When someone stares deeply at you, no matter how far away, you can feel it. After Zhong Li left, the old man Zhong Neng glanced behind him, felt that there was someone, and when he turned around, it was empty again.

Last night's back injury worsened this morning, and the old body was stiff and heavy, and it was not even good to walk, let alone stand and sweep the streets for miles - Zhong Neng swept the floor this morning at a significantly slower speed. The two black hands holding a dozen pounds of broomsticks, every time they swept to the left, their arms drove their waists to twist, and their waists throbbed. Fortunately, the pain suppressed the sadness. All the old man's attention was on coping with the pain.

What about pain, hopeless sorrow?

Zhong Neng is always angry with himself, angry that he has no luck, angry that he is weak and has no temper, and angry that he is incompetent and useless. Zhong Neng, Zhong Neng, what can it do? There are so many people in the world, there are only men and women, and there are women who have men's wives, men who look like women, women who do big things and take care of their families, and men who can bend and stretch inside and out...... How can gender be limited to the variety of human beings?

Zhong Neng is often angry that he is spineless, not as capable and temperamental as the village chief Ma, he can hold on inside and out, and he is respected like a serious northern man of eight hundred. On the other hand, in this family, she is more like an old woman. Zhong Neng stopped and lamented that it was smooth, and then continued to work with a big broom.

He also had a glorious and respected time, which should have been in the village, after Zhong Li was admitted to university. In the early 90s, college tuition was frighteningly expensive, and even after applying for student loans, Zhong Li's accommodation, textbook fees, and living expenses were like a mountain of overwhelming the elderly. At that time, he went out for the sake of his children, and he posted a notice in red and black at the entrance of the commissary in Zhongjiawan, saying that in order to make up for the baby's tuition, he was willing to plow the land for people, ten yuan per acre of land...... The past was pressing, Zhong Neng took out a handkerchief and wiped a handful of tears.

This must be the most beautiful thing I have done in my life.

As soon as the notice came out, he was unknown and ignored in the village for most of his life, and suddenly became a celebrity in Zhongjiawan, and the neighbors were embarrassed to ask him to plow the land, and they introduced him to the work of other villages. In those two or three years, every spring or autumn, he often carried a plow of fifty or sixty catties and led an old ox of more than ten years to appear in the village or on the way back to Zhongjiawan from another village at dawn or dusk. It's not easy for people to pity him, and sometimes he stays for a meal, and he's so polite that he's not welcome, after all, a meal is also a few cents of calculation and livelihood in his eyes. Whenever the ten dollars that were crumpled, cracked, or rolled into a thin roll were handed to him, how many people could understand that sadness?

In the mid-90s, he was an out-and-out farmer who relied on farming, plastering, and ploughing to provide for a college student from one of the top five universities in the province. In the following ten years, no college student in Zhongjiawan has ever surpassed his son in school.

This must be the most beautiful thing I have done in my life.

Zhong Neng stopped, rubbed his waist, and continued to sweep the floor.

The earth in the world is cool, the city is still sleeping, and the birds are crying happily.

The ordinary and mediocre Zhong Neng is in love with the ordinary and mediocre life. He is not a hero or a hero, no matter how humble he is a cleaner, he is infinitely attached to the flower world of this Huatianbao, even if he can't embrace it, he will not live in vain if he looks at the crowd of buildings, appreciates the neon night view, and blows the fragrant wind. What's more, he still has the pleasure of teasing his grandson, the joy of labor, the joy of ancient rarity, the joy of eyes, ears, nose and tongue, and the joy of breathing......

Zhong Neng suffers from uselessness and is happy to live. It's better to die than to live, grind and grind, maybe good days will come.

Bao Xiaoxing got up before six o'clock in the morning and rushed to pick up his son from the farmer's market. Not far from the Zhong family's shop, she waited for her son to come out at half past six. Inexplicably happy, every morning when I see my son, I am inexplicably happy. After Xuecheng got up by himself, washed by himself, and cleaned up by himself, he left the shop with a large bag and a small bag, and ran towards the corner where he usually met his mother. Under the gray and yellow street lamp, Bao Xiaoxing took his son's schoolbag and his water cup, carried it with his right hand, and took his son's soft and warm little hand out of the market with his left hand.

As usual, the mother and son went to breakfast first. Hyosung had already planned last night, and today she had plenty of time to take her child to eat his favorite tofu brain, which was a little farther away, and Hyosung pulled her son along the way. After entering the breakfast shop, Hyosung settled her son and sat down at the empty table in the corner, and after putting away all the things, she hurriedly went to order food - salty soup and tofu brain, three fried buns, a small bowl of red bean porridge, and a meat bun, all of which were her son's favorite food. At breakfast, the mother and son have the most tacit understanding, and they can eat as much as they can, and they can eat as much as they can, which is just the end of Hyosung's pocket, which not only saves money but also makes the child happy.

