Zhaojiazhuang festered like a big scabies by the Yellow River, and at night it was like a dog's skin plaster.

The Yellow River is the dividing line between us and Linxian County, and it is also the dividing line between us and neighboring provinces, but no one has ever seen the Yellow River. The laws of the Ming Dynasty stipulate that villagers are not allowed to go out of the township, let alone go out of the county or province. The closer you are to the Yellow River, the higher the level of forbidden areas and the more soldiers, and anyone who comes close to the Yellow River will be immediately executed.

If it is summer, the Yellow River is at its most abundant in the summer when it rains the most. At that time, on a quiet summer night, a low roar could be heard through the crisp sound of crickets. It was the roar of the Yellow River, as if it was the background color of the world, the echo of the universe, and this sound filled space and time.

I can't help but wonder, are the Hebei people in the north living like us Central Plains people? Is there a person like me in Hebei Province who looks at and listens to the other side of the river?

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I walked, caught up in my old thoughts.

Dog leftovers and his father Zao Wou-Ki is one of the few people in our village who has been to the provincial capital, and he is also one of the few people that his father admires. His big name is Wuji, although others call him "Dog Leftover Father" and "Big Dog".

In a certain year, the imperial court rectified the hawkers—they called the hawkers "private gangsters"—and all those who bought and sold were executed, and even the chicken dealers were killed, so that the provincial city of Luoyang had no chickens to eat, and Uncle Wuji took thousands of chickens to Luoyang. So he became one of the few people in the village who had seen the world.

I usually listen to him and know that he is a smart person after listening to a few words. He is logical and straight to the point. Unlike other villagers, they are confused, speak upside down, and don't know what to say.

Zao Wou-Ki has always said to me, "A good man has ambitions in all directions. The great country is free for you to travel! ”

Dad: "Nonsense! Why don't you let your son out? ”

Zao Wou-Ki: "My son, where is that piece of material?" ”

Dad: "Big cows don't go out either!" ”

Me: "I want to get out!" ”

Zao Wou-Ki beckoned to me: "Da Niu, I'll teach you to read......"

Dad: "I don't want you to teach!" What is the use of reading? The more you read, the more stupid you get! ”

I felt a pang of shame. How is Dad the same as the people in the village? Say something like that!

Zao Wou-Ki and his father quarreled.

At this point, I would say impatiently, "I'm going to play with the dog." ”

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Gou Buli always follows me and Gou Yu'er, inseparable.

I always said at that time, you are really right, you see that we don't even want to pay attention to you, you hurry up, where to stay cool!

She was young and dirty, and she stubbornly grabbed his brother's pants and didn't let go. After rushing many times, we had no choice, so we had to keep this little tail.

When we climbed the tree, she picked up dates and pears underneath; When we caught fish, she looked at the clothes by the puddle; When we stole corn on the cob, she gave us a lookout; When we were reading with my dad and my dog's father, she was grimacing and barking outside. Later, his father and my father couldn't grind her, so they called her in, and she became the only girl in the village who could read.

I remember that I often bullied her at that time, and I thought she was so annoying, until one day, I found out that she had grown up. Suddenly, I was embarrassed to bully her.

It was during that time that I felt that the world was different from what I thought, some cruel, some beautiful - but more cruel.

After that, it was nothing. She finally stopped playing with us, and I had no reason to be with her, except to pretend to go to the dog.

Then something unpleasant happened, and we were even more estranged.

I thought—because I can't be with her, I'm going to go away; Because I was going away, I couldn't be with her.

Which is the true reason? I resolutely dissected myself and came to the conclusion that in the end, it was my selfishness, my bastard, and I could sacrifice anything, including her.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder, what will happen in the future if I chase her?

I went to the dog's house every day and stuck with her, and she started to annoy me, but time is everything, and she will fall in love for a long time, and she can't help it. If she doesn't want me, it's not the same if she wants someone else; She doesn't want anyone else, and she doesn't want me to be the same. She would give birth to ten children and then, like all old women, would be crushed by the burdens of life. She knows more, and that only makes her more miserable; I know more, and that only makes me more miserable. Nothing can be changed.

Eventually, natural disasters every decade or decades will wipe it all out. Not to mention the once-in-a-decade purges and random rebellions and even the change of dynasty – and even the legendary apocalypse.

If these disasters do not come, it will be the greatest disaster - dull to death.

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Step by step, I walked in the darkness, stumbling, and came to their house at the entrance of the village.

I shouted, "Dog leftovers, dog leftovers, dog leftovers!" ”

Knocking on their broken fence, it was a long time before the ducks quacked awake and came out of it in a hurry—the dogs ignored them.

She was sleepy-eyed, draped in an overcoat, and carried a soybean oil lamp. Under the fire-like bean light, the long black hair was draped over the shoulders, the old cotton jacket was underneath the underwear that did not cover the body, the loose red cloth pants, and the feet were playfully pulling a pair of ill-fitting red slippers. The eyelashes are so long, I can't help but want to pull one down. She pursed her lips and couldn't help but want to kiss her immediately. She kept her head down, looking like she hadn't woken up.

