"Why doesn't your mother take you home?"

"I don't have a mother."

"Huh? Why don't you have a mom? We all have it. ”

Facing the innocent questions of his friends, the young Huang Xiaobei rubbed his little nose.

"If you don't have a mother, you don't have a mother, you don't know it, you don't have to go to bed so early every day without a mother, you can watch TV as long as you want, you don't have to wash your hands often, your clothes are torn, you don't need to make up for it, just buy a new one, hehe, how good."

"Wow, you're so nice, you can do whatever you want."

Facing the envious eyes of his friends, Huang Xiaobei straightened his small waist and smiled proudly.

"yes, I think I'm good, too."

A gentle call rang out from behind the children, shattering the shield on which the little boy depended.

"Xiaobao has gone home for dinner."

"Xiao Lin is going to do his homework after eating."

"Ah, it's not good, mom is here, Xiaobei, let's play together tomorrow."

In the blink of an eye, the sand of the park was gone, leaving only rows of immature footprints.

The mothers held their children's dirty hands, complaining and helplessly saying, "What time is it, look at your dirty body." ”

"Hey Mom, I was praised by the teacher in kindergarten today."

All the children were taken home by their parents, and in the blink of an eye, only one child was left on the sand that was still full of children playing.

The little boy was very beautiful, and his big eyes looked like a girl's.

Looking at the writhing bodies of his friends when they were taken away by their parents, and looking at the gentle looks on their parents' faces, the little boy squatted on the ground and watched quietly.

After looking at the direction of his house for a while, and making sure that no one would come to pick him up, the little boy stood up, put his dirty little hands in his pockets, lowered his head, and left.

In his mouth, he muttered quietly.

"yes, I think it's good, too."

The small figure, walking alone on the road, under the sunset, the immature back is sprinkled on the golden ground.

Isn't that good, too.......

Huang Xiaobei looked at himself silently when he was a child and shook his head.

Nothing, really nothing, I don't care, I understand.

The eye house is very good to me, unimaginably good, and one person wants to carry the good of two people.

I know that he is very tired, very tired, and sometimes I wonder if I dragged him to death, and sometimes I even wonder, without me, will he be able to live a few more years?

Drag oil bottles? That's right.

————————

"Hehe, I'll tell you a joke, that is, there was such a person in the past, he ......"

"Hey, hey, aren't you annoying, everyone told this joke yesterday in the next class, what else are you talking about? It's not interesting at all. ”

"That's it, you'd better talk about something else interesting."

Huang Xiaobei lowered his head.

"I won't do anything else."

"Cut, boring."

Soon, Huang Xiaobei raised his head cheaply and smiled very badly.

"Then I'll tell you something else, it's very interesting, it's really interesting."

No one was paying attention to him, and a few people were just waving their hands in response.

Huang Xiaobei's eyes were a little lower, but he still smiled and came to the side of his classmates.

"It's really interesting."

The boy in the light blue school uniform gathered around the other children in the light blue school uniform, trying to blend in with them and let them hear their jokes.

Perhaps, he just wants everyone to pay more attention to him.

In exchange, only Huang Xiaobei's disdainful gaze was obtained.

——————————

"Come on, play games, play games, Xiaobei, are you still missing someone?"

Huang Xiaobei didn't say a word, rolled up his sleeves and said.

"Then I have to come, don't you know that I'm playing this, it's definitely ......"

"Well, can you bring me one?"

More than a dozen eyes invariably fell on Huang Xiaobei's body.

Huang Xiaobei's heart twitched, and he seemed to anticipate something.

"Haha, the three good students must bring it, Xiaobei, you wait for the next round."

"Yes, yes."

Lowering his head and raising it again, Huang Xiaobei stood aside with a smile, no loss was seen between his eyebrows, only a silly smile.

Standing on the sidelines, he smiled hesitantly, and didn't seem to feel unfair at all.

Huang Xiaobei snorted coldly.

I knew what he was thinking, although I felt uncomfortable, but I was afraid of being excluded by everyone, so I didn't dare to do anything excessive.

Even he felt that this was the treatment he deserved!

I'm such a bad person, if only everyone could play with me, wait a little longer, it's nothing.

The smile on Huang Xiaobei's face became even colder.

"Come on, play games, play games, Xiaobei, are you still missing someone?"

Huang Xiaobei patted his chest and said.

"Then I have to come, don't you know that I'm playing this, that's definitely ......"

