Item No: SCP-031

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-031 is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment chamber in the Safe SCP wing of Site-77. Personnel interacting with SCP-031 are not to observe it directly, and are to communicate with the subject via an intercom system installed in each room. The containment chamber is to be cleaned once a week by custodial staff, who are to wear blackout goggles to attenuate the effects of SCP-031.

Description: SCP-031 is an amorphous creature weighing 75 kilograms. SCP-031 is capable of moving at speeds of up to 3 kilometers per hour, producing a trail of oil as it moves. Testing of recovered tissue samples has revealed that SCP-031 contains at least human muscle and epidermal tissue. SCP-031 is capable of mimicking human speech of any pitch and tone, but it is currently unknown how SCP-031 produces sounds.

Subjects who see SCP-031 directly will perceive it as someone they know and have ever loved. Upon becoming aware that it is being observed, SCP-031 will claim to be the aforementioned person and destitute due to an incident in the past. SCP-031 will attempt to convince the subject to allow it to remain with it for an extended period of time until its life settles down. This effect is effective on all individuals who see SCP-031, and research has not found an upper limit on the number of people affected by SCP-031.

If they enter the residence, SCP-031 will attempt to initiate a relationship with the subject. Note that SCP-031 does not touch the subject during this time, and only uses its voice. If the subject agrees, SCP-031 is to take up residence at the subject's home. When SCP-031 begins to affect additional subjects, it will persuade them to discourage them from falling in love. However, several instances of SCP-031 beginning to actively affect multiple subjects at the same time have been recorded, with the largest observed test instance being 8 simultaneous relationships.

The manner in which SCP-031 affects the subject inevitably results in conflicting perceptions of its appearance, personality, and gender when observed by multiple people. SCP-031 was recovered during a violent incident that occurred in a hotel that served as a Foundation shelter. Several subjects have reported vastly different opinions about SCP-031's appearance, and the first recovery team has been affected. However, the extensive use of amnestics and inhalation sedatives calmed all affected subjects, and SCP-031 was successfully contained by MTF (Mobile Task Force)-████-██. As of 11/16/1958, SCP-031 has been classified as Safe.

Addendum: Studies have found that frigidity subjects are not affected by SCP-031. However, all such subjects claim that SCP-031 is a small, plump humanoid encased in black smoke that resembles SCP-031's body. Testing has been scheduled to determine why these objects are so affected.

Item No: SCP-033

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: When not being studied, SCP-033 is to be documented on any irregular sheet of handmade paper, papyrus, canvas, or vellum. These paper-like planes should not have parallel edges, right angles, or any edge equal to any other (referred to as 033 Safe Plane). When SCP-033 is contained in this manner, the flat surface of the paper is to be contained in a non-combinated locked storage vault at least 30 meters away from all electronic or storage devices. If you want to take out or return a document from 033, you should fill it out at a minimum distance of 30 meters to prevent contamination of paper products or electronic devices that may be stored in this document.

When SCP-033 is removed for study, SCP-033 is to be transcribed by a D-class personnel onto a whiteboard/chalkboard that meets SCP-033's security plane requirements. Once this transcription is complete, the paper-like plane with SCP-033 is to be incinerated immediately. Research and observation of SCP-033 is to be conducted only in a laboratory at least 30 meters away from any computer or storage device, in order to obtain a maximum observation interval of 2560 seconds. All observations and notes are to be made on 033 Secure Materials. Under no circumstances are any notes related to SCP-033 to be removed from the containment facility or entered into a computer/storage device.

At the exact 2000 seconds of observation, research must cease and SCP-033 is to be transcribed onto a 033-safe paper-like material, and returned to containment by D-class personnel. Whiteboards/chalkboards used for research are to be incinerated immediately after transcription, regardless of whether SCP-033 "naturally" fades on its surface at 2560 seconds.

It is unknown whether the SCP-033 safety materials were discontinued or merely slowed down SCP-033's harmful properties. Current theories suggest that irregular borders and actions that cannot be mathematically predicted by humans somehow interfere with the logic that led to SCP-033's appearance.

