At this moment, the fallen leaves floating outside the window and the small games used to hide the tension in the hands seem to exist to help hide the embarrassment.

He and I, each with our own thoughts, sat side by side, and at this moment, we had a lot of thoughts.

Ahri took out a blank piece of paper, lowered his eyes, and wrote down the doubts in his heart on the spot: "I just want to ask you, what are you thinking?"

Simple, straightforward text.

It's time to come or come, my thinking is actually very simple, I don't think about overly complicated aspects, I don't understand this, I feel that being together, I am very happy, and I am only happy.

But I forgot about human feelings, right and wrong, very trivial and messy, and there are many things I don't understand to learn.

Without much thought, I replied simply, "I didn't think about anything."

To be honest, a person with my personality is always very shy in front of the people I am interested in, and I don't know what to say, so I am at a loss.

I know it's not good, but I don't know how to change it, because what I need to change is not a small habit, but my whole personality, and it's really hard for me.

"I'm ignoring you, how do you feel?"

He handed the note to me again, and suddenly he was a little confused, shouldn't it be that I ignored him? Why did he ignore me?

However, the fact seems that we ignore each other, and from the moment the school starts, it seems that we don't know how to get along and how to face each other.

The onlookers might also think that we are strangers.

I picked up the pen and continued to pretend to be calm and write down two words: "It's okay."

Then, with a forced smile, it was handed to him.

Actually, it's okay, I didn't think about anything else at the time except embarrassment, just embarrassment.

Then I added, "Maybe you'll get used to it."

He was a little excited, "No! You can't get used to it."

It's obviously two people sitting side by side, but they pass notes to each other and communicate with each other like a network, so this kind of communication is much smoother.

It would be nice if humans didn't have the ability to speak, and they didn't have to force themselves to speak.

Every time I can express something with gestures or eyes, I try not to speak, because I think language communication is too cumbersome.

"So serious?" I frowned and replied, I like to joke because I am afraid of embarrassment, but today he is extraordinarily serious and serious.

"No, we can't be together." He completely ignored my question and said inexplicably and seriously.

This means that we can take back all our possibilities and become ordinary friends.

I should understand it correctly, that's what he meant, as if it never started, after all, it really didn't start.

"Okay."

After I finished speaking, he left, without looking back, and the expression he showed should be atmosphere and helplessness.

Seems disappointed in my answer, otherwise what else could I say? Is it a dead beggar begging her? No, I won't, and I can't be like that.

This is my character, if I can't even accept the basics, then what I like is just nonsense, not counted.

The most important thing is that it's hard to accept, maybe it's really not suitable, and we can't force ourselves together, and we both have problems with this matter.

No need to say sorry.

Each has its own ideas, doesn't know how to communicate, doesn't know how to get along, dull temperament and self-care speculation, these are the only way to fall in love, maybe I will grow up on this road.

Hope.

After this, our relationship did not return to normal friends, but ignored each other and did not take the initiative to approach each other, although maintaining the most basic communication, there will be no deeper conversations.

I don't know how he was, but I reviewed myself, and most of my problems were me, maybe he was waiting for me to take the initiative.

Unfortunately, I won't.

……

Lunch break for the day.

Since the TV series starring the goddess was launched, I downloaded it early on Saturday and Sunday, and then lay on the bed and watched it leisurely, without any sleepiness, completely obsessed with beauty.

However, they all had to take a lunch break.

Head to head with me was Alin, who was not only asleep at the moment, but also purring rhythmically.

It was this snoring sound that made the roommate in the lower bunk very dissatisfied, and it should be Bo who stood up, she first looked at me, thinking it was me who made the sound, I turned around and whispered: "I haven't slept yet, it's not me." ”

Then, she nodded and gave Alin a gentle nudge, who slept lightly, and she woke up looking at us sleepily.

Seemingly angry, Alin is known to have a wake-up gas.

Bo whispered: "You snored just now, maybe you didn't sleep well, maybe you just turned over." ”

Bo spoke very gently, but received an extremely ungentle answer.