"Well, can you bring me one?"

This time, before others spoke, Huang Xiaobei was the first to come to the side of the three good students.

"Hey, hey, I said that I took the initiative to learn and learn with good students, hey, it's good to be a good student to play."

The self-aware gaze looked at him a little sad, but he still smiled.

——————————

"Today I'm going to play guitar for you, and I'm going to give you a song called "Castle in the Sky."

Under the eyes of everyone, he thought he was playing well.

"Huh."

The first snickering sounded.

He played a wrong note, and a cold sweat ran down his forehead.

"Hehehe."

A second snickerer rang out.

He unconsciously stopped and smiled.

"Hahaha."

More laughter rang out.

He also stood on the stage and laughed.

Huang Xiaobei looked indifferently at the guy in front of the stage who was smiling very humbly.

By the end, no one was talking anymore, everyone was laughing.

He carried his guitar, stood on the podium with a wooden voice, listened to the laughter, and laughed along with himself.

He just followed everyone's wishes so naturally, turned himself into a pure joke, and let himself stride forward on the funny road.

So, he's just a joke, and no matter what he does, he'll always be just a pathetic joke.

—————————

Huang Xiaobei smiled and nodded.

This is him, this is the old me, the joke in everyone's eyes.

To be honest, I hated him, so much that I hated him, to the point of hate.

Because he's too self-conscious.

Isn't it just that I didn't have a mother when I was a child? What is this? What is that!

Although he didn't say it on the surface, I knew that he was very envious, he was very envious of those children who had mothers, so he really wanted to get more, so he would rather be treated like a joke than be around people.

He thought he was happily holding hands with others, but in fact, he was licking their thighs like a dog.

People threw him bones, but he thought it was friendship, and he licked other people's thighs, and he didn't see the other party's foolish eyes at all.

Pitiful, so pitiful, so I really hate my former self, why are you so cheap?

Isn't there just no mother? If you don't, you can't! Wouldn't it be nice for you to live a good life yourself?

Friend? What kind of friends do you want? Haven't you seen through what kind of virtue a person is? Do you have to wait until you really see it all before you run away?

Do you have to make you like me to be happy?

Why, why can't it be earlier, why can't it be far away from everyone earlier!

Huang Xiaobei hugged his legs tightly and buried his head deep in his knees.

To be honest, I don't want to be like this, I really want to forget my past self and be a normal person, but no, those ridicules always come into my mind from time to time, making me recall everything in the past, making me look at those cruelties over and over again, looking at those indifference......

I don't want to watch it, I really don't want to watch it anymore........

"Can anyone help me? Can anyone help me? ”

Hear that waste's helpless call again, his desperate voice again.

Huang Xiaobei buried his head in his knees, and his fists suddenly clenched! There was a staggered sound of bone joints.

I really, don't want to watch it anymore.......

Carl was still reading his big truth, his outlook on life, and his understanding of the world.

But in summary, there is only one sentence, the world is beautiful.

A sly smile suddenly flashed in Huang Xiaobei's confused eyes.

Turning his head and looking at Carl beside him with a smile, Huang Xiaobei asked with a smile.

"Is the world really beautiful?"

——————————

"Cremation of the remains takes place tomorrow, sign here."

Staring at the "Cremation List of the Deceased's Remains" in front of him, Huang Xiaobei didn't cry, and reached out to take it in a daze.

"Hmm."

The doctor looked at him, flipped through the report in his hand, "Do you want to say goodbye?" ”

Lowering his head, Huang Xiaobei said hoarsely.

"No, I want to ...... alone"

"After the cremation, you have to go to the police station as soon as possible to close the account, and you have to sign some more bills to deal with all the life relations of the deceased, and remember to send the remaining medical expenses after the inheritance."

Huang Xiaobei clenched the cremation sheet in his hand, and his voice was as weak and helpless as a mosquito.

"No, I don't have the money to buy it, I bought a cemetery."

The doctor frowned.

"Are there no other dependents? Then you can consider sea burial or something, many people do it now, after all, the price of the cemetery is very realistic, of course, if you don't want to deal with it, you can also leave it directly to the cremation unit, they will help you, if you agree, sign a list with me. ”

Huang Xiaobei finally raised his head.

The dim light shone on his immature and bloodless face, his pupils were dull and even festering, his lips were chapped to the point of bleeding, and now he was almost exactly the same as the white cloth covering his eyes inside.

