Volume 5 Absurd Southern Han 27 Who is a woman?
Zhou Xuan rolled twenty-nine points, and the Snow Pig Prince lost in the good situation that the first four dice were all six points, and the two dice in the back were one two points and one point, a total of twenty-seven points, and the Snow Pig Prince lost.
The Snow Pig Prince didn't seem to expect him to lose at all, his white fat round face was full of surprise, and he looked incredulous, and turned his head to look at the three attendants beside him, two of the three attendants were eunuchs, and the other was a black-robed guard with a big nose.
"What's going on? How did you lose? β
The Snow Pig Prince asked very strangely, as if the dice were not thrown by him, but by the two eunuchs and the black-robed big nose.
The two eunuchs looked at the black-robed big nose with a reproachful look in their eyes.
The black-robed big nose was sweating at the corners of his forehead, and he suddenly pointed at the four idiots and shouted, "It's this little thin man who is making trouble!" β
Zhou Xuan understood that the Snow Pig Prince also relied on the help of the people around him to roll the dice, the eldest brother didn't say the second brother, everyone was about the same, and asked: "What's the trouble?" There are gambling rules, and if you lose, you will play with it, so how does this casino not open? β
The black-robed big nose said, "Why is this little thin man's hands under the long table?" β
Zhou Xuan turned his head to look at the four idiots, the four idiots stood with their arms crossed, and the four people in the case were coldly opposed.
Zhou Xuan smiled and said, "How can I see that the three people around Shopkeeper Liu are also holding their hands under their sleeves and clinging to the long table?" It's normal to care about the wins and losses of their respective masters, and it's normal to get closer, right, Liu Da shopkeeper? β
The Snow Pig Prince is not stupid, he knows it, and said with a smile: "Yes, yes, this game is won by the guest officer of Zhou, and it can be regarded as the guest officer of Zhou University to repay the gambling debts of the guest officer of Lin, haha." β
The shopkeeper Liu was quite polite to the guests. He was irritable to his subordinates, and he raised the teak sic bo and smashed it at the big nose in the black robe: "Get out, get out of me, useless guy!" β
This black-robed and big-nosed should have more status, and the Snow Pig Prince did not order him to be thrown into the sea, but just told him to get out.
Zhou Xuan said: "I have heard for a long time that the shopkeeper Liu loves to fight insects, and he is quite good at this, and now it is close to the Mid-Autumn Festival, and it is the time when the fierce insects are rampant, but it is a pity that the ship is at sea." Otherwise, I would like to win a decisive battle with Shopkeeper Liu, which is a hundred times more interesting than this dice shake. β
The Snow Pig Prince is a fan of insects, and he has also heard the rumor that Zhou Xuan won the championship with a yellow-backed insect in Hongzhou, and Zhou Xuan is also the insect fighter of the Tang State this time. β
Zhou Xuan nodded solemnly and said, "Yes." β
Prince Snow Pig asked strangely, "Where is it?" Can you give the shopkeeper a look? β
Since leaving Jinling, Liu Shousu has walked with Zhou Xuan all the way, and has not seen Zhou Xuan feed crickets, and it is even more impossible to catch crickets after going to sea, so now I hear Zhou Xuan say that he has fierce insects. I was surprised.
But he saw Zhou Xuan spread his hands and said: "The fierce insects under my command are still fostered between heaven and earth, and the insects can be nourished by sunlight, rain and dew, and warm breath in the wild, and they are raised in pots and jars. Absorbing the Heaven and Earth Yuan Qi is much weaker, so I usually catch and fight now. β
The Snow Pig Prince listened interestingly and asked, "So the guest officer of Zhou Da is going to temporarily catch insects to participate in the Five Kingdoms Insect War after I Xingwang Mansion?" β
Zhou Xuan said: "Exactly. β
The Snow Pig Prince laughed: "In the Xingwang Mansion in August and September, it can be said that someone has turned over under every piece of rubble, and the yellowback insects have searched all over it. Where do you go to catch insects? Ha ha. β
Zhou Xuan said: "This-Liu Da shopkeeper doesn't have to worry about it, I have my own way." I thought: "In case you can't catch it, you can still let the fourth child borrow it, didn't the fourth child borrow the lieutenant general-level tiger idiot Xu Chu from a rich man in Fuzhou last year?" Later, I repaid it, I borrowed and repaid, and it was not difficult to borrow again-
At this moment, the floor under his feet suddenly tilted at an angle of more than fifteen degrees, which is rare for a large ship like the Shunji to tilt to such an extent. The eight wooden carved screens all fell down with a "bang", and all kinds of glazed utensils, treasure bottles and jade fell from the case one after another and shattered to the ground.
The high-hanging underground palace lamp swayed from side to side, *** flickered brightly and darkly, and the sound of the waves outside the cabin suddenly became louder, and heavy rain poured in.
