(a)

"Heart. There is something www.biquge.info Pen Fun Pavilion that I have to talk to you about. ”

I'm standing in the guidance office, looking at you.

You hesitate for a moment, then say, "I'm sorry, Xinxin." I have to go. ”

You say, "In about 40 days, I'm going to leave here and go home in the next month at the latest." ”

You said. "In another 10 days or so, your new director will complete the transfer procedures, and then he will come to report and hand over to me, plus moving or something, it is estimated that there will be 20 days left, and you will be able to see him. Since I went back today, I have been on sick leave and can't come to work. I, we, can no longer meet at school, nor can we meet again at the shooting range. If you want to meet, you can only go to me. ”

Although this was to be expected, my heart sank to hear you say to me so solemnly.

We're about to say goodbye forever.

I muttered, "Really? ”

You say, "Heart, I can't not go home until the last moment." I am the only son of my parents, and I can't let them not see me for the last time. I have been away from home for so many years, and my father has never been by his side when he is sick. Now, my father knows that I am sick too. I didn't know that I was terminally ill and had few days to come, but he had forgiven me. Mom worked so hard to run on both sides and take care of two patients. I can help her more or less when I go back to recuperate and still move. ”

I nodded silently.

I said, "How do you go back?" ”

You say, "Mr. Chai helped me buy a train ticket, and the specific date has not yet been determined, let's see if I can buy a soft sleeper ticket smoothly." ”

I said, "Are you going alone?" ”

You say, "Lao Wang and Teacher Chai both said they would send me back." But I don't think I need to bother them so much, I can still walk on my own now, and there should be no problem sitting on a soft sleeper. It's only 20 hours. It's okay to get me in the car here, and I don't have much luggage to carry, and there are some big things that can be checked in later. ”

I said, "You're gone, will you come back?" ”

You say: "If you get better, of course you will come back to work, and the shooting team turned out to be two assistants." Principal Cheng promised me. If I have a chance to come back. If my father's health improves. ”

I just desperately expressed my inner inability and helplessness.

I know that the hope of coming back after you have gone is so slim.

(b)

I look at you with tears in my eyes.

I said, "This time, can we meet again?" ”

You are silent.

You say, "Wouldn't it be nice not to have to witness the pain of that last moment?" ”

You say, "I promised you that I wouldn't push you away again." But, I really can't bear to let you witness something like that again. ”

I droop my eyelids and can't look at you.

You say, "Xinxin, actually, since I slapped you in Xiyuan, I have realized very clearly that I am in love with you." I've thought so many times that I should leave you. I've always known that I had too much influence on you. You need the space to grow independently. Then you will truly understand and have your own power. ”

You say, "I should have done it a long time ago, but I never had the strength to do it." Now, there's no room for maneuver. ”

You say, "Xinxin, you're still very young." Don't tie fate to me. You are free. ”

I said, "Where is the bondage?" We are inherently one. ”

(c)

I said, "So, when you go back, will you write to me?" ”

You are silent. You say, "Maybe not." ”

You say, "When you see my letter, you will feel more pain." Moreover, when I go back, I may not be able to write letters. If I promise you, you will feel like you are burning without a letter at that time. It's better to say it now, so as not to look forward to it. ”

You say, "Perhaps, you need to stay alone and think about other possibilities for your future life." People are constantly growing and changing. Sometimes you don't even know yourself. You should seriously think about it, there is another future without me. I hope you have such an independent, serious consideration. ”

You say, "There is rarely only one choice in life. You have to see other possibilities. Don't let me block the possibility of you seeing anything else. ”

You say, "You know exactly what I'm trying to say, huh?" ”

With tears in my eyes, I said, "Yes." I understand all you have to say. ”

I said, "Whatever you decide, whatever happens later, if you are safe, please let me know." Through Wang's guidance, through Sister Wenli, through Teacher Chai, through Brother Kaohsiung, through anyone you are willing to contact. ”

I said, "If you are not at peace, please let me know." ”

You say, "Okay." When I get home, I will keep in touch with Lao Wang. ”

(iv)

I said, "Today, let's say goodbye, right?" ”

You say, "Yes." I'm sorry, heart, I can't do both. ”

My tears blurred everything. I couldn't speak for a long time.

You are waiting for me. You called me softly.

I said, "Now, my heart is so sad." It's like dying. ”

My words pierced you at once.

You suddenly turn away.

You have your back to me.

I can't see your face.

We just stood in silence for a while.

In the end, it was you who broke the silence.

You turn around, and you say, "Heart, you have to live well." ”

I said, "Be safe and sound." ”

(5)

I said, "What if you and your uncle are healed after that?" ”

You say, "If that's the case, if I come back, you'll not be here after graduation." Right? ”

I said, "Will you come to me again?" ”

You say, "In that case, when you're an adult, when you've thought through the possibilities, if you've already made up your mind at that time, you can come back here to me." I'll always be here, waiting for you to come. ”

You say, "I will always be waiting for you, for the rest of my life, always waiting for you." In this life, I will never break my word again. ”

I said, "You'll wait until I come to you." One day, there will be a woman who you are familiar with, but a little strange, will appear next to you, she will come to you, she will say to you: I am back. ”

Say, "Then I will say to her, 'You have returned.'" We meet again. ”

You say, "I'll say to her, come here." Come into my life and spend this life with me. ”

My tears welled up again.

You grab my hand. You hold them tightly.

In my tears, I said, "Wait for me." ”

You say, "Okay." ”

I said, "You have to live." ”

You say, "Be strong." ”

In this volatile world, who knows when people's destinies will meet and when they will separate.

Who knows how long we can walk together.

(f)

I asked, "Is there anything else I can do to help before I go?" ”

You say, "Yes." ”

You say, "When I'm gone, you won't be able to use the safe in your office, and you won't be able to leave those books in my house." ”

You say, "I've got to find another place to put these things." I found a place that fits well. I rented a safe deposit box for you in the basement of the bank. But in order to make it easier for you to pick up, you must use your name to go through the rental procedures. I can't run, you and Kaohsiung go through the formalities together. He'll help you get all the books over there. You don't have to return the key to the safe, just give it to Kaohsiung, he will help you go through various procedures after moving your things, and will return the key to Director Wang. ”

I said, "Okay." ”

Even in moments like these, you are so thoughtful for me.

A few days later, I went to the basement of the bank you mentioned with Kaohsiung and went through the rental procedures. When Kaohsiung wants to pay, you find that you have already paid. You pay rent for 10 years. Kaohsiung silently accepted the payment voucher for you. We put our stuff together in the safe.

As I was about to lock the box, I said, "Wait. “

I took out a paper bag from my bag and put it in the safe.

The paper bag contains the tumbler you gave me, the draft of the review book you wrote for me in Xiyuan, the bullet casing that once danced on the barrel of my gun, the technical training record you wrote for me, the key points of counseling, and so on.

Kaohsiung looked at the paper bag and said, "Can you lock it?" “

I said, "Okay." “

He handed me the strangely shaped key.

I twisted the key and heard a slight snap in the lock.

The youth of my life, the best days, was deeply sealed in this way.

10 years have passed. No one but me knows or remembers this safe anymore.

I silently went to the bank to renew the fee for another 10 years.

The keys are still in my hands. When I miss you so much, I will go alone to look at the contents of the box, looking at the traces left by you in the past, in the depths of the years, shimmering with a gentle luster.

Time flies like water. My dear you, I'm living well, and you? Where are you on a plane? You okay? Are you safe?