(a)

That night when we were eating ravioli together at a small shop by the railroad, I told you the reason why I offered to come to the shooting team, and I said that it felt as if someone was waiting for me there, as if I had an innate date there. Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

When you hear that, your heart almost stops beating.

You almost didn't control yourself.

When you get back on the bike, your hand holding the faucet keeps shaking in the dark.

When I came home that day, you were still downstairs in my house, alone for a long time.

You watched the lights go out in my house before you went back alone.

On the way back, you've been thinking about this: there are two people in such a small shooting team, waiting for someone to invite you.

You calculate the odds that they might be the right person to wait for.

You are calculating such probabilities while riding absentmindedly.

You're riding a bike while you're constantly denying yourself.

You say to yourself, "No, it can't be a little girl. ”

You say to yourself, "I can be her uncle." I've never seen her in the mirror. She didn't look like the woman in the mirror at all. ”

You say to yourself, "If I told her that I was also here for a date, what would she think of me?" Will she believe me? Does she think I'm scared because of bad intentions? If I approach her, will she avoid me and run away from me? ”

You say to yourself, "What if the person I'm waiting for isn't her, and if I'm waiting for the right person after her?" What if the person I'm waiting for is her, and she's scared and runs away? ”

You're thinking about these things all the way, and you're almost crushed by a truck.

A screeching brake rang out. The driver pokes his head out of the cab and yells at you, "Hey, boy, what are you thinking?" Broken love? Don't see the car? You don't want to die! ”

You wake up and apologize to the driver. After the driver angrily drives away, you realize that you have already ridden the road back to your accommodation.

(b)

Later, the incident of the Heishui River happened at the base of Xiyuan.

When I woke up from a nightmare and threw myself into your arms, clutching on the hem of your clothes, you felt like the Earth had been hit by a rain of asteroids.

You feel like all the blood vessels in your body are bursting in an instant, sadness gushing out of every pore, and black blood soaking through your coat.

You hugged me tightly. How you want to come into my life, into my nightmares, to bring me out of that loneliness, that pain, that fear.

You say, "That night, through the fence of the hospital, I saw a shadow in the distance climbing down the drain on the second floor. I watched as the shadow fell on the grass. I saw the shadow running swiftly towards the fence. All of a sudden, my blood was boiling. All of a sudden, they started burning in all the veins. There was a buzzing in my head. Before I could see your face, my whole body was suddenly piping hot. ”

"She wants to be back there! Can't let her go back! Can't let her go back anyway! Can't let her go there again anyway! ”

You say, "That's what filled my heart the moment I saw your face." I felt an extremely strong urge to stop you from going there again. ”

You look at me. You say, "Absolutely not, let you, see any more." ”

Later, on the lawn of the hospital, you knew from my intermittent crying that I had seen the person I wanted to see. You are disappointed and saddened to find out that that person is not you.

I bit you hard just to see that guy.

When I bite you, your heart tightens for a while.

You feel sorry that you hit me for not knowing why you lost control. You are also sorry for me to bite you like this. You feel sorry for each other and not for each other.

You said, "When you returned to the bed in the ward, when you fell asleep again under the effect of the medicine, I explained to Teacher Xiao Chen, who was taking care of you. I'll put the food I brought you on the bedside table next to you. I look at the tears on your eyelashes. I walked out of the hospital. ”

"I'm riding in the moonlight. The road ahead shone like mercury. I don't know where I rode to. I also don't know how fast I can ride. I just felt that the mercury-like road, endlessly long, as if it stretched all the way to the end of the universe. ”

"There was a stream ahead. There is no road to go again. I heard the sound of the brakes. I found myself riding far, far away. In front of the right-hand side, a magnificent dam stands in the darkness of the night. At the top of the dam is a road bridge. The bridge spanned the water brilliantly. From there, there was the sound of a car moving. I straddled the bike, and I stood in the night breeze by the stream. ”

"I let go of the handlebars. That's when I realized how hard I had been holding on to them. All the patterns on the handlebars are now printed in the palm of my hand. I looked down at the patterns in my palms. Until they disappear in the palm of your hand. ”

"That night, I stayed by the stream all night. Looking at the street lights above the dam, from far to near, one by one went out. The sky brightens white. A new day begins. ”

"Who the hell am I? Why here? Who the hell is she? What is the reason for all this? You ask yourself.

