Liu Xingmei put her hand into Tao Zhenkun's pocket, took out a cigarette pouch and cigarette paper, poured shredded cigarettes on the torn paper, pulled it evenly with her fingers, and then skillfully rolled a cigarette and used saliva to partially paste the cigarette holder. She took the cigarette in her mouth, then took the fine lighter out of her pocket, lit it and took two puffs, only to choke and cough twice.

‭陶振坤这才回头来看她,眼里却没有惊讶。

‭柳杏梅把烟放到了他的嘴里。

‭陶振坤就近乎贪婪地猛吸了几口,喷云吐雾地说:“你不是不喜欢我抽烟吗?”

‭“我还管着你了,你当我是不知道呢，你就是不当着我面抽,背地里也是偷着抽的!”

‭是啊,他在娘死后开始学着抽烟了,而且还上了瘾。

‭“你说烟酒这两样东西真的能消愁解闷吗?”

‭“这只不过是心理作用罢了!”

‭也许柳杏梅说的是对的。 Now in the face of the pressure of life, she found that her man also had the problem of long and stiff sighs. Knowing how to worry and be anxious can also indicate that a man is beginning to mature.

‭陶振坤看着这片几代人耕种的土地,眉毛拧成了疙瘩,他的家园让他眷恋而又莫名其妙产生几分憎恶,因为这里像是牢笼一样在囚禁着他这“只”向往蓝天自由翱翔的雄鹰,是父母的逝去和负债让他深感厌倦了!

‭这辈子就这么在煎熬里度日下去了吗?

‭这是他几日来一直在心里所想的问题。

‭心里所酝酿的想法还没有得到分开解决,还处在犹豫徬徨状态下的他,抛下了手里的烟蒂,忿然地拾起地上的夹板,再次搭在了肩膀上。 The only land here, although he can barely fill his belly, but he can't get the ideal hope, can he be willing to spend his life in such a mediocre and inaction?!

‭外面的世界究竟有多大? He wanted to go out and measure it himself with his own footsteps, and no longer be a frog at the bottom of the well.

‭“要下雨了,我们还是趁早回去吧,小心被浇着?”

‭陶振坤对柳杏梅的话像是充耳目未闻,拉开了拉犁的架式。

‭无奈之下的柳杏梅只好抹头去扶犁杖,如今她只能对变得倔强任性的丈夫以纵容的方式宠惯着,尽量做到夫唱妇随,这样对一个精神脆弱的人或许才会得以安慰。

‭这时仿佛被云朵聚集形成的这把遮天蔽日的巨伞收起了暖融融的灿烂阳光,其明媚一下子变得黯淡了下来,风儿吹拂起了这两个人的猎猎舞动的衣衫,丝丝寒意侵袭而来。 Sure enough, raindrops fell in the air, hitting my body and feeling its coolness.

‭也许,这是陶振坤采取自虐的方法来惩罚着自己的无能!

‭没走出几步,就听柳杏梅说:“荷姐和旺旺来了。”

‭陶振坤的心一震,扭头去看,就见吴荷和旺旺站在不远处的一个小山坡上面,另外还有一头灰色草驴。

‭旺旺牵着那驴朝这边走了过来,吴荷在手里撑起了一把油纸伞。

‭看着吴荷,竟然会让陶振坤的心里涌起一股委屈的酸楚,吴荷是他的情人,更像是他的姐姐。 Sometimes, he didn't want to say what he wanted to say to Liu Xingmei, but he was willing to say it to Wu He, it was a kind of confiding, and that was because he felt that Wu He could understand himself better than Liu Xingmei.

‭柳杏梅在旺旺手里接过了缰绳,驴的脖子上戴着套包子,身上搭着夹板子。

‭在旺旺稚嫩的瞳孔里流露出的竟然是困惑的怅惘,他一句话也没说,转身跑了回去。 He returned to his mother's side and stood under the umbrella, as if a chick was hiding under his mother's wings.

‭看着母子俩,让陶振坤突然感到,这母子俩的将来,对他来讲也要负担起一种责任!

‭在柳杏梅的眼里看去,依然是风姿绰约的吴荷,仍具备着和自己争宠的女人姿色和魅力。 She always felt that the relationship between her sister-in-law and brother-in-law was not ordinary, but what she had always doubted was: Can a beautiful woman, even if she is a widow, fall in love with a man who is not good-looking? And Miao Yunchang in the hearing is so handsome and chic. Also, Tao Zhenkun and Miao Yunchang are also teachers and friends, how could two people do something immoral? However, the love between men and women has always been inexplicable. She didn't hold any tricks, and naturally she was embarrassed to be jealous of the wind and jealousy, and even chased the wind and shadows to play some incidents, which was not a wise move, and it was tantamount to self-inflicted humiliation! Although her heart was uncomfortable, she had to endure it. Wu He is a person she likes, can she be a woman who doesn't know self-respect? So she was willing to reject the possibility of existence with disbelief, and what would she do if it did? This is something she can't imagine!

‭吴荷拉起了儿子的手默默地转身离去了。

‭柳杏梅牵着驴来到五步远的陶振坤面前。

‭看着这头驴,陶振坤便想到了自己家的那头。 He slowly crouched down, his hands on his aching head, tears dripping down the earth like beads of sweat and raindrops, and soaked into the soil, and he murmured bitterly, "The days will never go by like this again!"

"What do you say? 不这么过怎么过‭？ Liu Xingmei didn't seem to understand his words, or she was surprised by what he said.

