One day, Xiaozhi came back from kindergarten and said to his mother very depressed: "Mom, today the teacher taught us to fold paper, and everyone knows how to fold paper, but I haven't learned it, am I stupid?" ”

"What did the teacher teach you to fold?" Mom asked Xiaozhi.

"It's a paper plane, and a ship." Xiao Zhi said.

"You can't learn that, you're stupid!" Mom said casually.

When Xiao Zhi heard his mother say this, he felt even more sad. He turned his head and walked away from his mother. He never wanted to learn how to fold paper again.

When children feel that they are not doing as well as other children, they will doubt their own abilities. They often go to their parents for confirmation or some comfort, at this time, parents should not sprinkle salt on the child's wound and complain about him, but should be tolerant and encourage the child, so that the child is always confident in himself.

Every child's abilities are different, and they will always have deficiencies or even deficiencies in some aspects. At this time, if even the parents look down on them and complain about them, the child will have even more inferiority complex, and even give up on himself, thus ruining the child's life.

Some parents train their children to love to make horizontal comparisons, and their children's test scores are not as good as those of their neighbors, so they complain and even scold their children for being a little stupid. There is a good chance that this will ruin a promising child.

You can't compare your child with someone else's child, your child has a little worse academic performance, but he may be a little better than someone else's child. So, when you see your child's shortcomings, you should also see your child's strengths.

As far as learning is concerned, even children of the same age have different talents, and many non-intellectual factors such as personality will not be the same. So, it is impossible to ask for the same as other people's children.

It is a child with similar intelligence, and there is the difference between what we usually call "late enlightenment" and "early enlightenment". Einstein was not a good speaker at the age of 5 and did not learn well in junior high school. If his parents treat him as a fool or a child of unsound intelligence, where will there be an epoch-making scientific giant standing in the world?

Taiwan's famous female writer Luo Lan, it should be said that she is very successful. In fact, she did not show her characteristic talent as a child. She recalls her childhood: "I was a stupid student when I was in the sixth grade. I am not good at arithmetic, until now, I still remember when the teacher told us about the chickens and rabbits in the same cage and the children sharing peaches, I couldn't understand anything, and the more the teacher told me alone, the more I couldn't understand. I don't know why I don't understand...... I am very grateful to my father, and when I came back to see him with a 48-point report card in arithmetic, he said, 'You don't understand well, but you have a good memory, don't worry about it now, when you grow a little bit more your understanding will mature.' Later, it turned out that by the time I got to high school, my geometric algebra was no problem. ”

If Roland's father did not complain more than appreciate his children according to the characteristics of his children, it is very likely that his daughter will be said to be useless, and her later development will not be possible.

On the long road of life, everyone will inevitably make mistakes, and as a child who is not yet an adult, it is easier to make mistakes. Parents are often angry when they break a window glass with a ball, knock over a lamp, break a dish or knock over an oil bottle in the kitchen.

One day I saw a little story that touched me a lot.

His neighbor David has two innocent and lively children, one is 5 years old and the other is 7 years old. One day, David was teaching his 7-year-old son, Kelly, how to mow grass using a lawnmower. When he was taught how to turn the lawn mower around, his wife, Jane, suddenly called out to him and asked about something. When David turned to answer Jane's question, a mischievous Kelly pushed the lawnmower onto the flowerbed by the lawn and made the most of the techniques he had just learned to get to work—what a pity, the lawnmower was littered with dead flowers, leaving a two-foot-wide gap in the otherwise beautiful flowerbed.

Faced with the facts in front of him, David was furious, and he was a little out of control. You know, how much time and energy it took David to make this flowerbed what it is today, which is the envy of the neighbors! But in just two minutes, he was ruined by little Kelly. "Oh my God! Kelly! What are you doing? He roared. Just as he was about to continue scolding Kelly, Jane walked up to him, patted him lightly on the shoulder, and said, "David, don't do this, you know—we're raising children, not flowers!" ”

Children and flowers, which is more important, is clear at a glance, but we as parents will inevitably make mistakes like David, but we often lose our reason and tolerance in anger. The flower has been destroyed and can no longer be restored, so what is the use of our angry roar? Such behavior will only hurt the child's immature mind, dulling or even numbing the feeling of vitality that made them feel energetic. We are raising children, not flowers. Be tolerant of children, and don't hurt a young heart with your rudeness.

Mr. Tao Xingzhi said: "Mother should be as tolerant of Edison as Edison's mother, and when Edison was expelled and returned home, she gave him the basement to do experiments." "Yes, there will be Edison only if there is tolerance. Tolerance is the basic quality that every mother should have. Gandhi recalled his upbringing, "It was my mother's noble tolerance that saved me." ”

Gandhi was a famous leader of the modern national liberation movement in India and the founder of the modern national bourgeois political doctrine - Gandhiism. On October 2, 1869, Gandhi was born in the ancient and mysterious city of Polbanda on the Katiyahua Peninsula on the west coast of India. The Gandhi family had been in business for generations, and Gandhi's grandfather left business to enter politics, which made the Gandhi family famous in Katiawa. Gandhi's father was honest and loyal, and he never did anything wrong or illegal. Gandhi's father's moral character deeply influenced Gandhi, but it was his mother who really urged Gandhi to do what he said and did.

As a child, Gandhi was introverted, very obedient to his parents, very sensitive to things around him, and had a strong sense of self-esteem. When I was criticized by a teacher at school, I was so sad that I couldn't stand it. This sensitive teenager, like other peers, was also naughty and active, and did some wrong things, such as: stealing his parents' money to buy cigarettes and smoking; borrowed money from his brother to play outside, but he couldn't pay it back, so he secretly scraped off a small part of his brother's gold bracelet, sold it, and then returned the money to his brother.

Gandhi's mother was a devout Hindu with a quiet, delicate heart. She knew that Gandhi had a fragile heart and always treated children with a tolerant attitude. Every time Gandhi made a mistake, she would not be angry or criticize, but would calm down and think about the reasons for the child's mistake, and then admonish him with a cautious attitude and gentle words. However, whenever Gandhi made a mistake, no matter how big or small, the mother would correct it in due course, and would never allow the child to make the same mistake again and again.

Once, while walking down the street in disheveled clothes, Gandhi happened to be bumped into by his mother, who had come out to shop. His mother was not accustomed to Gandhi's uninhibited appearance, so she said a few words to him on the spot. Who knows, Gandhi didn't admit his mistakes, and even bluntly contradicted his mother and said, "Mom, you're making too much of a fuss, aren't you?" Occasionally unkempt and out of the way, why should you? ”

The mother did not get angry, but patiently educated Gandhi: "Children, those who do not pay attention to details, must be careless, and can careless people achieve great things?" Besides, how can a man who is not even properly dressed be able to imitate your father in the great affairs of the people? Think about it! I don't need you to bow down to me right now and admit your mistakes, I just hope you can change your ways in the future. ”

Seeing that his mother was so tolerant of him, Gandhi began to feel remorse, guilt, and self-blame in his heart, and felt deeply sorry for his mother's expectations of him. From then on, he made up his mind to correct his mistakes once and for all.

Tolerance is a strategy of education. In certain situations, tolerance is used appropriately to motivate the child with emotion, which is more effective than using force.

Every child wants tolerance from their parents, and it comes from the heart.

Tolerance can give parents a charismatic personality and increase the intensity of education. This charm is manifested in caring for the child's soul and allowing the child to grow self-confidence day by day; Passing on respect to children so that they can grow up with dignity; Encourage and appreciate the children's hearts, so that the children can always experience the joy of learning and life. Complaining doesn't bring that.