The hull tilted left and right. Prince Snow Pig sat there and staggered. Shouted angrily: "Bastard, how do you drive the ship?" Come. Chop me the helmsman! β
A ship supervisor stumbled over and said loudly: "Your Royal Highness the Prince, the big thing is not good, the fleet has encountered the sea god wind!" β
When everyone heard this, they were all shocked, the sea god wind was extremely violent, and the sea area crossed would set off monstrous waves, and the ship would be destroyed and people would die, even if the "Shunji" was a steeple-bottomed ship as long as 30 zhang, it was difficult to resist.
The sea god wind should be a tropical storm, and if it encounters such a storm, it can only be resigned to fate, and if it is a strong tropical storm, it will be even more dead, so Zhou Xuan sat there and did not move, the ship shook violently, and he stood unsteadily.
The Snow Pig Prince didn't care that the shipmaster didn't call him the big treasurer, so he stood up with a swaying on the long table, and asked urgently, "How is this good?" Inner Taishi, Inner Taishiβ"
The fifty-year-old eunuch standing beside the Snow Pig Prince said calmly: "Your Highness doesn't need to panic, Your Highness is the heir of the Jade Emperor, how can the Sea God Wind hurt Your Highness in the slightest?" The heavenly kamikaze is to punish others-
Zhou Xuan frowned, and thought, "Isn't the inner master Gong Chengshu, the most powerful eunuch in the Southern Han Dynasty?" When Gong Chengshu was in Jinling, he did not follow Liu Shousu to meet Tang Emperor Li Yu, since this person came to the Tang Kingdom, why did he hide his head and shrink his tail and refuse to show up? β
Zhou Xuanzheng was thinking like this, but he saw Gong Chengshu, the inner master, pointing at him, and said: "Before the Zhou marriage envoy got on the boat, the wind was calm, and after the Zhou marriage envoy got on the boat, the sea god wind came, which is mysterious, can the Zhou marriage envoy explain it?" β
Zhou Xuanteng stood up, only to feel a "buzz" in his ears, angry blood rushed to the door of his head, he has a relatively mild temperament, rarely angry, this is also the temperament of playing chess to raise the Taishan collapse in front of him and the color remains unchanged, but the dead eunuch in front of him is really pointing out, the current catastrophe, even slandered people, and said angrily: "Could it be that my Zhou Xuan is a catastrophe, and can also bring typhoon Gong Chengshu saw Zhou Xuan's anger and wanted to do it, and immediately protected the crown prince Liu Shousu with another thin and tall eunuch left and right." sneered: "The gods and witches have said first, there can be no women on this ship, and now it is because there are women on the boat that the heavens have sent down a kamikaze to punish you-"
Zhou Xuan didn't have time to pay attention to this nonsense to kill the eunuch, and ordered the ship supervisor who came to report the news: "This is close to Zhoushan - close to the islands in the middle of the sea, only get the ship close to the island shore before the center of the Poseidon storm arrives, so as to avoid ruining people, go, go!" β
The ship supervisor had many years of sailing experience, and he came to report that Liu Shousu wanted to do this. At this time, after listening to what Zhou Xuan said, he knew that he could not delay, so he went quickly.
Zhou Xuan shouted to the back of the ship's supervisor: "Use the sea lantern to signal and let the princess ship also turn the rudder to the north." β
The ship's warden answered, and exited the hatch.
Gong Chengshu sneered: "Zhou Marriage is so magnificent, you can even instruct my Han people to be driven by youββ"
"Shut up!" Zhou Xuan shouted, full of energy, and suddenly suppressed the voice of the eunuch with a strange yin and yang spirit: "If you don't want to die, be honest, in front of the sea god wind, you can only get through the difficulties by working together, you will pretend to be a ghost." If you let the wind stop, I'll obey you. β
Gong Chengshu was so angry that his body trembled, he has always been used to being powerful and blessed, and he is only afraid of two people in his life, one is Liu Jixing, the lord of the Han Dynasty. The other is the Falcon Gate Master, who was confronted by Zhou Xuan so face-to-face at this time, according to his temperament, he immediately wanted to do it, and cut Zhou Xuan into meat sauce to eliminate the hatred in his heart, but he was ordered by the Falcon Gate Master to do so. Tracking down the disappearance of seven people including Black Harrier and Lin Ning for no reason, he expected that this matter was related to Zhou Xuan, and just after rolling the dice, he saw that the little thin man behind Zhou Xuan was very powerful, so he deliberately made it difficult to test Zhou Xuan's reaction.
The first strong wind had passed, and the ship was not as shaky as it had been, and the Snow Pig Prince sat down again. asked Gong Chengshu: "Inner Master, there are no women on this ship, who will God punish?" β
Gong Chengshu said: "There were no women on the ship before, but after the Zhou marriage envoy got on the ship, there were women. β
Zhou Xuan's heart moved, and he laughed: "Shopkeeper Liu, take a look." Am I a woman? β
The Snow Pig Prince hadn't spoken yet. Gong Chengshu spoke first: "The Zhou marriage envoy should not be a woman, but one of the four people behind the Zhou marriage envoy must be a woman." β
The people in the cabin looked at the four people standing behind Zhou Xuan. Four idiots, Lin Ji and Zhou Xuandi's two personal soldiers, Lin Ji is tall and strong, full of beard, it is really unreasonable to say that he is a woman, Zhou Xuan's two personal soldiers are also five big and three thick, with big shoulders and round waists, no one believes them when they say that they are women, only the thin man who Zhou claims to be the "fourth" seems to be a woman.