I stared at her and said, "Come and see you." ”

I stared at her hard, from top to bottom, from bottom to top, presumptuously, without blinking—she was sleepy with her head down, anyway.

She: "My father and brother went to help other people, but they haven't come back yet." You're so late, what are you anxious about! ”

It's over, even the coquettish is so cute—it's going to be a crime. Just think about it, think about not breaking the law.

I stared at her.

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Probably she felt that time had passed a little longer, maybe she was confused enough, and she looked up.

The eyes are facing each other.

I was staring at her and thinking about something bad, and she jerked her head up, and I didn't even react - I was looking at her eyelashes, and suddenly I noticed that the big eyes under the eyelashes were staring at me!

Her: "Are you sick today, psychopath?" ”

Time is running out, hurry up and get it done. Early death and early reincarnation.

Me: "I'll go out tomorrow." It's far away, and I don't know if I can go back. ”

Her: "Where are you going?" ”

Me: "The person from the Dongfang family who came to our village that day, you know, the person from Pork Rong, told me to go to Chang'an to seek refuge with him. ”

She: "Take refuge? What do you mean? ”

Me: "That's what it means." ”

She: "Recruit? ”

Me: "Probably." ”

Her: "What? Did I hear you right? ”

Me: "There's nothing to hide. I'm going to take refuge in the Oriental Family. ”

She was visibly anxious, panting and her voice louder: "Do you know what that means? ”

Me: "Of course I do. ”

She shouted, "Damn, it's not a question of whether you can come back!" Enter! You're going to be castrated! ”

She was still holding the heavy oil lamp in one hand, and the other was gripping mine.

I said calmly, "I know." I'm ready. ”

She: "You...... You're not kidding! Say you're lying to me, say it! Say it! ”

Me: "Not really. The opportunity is rare, and the matter is urgent. I'm here to say goodbye to you. Early tomorrow morning, his subordinates will take me to Luoyang and then to Chang'an. ”

Her: "...... you?" You bastard, you used to say you were leaving, but I didn't expect you to play for real! ”

Me: "I guess it was a half-truth at the time, but now it's just decided." ”

She burst into tears. Tears just rolled down their faces, like bright pearls thrown into the dark ancient well.

I'm not sure what kind of crying it is. She also cried for a few days when her puppy died, maybe it was that feeling. But what happened next to her surprised me.

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She threw the lamp and hugged me.

The lamp rolled on the ground, and the wick flickered on the ground and went out.

Holding it so tightly that I couldn't stretch my legs and feet apart. I tried to push her, but she hugged her so tightly that she couldn't use any strength at all. Looking around, there was a dark silence. We can't see people, and we can't be seen. All senses are ineffective, except for touch.

Her hair floated on my face, cool and slippery. Her face was on my neck, hot, wet.

I took a few steps back to dodge her.

She hugged her so tightly, and she moved when I moved.

I stumbled and fell, and she threw herself on me.

I pushed her and tried to get up, but she was still pressing me, face to face, hand to hand, I struggled a few times, but I still couldn't get up, so we were on the ground like that, she was holding me and putting her hand on her.

My back is cold and my chest is hot.

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Thoughts and desires are intertwined.

I guess my desire took possession of my thoughts, because a desire popped up in my mind: at this moment, I am a free man, she is a free man, we are two free men, why can't we do whatever we want? Isn't it great to be a hero for a minute in a long and sad life?

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A few hundred words have been deleted here

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At this moment, my brain thundered, and a shining white star appeared in my eyes.

The mind takes over irresponsible desires at the most critical moment—the longevity of life that does not allow for any moment of death.

I pushed her away.

But she wouldn't allow it.

She was so hard, so stiff, so nervous, I think I hurt her, as I broke her hand.

I started getting dressed and handed her her clothes. She lay motionless on the ground. The clothes covered her, but she lay directly on the ground in the winter night.

Her voice trembled a little: "What's wrong with you?" ”

Me: "We can't take responsibility. The premarital examination is the responsibility of the county government, and no one can escape it. If something happens today, we'll all die. ”

She: "Da Niu, you are a bastard, a coward who is afraid of death!" ”

Me: "Maybe." I'm afraid you'll die. There is no hope for this. Something happened to us today, and if I can't leave, you'll all die. ”

Her: "You're a bastard!" I'm not afraid, what are you afraid of! ”

Me: "Sister Satsuki, listen to me." That's the best outcome – we do nothing. ”

Her: "What is the best result!" You're going out to be a eunuch! ”

Me: "That's the best of the worst out of the bunch." ”

"You bastard......" she choked up quietly.

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I quickly finished dressing and got up to help her.

Her: "Big Niu, I can't stand up!" ”

"What? What's wrong with you? I was taken aback and felt very empty, "What's wrong?" ”

Her: "I can't stand up. My legs don't obey me! Hands are so soft! ”

Me: "Don't bluff me! ”

I anxiously pulled her legs and pulled her body.

She's shaking, she's shaking so badly, won't she freeze for a while?

At this time, the voices of the dog and his father came from afar, and they were talking, and they came straight to us along the road.