When I arrived at the audio-visual classroom, it was still empty. However, after calming down after being reminded by An Yilun before, Jiang Yu was not in a hurry, and just took this time to organize his language.

After all, neither Kasumigaoka Shiha, who is a senior sister, nor Kasumi Shiko, who is a best-selling author, are not easy targets to convince.

While thinking about how to talk later, Jiang Yu wrote and drew with a marker on the whiteboard, trying to clarify his thoughts.

An Yilun also saw this, and knew that he did not disturb Jiang Yu, who was thinking, and stayed quietly aside.

After a while, the door of the classroom was pushed open again, and this time it was the two most important people in the game club, who were in charge of the script and the original art.

After Kasumigaoka Shiyu walked to the front row and sat down, Yingli Li chose a position that was also in the front row, but was farthest away from Kasumigaoka Shiyu to sit down, perhaps expressing her own firm will.

Kasumigaoka Shiyu rubbed his eyes, even though he had slept at school for almost a day, he could still clearly see the red and swollen eyes...... However, maybe it's because of a day's sleep that it gets more red and swollen?

It can be clearly seen that Kasumigaoka Shiyu, who is lacking in energy because of staying up late, is still trying to maintain his usual image, looking at Jiang Yu with a light eye, and said casually: "So, let's talk about your opinions?" For the script. ”

Ah, maybe it needs to be mentioned here that at noon, An Yilun also distributed the script written by Kasumigaoka Shiyu to every member of the club.

Without waiting for the other two to speak, Ying Lili took the lead and said in an absent tone: "I thought that Xia Shizi would only write tangled love stories. ”

Kasumigaoka Shiyu lightly took the straight ball from Eiri and said with a light smile: "Do you think it's right to have that stereotype of a writer who has only published one work as a writer, Kashiwagi Eiri-sensei?" ”

An Yilun also interjected curiously: "By the way, Ying Lili, it turns out that you have also read "Love Metronome"? ”

Ying Lili's expression was stunned, then she turned her head and said fiercely: "Huh? I haven't read it again! It's just a casual ramble based on impressions! ”

“…… As a reader or a creator, your speech is terrible, isn't it? An Yilun didn't expect Ying Lili to say such a thing, and responded helplessly.

"What do you think? Or is it the way it looks at noon? Looking at An Yilun and Ying Lili, who seemed to be about to start arguing because of some trivial things, Shiyu Kasumigaoka interrupted them in time and said.

An Yilun also scratched his head in distress, and said helplessly: "I'm sorry, Senior Sister Shiyu, I still just think it's weird, but I don't know what to say." ”

"Hmph~ Lun, you can only say such things as a producer who is irresponsibly directing, right?" Ying Lili grabbed this sentence and pursued An Yilun also.

Jiang Yu is still writing something on the whiteboard, but he has been paying attention to the conversations of several people, and this time he agrees with the words that Ying Lili said.

In any project, producers and supervisors can give their opinions to the creators, but they can't say things like "I just don't think it's okay" without any basis.

Similarly, he didn't expect that Xia Shizi, who could write such a delicate and stomachache love story, could also write such a sentence with a strong taste of middle and second diseases.

Judging from Xia Shizi's previous creative style and the color of the writer she showed, it is indeed impossible to imagine that there can be such a writing route.

Jiang Yu finally stopped what he was doing, turned around, and looked directly at the wine-red pupils of Kasumigaoka Shiyu, those eyes as bright as stars made Kasumigaoka Shiyu panic for no reason.

Then he spoke: "The story of Sister Kasumigaoka is very well written, and it can be said that it fully meets the requirements in terms of writing and plot development. But ......"

Xia Zhiqiu Shiyu, who was still slightly curled at the beginning of his mouth, heard this word with a turning meaning, his eyes couldn't help but calm down, staring at Jiang Yu tightly, waiting for his next words.

An Yilun and Ying Lili also looked at Jiang Yu who was talking with a serious face.

"But it's too good."

“？？？” ×３。

Looking at the puzzled crowd, Jiang Yu explained: "Senior Sister Kasumigaoka is obviously writing the script according to the way she wrote light novels before, but the game script is very different from the traditional novel. With the exception of a few surprisingly successful works, most of the novels, especially light novels, are also first-person, but they include a large number of inner monologues of the protagonists. ”

"Novelists use language to show the inner world and behavior patterns of the characters who appear on the stage, and in the exquisite network compiled by the story, we use the narrator's 'eyes' to feel the empathy stirred by the ripples of the story, which is the 'intertextuality' of the novel;

"Kasumigaoka's script can't be said to be bad, but the treatment in some places is too novelistic, for example, when the fierce man first saw the death of Makise Red Risu, Kasumigaoka-senpai used a lot of psychological descriptions to express the fear and uneasiness in the heart of the fierce man. Then, if we want to output it as a script in the game, we can combine music and graphics to give players the emotions that the protagonist feels at that time. ”

"Besides, except for a small number of players, most people don't read every line so carefully, so if there is a lot of psychological description, they may even feel that it is a burden, obviously through the red, swirling pictures, and tense music, they have experienced the fear, self-blame, uneasiness, and a little ease after escaping."

"To sum up, Kasumigaoka-senpai's script is very good as a novel, and if the response to the work is good enough in the future, it is not impossible to release it as a version of a novel. But from the point of view of the game script, I can only give a passing grade. ”

After finishing speaking, Jiang Yu exhaled a long breath and looked at Kasumigaoka Shiyu who was frowning with some trepidation. Although he thinks that his opinion is quite correct, if the person concerned cannot accept it, he must also come up with better arguments to persuade him.

After all, "The Gate of the Stone of Destiny" is the first work that Jiang Yu is determined to launch in this world, and Phoenix Courtyard is really the male protagonist that Jiang Yu admires the most, and he attaches great importance to the completion of the game. It's not just a simple copy, but there is even the ambition to make the "Gate of Destiny Stone" that surpasses the previous life and make it launch in a more perfect form.