As soon as the same thing was served, Hyosung sat down and pulled out a small lunch box of boiled quail eggs and a kiwi from his cloth pocket, which she had prepared for her son the night before. When Xuecheng bowed his head and ate tofu brain, Hyosung peeled eggshells and peels for his son on the side.

"Eat more! Eat enough and study hard! Hyosung smiled and peeled a quail egg and put it in the tofu brain in front of Gakseung.

Xuecheng has been eating with his head down, and he seems to have kept his head down since he left the shop. Peeled three quail eggs, felt that it was still early, and the mother couldn't help but stare at her son. Right now, the happiest thing for her is to watch her son eat. Along the way, the light was dim and the footsteps were hurried, and at this moment, Bao Xiaoxing looked up and stared mysteriously - startled.

"What's wrong with the right side of your face? Why is it so red! Bao Xiaoxing asked quickly and loudly.

"Hmm...... I don't know, the ...... who slept didn't raise his head, nor did he look at his mother, and pretended to eat a lot of food.

Aware of this, Hyosung put down what he was holding, wiped his hands with a napkin, and reached out to lift Sung Sung's chin. I saw that the child's entire right face was red and swollen, and the most terrifying thing was that the whites of the child's right eyes were all blood-red.

Xuecheng looked at his mother, tears welled up in his left eye, and the tears were full of helplessness, grievance, and sadness......

Hyosung's heart sank, and his teeth clenched. She couldn't stand it anymore, pretended to be fine, and continued to peel quail eggs. After each peel, he put the snow-white egg into his son's tofu brain sprinkled with shrimp, coriander and chili oil. The tofu brain in the north is really delicious, for so many years, she loves to eat it the most, and her son also loves to eat it the most, but unfortunately there are very few in the south.

A few tears fell from the red bean porridge in front of Bao Xiaoxing's eyes. She tried to calm herself and tried to infect her son with her calmness. Ke Xuecheng looked at his mother like a kitten dodging and couldn't help himself, and his eyes were heartbreaking. What was supposed to be a good and hearty breakfast, suddenly there was a shortage of air, silently, and it stopped intermittently.

"Hurry up and eat!" Bao Xiaoxing's voice choked as soon as she spoke, and she quickly cleared her throat and shifted her attention to peeling kiwifruit.

After two minutes, Xuecheng said cowardly, "I'm full." ”

When Hyosung looked, there was a lot left on the table—that was left for her by her son. In the past two years, she has been frugal in the past two years, and under her push, her son has also learned to push and know, and knows that the best will always be left to his mother or grandfather or sister. Where can Hyosung eat, and a string of clear snot falls from his nose unexpectedly. After the child finished eating the fruit and wiping his mouth, she cleaned up her things, and after paying the bill, she pulled her son out of the breakfast shop.

The green path to school that the mother and son used to run hand in hand is walking very slowly today. Hyosung saw that her son's right eye was frighteningly red, regardless of whether it was convenient for the head teacher to learn at the moment, she directly called the head teacher to ask for a leave, and then took her son to the emergency department of the hospital, and on the way used WeChat to ask the clothing store owner Cao Bin for half a day off.

At this moment, the bastard Zhong Li is waiting for her at the door of the clothing store.

queuing up to register, issue bills and pay bills, and wait for the number to make films...... Bao Xiaoxing, who was sitting in the waiting area, accompanied his son and was silent from beginning to end.

Time is so hard.

I asked myself, what had I done, and why had I let my son endure this torture? Hyosung, who quietly wiped tears from time to time, almost couldn't hold back many times - she felt that she couldn't hold it anymore, that her sky was about to fall, and that she couldn't live anymore.

When Xuecheng went to make a film, Bao Xiaoxing hid in the women's toilet alone, crying uncontrollably and lawlessly, and in her grief she slapped herself three times in a small grid - so hard that she almost used up her strength! The slap echoed amazingly in the small space, the slap was so loud that it stopped the passing, and the slap made the right side of her face hot. She used as much effort as Zhong Li used, but the pain on her face was ten points on her son.

She hated herself and blamed herself.

What the hell is she supposed to do? but harmed him for his sake. To be honest, this marriage has been broken for her, and she endured it again and again for the sake of her children. I always feel that there is still hope, and I always feel that everything can still be saved. When she lost sleep, she imagined that maybe the shop would turn around after she threw it to him, maybe he didn't drink as badly as he used to be, maybe Meimei or time would change him......

She thought that keeping the family intact was the best childhood for her son, but now, it was she who insisted on the integrity of his childhood that made his childhood a shadow. What the hell is she doing?

Bao Xiaoxing was crying and howling in the toilet, no matter how many people came and went listening and being shocked.

