(a)

Once again, I met Kaohsiung at the back staircase. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info

He stood there smoking a cigarette with a large brown paper bag in his hand.

I said, "Brother Kaohsiung? Why don't you go up? ”

He saw me approaching and took several hard puffs of the cigarette between his fingers, then he snuffed out the cigarette butt by the stairs and threw the cigarette butt that he had confirmed to be extinguished into the trash.

He said: "He's already in this condition, and the smell of smoke will be uncomfortable. I finished smoking, stood here for a while, cleared the smell of smoke, and went up again. ”

I looked at the paper bag. I said, "What's in there?" ”

Kaohsiung said: "He went to review the results of the examination the day before yesterday. ”

Kaohsiung handed me the big paper bag.

I winced. I didn't reach out to take it.

I said, "No." I don't want to look. ”

Kaohsiung looked at me. He suddenly reached out, grabbed my right hand, and put the paper bag in my hand.

He said, "Open it and see." ”

I shook my head.

He said, "You can't always be so cowardly! It's just a result. If you don't even dare to face this, then what else can you face? Open it and see. You have to be worthy of his liking! ”

I struggled to get rid of him. I said, "No! ”

While we were arguing, I heard a bang on the stairs.

The fire door in the stairwell was pushed open from the inside.

You appear at the corner of the stairs with a tired look.

"Don't push around, bring me the paper bag." You speak to us weakly.

"You two, come up too, come into the house and talk about something." You said and went back to your room.

Kaohsiung glared at me.

I glared at him too.

Then, silently, we followed you up the stairs, through the hallway, and into your room.

How did you know we had an argument outside?

(b)

in your room.

You're sitting at your desk with that brown paper bag.

You catch your breath for a moment, slowly unwrapping the rope around the paper bag, taking out the contents and placing them on the table.

You look at me, you smile a little, and say to me, "Since you're here, come watch it with me, okay?" Let's watch together? ”

I looked at you, and then at Kaohsiung.

Again, you say, "Will you show me?" ”

I bit my lip and whispered, "Of course." I'll watch it with you. ”

So we looked at those things together. You hold up the CT film and look at the light.

You say, "Do you see those blacks?" ”

I saw that the shocking black color had spread all over your stomach and was climbing up the esophagus of the upper gastrointestinal tract, and at the same time, it was also expanding through the chest and cardia to the organs in the lower part of the abdominal cavity.

Your entire internal organs are shrouded in a black mist.

It's so hideous, so dangerous, it's like the dark sky before a superstorm.

No wonder the pain is so overwhelming and unbearable! How it devours and robs you of the last of your life within!

With tears in my eyes, I said, "I see." ”

Kaohsiung whispered: "It spreads very quickly. Faster than you think. It has metastasized to multiple organs and glands. ”

You say, "Yes." ”

You put that big picture down and put it back on the table.

You look at me, and you say, "Are you scared?" ”

I lowered my eyelashes. My voice trembled and I said, "Yes." ”

Kaohsiung said: "Let's go to the hospital again, no matter what, we can take a little intervention, maybe we can delay it a little." But if you have any means, try them anyway. Maybe it won't hurt so badly. ”

You shake your head. You say to Kaohsiung, "Thank you. Thank you very much for your continued medical care. However, there are always limits to medical care. Fortunately, I could have died without the help of a doctor. ”

You ask me again, "Xinxin, are you afraid?" ”

I'm looking at you.

You say, "Now, we all have two choices: fear it, or, let it be afraid." ”

You say, "I'll choose the latter one." ”

You say, "What about you?" Xinxin, will you choose to be with me? ”

You say, "What will you choose?" And I will part ways here, or, continue to be with me and face it. ”

I look up at you with tears in my eyes.

How brave you are, my dear! In moments like these, you are more powerful than us bystanders! You can still be a giver of power.

I was deeply ashamed to suppress the pain in my heart.