(c)

After that, you'll see me frantically looking for you in the past time.

You see in me the exact same pain that you seek out for yourself.

You see that I, like you, have abandoned my future, my image, my comfortable life, and concentrated on finding the truth.

You look at me like you're looking at yourself in a mirror.

You look at me and think, if the person she's looking for is in the book, then where is the person I'm looking for?

As you watch me get lost in the book, you feel like you're lost in the vacuum of losing your object.

At that time, you feel as if you are standing at a traffic intersection, surrounded by roads that lead to various directions, but you feel that none of them belong to you.

You feel like you're trapped.

You feel that life is pale and empty, and that everything is meaningless.

(iv)

That day, when you had said all this, you said to me, "Now, I've told you everything." If you still want me to leave, I will go and tell Director Wang tomorrow that I have packed up my things and can leave before dark. After I leave, I will never come back, and you will never meet me again. ”

I shook my head and I said, "No! ”

You close your eyes.

You say, "Do you still want me to stay?" ”

I nodded. I said, "Yes!" ”

We are silent.

After a while, I said, "Guide, we used to know each other, right?" I mean, before we came to the shooting team, before we were born. ”

You say, "The scene I dream about the most is riding in a carriage with her." It was a cold day, and the cold wind kept blowing in from the carriage. She wore a fur skirt with a high neck, and she reached for her hand to close the curtains. She spoke to me. She asked me questions and repeatedly asked me to answer her. I seemed to say that I owed her something, and I said that I would pay it back to her later. But, I knew in my heart that it would be a long time later. She said you'd forget it then. You'll break your promise in the future. I said no, not again. She said, "Are you going to come to me?" I said it would come. She said, no matter who you are, no matter your age, no matter what happens, will you come to see me? I said, yes, I'll come. ”

You say, "Every time I dream about it, I wake up." Her expectant eyes vanished like mist. My heart was filled with guilt and sadness. But I couldn't remember what I owed her. ”

I'm looking at you.

You stopped and looked at me. You say, "Heart? ”

I said, "It's a kiss." As I spoke, tears filled my eyes.

I look at you with teary eyes and say, "You owe her a kiss." You should have given her this kiss on a hill with a view of the city walls, but you don't know why and give up. You promised to give her back in the next life. You said that you won't let her wait for the rest of her life. ”

You look at me. There is a sparkle of tears in your eyes.

You turn your head away. You look at the branches swaying in the evening breeze.

You say, "I haven't forgotten to come and give it back to her." ”

I said, "Then she said to you, 'You must come.'" It doesn't matter where I will be then. ”

You say, "At that time, I said to her, I will come." It doesn't matter where you are. ”

I said, "Even if one side is sick." ”

You say, "Even if one party is sick." ”

I said, "Even if it's not appropriate." ”

You say, "Even if the status is not appropriate." ”

I said, "You won't make me wait any longer." ”

You say, "I won't let you wait any longer." ”

I said, "I will not fail again." ”

You say, "No more pledges." ”

You close your eyes.

I said with a trembling voice, "Guide, that knight in black armor, is that you?" ”

You say, "That gray-haired old lady, is that you?"

We looked at each other with tears in our eyes, speechless.

We looked at each other.

I threw myself into your arms again. I burst into tears in your arms. You put your arms around my shoulders hard. I feel the strength of your arm.

You snort and reach out to cover your neck.

I said, "What's the matter, guide?" ”

You say, "I feel it again." It's here. That amulet. It's back. ”

My voice trembled and I said, "I'm back too." ”

I said, "I'm back too." Brother. ”

I feel your tears falling down my hair.

I listen to your breathing.

You choked up and said, "Qin'er......."

Dear you! Dear you! I've been thinking about you for the rest of my life!

I couldn't help but whimper in your arms.

It was a heartbreaking moment. I felt like the bones in my body were going to be crushed to powder by grief.

(5)

I sobbed and said, "It's been so long, so long!" ”

You say, "No matter how long." ”

I said, "Yes." No matter how long. ”

You say, "The important thing is that we're together again." ”

Oh, yes. We're together again.

All those joys and sorrows, will they do it all over again?

Will they be repeated over and over again, never stopped? (To be continued.) )