The relationship between humans and cats can be traced back tens of thousands of years, when a certain cave wizard was questioned by the cave people about his ability to communicate with the gods because he was not accurate because of his prediction of the weather, and if not, he was slaughtered and eaten.

The wizard was flustered, but on the surface he was very calm, he caught a beast, saying that it was a holy beast descended by the gods, and its sleeping position could predict the weather, sleeping lying down was sunny, sleeping on its side was cloudy, and curled up to sleep was going to rain.

Later, the beast was killed by a cat, so it was also destroyed, and the wizard was eaten by the people.

Since then, people have worshipped the cat as an emissary, believing that it is the one who can communicate with the gods.

(Most of the higher civilizations have rehabilitated their wizards, as weather forecasts are never accurate, which involves the observer effect.) ）

Cats don't actually want to follow humans, but if they don't do any work, they will eat, drink, and be waited, and if they don't like to stay, they will flash, so why not?

And as long as human beings hear that oracle-like meow, they are satisfied, even if they are caught, bitten, and treated indifferently and roughly.

But there has never been a cat like this!

On a clear day, visitors look at the 276-meter-high observation deck on the third floor of the Eiffel Tower at the Champ de Mars in Paris, France.

"Oh my god." "It's a cat!" "There's one more person." "That's our president......"

There was a huge sword suspended by the tower, and a fat black and white cat sat on the sword like an old man, wearing a uniform similar to that of the aliens, with the word "Bao" on its chest and the word "Divine Luck" on its back, and a pair of yellow cat eyes lazily.

"Ahh......h

But as soon as he trembled, the rope swayed, and it would tug at the blade of the sword, and the fibers would break. If this continues, it won't be long before the rope snaps and breaks, and the French president falls with a whin.

"Whoever moves, I'll throw him down." The big cat said, the voice amplified through the greatsword's PA system, resounding throughout the sky.

The tourists at the observation deck suddenly froze, looked at each other in a panic, and someone asked, "Can I take a photo and upload it to the Internet?" ”

"Shoot." The big cat turned sideways, "Take a good picture." ”

In an instant, all the tourists took pictures of it with their mobile phones, and the French president couldn't help but shout: "Help!! ”

But a few hours passed in his moment, during which the big cat slept lazily, none of the tourists left, the police and special forces did not dare to do anything, and the rescue helicopter only dared to hover in the distance. At the same time, the whole world knows about it, and it's all going live here.

Shocked netizens have everything they say, flying sword old cat! Speakable, speak standard French......

"Listen." The big cat finally moved again, "I can hear your discussions, of course I can talk!" Originally, I couldn't make such an ugly sound, but the language chip helped me. I'm not an alien cat, I grew up on Earth, and I used to live in this silly hat city with you silly hats. ”

The Champ de Mars Square on the ground and the observation deck of the Iron Tower all resounded with a burst of human exclamations.

"Flying swords?" The big cat suddenly said, "This is just an anti-gravity hovering aircraft made in Penglai, the shape is just made into a sword, and if you order it, you can make it into a fried ghost." There's sensors in the blade that communicate with the electrodes in my brain, so I can control it with brainwaves, understand? ”

When people were amazed, the sheriff on the observation deck shouted over a loudspeaker: "Whatever you are, we are willing to negotiate......"

"I don't want to." The big cat said.

As soon as the French president looked down at the ant-nest-like crowd in the square, he wanted to cry, and his image was gone, "I have no grudge against you!" Why me, it's Koreans who have opinions, not me! ”

Suddenly, the big cat jumped up and kicked the French president on the top of the head so hard that he shook violently, and the rope crackled and broke.

"Ahh People were screaming, and even many journalists were afraid to look at it.

"No grudges?" The big cat jumped back nimbly like a cat, "Human, today I'm going to tell you a true story. ”

It wagged its tail slightly, lay lazily on its side, and said, "Sixty years ago, when the United States and the Soviet Union were in the space race, they both wanted to be the first to send humans into space. But the first to be sent were monkeys, rats, and dogs. ”

What the? Hearing this, the hearts of many French people suddenly sank, this cat ...... Why does it look familiar......