Seeing that everyone was paying attention to him, the four idiots said coldly: "Look at what, look at your dog's eyes again!" β
Zhou Xuan stood up, looked at the four idiots, and then at the Snow Pig Prince, and said with a smile: "Do you suspect that my subordinate is a woman?" Haha, ridiculous, I still don't know if Mr. Fourth is a man or a woman? We have been in a car in a car, sheltered from the rain under a canopy, usually bowed, played chess, and were together day and night, how could he be a woman! As he spoke, he patted the four idiots on the shoulders affectionately, looking like an old man, but quietly scribbled on the shoulders of the four idiots with one hand.
Prince Snow Pig's eyes lit up and asked, "Zhou Marriage Envoy - no, no, Zhou Da's guest officer is also a good man?" β
"What do you mean by being a good man?" Zhou Xuanxin said: "It turns out that I said to Princess Qingle that this pig's head is a good man, and I really didn't say it wrong!" Shaking his head, he said, "I have to be a woman." β
Gong Chengshu said: "You are a woman, the personal guard is naturally also a woman, unless he unbuttons his robe and asks me to wait and seeββ"
"Fart you!" The four idiots were furious, if it weren't for Zhou Xuan signaling him to calm down, he would have rushed up to do it.
Zhou Xuan said: "Although my subordinates and I are masters and servants, they are like close friends, not those lowly eunuchs, how can they be humiliated at will!" β
The eunuch is scolding the eunuch, Zhou Xuan's words are very offended, the eunuchs on the "Shunji Treasure Boat" are not to mention that there are two or three hundred, Gong Chengshu is even more angry and his face is blue, and his halberd finger shouted angrily: "The sea god wind descends from the sky, just because there is a woman on the ship, if you don't throw this woman into the sea, the ship will be subverted, and we all have to die!" β
Zhou Xuan said: "If you die, you will die, what's the matter, as long as the heir of the Jade Emperor, Liu Da, is safe and sound, right, Liu Da shopkeeper?" β
Prince Snow Pig was about to nod, thinking about it, he shook his head and said, "No, this boat has capsized, and the shopkeeper is afraid that he will also whineββ"
Zhou Xuan said: "No, absolutely not, the ship capsizes, the Jade Emperor will send heavenly soldiers and heavenly generals to drive colorful auspicious clouds to pick up Shopkeeper Liu to go to the Heavenly Palace to go to Xianfu Yongxiang, so Shopkeeper Liu doesn't have to worry at all, just watch the excitement, what should be worried is that we ordinary people have to struggle for our lives-"
"Your Highness, don't listen to Zhou Xuan's nonsenseβ"
"What is a bunch of nonsense, isn't Shopkeeper Liu the heir of the Jade Emperor? Do you think Shopkeeper Liu will be drowned like you? You, a dead eunuch, are guilty of confusing the public and slandering the East Palace here? β
In terms of eloquence, how can Gong Chengshu compare to Zhou Xuan, Zhou Xuan also understands the Southern Han Dynasty worship gods and believe in witches and ghosts, Gong Chengshu coaxes others to set one by one, and now Zhou Xuan attacks his shield with his spear, which makes him angry and angry, and screams: "Although His Highness will not die, but more than 500 other people on the ship will die, do you want us to bury a boatload of people because of this woman?" All the armor soldiers, take down the five of Zhou Xuanβ"
"Wait!" Zhou Xuan said loudly: "There is indeed a woman on the ground on this boat-" Speaking of this, he paused for a moment, and pointed his hand at Gong Chengshu: "You are a woman, listen to yourself, doesn't your voice look like a vicious old woman screaming?" As long as I throw you into the sea to worship the gods, the wind and waves will stop - Shopkeeper Liu, do you dare to bet with me? β
"Bet on what?" As soon as the Snow Pig Prince heard about the bet, he was full of energy.
Zhou Xuan said: "I bet to throw this old woman into the sea, and the wind and waves will stop immediatelyββ"
"If the storm continues, what are you betting?" The Snow Pig Prince hurriedly asked, this kind of gambling method is very fresh, and he likes it.
Zhou Xuan said: "If the wind and waves don't stop, throw me into the sea, how about it?" β
"Interesting, interesting!" The Snow Pig Prince was moved.
Gong Chengshu jumped like thunder and screamed: "Jiashi, take down Zhou Xuan's five people, if you dare to resist, you will be killed." β
Zhou Xuan just wanted to provoke Gong Chengshu's anger, slapped the table, and yelled: "Do it!" β
The four idiots were like a spring under their feet, and they popped out in response, the knife was already in their hands, and they followed the meaning of Zhou Xuan's words on his back, and went straight to Gong Chengshu.