“我要改变这命运‭！”

愣愣中的柳杏梅以叹息地口吻说:“生活给我们画了个圈儿，我们也只好在这圈子里转了‭！”

“不,我要挣脱这圈子‭。”

“怎么挣脱‭？”

“请给我翅膀，我要飞翔‭！”

‭柳杏梅或许会觉得他的话有点儿可笑。

Poor couples mourn!

霡霂的春雨仍在淅淅沥沥不紧不慢地下着,给人的心里便带来了几分焦虑情怀和枯燥味道‭。

‭春雨贵如油,大地在滋润中可复苏万物,人们盼春归,远离严寒。 Spring rain like this sprinkled on the earth, which means that the vitality of the purple and red is about to appear in front of people, which should be a joyful thing, but the work is just in time for this rainy day. And this rain seems to be sprinkled on the hearts of the husband and wife with lingering melancholy and sorrow, which is naturally related to this stretched day!

‭回到了家里,陶振坤就拿出了那个记录着一笔笔清楚的欠别人的账本,有这个账本的存在,会时刻在提醒他肩负的重担,想要放下以目前的状况来看,那简直是种遥遥无期的等待。

“欠了别人的钱你后悔吗‭？”

陶振坤听柳杏梅问,先是愣了下,然后说说：‭“‬这又不是我吃喝嫖赌欠下的，是为了给爹娘治病，理所当然的事。 娘的病基本上也没算花啥钱,这些欠的饥荒里面还有我们结婚了时的呢,我能有啥后悔不后悔的‭。 ”

“我也是这么想，这饥荒拉得不丢人‭。”

“梅子，我想跟你商量个事‭？”

“啥事，说吧‭！”

"I want to go out to work and make money to pay off this famine, otherwise I won't have a solid time all day! We don't have any income all year round, and we can't expect to be able to sell it for money, and hunting is not a long-term solution, and killing is also a matter of harm. 要是这样下去，没个生财之道，欠别人的得等猴年马月能还上，拖下去终究不是个事，就是人家不要，可谁家没有不用钱的时候，要是等别人张口要了，到时做别子更为难了，别小肚鸡肠的，借时欢喜要时恼，那事咱们干不出来，你说是吧‭？ ”

"Who's to say it isn't! You don't have any relatives to borrow from, and my mother's family is also poor, so I can't help anything. 照这样下去，别说是猴年马月了，就是驴长犄角牛打滚，恐怕是也还不上这钱的‭！ It turns out that when I was in my mother's house, my father and my mother said that your family's life was better than mine, but I didn't expect to marry a poor bastard! This life is really a family that doesn't know a family, and every family has a scripture that is difficult to read. ”

‭“你后悔了吧?”

‭“你们根本就没给我后悔的机会,我一直不愿意可你们简直是把我给抢来的!”

‭“我也没想到会成了这样,要是早知道,说啥也不能耽误了你的幸福,以前我还以为我们家是好日子呢!”

"In this life, I have accepted my fate, since I am married to you, I want to live with you wholeheartedly. Although the current days are poorer, maybe one day they will also get rich, thirty years in Hedong, thirty years in Hexi, feng shui in turns, don't look at the next moment. 不过,任何时候都是,指亲不富，指嘴不饱，指着破鞋扎脚,到啥时候还得说是自己的耙子上柴火,哥有了嫂子穿大红鞋,是轮不到别人的‭！ We don't have children now, and if we have them in the future, do we have to think about them?!"

‭“谁说不是呢!”

“你这么想是对的‭。”

“那你是同意了‭？”

Liu Xingmei hesitated for a long time before saying, "What's the way if you don't agree?" 又没啥家底可折腾的，就是有张虎皮你又不肯卖，再说卖掉能值几个钱儿，还是不够还别人的‭！ ”

“那‭——那是爹娘留给我的唯一念想,也是祖辈的东西,就是穷死也不能卖的。 这么说,‬那‭——‬你舍得我出去吗？ 或许要三年五载的才能回来‭！ ”

Liu Xingmei sighed: "In the current situation of our family, what if we are reluctant? 也不行啊‭！ ”

‭“这也是没办法的事!” Tao Zhenkun was so salty that he was torn for a while, and it was the dilemma of debt and the absence of his parents that pushed him to the point of leaving home to find a job.

‭“想到爷爷出外打工至今也没有回来,我这心里就有些害怕,你这一去要是——”

‭“你男人我有一身的好功夫,你就不用害怕。 Not to mention, if Grandpa was still alive, maybe we would have met again, but I've never seen what he looked like, and I didn't even know him when we met!"

‭“那你就见到是老头的就问你是陶愿景吗?”

‭“那样别人不会认为我是在打听人的,会以为我的脑子有毛病呢。 ”

‭柳杏梅笑了。

So, Tao Zhenkun discussed with Liu Xingmei and wanted to go out to work, so that if he earned money, he would not only be able to pay off his debts, but also fill his family. After several exhaustive considerations, he finally came to a conclusion about life: in this life, only money and power can glorify their ancestors, get ahead, and stand tall in front of everyone. 只要是能在外面挣到钱回来，虽不算衣锦还乡，但也可扬眉吐气，要用实际行动来证明自己，要在村民面前改变自己的形象，一洗所遭受的耻辱‭。

After Liu Xingmei heard this, in the face of a beautiful vision, she would have agreed, it is rare for her husband to have such lofty ideals, otherwise how could this debt-indebted family still have a time to turn over. 家里的几亩田地，春种秋收，有她一人也能伺弄得了‭。