Shaolin, see Shaolin again.

The world is in turmoil, and Shaolin's life is not easy. In the past, Shaolin relied on tenants outside the Shaolin Temple to survive. But now, the tenants are all gone, what does Shaolin eat? You can't eat wooden fish all day long, can you?

It is said that Shaolin and Wudang have been in civil strife. Some people say that the head of the family has been killed, and some people say that they don't - I don't really learn martial arts because I don't care what I'm doing so much. I'm just putting on a show.

Zheng County has everything, and naturally there are monks of the Shaolin school.

There is one street that is Shaolin Street. It is said that the street started as a pig slaughter, and it was called Pig Street. Some monks said that people killed people, so they drove them away, so Pig Street became Monk Street. The monk pretended to be Shaolin, and finally provoked the real Shaolin. Shaolin drove away a group of monks from Wutai Mountain, Putuo Mountain, and Jiuhua Mountain, so Monk Street became Shaolin Street.

I was strolling around Shaolin Street.

There is a signboard on the corner of the street, which reads "Accelerated Shaolin Martial Arts Class", and the one on the side reads "Martial Arts First, Tong Suo is not bullied, the imperial court is appointed, and the world is recognized!" ”

I leaned in.

A monk looked at me, and dozens of brocade guards around me, said, "Master Bing, do you want to learn Shaolin Kung Fu?" ”

I nodded: "How much?" ”

The monk said, "Look at what you're going to learn." into the mountains as an apprentice, ten silver dollars; When a lay disciple, a gold yuan; As an introductory disciple, ten gold dollars; As the master of the hall, one hundred gold dollars. ”

Me: "To be a Shaolin host, how many gold dollars?" ”

The monk was furious: "How can we use money to buy our Buddha Sect Pure Land?" ”

Me: "I don't believe you are really Shaolin!" Swagger here, be careful that I get you all caught. ”

The monk said, "Of course we are real! We have the royal degree of the Ming Dynasty! ”

He took it out.

In that year, the Chang'an forbidden army was in civil strife, the royal printing house was bombed, and the later Han Dynasty and the co-rule had no ability to make the degree, so the monks' degrees were still the Ming royal degrees. Du Mu is very valuable, because the monk can not pay taxes on the first, and the second can move freely, that is to say, the monk is a scholar who cannot marry a wife.

I took it and took a look, and it turned out to be real! The printing material is specially made, the printing ink is also specially made, and there are also his photographs, royal steel seals, and security labels.

The monk said, "Look, we are genuine Shaolin monks. ”

I nodded and took out ten gold dollars: "Very good!" I have a friend who wants to be a monk, well, a beginner disciple. ”

The monk bit Jin Yuan with his teeth and said happily: "He is now a Shaolin disciple!" ”

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I took my Shaolin disciple Wan Wanbao to Shaolin Street.

The monk said, "I'm going to shave his head, give him a scar, and change his name." But first of all, we Shaolin are all surnamed 'Shakya', we have hundreds of thousands of people, so many names are repeated. For example, my name is Shakya II, and there are hundreds of people in Shaolin alone who are called Shakya II, my master is also called Shakya II, and my apprentice is also called Shakya II, so it is also reasonable for you to call Shakya II, right? ”

I nodded and said, "Reasonable, reasonable, very reasonable." ”

Indeed, there are only a few thousand commonly used Chinese characters, and there are hundreds of thousands of Shaolin monks, so there must be a large number of Shaolin monks with duplicate names. There are probably no repetitions of names like "Shakya", "Shakya Donkey" and "Shakya Girl", and there are hundreds of repetitions of such a unique name as "Shakya II", and I am sure that there are at least a few thousand repetitions of names like "Shakya I".

Wan Wanbao twisted his head like a rattle: "No! My father said, the body is skinned, and the parents are affected! I'll never shave my head and scar! I won't change my name either! ”

I persuaded him for a long time, but he just didn't agree.