"Originally, there was nothing to do with France in that competition, and the French had no skills, no money, and no heart. But they have stupidity, vanity, and cruelty, and they have to join in the fun. Monkeys and mice were the first to be sent by the Americans, and the dogs were Soviets, so they took a fancy to them, cats. ”

The big cat's yellow eyes suddenly flashed with a sharp flash, "Do you want me to remind you that of all the space animals in human history, only the French chose cats." ”

This cat...... Some opened their mouths in amazement, and a memorial statue appeared in front of the streets of Paris......

At the top of the sounding rocket in the statue, there is a black and white cat wearing a space helmet......

"Why?" The big cat continued, "Because it's a gimmick!" They didn't intend to achieve anything, as long as they could be in the limelight and make the people feel good. Cat! Is there anything cooler than sending a cat to space? ”

It raised its voice, "At 8:09 a.m. in October 1963, the Véronique AGI 47 sounding rocket lifted off with a cat inside. It was supposed to be a free cat, but you took it from the streets, tortured it with high-g-force centrifuges, pressurized chambers, etc., and stuffed a piece of inferior permanent electrode into its brain. The most excessive. ”

The big cat stood up, his eyes shining fiercely, "You thought it was a she-cat, and gave her the name 'Felicette'." ”

People have already guessed in a daze that the people watching the live broadcast at the French National Space Research Center feel a chill above their heads......

"You thought of it." The big cat walked to the tip of the sword step by step on the sword, and approached the French president with a green face, "That cat is down." Meow!!! It screamed, slammed its paw into the left side of the French president's face, and snapped, "My name is Felicette, my name is Cat Dabao!! ”

"Ahh The French president wailed in pain, and the left side of his face was immediately red and swollen.

Tourists hugged their heads, shouted, and took pictures. More soldiers and helicopters arrived, and several sniper rifles were aimed at the cat, but they still didn't dare to do it.

"Didn't Felichet get back to the ground safely?" One tourist questioned, "Then it was euthanized and taken to be sliced and studied." ”

"That's another cat, you idiot!" "You don't really think the French succeeded, do you?" Do you really think that there is any scientific value in sending a cat to suborbital flight for ten minutes and then returning to the ground? I'm telling you, the greatest scientific value is to show that there is no scientific value in doing so! ”

Amid the buzz of the crowd, the French president howled: "I'm sorry, Fei...... No, no, Mao Dabao, I'm so sorry! But, I wasn't even born at that time, I was born in 1977! It's none of my business......"

"Huh." Mao Dabao looked at him, "As the president, the history of the country is none of your business?" ”

The French president said urgently: "At that time, it was still General de Gaulle's words, not me, not me!" ”

"But de Gaulle is long dead." Mao Dabao slowly raised his cat's paw and slapped him again, and his right face was swollen, "You won't know what I've been through, it's been almost sixty years, I'm finally back, and I can finally take revenge." ”

As soon as it grabbed its claws, the hemp rope suddenly broke a large section.

"It's going to break, the rope is going to break!!" The swaying French president screamed, "Don't! ”

The crowd on the ground became agitated, and everyone consciously moved out of the way, so as not to be hit by him falling.

And on the observation deck, people watched it up close, and some of the president's lovers were anxious to cry. Someone shouted, "Don't listen to its panic!" It's not Felicette, it's an alien! "Yes, with its size, how can it be a black and white cat, obviously a dyed orange cat!"

There are also people who plead and shout: "Please, cat Dabao, give us a chance to atone for our sins!" ”

At this critical moment, a high-spirited voice sounded: "Demon cat, stop." ”

Everyone turned their eyes and saw a group of ten young people walking out of the elevator, all of them wearing handsome blue and white uniforms, holding some cold weapons such as swords in their hands. A group of special forces followed, but were only responsible for forcibly evacuating the surprised tourists.

The global audience watching the live broadcast was all wondering, who are these people? Like The Hunger Games?

"We're the unsung team," a resolute-faced man shouted, "to challenge you!" ”

Mao Dabao just glanced at them, and his beard didn't move, "Meow, is there a spiritual cultivator on the earth?" But you're so weak......"