"Snoring? How can it be? I never snore when I sleep! Alin suddenly became agitated, sat up, looked like she was about to debate, and then she pointed at me and said, "It's you!" Usually you can snore, it can't be me! ”

"Me?" I don't know if I usually snore or not, but I haven't fallen asleep at noon today, so how could it be me?

Later, I slowly learned that she is the kind of character who wants to save face.

After Alin finished speaking, they all projected questioning eyes and looked at me, the meaning was already obvious, they didn't believe me, I didn't continue to explain, but turned directly to the other side, facing the wall, and continued to watch the TV series.

You can't be disturbed by these trivial things, can you? What's more, whatever others think, I just need to understand it clearly.

However, it seems that it is because of my snoring every night when I go to bed that they believe in Alin so much, and if they can control it, who wants to let it exist?

In short, this is a very difficult point, especially because of such uncontrollable factors.

Later, every night, I would force myself to stay awake and wait for everyone to fall asleep before I went to sleep, but they seemed to be night owls, as if they didn't sleep until the early hours of the morning.

I couldn't hold on anymore, so I fell asleep unconsciously, and after a while, I was woken up, just because I disturbed them, and the cycle went on and on.

Day after day, the psychological pressure can be great and intensify.

Hopefully I can hold on.

……

Sudden night chat.

Everyone didn't sleep, they were playing with their phones, and I don't know who suddenly mentioned it, it was about Ahri.

My calm mood was pulled again, and it was difficult to think about it without sobering up now, so I silently pricked up my ears, trying to hear their conversation clearly.

Suddenly, Xin said: "Ahri and I are junior high school classmates, we have said so many times, if I liked him, we would have been together a long time ago." ”

Everyone also felt that what Xin said made some sense, so they didn't continue to ask, and then switched to the next topic.

But, I would like to reply to Xin: Will it?

This proves that Xin is very confident.

And I, like a cold-blooded animal, why don't I feel sad? I just feel sorry, but there is some relaxation in my heart?!

That's right, it's a lot easier.

At least I don't have to rack my brains every day to think about how to communicate with him, as far as I am concerned, no matter how important an event is, as long as it is very troublesome, I am not willing to take the initiative to do it, unless it is a necessary event.

In the next few days and even months, Ahri frowned all day long, and his eyes always revealed a little sadness, is it sad?

I still hurt him.

……

Every Thursday evening self-study, I will sign a leave list, which is the leave to go home on Friday night, but this time the difference is that I can't wait for a long time.

Until the bell rang for the end of the last class.

Panicked.

Will this mean that there will be no holidays this week? Speculation is different, people are panicking, and people are racking their brains to find the reason.

"The teacher must have forgotten, and I should be able to sign it when class starts tomorrow."

"Yes, it must be, otherwise it's not a holiday, and there's no need to make up classes or anything, there's no reason."

"Let's see tomorrow, I will definitely rest on my day off."

“……”

Accounts differ and opinions vary.

Is it a comfort to yourself?

The slap in the face is that the next day I still haven't waited for the list of leave, so, what does it mean?

At that time, Mr. Hai walked in and explained the situation, the special period of leading the inspection has not passed, so on Friday night, he is not allowed to go home, and he needs to stay and continue to study at night, and he can not go home until Saturday morning.

I see, it didn't affect me much.

However, for them, it seems that the impact is great, and their faces are full of reluctance, and they just hope that this big inspection will pass quickly.

I don't understand what their sudden reluctance is due to, isn't it just that they need to study for an extra night? Is it hard?

Later, I understood.

As soon as they finished studying at night, they rushed to the dormitory and began to clean up and dress themselves, and I stood by curiously like a bystander.

They ignored me and started talking about weird words, which I didn't understand, probably just going out and having fun.

Hanging out?

I glanced at the sky outside the window, it was pitch black, it was past ten o'clock in the evening, where were I going to play?

Internet cafe? It's the only place I know of that is open twenty-four hours a day, and it's cheap.