I reluctantly said to Shakyaji, "Ah! Then you can only be a lay disciple, and a lay disciple doesn't need this. ”

Shakyamuni said, "No! We Shaolin are the most trustworthy! If you say you are an introductory disciple, you will be an introductory disciple! ”

I was just about to continue to persuade Wan Wanbao, but Shakyamuni continued: "Because we never return the money!" ”

I said, "Then I don't want you to return the money, is it okay for him to be a lay disciple?" ”

Shakya II exhaled: "Say it earlier!" That's so good, you don't even have to change your surname. Such a suave teenager, what a pity to shave his head. ”

As a result, Wan Wanbao officially became a lay disciple of the Shaolin Temple, the first gang in martial arts.

I'm finally relieved.

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That's weird!

A few days later, Wan Wanbao, a lay disciple of Shaolin, appeared in front of my eyes, covered in blood.

I was shocked, Shaolin has always paid attention to harmony and wealth, why should it be fought and killed? Did he go to do chivalry?

I asked him, "Baby, what's wrong?" ”

Wan Wanbao: "I killed my master Shakyaji!" ”

I squirted out a sip of tea! Ten gold dollars were spent in vain!

He told the story of what had happened.

Wan Wanbao, a lay disciple of Shaolin, learns Shaolin's one move and two styles on Shaolin Street every day. I have already explained to him that he is not a true learner, nor is he really a Shaolin disciple, but just puts a few Shaolin moves in a fight, so that people think that he is a Shaolin faction. That's all.

He studied hard, and his wife Miao Huahua went to see him every day, wiped his sweat, gave him food, gave him drink, and envied others.

"Others" means "monks". The monk moved his hands and feet to Miao Huahua. Wan Wanbao didn't know what this meant at first, and thought it was a friendly gesture from the monks to him and her.

One day, Wan Wanbao heard Miao Huahua's life-saving voice. Who is Wan Wanbao? He's a super master on the third basement floor! He could hear mosquitoes a hundred meters away, let alone this!

He rushed to a room and found Shakyaji holding Miao Huahua on the bed. Miao Huahua shouted: "He wants to insult me!" Kill him! ”

Wan Wanbao was bloody, and killed his master in 0.1 seconds.

That's how things went.

I asked him, "Have you learned Shaolin moves?" ”

Wan Wanbao said hesitantly: "I only learned to squat in Shaolin horse steps." ”

I said, "Very good, this is the real and only Shaolin Kung Fu, and I really didn't spend this money in vain." It's okay, go back and appease your wife. It's okay. ”

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I'm the court! I have 3,000 forbidden troops and tens of thousands of Jinyi guards by my side, will I be afraid of Shaolin's revenge?

However, Shaolin is not a vegetarian, they are the first gang in martial arts, not to mention that Shakya is the master of Shaolin Hall, and he is one of the five hundred personal disciples presided over by Shaolin.

Hundreds of Shaolin monks surrounded our camp. Not to mention, Shaolin monks are also very powerful, some of them jumped over the three-meter-high wall at once and jumped into the camp, and then were beaten into a sieve by my submachine gun. The rest were also beaten away by us, leaving dozens of corpses behind.

And so the situation got worse. Shaolin Mountain, the base camp of Shaolin Temple, is just south of Zheng County, and a large number of Shaolin monks surrounded Zheng County.

"Wang Facai", the leader of the "General Private Gang", said in horror: "Shaolin is not easy to mess with!" Shaolin Temple is a provincial-level temple, and the official rank of Shaolin is second only to the governor of the Central Plains, and the official rank of the Shaolin Temple is higher than that of the governor of the Central Plains. ”

Me: "I'm going to meet them." ”

More than 100,000 Shaolin monks and tens of thousands of Jinyi guards confronted each other on the outskirts of Zheng County.

