(a)

I buried my head in a pile of open envelopes, looking at the letters. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

"What are you looking at?" Kaohsiung asked, "What is this letter, I've been reading it for so long?" ”

I said, "This is the last time you used your charity funds, and I want to help you see if they are using them properly." ”

Kaohsiung looked sneering and said, "What's there to see about this kind of thing." ”

He took the report out of my hand and threw it into the trash can in the room.

I was surprised and said, "Don't you want to know where this money is going?" ”

Kaohsiung said: "After you urinate, will you be interested in knowing where they go?" Do you keep crawling on the toilet and keeping track of its flow in the sewers and manure tanks? ”

I bit my lip. I said, "It's vulgar." ”

Kaohsiung said: "My words are not rough. ”

He said, "Let me teach you what charity is." Charity is not about you giving money to help others. Charity is actually someone helping you by accepting your money. ”

"Help you get used to leaving your money at any time, letting go of it in your heart at any time, just like excluding urine, leaving it without any attachment and pain. If you're donating money and you're still worrying about where it's going and what it's going to be used for, you're not really donating it. ”

Kaohsiung said: "Generally speaking, even when people are doing charity, their hearts are constantly pressing the calculator: I gave you help, why are you so ignorant, thank you and don't say it?" How can I gamble with the money I earned so hard to donate to you? Take it for a drink? ”

Although his words are a little ugly, these words are quite reasonable, and no one has ever told me about "charity" from this perspective before.

Kaohsiung said: "If you calculate like this in your heart, it means that if you give something to others, you must also take something back from others, for example, take back their respect, obedience, gratitude or whatever." ”

"It's a deal, not charity," Kaohsiung said. ”

I said, "So, what does true charity feel like in your mind?" ”

Kaohsiung said: "For example, if you have some things at home that you don't need, and there is no place to put them in the warehouse, and then you ask someone else to help you deal with these things, and after someone else takes them away, your home has a new look, and you should be full of gratitude to the person who is willing to accept your things." You are very grateful to him! Do you still need him to say thank you to you? It's too late for you to thank him! ”

"That's the normal mindset of charity," he said. ”

(b)

Kaohsiung's words touched me very much, and made me deeply reflect on what kind of mentality I had in the past to participate in public welfare projects.

Am I arrogant and condescending to do the public good?

Do I feel complacent about doing a little good for myself?

Am I angry that someone has failed my kindness, or that I am indifferent or even vicious to my passion?

Am I exchanging public welfare for recognition, respect and praise from others, as Kaohsiung said?

Am I making a trade?

Although he touched me and triggered me to think about the philanthropic mentality, after all, I have been used to this kind of charity mentality for too long, and I have not been able to translate it well into what he calls a "normal mentality".

Kaohsiung understood this, so he decided to give me more touches to revise my concept of charity.

(c)

Once, when Kaohsiung and I met, it happened that his birthday was just a few days away. To thank him for all the help he has given us over the years, I carefully purchased a shirt for him as a birthday gift.

I carried my shopping bag and delivered the shirt to his hotel room. The shirt was very expensive, and I would never have spent so much money on a shirt for my own sake.

Kaohsiung unwrapped the shirt in the hotel, he tore open the delicate packaging, looked at the shirt brand, just when I thought he was going to say thank you to me, he didn't think about it, he casually picked up a thick black signature pen in the stationery box on the hotel desk, and wrote a sentence in English in scribble on the chest of the snow-white shirt: "To hell with everything." ”

Then he crumpled the shirt, wiped his hands, and threw it into the paper basket.

I looked at him dumbfounded! I was amazed and a little angry!

I couldn't help but say, "Brother Kaohsiung, have you drunk too much?" ”

He opened his mouth and moved closer to me, letting me breathe in his breath. He grinned, shook his white teeth, and said, "Smell it yourself?" ”

I frowned, holding back the unhappiness in my heart, I took a step back, and said dissatisfiedly, "Why are you crazy without drinking?" ”

I said, "If you don't want my gift, or don't like it, you just say it, and you don't have to spoil things like this!" ”

Kaohsiung said: "Do you think I'm spoiling it? No! I'm giving you a gift in return. ”

He said, "I've told you all the most valuable secrets of success in my life." ”

He said, "Now I ask you, you gave me this shirt, right?" ”

I nodded.

He said, "So, it's mine?" Do you agree? I should have absolute control over it, right? ”

I was speechless, so I reluctantly nodded.

He said, "If I'm willing to make it like that, that's fine, right?" ”

I continued to be speechless, and I looked at the ground.

I said, "It's not right to spoil things." You can return it to me. I can also return it to the store. ”

He said, "Heart, lift up your eyes." Don't lie to yourself. ”

He said, "You didn't give me this gift. It's still yours. ”

"As long as you care how I use it, it's still yours," he said. You didn't give it away. ”

He said, "Actually, you didn't give me a gift, you wanted me to give myself to you." Give you the shirt I gave myself and my thanks to you. ”

A wave of anger welled up in my heart. However, I held back and didn't say anything.

He said, "Don't deny this. I have no ill will. I just wanted to tell you that if you're always like that, you can't be the most profitable person. You're going to be wiped out in the mall. ”

He said, "I tell you, if you are always so concerned about the things that go out and the money that goes out, then neither the things nor the money will come to you." Because money also likes freedom. Everything loves freedom. It's not just humans. If you want to possess, you won't get. ”

"That's the secret to making a lot of money," he said. A secret I've never told anyone. The secret that is not passed on. ”

He said, "And I just told you." Because, I can't always act according to what I understand. ”

"I also want to have something sometimes," he said. For example......

I raised my eyes and looked at him warily.

"Don't be nervous," he said. I'm not saying, owning you, but having your normal mindset. ”

(iv)

Compared with the previous incident, the shirt incident left a deeper impression on me, touched me, and was more thorough.

My dear, this is your good friend, the person you entrusted to take care of me behind me. A man who has been misunderstood countless times in his life and has never had a good death.

Kaohsiung is a complex person, but a very good person.

Later, when I read Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche's book "Right Views" and read his discourse on generosity, I was surprised to find that Kaohsiung's expression was almost exactly the same as that of Dzongsar.

Kaohsiung's voice of the day began to echo in my ears again.

I realized my mistake. At that time, I only remembered his attitude, his unacceptable methods, I was busy comparing his directness to your gentleness, I was busy indulging in the nostalgia for you, I was busy neglecting this bear-like man next to me, I was busy proving that he was not you, that you were no longer available, that you could never be resurrected, that there would never be the same, that I didn't really listen to him, and I didn't really get the gift he wanted to give me.

Not only am I attached to my own things, but even I am attached to what you and Kaohsiung once had.

Before, I knew that you and Kaohsiung were good friends, but I didn't quite understand, why you have such a big difference in personality, but you can quickly become inseparable friends? Why is this friendship so deep that Kaohsiung has never forgotten your request, even though I have always stubbornly rejected him.

It's only now that I kind of get it.

You're bound to become friends.

Because you all understand equally well what it means to give up.

(5)

May I be as determined and courageous as you have shown.

In order to bear all the sufferings of the world, throw away all the troubles, throw away all the cares, give up everything in body and mind.