But they don't look like they're going to an Internet café.

Except for a burst of turmoil, I was the only one left in the dormitory, which was surprisingly quiet.

At this time, I gradually realized that I was the only one next, and a burst of horror scenes involuntarily came to my mind, and the more I resisted not thinking about it, the more frequent it appeared.

Moreover, all the horror plots of the past are vividly displayed, as if they are right in front of you.

I repeated in my heart that the lights would go out at half past eleven and the lights would go out at half past eleven......

Hurry to sleep, hurry to sleep, hurry to sleep......

However, the more I think about it, the more sober I become, I really regret that I didn't know how to watch some horror movies at the beginning, and now I regret it, but I have already watched it.

All my thoughts came to my mind, and at the moment I was looking at the ceiling like a robot, not daring to move, and the frolicking and quarreling in the corridor seemed to have nothing to do with me.

It's a person, but I feel like I'm surrounded by people, full of people.

I tried to fall asleep, but I didn't feel sleepy.

After a moment, I yawned, and just as the lights went out a moment, I lost consciousness.

Coincidentally, the next time I opened my eyes, it was already dawn, and it was the sun that woke me up, and it was the first time I loved the sun so much, thinking about how nice it would be if it was always daytime.

I really admire myself.

When I think of yesterday, the silence of the night is that kind of quiet, which is especially scary.

Sit up, what is Mr. Ahri doing today?

This year, my sister gave me a birthday gift of Ahri's ceramic piggy bank, and she also saw that I liked Ahri, it was indeed cute, as cute as he was.

At that time, I fantasized about 10,000 possibilities for us to be together, but why was it this one, and in the end there was only one single figure left.

Take your time, forget slowly.

Looking back later, I may just laugh and laugh about myself at that time.

Maybe Ahri was just talking casually at the time, maybe he didn't care at all, maybe he was thinking too much, just thinking too much.

There is no one who leaves and who cannot live.

Now, every day when I look at him, I am smiling, the iconic little tiger teeth, the milk is fierce, and it seems that my previous worries are unnecessary.

But he is always sad and sad on social platforms, sharing his feelings, and his words are particularly sad.

He really doesn't care.

Because his smile is very real and simple.

……

"Hello everyone, I'm today's announcer......" After school in the afternoon, the moment I walked to the podium, I suddenly heard this familiar voice, and I paused instantly.

Is it an idol?

I may not remember his appearance very well, but his voice was very deep, and if I continued to listen, I was sure that it was him.

After listening to the whole broadcast, I returned to the dormitory with excitement, opened a dialog with the idol, and asked, "I heard that."

Puzzled by his reply, I said, "I heard today's broadcast."

"Really? What do you think?"

"That's good."

So, we started a discussion about what you say to me, I call him an idol, and he is not disgusted, he seems to be a friend, and like a brother and sister, in short, he does not have any frame to communicate with me.

Approachable.

I also spoke freely and happily shared with him, of course, only on the Internet, almost nothing.

He was very straightforward, and suddenly sent a screenshot of his chat homepage.

I was a little shocked.

He actually chatted with more than a dozen friends at the same time, and almost all of them were girls.

This......

Friends of women?

Besides, wouldn't that be confusing? The speed of his reply is also very fast, not a second response, but not slow either.

How?

The mind is full of questions, but there are no questions, it seems to understand the reason, and there is no enthusiasm, who wants to be one of those ten thousand people?

Anyway, I don't want to.

There is no interest either.

In the future, every time I receive a message from him, I will subconsciously imagine that he is chatting with many female friends at the moment, and there will be no topic, which will disturb him.

Later, he met his sister, and the relationship between them seemed to be better, like the kind of friends who had known each other for many years, and I became a passerby.

However, I didn't really care, I wouldn't have chatted in the first place, and I wouldn't have asked for these things, which didn't have any practical meaning.

Because no matter how good the relationship is on the Internet, no one will be able to stand my temperament in reality, and even I am disgusted with myself.