I looked at you steadfastly, and I said, "I will choose whatever you choose." I'll be with you. ”

I looked at Kaohsiung.

I said, "I will be worthy of your guidance and teaching." I choose, not afraid. ”

You listen, and you smile with satisfaction.

You slowly put the items on the table back into the paper bag. You re-wrap the string of the paper bag. Then, you say, "Of course you deserve it." ”

You say, "Heart, I know that you will support me and increase my strength in this moment." ”

(c)

You say, "Xinxin, remember when you said you wanted to have the strength of the heart after long-term training?" ”

I nodded and said, "I remember." ”

You say, "But that desire alone is not enough." Such a wish is only an idea, not a goal. ”

You say, "We also need to turn our ideas into a goal that we can approach every day." ”

I look at you and I say, "Target? ”

You nodded. You say, "Do you know the difference between an idea and a goal?" ”

I shook my head.

You pick up a ballpoint pen and write a line on the white paper: "The Power of the Mighty Heart," and you draw a circle to circle the words.

You say, "Strictly speaking, what is in this circle is just an idea, not a goal." ”

You say, "There are many people in the world who have ideas, but not many people who have goals. A lot of people mistake their thinking for a goal. But they are not the same. ”

You say, "What's the difference between a goal and an idea?" ”

You say, "The difference is in quantification. ”

You say, "For example, in my life, I want to buy a car like the one in Kaohsiung." That's the idea. ”

Next to that circle on the paper, you wrote another line: "40." 30 million. ”

You say, "I'm going to buy a $30 million car of such and such a brand, such and such a series, such and such a color, and such and such displacement before the age of 40." ”

You say, "Now, it's starting to evolve towards a goal." ”

You continue to write the numbers on the paper.

You say, "The current price of this car is this number X." The number of years I want to achieve my goal is N years. ”

You say, "Then, let's go a little deeper." ”

You say, "To do this, I need to accumulate XXXX million in N years." Among them, XX million are needed in the first year, and XX million are needed in the second year. ”

You say: "In the first quarter of the first year, I want to get XX million through the XX project, and XX million through the XX channel." Get YY million through YY channels. ”

You're constantly writing all sorts of numbers.

You say, "To do that, in the first month, the first week of the quarter, I need to achieve the following numerical goals. ”

You say, "To do that, today, I need to achieve the following numerical goals." ”

You say, "This goes deeper into digitalization, that idea, it will eventually become a goal." We can get to that goal step by step. ”

You say, "Xinxin, it's like when we become champions on the shooting range, there must be a digital training plan behind us." If you want to get that kind of power, every day, every hour, every minute, you have to have a digital metric, and you have to do your best to achieve the current metrics. You won't have time to grieve. You also won't feel powerless. You don't feel the emptiness within. ”

You say, "The reason why you feel weak and helpless is because you don't have such a plan, you don't have a firm determination to do it day by day, and you stay the course." ”

You say, "Without such a plan, insight will always be just a conceptual insight, and it will not be one with your life." Only by implementing such a plan can we make fundamental changes in life, change the quality and direction of life, and finally implement the unity of knowledge and action. ”

You say, "Remember the biography of His Holiness Milarepa that we read together?" ”

I nodded. Your words inspired and shook me strongly.

You say, "The continuous correction of daily behavior is practice." ”

Say, "As a parting gift, can you give me a plan that you will implement every hour of the day?" ”

(iv)

After I left that day.

Kaohsiung said to you: "I now know why Xinxin likes you so much." ”

You say, "Why?" ”

Kaohsiung said: "Because, you know how to release the kind of power that she didn't think she had." ”

You look at Kaohsiung, you smile and say, "You know that." We have different approaches, but we have the same goal. ”

Kaohsiung's face flushed, and he paused.

He said, "I'm not, I don't really have ......."

You laugh a little.

You say, "She's worth it." You're right. She deserves it. ”

You say, "Let's divide it up." ”

Kaohsiung looks at you.

He nodded. He said, "Okay." We divide it up. ”