(a)

After bidding farewell to the Grand Lama Tubudan, the Han army's horse team escorted our car out of Yuanjue Monastery.

This time, you can't ride a horse anymore, and you can't sit across from me anymore. You can only half-lie in the car. To avoid bumps, fill the sides of your head with soft blankets and fluffy pillows.

But even then, you haven't spoken, you haven't opened your eyes since the wheels started rolling, you lie there, not moving.

I didn't speak again along the way.

I sat across from you, silently watching you, helplessly, as you fell into unbearable dizziness.

In this way, we silently faced each other, passed through the land of ice and snow, returned to Yunjing, and entered the majestic city gate. Above us, there was a lead-gray, cloudy sky.

(b)

We parted at the south gate of the Intramuros.

The butler in your mansion is already waiting for you at the gate of the palace with a warm car.

I watched as you were carefully lifted into the car warmer. The car slowly left the palace gate with you. My car was parked there. I watched as the car in your mansion drifted away. I watched through the curtain as you walked farther and farther away, out of my sight. My heart, with you, has gone far, far away.

"Madame Jun." The chamberlain cautioned me.

I looked back from afar. I looked at the countless copper-clad nails on the huge palace door. I suddenly felt that this place where I had lived for a few years was so desolate and unfamiliar, as if it were a strange planet that no one had ever set foot on.

I lowered the curtain that had picked up a corner. I leaned back in my chair.

The car started sparkling.

I listened to the sound of wheels running over the bluestone road.

The car drove into the sprawling city within a city again.

In the cold wind, in the remnants of snow everywhere, in the dim light, the long car drove into the empty city.

The huge palace door slowly closed again behind him.

I'm back here, back in my mausoleum. Back in my prison, back to life without you.

(c)

I sat alone again in an unlit room.

I looked out the window at the snow.

I felt like I had become as dry as a corpse of thousands of years, as old as it was, so stiff, so lifeless. Countless despair climbed up from the deep well of my heart. The entire yard was covered with sinister-eyed vultures.

I felt the chill coming from within. The cold permeated every crevice of my bones.

I spent a lot of time in front of my parents' tablets.

I sat there on my knees for a long time.

I felt bitterly lonely.

I looked at your father's tablet for a long time. Remembering those words he said to me on his deathbed.

How unfortunate you are in this life. There was no dying goodbye with my mother, no dying goodbye with my father, and no dying goodbye with the woman I loved.

I think of your loneliness, and I unconsciously cry a thousand lines.

(iv)

For the next two days, you did not enter the palace.

After the chamberlain went to investigate, he reported that you were not feeling well. Can't get out of bed.

I don't know how you spent those two days.

I instructed the attendants to send the best bird's nest from the palace to your house, hoping that they can stew a little bird's nest porridge so that you can eat a little to nourish your weakness. I don't know if you've eaten a little bit or not.

(5)

Day 3. You're in the palace. You have come to see the princess and repay her and resign.

It stands to reason that I'm back to normal now, and I should be with me. However, I really didn't dare to participate. I had no idea if I would lose control in front of Liu Shen's mother. I'm already dying of grief. There's really no strength left to sustain these things that have to be maintained.

So I waited for you to come out in the small garden of the palace. I instructed the chief attendant to wait for you to come out of Shangyang Palace, and then lead you here to speak.

I sat under a lot of plum blossoms. I sat on the beauty of the garden. Feed the fish in the small pond. Many of the petals fall on the water with the north wind. They also fell on my skirt and hair.

I sprinkled the crumbs of pasta in my hand little by little in the pool, and many fish came from far and wide to join in the chaos of the fight for food.

With a certain pity of sorrow, I saw them with their open mouths held high, fighting with all their attention, their tails snapping into the water.

In any world. There are brutal wars that take place because of the scramble. It's not just the world we're born into.

To live, is this how you want to fight for me? Do you have to live or die like this?

If that's the case, then I'd rather never be born.

But how can we never be born? Is that something we can control?

(f)

I felt a sound behind me.

I looked back. You've come so close to me.

I'm looking at you. You seem to have recovered a lot. You're now, except a little thinner. It looks like it's almost the same as when I galloped back to the palace to see Concubine Taishu. It seems that the medicinal wine given to you by the Grand Lama Tubudan is indeed effective.

I felt a little lighter.

You approach me. You reach out and gently remove a petal that has fallen on my bun.

I said, "Sit down." ”

We sat together on the beauty's back. I handed you a little fish food. You sprinkle them on the water. Together, we watched the fish gather in layers.

I said, "I wonder what kind of existence we are in their eyes." ”

You say, "It must not be the presence we feel." ”

I said, "Will they have sorrow too?" Can you also understand what is the heartbreak of parting, what is the vain tears, what is the long-term longing, and what is the loneliness of the heart? ”

You say, "Perhaps, they understand." It's just that, just as they can't understand us, we can't understand them either. ”

(g)

I said, "Have you quit with the concubine?" ”

You say, "Yes." ”

I said, "When are you going to leave?" ”

You say, "Tomorrow." ”

I said, "Are you feeling better?" ”

You say, "Much better." I didn't have any more pain in the past two days. I slept well at night. ”

I said, "Really? ”

You say, "Really." You see, I can enter the palace by myself, and I can ride a horse. ”

You say, "Qin'er, thank you for sending the bird's nest." The stewed porridge was very moist and I ate it every morning and evening. ”

With tears in my eyes, I said, "That's good." That's good. ”

You say, "After I left, the Lingnan Palace's mansion was empty again." Anyway, there has been no one to live in for a long time, so it is better for you to talk to King Han and send it to other uses. ”

I shook my head and said, "King Han will not agree to use it for other purposes, and he will always keep it for you." ”

Say, "Great house, but a pity." There are so many people in the world who need shelter from the wind and rain. (To be continued.) )

PS: Note: It's on the shelves today, because more pre-saved chapters were released in the early stage in the system, and the scheduled release of the chapters was set, and the chapters with scheduled releases could not enter the VIP volume, and the volume could only be readjusted, resulting in a mess in the order of publishing. This chapter is supposed to be released after "Parting Love". It cannot be modified after it has been published. There can only be one chapter to confuse. Personally, I think this background system is relatively difficult to use. But if the national situation is like this, it can only be settled.

Also note: This volume should be divided into volumes in "Gino Scimitar Volume VIII: Farewell to Life and Death"