I don't want to go on for a day like this. It was supposed to be a warm and sweet home, but because Ye'er is now obsessed with gambling, the home no longer looks like a home.

Every day I am both a father and a mother with a baby, I can't see Ye Er's figure at all, Ye Er began to go out in the morning mahjong morning, then in the afternoon, and then at night, when eating and resting, there are special people in the mahjong field to cook for them, as if Ye Er has regarded the casino as his home, the time in the casino is far more than the time at home, only at the end of the mahjong night game, when it comes to eleven or twelve o'clock in the night, he returns home.

Every time Ye'er comes home at night, I always don't fall asleep, not because I'm not sleepy, but because I'm so sleepy that I can't sleep.

Ye Er came home at night, almost every time she took off her clothes and prepared to wash, she said to me: "I'm tired today, my clothes are full of the smoky smell of those few smokers and card players, and tomorrow you wash all my clothes." ”

Every day with my children, busy at home and outside, all kinds of dissatisfaction, resentment, helplessness and other complex emotions fill my heart, only alcohol can temporarily paralyze and relieve my complex emotions and bad mood. It turns out that I also drink, but it is a happy little wine, and I rarely get drunk. Now I drink more, but now only I understand the taste of wine: the hardships of life, the helplessness of marriage, and the dissatisfaction with Ye'er's busy gambling all day long。。。。。。 Now I get drunk a lot.

One of the ugliness of human nature is to take advantage of other people's misfortunes and give false empathy, so as to get into the trap and hide behind your own jokes. I'm often drunk on these so-called hypocritical sympathies. At the wine table, there are always a few ill-intentioned people who pretend to sympathize with and understand your suffering, your pain, and then when you are in the most depressed and worst mood, take the opportunity to get you drunk, while he himself pretends to be an empathetic and kind person there, and when I get up the next day, your drunken affair last night has already spread throughout the entire unit and the entire circle of friends.

These people are always like this, they are always calculating to make you ugly, and they are always hoping that you will be worse than them, and when I am drunk and go home and fall asleep, and they are afraid that they will not see the sun tomorrow, and they are always in a hurry to tell everyone he can tell him about your drunken mess before dawn, and perhaps only in this way can they make their despicable and twisted hearts happy.

Of course, there are also really sincere and kind friends, they always advise me to drink less, and when I have been anesthetized by alcohol and start to rush to drink, they are always not afraid to tear my face with me and take the wine glass from my hand.

Really, you have to believe that there are many things that really come with a person's bones, including the amount of alcohol and the amount of alcohol.

I can drink a lot of alcohol, and I can drink alcohol, but I am very distressed when I am drunk. After drinking with other people's drinking tables for so many years, I have found that people who drink alcohol are generally divided into four types of people. The first type of people who belong to the deep city government are always able to control themselves well, no matter what kind of drinking place they encounter, they can always take it when they see it, and it is almost rare to get drunk. The second type belongs to a bit of emotionality, easy to get drunk, but as long as they are drunk, they sleep with their heads covered, or fall crooked in chairs, or lie on the table, sometimes simply sit on the ground, but they just sleep, never drink and talk nonsense, let alone do anything out of the ordinary. The third type of person belongs to the drunken gibberish type, saying everything that can be said and can't be said, the so-called "literary chaos". The fourth kind belongs to the drunken "martial arts" people, drunk the most immoral, do not say nonsense, but also hands, or beat people, or smash things, all kinds of capable and can't do, can do it after drinking, this is the most dangerous kind of people, meet this kind of people, after a long time, after understanding each other, we tend to stay away from this kind of person, because you don't know what kind of out-of-the-ordinary things he can do when he is drunk.

The first kind of person, I can't learn, eat the fireworks of the world, enjoy grains and grains, I am a person of temperament, I can't learn that kind of city, I am not good at hiding and disguising myself. I stay away from the fourth type of people and admire and envy the second type of people because I am the third type of people. After drinking, I always talk nonsense, although I am drunk and messy, but I don't know where so much spirit comes from, I always talk non-stop, until I feel tired, I will be full of alcohol and fall asleep unconsciously, and when I wake up the next day, I don't remember what I said last night because I was drunk.

I was very distressed by my lack of morality after drinking, and I tried to quit drinking, but quitting alcohol is not a thing after all, because when you have troubles and sorrows in your heart, smoking and alcohol are your best companions. But this kind of immorality after often getting drunk has repeatedly damaged my image, and I was already distressed by the chicken feathers of my marriage, but now I am more troubled in my heart.

"Three times a day, I am distressed by my drunken immorality, but Ye'er never cares about my business, my drunken gaffe is like air to her, she just cares about her gambling money every day, and the traditional and glorious mission of "husband and child" has long been gone and ceased to exist in Ye'er.

The process of life is also a process of continuous cultivation. There is no hope of quitting drinking, so I thought of worshipping the Buddha and practicing as a layman, maybe sincere worship of the Buddha and cultivation of my body and mind can keep me away from the disturbances of the world, so that I will never drink again, and then it will be impossible to get drunk.

I admired one of my female classmates, she was beautiful, fair-skinned, tall, wearing a pair of glasses, an elegant woman. Although she was not in the same class as me, her beauty and temperament made many of our male classmates salivate at that time, and the love letters she received even filled her entire desk, but she never opened any of them, just quietly let them lie in the belly of her desk. Like me, she became a teacher after graduating from the Normal School, but for some reason, she suddenly started to worship Buddha and become a layman one day, but she didn't know why, but later she got married and had children. At the beginning, she set up an altar at home to burn incense and worship Buddha practice, work can still be on time to and from work, less than a year, she actually quit her job and ran away from home, traveled all over the world, famous mountains and rivers, major temples have left her figure, she has completely forgotten everything in the world, including her parents, her husband, and her children, I don't know how much hurt, how much determination to let her forget the world so clean. The last time I heard a classmate say that our female classmate hadn't been home for more than 20 years since she went out to practice.

I can't do this, I can't give up my parents, my baby, my home, and Ye'er. However, I believe I can do it at home. When I told Ye'er about this idea, I didn't expect that Ye'er expressed strong opposition to this matter. Ye'er said that only people who are deeply wronged and full of demons will practice worshipping the Buddha.

Yes, maybe Ye'er is right.

Without the heart-rending pain and the pain of being bruised all over the body, who would bear to abandon the fireworks of the world and the prosperity of the world?

After all, my idea didn't come true.