Knowing that Zhong Li has been irritable and often does it for so many years, why is he indifferent? Is it because she feels that a gentle spanking can be tolerated? Is it because she thinks that gratuitous violence can be tolerated as long as it doesn't hurt severely? Is it because she thinks the beating she thinks is tolerable? Why did she suddenly become hysterical when she saw her son's swollen face, blood-red eyes, and unusually sparkling eyelids today? Is it because she thinks that Zhong Li's atrocities this time are beyond her bottom line?

Why should an eight-year-old child be hurt by what she, an adult, can say to endure?

Until all domestic violence ends, parents other than the abuser are counted as accomplices – accomplices who are difficult to forgive.

Why has she endured being beaten for no reason for so many years? Is it because she was often beaten by her parents when she was a child? What she endured was completely different from what she endured—of a very different nature. Can't she see the difference between violence victimization and stick education? I'm afraid she doesn't want to see it.

Bao Xiaoxing hates herself, to a certain extent, today, after completing her studies, she has an unshirkable responsibility as her biological mother.

She's grief-stricken, she's excited, she's out of control...... Heartbreaking, she had to force herself to do something - for the sake of this child. If today's serious injury can't alert her to being a mother, then this child is probably really hopeless.

A lifetime of spoiling in childhood was spent on squandering and taking; Those who were suppressed and unfairly treated in childhood have been taking revenge all their lives; Childhood was excessively depressed all his life in the pursuit of heaven***; A lifetime of dissatisfaction in childhood is the pursuit of deformed excess gratification...... Desire is the first thing a person comes into contact with after birth, and ability is something that a person will strive to obtain throughout his life, and the balance of the two determines whether a person's life is happy. If there is a misunderstanding of desires in childhood, or if there is extreme deprivation and excess, this will sow the seeds of misfortune in the person's life.

How does eight-year-old Zhong Xuecheng understand the basic desires of people? Violent? Shady? Extreme or ruined if you don't get it? If it is said that the age of zero to seven is the transition period of a person from animal instinct to human individuality; The age of seven to fourteen is the transition period from an individual to a member of society, and it is at this age that the social character of a person is formed. How important childhood is to a person's life, Bao Xiaoxing does not understand.

Why is it so serious to attack a weak child? Why do you want to punch your child in the eye and in the face? Why don't you ask after the fight...... In the waiting area, Bao Xiaoxing leaned back in a chair and held a wet toilet paper ball. She has worked hard all these years to calculate for her children, and the result of all her calculations is useless tears.

The results of the noon examination came back - mild opacity of the vitreous, mild contusion of the antelyphic segment, and no major injury on the right side of the face. After taking the child to get medicine, the mother and son ate at a fast-food restaurant outside the hospital, and then she sent her home. On the bus back, she called her sister Tang'er and asked her to help take care of Xuecheng recently, and Xiaotang readily agreed.

In the second half of the day, Hyosung rushed to the clothing store, because he only took half a day off, even if he came late. She was completely out of line with what she was busy with for half a day, and she only had two words in her mind - divorce.

After getting off work at half past five, she didn't care about eating alone, and under the promenade on the street, she drafted a divorce agreement with her mobile phone, and then rode straight to the farmer's market.

I haven't been here for a long time, and before I entered the store, Bao Xiaoxing's eyes became cloudy. Seeing that the child's grandfather was inside, she immediately stopped her tears and adjusted her state, even though her eyes were already red and swollen.

"Great, Xuecheng is at my place, I forgot to call you." As soon as Hyosung entered the shop, he spoke first.

"Oh! You're here, star! The old man was very surprised, and stood up with difficulty on the armrest of the sofa and sat on the stool in the corner.

"What's wrong with you?" Hyosung saw that the old man was unable to move, so he asked.

"I'm fine. Cheng'er called me at lunch and said that you took him to the hospital and didn't go to school. Zhong Neng was ashamed and couldn't say what happened last night.

If the old man doesn't say it, Hyosung can guess it.

"I'm going to ...... Put the baby there in the future. After a long time, Hyosung sat down, looked at the ground and said this ordinary and shocking decision.

"Oh! Good! Good! It's better to leave it there for you, and be white! and the baby will not be sinned. The hour was on his knees with his hands on his hands, and his head was so heavy that it seemed to fall to the ground.

Hyosung sighed lightly, and then said, "I will send him to school early every morning in the future, and you want to pick him up in the afternoon." ”

"It's done, it's done! I'll pick him up whenever I'm free. After a pause, he added, "See that he has dinner, and send him back to you immediately." The baby is here...... It's not comfortable, I'm worried too. ”

Hyosung nodded and didn't speak.

After a while, she asked, "What about others?" ”

"Who knows! He didn't come back last night, and he went out early after I got off work. Who knows! Zhong Neng couldn't hide the loneliness on his face.