Looking at the masked doctor in front of him, standing in the corridor in front of the dimly lit morgue, he shook the cremation slip in his hand weakly, and forced his dead man-like face to show a smile.

"I, I'll borrow it."

The doctor looked at him, pushed his glasses, and nodded.

"Well, yes, but if something happens in the future, don't say anything bad, after all, the hospital has already waived a lot of fees for you, otherwise you owe more than a cemetery now."

"Thanks, thank you, then, I'll borrow it."

Huang Xiaobei bowed slowly to the doctor and watched his figure leave.

The sound of leather shoes stepping on the marble corridor sounded, and the angel in white did not want to continue to communicate with this person who still had a future, and strode away.

With the sound of departing footsteps, a faint voice came from the doctor's dark and upright back.

"It's good to be happy early, it's a mortal person anyway, what's the use of delaying it for a few days, heh."

The dilated pupils blinked slightly, and the doctor's indifferent white figure gradually became illusory in front of his eyes, Huang Xiaobei opened his chapped mouth, and wanted to say something, but found that he couldn't say anything.

The hysterical rant had never had anything to do with him.

Despair and anger brought him a lot, but he could do very little.

There were no tears in his eyes, and the plan to fight back with tears was cracked.

So, standing in front of the morgue and not moving, he could only whisper in his heart.

"That's my dad, the guy who stays with me all the time, the guy who plays with me, sleeps me, tells me stories, you, you know?"

He wished he could hear an answer, but as the footsteps grew farther and farther away, all he was left with was deathly silence.

It seems like a long time has passed.

He stood in front of the door of the morgue in a daze, clutching the "Cremation Sheet" in his hand, staring at his toes with dilated pupils, and whispering to himself.

"I just want him to spend more time with me, I just want him to spend more time with me, that's it, that's it."

Before leaving, Huang Xiaobei glanced at the closed door of the morgue, and in the dim light, the three big characters were so clear.

He knew that the person who doted on him was lying in it at the moment.

He wanted to go in again, but he didn't dare.

He's not afraid of anything else, he's afraid of thinking about the future again.

I used to have a dad and I didn't have to think about anything, but now, it's gone.

He was afraid.

——————————

No one lends it to me, and neither do the loan sharks.

Understandably, because I can't afford to pay it back, no one will want to lend it to me.

When my father is gone, I only have myself, and I am such a bad person who even has a problem with my own food and clothing, how can anyone be willing to lend me money?

People are compassionate, but how long can compassion last?

A beggar came to beg from you, and you see that he had pity on him.

The next day it came again, and you see that he had pity on him.

But what about the third day? What about the fourth day?

Without compassion, you see that beggar is only disgusted and disgusted.

I'm the beggar in everyone's eyes, the disgusting beggar.

So, no one will be willing to help me anymore.

The world is very realistic, I am also very wasteful, I really want my father to walk more comfortably, I don't want him to be buried by the so-called sea.

What is a sea burial? The ashes were thrown into the sea.

What does it mean for the cremation unit to help me deal with it? Dispose of the ashes in the trash.

It's normal, because Dad's ashes are very important to me, but to other people, they are bad things, and everyone can take care of my feelings and help me throw them away, it's already pitiful for me, isn't it?

Dad really didn't notice this when he left.

I don't have to think about anything when I'm here, I don't have to see so many cruel things, I just have to be happy.

I miss him very, very much.

But he's gone now, it's just me.

What am I going to do?

I don't want my dad to be thrown away, I want him to be comfortable, what should I do? Would anyone like to help me?

Nobody, nobody.

Well, it's really good, so cold.

I don't want to ask for help anymore, and I don't want to hear the whispers of those demons in my heart anymore.

That's it, I'll be alone in the future, I'm like that, I am only accompanied by loneliness and pain.

Touching his red and swollen forehead, Huang Xiaobei hugged the last thing his father left in this world in his arms.

But no, no, Dad, and Dad, I can't let him be thrown away like this, I have to find a way, I ...... I'll kneel again, I'll be that disgusting beggar in the eyes of everyone, even if I hear their terrible voices, it doesn't matter, as long as they can help me, as long as someone is willing to help me!

I just!

Silent to death in the home.

Huang Xiaobei hugged the last thing his father left for him, and curled up in the dark corner of the room, unrelieved.

Go stay with my dad, that's all I can do.

I don't want to see him thrown away, I really ..... Don't want to.

Remittance, 100,000.