Lu Chengzhi was a little scared and said: "The other party is so fierce!" Do you want to avoid it first? I still have hundreds of thousands of brocade guards in Kaifeng. ”

I shouted to the other side, "Who's coming?" ”

A fat monk on the opposite side shouted: "I am the apprentice of Shakya I, the head of the eighteen Arhats of Shaolin, and today I am here to avenge my master's apprentice Shakya Er!" Who are you? ”

Me: "I am Chen Ju, the Chen family of Qicheng, Shandong, the imperial court, and I am in charge of the affairs of the rivers and lakes. Shakya 2 cheated money and sex, and was killed by me. ”

Shakyayi: "If you kill it, it's over?" ”

Me: "Nonsense! You cheat money everywhere and cause trouble everywhere, I am the imperial court, so I naturally have to take care of it. ”

Shakyayi: "The court is incapable, and the world is in chaos!" We have hundreds of thousands of people, we have nothing to eat, how can we do it without cheating money! ”

When he asked this, I secretly said yes. Yes, hundreds of thousands of people have nothing to eat, how can they not cheat money? How can you do it without robbery? You let the first gang of martial arts go around begging for food? What a shame! I won't do it if I change it! If I were replaced, I would have to cheat money and grab money.

Well, I was convinced by him. I decided to forgive him. The imperial court can't support others, so naturally it can't control others not to rob and cheat money and sex.

Shakyamuni continued: "I lied to you that I could afford you! Don't think you're amazing if you have tens of thousands of guards! In the Central Plains, no one dares to mess with my Great Shaolin Temple! ”

He waved his hand: "Kill them all, just say that they were killed by a cult!" Come on! robbed them of their silver and women! ”

A group of monks rushed over with sticks and knives! The leader even ran and flew! It's worthy of Shaolin!

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The Praetorian Army first threw out hundreds of grenades, and then brought out a burst of submachine gun fire.

Jin Yiwei rushed forward with an embroidered spring knife.

The Shaolin Temple was defeated.

Thousands of monks died, hundreds were taken prisoner, and more than 100,000 people ran away.

I began to interrogate the captives and slowly got to know Shaolin as well.

Ay! Everything in the world is inexplicable, and the same is true of Shaolin.

When the world was in turmoil and Shaolin had no money, they had three choices: first, starve to death; second, dissolution; Third, do bad things.

Actually, they all chose.

Many righteous Shaolin disciples starved to death, they are the real Shaolin people, but no one knows.

The conscientious Shaolin disciples went home, and not many people knew about them.

The rest of the temple are the scum of Shaolin, doing all the bad things, pretending to be Shaolin - in fact, they are not impersonating, they are really Shaolin Temple, the Shaolin Temple approved by the imperial court.

Ay! Paradox! Even the Shaolin Temple can't escape the paradox!

Lu Chengzhi looked at the degree on the ground and said, "Damn, this is the real degree!" If you look at these degree photos, just like them, they are the real Shaolin Temple! I thought it was a fake. ”

Lu Chengzhi asked the Shaolin captive: "Who are you presiding over now?" ”

They said, "A man called 'Shakya is invincible.'" ”

I was furious: "What a broken name! How dare you call four words! He is so arrogant that he blatantly violated the King James Name Law! The name of my co-governance can only be three words! Capital crime! ”

Lu Chengzhi glanced at me and said to the captive, "The new host? What is the origin of this guy? ”

The captive said, "I don't know where it came from." He claimed to be the hall master, and was arrested by the court and ran out. ”

Lu Chengzhi asked: "What happened three months ago?" ”

The captive nodded.

Lu Chengzhi slapped his thigh: "Wanted!" Wanted criminals who escaped from prison! I thought they only dared to fight the small gang, but I didn't expect that they would even dare to grab the position of Shaolin host! ”

He shouted at the people around him: "Flying pigeons pass the book, call all the hundreds of thousands of Jinyi guards in Kaifeng to come over!" We're going to - attack Shaolin! ”

Ay! It's even more messy.