she looked at Lin Ke a little confused, and then looked at me sitting on the side of Lin Ke's bed, and asked me in a very soft voice: "Lin Ke's memory has not been damaged, right?" ”

I shook my head and said, "No." ”

Li Shi seemed to see through my depression, but she bypassed me and said to Lin Ke: "Finally, this life has been saved, what you owe me should be repaid, right?" ”