"Great, I'm here for divorce." Bao Xiaoxing, who had been unable to speak, blurted out suddenly when he thought of his son this time. After she finished speaking, she took out the document from her bag with a twinkle in her eyes, and then put it on the broken coffee table that she had once smashed.

There was a long gap in the middle of the coffee table, and there was a glass opening on the side. This is probably the fundamental reason for her divorce from Zhong Li - he can tolerate flaws and glass openings like blades, and she can endure it herself, but she doesn't want to endure it anymore for the sake of the child's safety and growth this time.

Bao Xiaoxing put the document on the glass and said with difficulty: "Tell him, I don't want to talk to him." You can sign it at any time, it's easy to discuss any problems, the account - I will pay it back alone, and I will raise it myself, Meimei's side - I will say. ”

Zhong Neng wiped his tears silently, afraid that he would be old and fragile out of control, so he didn't dare to speak out of anger. The words that should have kept this good daughter-in-law were ashamed to not say a word.

After a long silence, Hyosung crossed his feet, looked at his knees and said, "Big cry." Every month I will pay you living expenses. Later...... Later...... In the future, he doesn't care about you and me, I can't care about Meimei and Xuecheng will also take care of you. Don't worry, I'll remember your help for so many years, dolls...... I also know your goodness, and I remember it. Hyosung choked up.

There are too many things to say, but when it comes to the moment of divorce, I don't want to say it, I can't say it. It was useless to say more, Bao Xiaoxing bit her lip, didn't say hello, stood up and turned around to leave the Zhong family's shop, left her home, and left the first half of her life.

Sister Zhang on the opposite side met her head-on, and Hyosung, whose eyes were full of tears, didn't have time to say hello and strode away with his head down. Sister Zhang looked at Hyosung in the distance, and then at the old man in the store, expecting that the Zhong family was about to disperse. Joys and sorrows, a soft sigh. Then he lowered his head and continued to pick the defective barley, and threw the spoiled beans into the trash.

"Come on, Bao'er eat another meatball!" At about six o'clock in the evening, Lao Ma took Yangyang to eat in a beef noodle shop. Today, Gui Ying transferred 3,000 yuan to him as the food expenses of the old couple, and the old horse didn't want to waste it, so he took the child to take a detour of two miles to eat beef balls.

A large portion of beef soup, a handful of thin vermicelli, three or five green vegetable leaves, seven or nine beef balls, an old bowl of light and delicious beef soup, and then ordered a fried beef river, this is the hearty dinner of the two of them. Seeing that Yangyang ate slowly and didn't know how to use chopsticks, Lao Ma asked for a small bowl and spoon for her to take out and eat little by little.

"This ball is really powerful, why haven't I eaten such a delicious before!" After the old horse finished muttering, he fished one and put it in his mouth.

"Ahh Suddenly, there was a murmur of disgust.

I saw a round beef ball come down from the child's small spoon to wipe the clothes, and then bounced on the ground like a glass ball for three or five rounds, and finally rolled to a garbage can three meters away. After the two men saw the beef ball find its home, they looked at their grandfather silently. The old horse snorted deliberately, and helplessly pulled out toilet paper to wipe her clothes. Rubbing it, I saw that the back of the baby's neck was red. Lao Ma wondered, it was not good to pick up the clothes of the female doll in the store and take a closer look at the back, so he had to hide the question mark and continue to eat.

In the evening, after the restless period had passed, the old man went to her room to tell her stories and put her to sleep as usual.

"In other words, there is a wizard and a little ghost, and they are competing for the manifestation of the spirit in order to rob the common people of the fireworks money. One day, the wizard secretly knocked down the image of the little ghost, and the little ghost did not know who did it, so he did something wrong in that place to punish the people there. One day, an old man went to the temple to worship, and after worshipping, he saw the idol fall to the ground, and kindly helped it up, but was seen by the little ghost, who mistook the old man for the one who knocked down his statue, so he did it on the old man and killed the old man. ”

After the first story was told, Yang Yang bit his hair and didn't feel sleepy. Judging from the little doll's sluggish expression, the old horse told the story he told was not good, or it was difficult to hear.

When the child saw that his grandfather had stopped, he begged, "Grandpa, can you tell me about Grimm's fairy tales, which is the story of Cinderella, the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and ...... The story of the little swan. ”

"What? I don't know what you're talking about, so why should I tell you? ”

"But my dad ...... Just tell me those stories. ”

"Then your dad isn't here now?" As soon as Lao Ma said this, he regretted it very much.

"I want my dad...... I want my mother to ......," Yang Yang begged with a crying voice.

"Oops! Ye is not a mason - pinch a mud for you, dad and mud mom come out! They'll be back with your brother later! Where will the three of them sleep at night if they don't come back - on the street? "The old horse was brought into the cycle of the most headache every night.

Seeing that this reason was impeccable, Yangyang didn't know how to fight back, and the old and young were deadlocked for ten seconds.