Description: SCP-033 was discovered on 11/██/19██ by an alert Foundation personnel on an abandoned, irregularly torn tissue in the ████████'s ████ bar in the college town of ██████. SCP-033 appears as a complex collection of mathematical symbols, ranging from those recognizable to a layman to those that only a well-trained mathematician can recognize. The "total" of these symbols is equal to a previously unknown integer (designated as a Theta prime by Professor █████████), which sits between █ and █.

Due to the lack of awareness of the existence and function of SCP-33 in all existing mathematical models, importing it into any system that does not have it will cause it to corrode the mathematics of the system, and ultimately the structural normality of the system. This effect extends to SCP-033 being transcribed to any paper-like (defined as paper, papyrus, kraft, canvas) plane that does not have a SCP-033 security plane, or to any computer/storage device that has been fed into it. If transcribed onto any other material, SCP-033 will fade in an illegible manner after an exact 2560 seconds. In addition, SCP-033 has demonstrated the ability to "jump" from a 033 security plane to a non-manual or electronic device so that it would destroy at least one entity (Incident Report 033-D), which requires us to establish a system where there are no paper-like materials or electronic devices other than the 033 security plane within 30 meters of SCP-033.

No 033 security specifications for 033 electronic storage have been found. ██ in the Operational Research Project █ is already working on finding such a method of electronic storage. ██ Hands-on Research Project is currently working on the use of SCP-033 as a device that incapacitates potentially hostile, mechanical-logic-based SCP objects. Detailed notes made by Professor █████████ for non-specialists are to be found below, in Document 033-A, and the effects are documented in Document 033-Q.

Document 033-A: Questions taken by █████████ professor after the first observation.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

Professor █████████: Every child who goes to school knows that 2 plus 2 equals 4, and that this immutable mathematical order and numerical values are the basis of all logic-based systems. We know that after 2 is 3 and after 3 is 4. What this formula proves is that we're losing a number somewhere. Imagine that all of our technology is based on the realization that a 4 is followed by a 6. We simply don't know or don't recognize that there are 5. That's the point that this formula proves that we lose a number.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

Professor █████████: I can't tell you why handmade kraft paper works best, I can only speculate that it replaces mathematical predictiveness in two ways. First, this irregularity caused by human error in the manufacturing process obliterates all regularity that can be found in mechanical products. Second, this irregular border looks to somehow confuse it, as it looks like it's locked and looking for a recognizable plane to use as an escape pod. I've told you this, but I don't think this thing should be kept for more than a few days. It always finds some form in the end.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

Professor █████████: I don't think it "destroyed" anything, I think it's trying to integrate itself into our system and our system can't withstand it. It's like trying to shoehorn a book into a shelf that's already full. If you have a hammer, you'll be able to do that, but the shelves will eventually explode. If it escapes into the internet, we

[DATA EXPUNGED]

Document 033-Q: Experimental Results, via Experiment 033-Delta 5.

SCP-033 is written on a standard 8.5 x 11 inch piece of industrially manufactured copy paper (hereafter referred to as X1), with an identical piece of paper (hereafter referred to as X2) placed 30 cm away from it.

80 seconds later: The symbols that make up 033 begin to appear on X2, with X1 unchanged

160 seconds later: The entire 033 formula appears on X2, with no change in X1

After 320 seconds: X1, X2 are both wet, and the formula is still visible

640 seconds later: X1 has now become approximately 1 point water (obviously) 5 points of pulp analogue, still occupying an 8.5x11" flat surface, the symbols begin to become illegible, X2 is still wet, and the symbols are visible

1280 seconds later: X1 is now no longer visible. The liquid part has evaporated, and the pulp-like part has clearly sublimated. X2 has now become roughly a 1 point water 5 point pulp analogue entity, still occupying an 8.5 x 11 inch flat surface, with an indecipherable symbol.

2560 seconds later: X2 is no longer visible, the liquid has evaporated, and the pulp-like part has clearly sublimated

Notes: Public Data Recovery

Two recent news reports from Pakistan ████████ confirm that 033 has been rediscovered independently. The first part of the report mentions that mathematician ██ ███████ ████████ has successfully refuted the Riemann hypothesis and proved that there are no counterexamples. Because this situation requires that the exception to the Riemann hypothesis does not exist, this can only point to the non-existent number that we have is mentioned. However, the second part of the report mentions the collapse of the local military network system, and Foundation agents are to be dispatched there immediately and the entire area is to be cordoned off to ensure the containment breach.