Today I took the baby back to school, turned on the computer, I let the baby sit there and watch cartoons, looking at the baby from behind and watching the cartoons attentively, who did I tell the pain in my heart? The poor baby's future life has been covered with a thick layer of gray from now on, what shall I say? To whom do I say it?

Those who have really been hurt have no wounds in their hearts; Those who have truly loved have no love in their hearts. I don't hate anyone, I don't hate anyone who is numb, I only hate myself, maybe because I lost my conscience in my last life, so I was heartbroken and bruised all over my body in this life, right? But why would God punish me for such a thing? God's injustice! You can punish me for doing evil in my last life, you can punish me for losing my conscience in my last life, you can make me bruised and displaced in this life, but God, you should open your eyes and take a good look, this is a four-year-old child, how can you just bear to throw a four-year-old child's life into a bottomless abyss from now on?! Such a wound will stay with this poor four-year-old for the rest of his life and will never be healed!

After work, I took the baby to the supermarket to buy groceries, today I made an exception and did not stipulate the number of food and toys purchased by the baby as before, the baby who is not familiar with the world happily erected her little finger to me, one will erect four fingers, one will erect five fingers, one will use the fingers of both hands, and excitedly said to me: "Dad, so much?" Buy so much today? Looking at the cute baby, I wanted to cry without tears, I promised the baby: "Baby, you want to buy as much food as you want, buy as much food as you want, buy as many toys as you want, buy as many toys as you want, from now on, Dad is no longer required to buy things for you, you can buy as much as you want, as long as you are happy!" ”

"Yay" baby happily gestured with her hand with the "V" while pushing the shopping cart to her favorite toys and food section to buy her favorite products. When I got home in the evening, after I finished eating with my baby, I arranged for the baby to go to bed, and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable alone, which was a feeling that I couldn't describe in any words: loss, loneliness, panic, fear, choking, an indescribable pain! I can't imagine what my life will be like after losing my baby, and I am even more reluctant to leave my baby from my father and my baby from this home. However, whenever I am reluctant to let my baby go, there is always a voice that rings in my head over and over again: The baby is not your baby! Yes, no matter how hard I give, no matter how hard I try, the baby is still not my baby, my baby was born by her mother who cheated on another man during her marriage to her father. My baby is not my baby anymore, I want to cry, I want to scream loudly, I want to ask God: God, why are you hurting me like this? Why are you doing this to my baby? My baby is only a four-year-old! How can you bear to impose such suffering on a child? I am willing to bear all the sufferings of the world for my baby, I beg you, God, I beg you not to harm my baby。。。。。。

It is not necessary to let the heavens and the earth be unspiritual. I picked up the phone and called this woman who had lost her conscience, and I wanted to scold her the most vicious words in the world that I would scold, but at the moment when the phone was connected, I didn't want to scold, I was numb, I didn't feel any pain anymore, and a person who was really hurt didn't hurt in his heart.

"You know what? The baby is not my child, can you tell me what's going on? "I was so calm when I got on the phone.

"Impossible! You don't want to spew blood, you want to get rid of the burden of children, right? The ugliness and viciousness of this woman were immediately revealed and exposed.

"I don't have that kind of dirty thoughts, I can bring up my big treasure, I can also bring my little treasure, I am a father who loves children in the world. I went to two paternity testing agencies to do two paternity tests, and the results showed that Xiaobao was not my child! I replied to her calmly. yes, who do I hate? Who can I blame? I don't hate anyone, I don't blame anyone, because it's like this, no matter who you hate or blame, you can never heal the pain in my and my baby's hearts, eternal life, never heal! All the hatred and resentment no longer have any meaning, to hate only to hate my own bad life, to blame only for my blindness!

"Without me, would the results of your paternity test be valid? I ask to do it all over again! The woman replied in a tough tone.

"Okay, I'm here to help! When will you come back, I will accompany you to do another paternity test. My answer made her hang up.

But until later, I went through the legal process, and until now, several years have passed, and this woman who has lost her conscience has not dared to ask me to do a new paternity test, and the wicked person does not dare to face the reality. What makes me most angry is that now, after so many years, this woman doesn't know who the baby's biological father is, and her extremely chaotic private life has finally given her the retribution she deserves! But, God, why do you have to take the happiness of an innocent child while retributing her? I don't accept it, God, you are really unfair!

At night, I couldn't sleep, I was looking for the slightest possibility, I was looking for the near-impossible possibility to try to overturn the paternity test that had completely changed the fate of me and my baby.

At night, I was alone with the paternity test reports issued by these two different testing agencies, although they were two different paternity testing agencies, but the paternity test reports issued by them were exactly the same. They collected a total of 21 loci that are the same as my baby, and as long as one locus does not match, it means that my baby is not my baby. However, there are eleven of the 21 loci they collected from me and my baby, and I am comparing the paternity test reports issued by these two different identification agencies over and over again, I hope I can find something, even if there is a slight gap, it is enough for me to affirm and give me comfort: my baby is my baby!

I was disappointed, I compared one locus by one, even the case of the letters, even the subtle differences in symbols, I compared them one by one, one by one, over and over again, from beginning to end, I was almost about to turn over the two paternity test reports. However, I was disappointed that the loci collected by these two different paternity testing agencies were exactly the same in terms of number and gene name, and the eleven loci that my baby and I did not match were also exactly the same! I misunderstood them, in the face of scientific facts, no matter how much I don't believe that my baby is not my baby, however, my baby is indeed not my baby! No matter how much I don't believe it, no matter how many arrows pierce my heart, in the face of the facts, my baby is really not my baby, no matter how cruel the reality is, but I must force myself to admit: my baby is really not my baby!